Author's Note: So I don't normally write romance/sappy stories but this time my emotion got the better of me. Let's just say, New Year's sucked, and I hated it. A lot. Mostly because I spent it alone and pining over someone who's miles away doesn't know how I feel about them. Thus, this story was born. Enjoy it, dear readers!
Here's To Another Year
Jack scowled at the ridiculously large crowd of people on the screen, gripping at her shaved head with a tattooed hand; her brow furrowing even more as the reporter babbled excitedly into the microphone about her New Year's Resolution. The convict made a noise of disgust her in throat before giving the screen the finger and taking a heavy hit from the champagne bottle gripped in her fist. Fuck your New Year's Resolution.
She had always hated New Years. It was the pointless bringing in of a new year that would be no different from the last; people would still be assholes, Cerberus would still exist, and she would still be scarred, numb, and alone. The woman felt anger rise inside of her, and she clenched her jaw and took another hit from the bottle in an attempt to numb the pain. The champagne was good, and the most expensive bottle that Shepard could afford, but it still wasn't strong enough. She would likely have to drink three more to get as drunk as she wanted to; her biotics burned the alcohol off so quickly.
With a scowl, she drained the bottle and let it fall to the metal floor carelessly. Somehow it didn't shatter and her squadmates looked at her, a few with amusement, a few with confusion, and one in particular with disgust. Jack gave a low growl as the Cerberus Cheerleader looked at her with disdain, prompting the convict to give her the finger and mouth "fuck you." The raven haired woman just shook her head and turned her attention back to Jacob, who was already well on his way to being considerably drunk.
The convict turned her attention away from Miranda and looked about the room, taking in the happy couples around her. She frowned as she looked upon the various smiling faces. It seemed that everyone had someone, be it friend or lover; except her.
Shepard had her arm hooked around the waist of that Asari…what the hell was her name? Lana? Leandra? No…Liara; yeah that was her name. Shepard smiled at the aforementioned Asari, her cheeks flushing slightly at something that the woman had said. Jack growled and looked away. Miranda and Jacob seemed to be growing close again as well; the way the man had possessively wrapped his arm around Miranda's curvaceous waist spoke volumes. Tali and Garrus had grown considerably fond of each other; the Turian was following the Quarian wherever her shapely hips took her, his mandibles twitching rapidly whenever she so much as looked in his direction.
Thane and Samara were sitting together, speaking quietly about something. Even Zaeed had found someone to bring aboard the ship; some random woman from Omega, but it was still someone. Grunt was spending the holiday with Wrex back on Tuchanka. Mordin had retired to bed early, and Kasumi was nowhere to be found.
Jack trained her gaze back to the now empty bottle on the floor between her booted feet; without thinking, she took it back into her fist. "Everyone! The ball is about to drop!" Shepard shouted suddenly, her brilliant emerald eyes lighting up as she watched the screen with rapt attention. The large sphere was indeed about to make its decent, welcoming in the new year. The crowd gathered around it was growing restless, and the reporter was once again babbling on about how magical the event was, as if it wasn't something that happened every single fucking year. Jack's jaw clenched tightly. "Shepard, do we have to watch this fucking shit? How many of us, other than you, actually give a fuck about Earth traditions?"
The Commander looked at her with shock. "Jack, even if you've never been to Earth, you're still human. This doesn't mean anything to you?"
The convict scoffed, rolling her eyes at the other woman. "Fuck no."
Shepard frowned and opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it, letting her eyes drift back over to the screen. The group clustered to the screen in pairs, beginning the final countdown. Jack's scowl seemed to deepen with each number, her jaw clenched tight.
"10!"
"9!"
"8!"
"7!"
"6!"
"5!"
"4!"
Happy…
"3!"
Fucking…
"2!"
New Year…
"1!"
"Happy New Year!" The group chorused, before turning and kissing their partners. Some were taken by shock, others seemed a little too into it, and some could hardly be called kissing. Tali and Garrus were a good example of the last one; Garrus pressing his thin lips to Tali's helmet as the Quarian awkwardly draped her arms around his neck.
Jack gave a growl of anger and disgust, standing so fast that she nearly knocked her chair over. With a snarl and flaring of her biotics she hurled the empty champagne bottle at the humans celebrating and kissing on the screen, the glass projectile hitting it with an accelerated speed and exploding into shards."Happy fucking New Year!" She snarled, not caring that all eyes were on her. The convict stormed past the bar, grabbing a bottle of champagne and the last bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy as she thundered past the stunned group of her compatriots.
Shepard looked after her with concern, her arms still wrapped around Liara. "Jack! What's wrong?"
The convict didn't even turn to the look at the Commander as she spat her answer. "Fuck you Shepard! And fuck this stupid holiday." The crew members watched her tattooed back retreat around the corner and make her way into the elevator, her boots thunderously loud on the metal of the ship's floor.
…
Jack lay in her cot, in her little cubbyhole underneath the stairs on the 4th level. She brought the bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy to her full lips, savoring the liquor as it burned down her throat. The bottle was nearly empty, and she was slightly tipsy at this point, much to her satisfaction. She wasn't drunk enough to forget her pain or feel any less empty, or the image of the others, happy and kissing the people they cared about; but she was drunk enough to feel wonderfully warm and tingly all over.
The bottle was drained one swallow later, and she turned onto her side, letting the bottle fall from her grip and roll somewhere underneath her cot. She rested her head on her tattooed arms, trying to focus her thoughts elsewhere to forget that she was spending New Year's alone on a Cerberus frigate…but the damn knowledge wouldn't go away; nor would the image of a certain Commander's face.
Jack hated the woman. She was Cerberus…kinda. But she had helped her destroy that damn facility on Pragia, she had helped her escape from prison, she was always there, listening, caring, and watching out for the convict; when no one else did. She was…perfect.
Jack gripped her head with both hands. God damn it…why the hell did Shepard have to do this to her? Why the hell did Shepard have to make her care, make her feel again? Make her wish that they could've spent this stupid fucking holiday together? And instead she was upstairs kissing that Asari, and Jack was down in this dark fucking hole, alone and hoping to drink herself into a stupor so she could forget about everything.
The convict hadn't even realized that she had started crying until she felt the hot tears drip from the end of her nose and hit her heavily tattooed arms. "God damn it…" She sighed and wiped the tears from her eyes, the act only making more of the saline fluid flow from her chocolate eyes. A small sob broke her chest and she rubbed at her eyes more furiously.
"Jack? Are you okay?" No. No. Not that fucking voice; that husky, perfect voice coming from that caring, beautiful, perfect woman.
"Fuck off Shepard. I don't want to see anyone." Good, her voice didn't break. The convict wiped her eyes again, sniffing quietly and silently thanking that her back was to the Commander.
Shepard sighed and came over to Jack, sitting on her cot and speaking quietly and in a concerned tone. "Jack, why are you acting like this? Why do you hate New Years so much?"
Jack clenched her jaw, her emotions flowing out of her mouth faster than she could control, like water breaking from a dam. "Because Shepard. It's just another fucking year. It's not going to be any different than the last just because I make some stupid fucking resolution to fall in love, or stop killing people, or stop hating Cerberus, or stop eating chocolate, or whatever. It doesn't change a god damn thing," she paused, her voice rising with unrelenting emotion, "I'm still gonna hate Cerberus, I'm still gonna be a bitch, I'm still gonna want to kick Miranda in her big genetically modified ass, I'm still gonna hurt, and I'm still going to fucking do it all alone because no one fucking cares about me like I care about anyone else!"
Traitor tears were building up in her eyes again, and she blinked rapidly, willing them away. Her voice didn't crack, but she had said too much; way too much. Shepard was silent behind her, and it made her skin crawl.
After what felt like hours, the Commander finally spoke. "You think no one cares about you like you care about them?"
Jack chewed at her lower lip for a moment, mentally berating herself for showing so much emotion, yet she didn't denounce the Commander's question. "You can fucking hear, Shepard. I'm not repeating anything again."
Suddenly, a hand took her by her tattooed shoulder, rolling her onto her back before pulling her into a sitting position. Shepard's eyes were warm, and Jack looked away, knowing her face was red and her cheeks were streaked with tears. "Jack, what if I told you I care?"
The convict looked up at the other woman in shock, her eyes wide. An all too familiar anger replaced her shock, her eyes hardening again. "I…wouldn't believe you. You just fucking helped me because you need me for this little suicide mission. Now get the fuck out of here, go back to your girlfriend," She accentuated her command by jerking her chin toward the stairs, glaring at the Commander.
Shepard frowned. "Liara is not my girlfriend. We had something…before all this. But she's changed, become cold. I don't know why I kissed her. Just to see if I still felt anything I guess."
Jack said nothing, simply rolling her eyes.
"Plus, I've got someone else I care for. But she doesn't believe me. I guess I'll just have to give her the New Years kiss she missed."
Jack's eyes snapped back to the Commander's in shock, but she was met only with a gentle, yet passionate kiss which she happily returned after she recovered from her shock. Shepard pulled away after a moment to smile at the convict, "Do you believe that I care about you now?"
The convict said nothing, just nodded quickly, before kissing the Commander again. For the first time in a very long time, Jack was happy; and loved.