Hello! Here is my story that I use to dump all my really bad ideas. Rated T for cussing and other things that probably aren't appropriate for children and stuff. Also, this is basically a Sonic/Everything Else Ever crossover, but I dunno what category to put it in in the crossover section since there's too much to choose from, so I'll just leave it in the main section until I'm forced to move it or something like that. Also, being a crossover, there are sure to be a lot of really 'good' pairings, so I'm sure everyone should be hyped for that since that's like the most important thing in a Sonic fanfic from what I remember.

Basically, I don't remember almost anything about Sonic X, I'm reading episode summaries on Wikipedia and using the bare bones episode plot lines as skeletons to mold my awful vision over. Or, in other words, don't expect much actual similarity between the series and this story, this episode possibly an exception because I actually vaguely remember it.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Usual dealie with criticism being appreciated, flames and all that jazz being welcome, and all that good stuff.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of this crap.

"Hwohoho, what say you to THIS, Sonic?"

As Sonic The Hedgehog zoomed through Eggman's latest secret base, robots closed in around him from every side, a sight he was used to seeing. As they all fired on him simultaneously, what would be certain death by firing squad for anyone else became a simple exercise in dodging for the hedgehog, who actually began to dance his way through the fire in order to get on Eggman's nerves more.

"I'd say your robots need to learn to aim better, Eggman!" Sonic retorted, before curling up into a ball and using his signature homing attack to dispatch the robots one by one until there was nothing left in the area besides the hedgehog himself and Eggman's angry, sneering visage on the multitude of monitors that littered the walls of the compound.

"Ooh, you think you're so clever, but you won't have that smirk on your face for long, hedgehog!" Eggman said, laughing as he pushed a button on a control panel that was in front of him, causing all the doors in the complex to lock down, and a much larger robot than any of the previous ones to rise out of an opening on the ground, standing between Sonic and his destination. Spotting Eggman in the cockpit of the machine, Sonic's smirk didn't disappear at all, and only grew smugger if anything.

"Oh boy, another boss battle, eh Eggy?" Sonic said, folding his arms and giving Eggman a thoroughly unimpressed look. "You DO realize that out of the probably hundred or so times you've tried this, I always end up wrecking your machine and sending you running off to go lick your wounds until I show up to destroy your next one, right?"

Eggman shrugged his shoulders unaffectedly. "Well, you know what they say, if at first you don't succeed..." Eggman fired off a sudden barrage of missiles, hoping to catch Sonic off guard. "Try, try again!"

Sonic, however, merely stood in place, waiting for each of the missiles to approach him before effortlessly dodging every one of them.

"Geez Eggman, d'you think you could come up with a new attack?" Sonic said, yawning loudly. "I'm startin' to get tired of dodging the same stuff over and over again, it's almost enough to put me to sleep! Which is still a state I could avoid those things in, before you get any 'smart' ideas."

"You might want to be careful what you wish for, Sonic." Eggman said with a sneer, as he began to move the robot in Sonic's direction, swinging an electrified arm at him. Sonic dodged it easily, as well as the next few swings, jumping up and smacking Eggman's cockpit between every whiff.

"I said new attacks, Eggman!" Sonic derided, again looking at Eggman with boredom. "You might as well just bust your stupid little drill tank back out, if you're so insistent on using such hilariously ineffective attacks."

As Sonic was busy dodging Eggman's attacks, he didn't see the plane that was coming up behind him until he heard a familiar, annoying voice ring out from it, something he wasn't particularly pleased to hear at all.

"DON'T WORRY SONIC, WE'RE HERE TO HELP YOU!"

Turning around to glance at the source of the voice, Sonic was knocked to the side as Eggman launched a sucker punch against him while he was distracted.

"Ohohoho, what amazing friends you have, Sonic!" Eggman chuckled, locking his aim onto the plane as Sonic recovered. "Let me give them my thanks for their help in your place!"

"SONIC!" cried the voice once more, which belonged to the pink haired hedgehog that rode behind the plane's pilot, an orange furred fox who she shook from behind frantically. "Don't just sit there Tails, do something!"

"G-Gah, I'm trying Amy, but I can't do anything if you don't stop shaking my seat!" Tails said, turning his attention away to Amy momentarily enough for Eggman's missile attack to catch him by surprise, just barely being able to steer the plane out of the way to avoid a direct hit, causing the missile to explode into the wing instead. The now fiery plane began to head straight for a wall, Tails no longer able to control it. As Amy screamed in terror, Tails struggled frantically to get himself unhooked from the plane. As he finally did, he hopped out of his seat and grabbed Amy out of hers, but had seemingly no time to get the two of them out of harm's way before the plane collided with the wall. Thankfully for them, they were both grabbed from behind at the last moment by the ever so timely Knuckles, who glided the both of them to safety below.

"Knuckles!" Tails and Amy cried in pleasant surprise once they had made it to safety.

"Heh, I figured you two might need my help, so I followed behind you." Knuckles said, grinning at the awe-struck duo. "Looks like my intuition was right, as usual."

"Geez Knux, don't let it go to your head now." Sonic said from afar, rolling his eyes at his friend. "It's so tiny and cramped in there, you might not have room for it!"

Knuckles shot his 'friend' a look of annoyance. "Don't you have better things to be doing right now than giving me your pathetic insults?"

"Well, I was right about to kick Eggman's butt, but I kinda got distracted." Sonic said, glancing over at the flaming wreckage of Tails' plane, the Tornado II.

"Sorry, Sonic..." Tails said remorsefully, upset at the unnecessary mess he had caused. "Amy insisted we come after you to help, and I couldn't really talk her out of it. You know how she gets when she gets an idea in her head..."

"Hey, I'm right here, Tails!" Amy said, furrowing her brow at the fox. "And anyways, I was right, look at what that awful robot did to poor Sonic just now! He needs all the help he can get!"

"But he only got hit because you yelled at-" Tails began, before quickly deciding it was best for his heath not to finish his sentence after seeing the murderous glare Amy was giving him.

"Er, well, I appreciate your concern, guys, but I've got this one just about wrapped up." Sonic stated, turning his attention back to Eggman, who himself seemed to have gotten caught up in the group's bickering. "Time to end this, Eggman!"

"I agree, Sonic!" Eggman said, pressing a button that sent out a huge stream of missiles, ones which not only aimed for Sonic, but at his friends as well. Thinking quickly, Sonic hopped onto one of the missiles that was aiming for him, steering it at the group that was headed for his friends, then jumped from it to one of them, sending it harmlessly into the ground in the process. Now aboard the other group of missiles, Sonic did the same for each and every one of them, save for the last one, which he sent back Eggman's way. Unable to move the big, bulky mech out of the way in time, Eggman narrowly escaped from the cockpit before the missile blew it and the rest of the robot into smithereens.

Eggman scowled at Sonic from the safety of his little floating Eggmobile. "Grr, this isn't over, hedgehog!"

"I know it isn't, Eggbutt." Sonic said, pointing accusingly at him. "You know what I'm here for, so are you gonna hand them over, or are we gonna have to do this the hard way, like usual?"

"You should know better than to even have to ask that question, hedgehog!" Eggman replied, sneering at him as he pushed another button that opened all the doors back up, and then zipping down the hallway that lie directly behind the scrap metal that was his former mech.

"Of course, he always DID like it rough." Sonic stated, shaking his head and chuckling to himself, before zooming off after Eggman, his friends doing their best to keep up with and follow him.

Sonic quickly arrived in a large, spherical room, a room which contained the exact things he had come to the base to find.

"Mr. Sonic!" cried Cream, tears streaming down her face as she lay strapped into a sinister looking machine alongside her Chao friend, Cheese.

"Heh, sorry for the wait, Cream." Sonic said, flashing his trademark grin at the bunny. "But don't worry, I'll have you guys out of there faster than you can say 'Eggman smells'!"

"I'll have you know I take personal hygiene very seriously, Sonic, so I don't appreciate such outlandish slurs against my good name." came the unexpected response of Eggman, who now stood in front of an even more sinister looking machine, one which housed the seven legendary Chaos Emeralds.

"'Good name'?" Sonic repeated flatly, rolling his eyes. "The only thing good about your name is that it prevents me from calling you Robuttnik anymore, which now that I think about it, is kind of a tragedy, 'cause I miss calling you that! So simple, yet so classic. 'Eggbutt' just doesn't have the same ring to it..." Sonic shook his head mockingly in sorrow, before looking back up at Eggman with confidence. "Now, let Cream and Cheese go and hand over the Chaos Emeralds, unless you want to know intimately what these quills feel like sticking up your-"

"So sorry, Sonic, but I'm afraid I can only fulfill part of you 'request'." Eggman interrupted, grinning evilly at Sonic and the rest of his friends. "You can have the rabbit and her little pet, they've served their purpose. The Emeralds, however, I'm afraid will be staying with me. You see, I need them to power my new machine, and now that you're here, I can finally test it out. What a pleasant surprise for your little friends to have joined the party as well, it'll save me the time and effort of tracking them down myself. But, without further ado, BEHOLD!"

Flipping a switch on the machine, the Emeralds began to glow, faintly at first, but quickly building up to the point where Sonic and his friends, and even Eggman himself, had to shield their eyes from them.

"W-What IS that thing?!" Amy cried, turning away from the now blinding glow that was emanating from the machine.

"I-I've seen this before... B-But not to this degree..." Tails replied, stuttering as the machine began to give off an incredible amount of power that was making it hard from the heroes to even stand up. "I-It looks like..."

"...C-Chaos Control..." Knuckles finished darkly, as he gritted his teeth and tried valiantly to stay on his feet.

"Th-That's right, m-my furry little n-nuisances..." Eggman gloated, though even he seemed to be getting affected by the machine at this point. "O-Once I p-p-press this button, you'll all b-be history, and I'll be f-f-free to rule this planet as I s-s-see fit, without h-having to w-worry about any more interference f-from you meddling f-fools!"

"A-Ah! M-Mr. Sonic, d-d-d-do something!" Cream cried, still strapped and trapped to the other machine.

"Ch-Ch-Chao, chao!" added Cheese, who was in just as much distress as his owner.

"I-It's t-t-t-too late, S-Sonic!" Eggman declared, the room beginning to quake so much that the sturdy, metal walls and ceiling were beginning to break apart. "S-S-Say goodbye, h-hedgehog!"

"N-N-No, s-stop, E-Eggman!" Sonic cried, as he tried his hardest to reach the madman in time before he could push the machine's singular, big, red button. Due to the machine's awesome, radiating power, however, he couldn't move at all, let alone run, and he could do little more than watch on in horror with the rest of his friends as Eggman's hand slammed against the button, causing the machine to start humming and glowing even brighter, eventually growing so bright that the entire room became engulfed in nothing but a stark, blinding whiteness. Sonic and his friends slowly slipped out of consciousness, their collective last sight before passing out being Eggman's vile, sneering look of triumph.

Meanwhile, somewhere else...

A shadowy figure sat in a lonesome, singular chair, the picture that emanated from the large monitor in front of him being the only source of light within the cramped little room of unknown origin. To his side, there floated a much smaller shadowy figure, and as the picture on the monitor changed to show a blindingly bright white hole opening up in space, high above the clouds, with numerous tiny, brightly colored objects spilling out of it, the smaller figure spoke triumphantly in a high-pitched, feminine tone to the figure seated to her right.

"It has begun, Master."

The seated figure, staring lazily at the monitor, couldn't help but let out a smug chuckle of accomplishment, grinning broadly as the multi-colored objects disappeared below the cloud line. Soon after, the figure snapped his finger, and immediately, an entire wall of smaller monitors lit up and whirred to life around the large, central one, each one seemingly following the trajectory of the objects, one per monitor, as they each careened towards the Earth.

The man's grin was illuminated eerily in the glow of the monitors, his slow chuckle soon turning into a mad cackle, which itself soon turned into a fit of hacking coughs, drawing a worried expression from the smaller figure.

"Master, please try not to choke on your own spittle again, you know I had an awful time trying to administer the Heimlich Maneuver last time..."

The seated figure, once his coughing fit had subsided, grumbled irritably under his breath. "Yeah, yeah..." He quickly changed his expression back to his previous one, however, minus the insane laughter. "But yes, finally, at long last, my beautiful plan has been set into motion... All the anger, all the frustration, it will all have been worth it in the end... Sure, my last four or five or whatever attempts may have gone a little awry, but ohoho, not this time... This time, nothing is going to stand in my way! I have planned every single little last thing to perfection, and now all I have to do is sit back and watch all the pieces fall into place! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha! And then, soon enough, EVERYONE will be singing! They will ALL be singing the song of victory! The song of glory! The song of JUSTICE! Just as you foretold!"

The smaller figure sighed and waited until her superior finished his next coughing fit, knowing it would be futile to do otherwise, before voicing her concerns.

"Well, yes, but you know how things have a way of... 'Diverging', Master..."

Rather than the scowl she was expecting, the smaller figure was given another smug grin instead.

"Oh yes, of course, I would be a fool to expect otherwise at this point." the figure said, shaking his head and letting out an involuntary sigh of disgust. "But rest assured, my dear, that I am prepared for anything this time around, and I do mean ANYTHING." Seeing the continued look of doubt on his subordinate's face, the figure scoffed and rolled his eyes before continuing. "And besides, even if the impossible happens and all else fails, I still have 'him' as my insurance policy... So please, try and enjoy yourself for once, would you? There ain't gonna be no complications this time, you know that better than I do, after all! Right?"

Opening her mouth to say something, the smaller figure instead bit her lip, taking a moment before nodding curtly to her 'master'. "...Of course, Master..."

"Yeah, that's more like it!" the seated figure stated, happy at his subordinate's compliance. "...But jeez, it wouldn't kill you to smile a little every now and then, y'know."

Rolling her eyes as he looked away, the smaller figure replied, giving him a small, sarcastic smirk in 'compliance'. "Whatever you say, Master..."

Not noticing his subordinate's gesture, the figure turned his attention back towards the monitor wall, eyes darting from one to the next with a schoolgirlish glee. "Right, well, anyways... It looks like the show is about ready to begin, my dear, so hows about you go grab us some popcorn and a couple of cold ones and then kick back, relax, and watch the bloody, sweaty, tear-soaked cocoon of our efforts hatch into a beautiful butterfly of success, triumph, and victory?"

"Only if you promise not to use any more terrible euphemisms tonight, Master." the smaller figure groaned, floating out of the room to go fulfill her orders.

Leaning back in his chair, the figure smiled in contentment. "This is gonna be rad."

"Oh my god, what is it?!"

"Good lord, the aliens have landed! We're all doomed!"

"No, no, you dumbass, that's one o' them... Whatchamacallits, one o' those Packymans!"

"What's that? A Packers Fan? Can we dump it in the ocean and hope the sharks take to it?"

"God no, you're all idiots. First of all, they're called Pokemans, not Packymans, and second of all, that ain't no Pokeman, I should know because I'm what you'd call your basic expert on the things. I actually ordered one straight from Japan a week ago, something called a Bidoof, which sounds fierce as hell. It should be arriving any day now actually, and then no one is gonna screw with me anymore."

"What are you even going on about? What does any of that have to do with THIS thing? Can we throw YOU in the ocean instead?"

"Oh man... What is that awful racket...?"

Sonic was beginning to come to, being awoken by a cacophony of loud horns, sirens, and overlapping voices. Opening his eyes, he was immediately startled at the huge crowd of people that were gathered around him.

"OH GOD, IT'S ALIVE!"

"Ew, it's a double-pupiled cyclopian bobcat!"

"Moron, it's OBVIOUSLY a porcupine, bobcats don't have spines."

"Bobcats aren't blue either, and neither are porcupines! How do you explain that?"

"Obviously it escaped from some kind of horrible lab where they tested volatile hair dye on it, the poor, hideous thing."

Taking a look at his surroundings, Sonic was alarmed as he realized he had no clue where he was, nor how he had gotten there. He appeared to be in the middle of a road, holding up traffic on both sides as the huge crowd of people around him kept growing and growing. Picking himself up off the ground, Sonic glanced around at the onlookers who surrounded him, folding his arms and giving them all an irritated look once he realized they were all staring at him like he was some kind of freak.

"What, haven't you guys ever seen a hedgehog before?" he chided, eliciting gasps from those near him.

"IT TALKS!"

"I want one, mommy!"

"Someone needs to kill it before it tries to eat our children!"

Sonic looked in stupefied disbelief at the crowd, which suddenly began to part as a particularly persistent siren became louder and louder, a cop car eventually stopping in front of him.

"All right everyone, let's break it up, there isn't anything to see here." came the loud, megaphone amplified voice of the person who got out of the cop car; a short, stocky black woman with her hair in a bun who was dressed like a typical beat cop.

"Nothing to see?! Are you crazy, Shirley?! Just what do you call that thing?!" shouted one of the onlookers angrily, prompting all the rest of them to agree with him.

"I don't know, but all you fools need to back up and let the police do their job, you don't want me to start having to arrest people, do you?" Officer Shirley said sternly over the megaphone, which only seemed to exacerbate the crowd even further. "Oh good grief..." she muttered to herself, getting back in her car to grab her radio. "Dispatch, this is car 34, requesting immediate backup to my location. You can't miss it, just follow the traffic jam. Oh, and you may wanna bring the riot gear, there's some freaky little blue animal lookin' thing standin' in the middle of the road, and there's a crowd of idiots around it workin' themselves into a frenzy over the damn thing. It looks pretty harmless, but this crowd sure as hell doesn't."

"Er, roger that, Shirley." came the crackly, bewildered sounding reply of the dispatch over Shirley's radio. "I think I misheard some things, but ten-four one the backup and the riot gear."

"Thanks Bob, and no, you didn't mishear anything." Shirley said, putting her radio back and stepping back out of her car, to see that another car had parked next to her's; a sleek black mid-90's sedan with black tinted windows that prevented anything inside it from being seen. Standing at the rear of it were two men; one a taller, skinnier black man, the other a shorter, older white man, both of them wore plain black suits with white shirts and black ties, and curiously, they also both wore sunglasses with black reflective lenses much like the car's windows, even though it was the middle of the night. Both of them seemed to have their gazes fixated on Sonic, who seemed less than thrilled with all the attention he was getting.

"Uh, can I ask what you two gentlemen think you're doing?" Shirley asked, not pleased at all that the men had encroached on her police scene.

"Not to worry ma'am, we're from Pest Control." the older man said in a slightly southern accent, as he and the other man simultaneously pulled out badges and quickly put them back before Shirley had a chance to study either of them. "There's been a nasty, freak infestation of deadly Zanzabarian Hamsters spotted in this area, and we've been appointed by the state of California to help take care of it."

"Zanzabarian Hamsters?" Shirley repeated, raising her eyebrow and folding her arms. "I've never heard of such a thing in my life!"

"Then I'll bet you also didn't know that the venom that they spew can eat through a person's body like a hot knife through butter." the taller man claimed. "And if there's one thing that a Zanzabarian Hamster hates more than anything else, it's crowds. In fact, the very sight of a crowd can set off a Zanzabarian Hamster's berserk button so badly, that it may start spraying its venom in a rapid fire motion not at all unlike a lawn sprinkler."

The crowd finally began to back up a bit, as it started going into an entirely different sort of panic.

Sonic, meanwhile, had had just about enough of the lunacy that he had somehow awoken to.

"Are you guys seriously callin' me a hamster?" Sonic said in annoyance to the two men, both of whom merely looked emotionlessly at each other briefly in response. "Listen, I don't know what the deal is with all of you weirdos, but I'll make it as clear to you as I possibly can. I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog. Not a hamster. Not a porcupine. Not a... Porkyman, or whatever the heck that was someone called me earlier. I'm a HEDGE-HOG. And I think it's time for me to jet, I have better things to do than stand here and be gawked at like I'm some kind of freaky alien!"

"Now hold on there just a minute, partner." the older man began, reaching forward towards Sonic, who instinctively backed away. "We just wanna help you, no need to go runnin' off to who knows where, freakin' everyone out along the way. It gives us more work, and that's the one thing we don't need, alright son?"

"Help him? I thought you said he was some sort of deadly, dangerous beast?" Shirley asked accusingly, giving the two men a skeptical look. "Who are you guys, really? Because I have half a mind to-"

"Like I said ma'am, we're with Pest Control." the older man reiterated, though neither Shirley nor anyone else in the crowd seemed particularly convinced anymore. "This really is a Zanzabarian Hamster, and as you can plainly tell, he's out of his god damn gourd. We just wanna help him so that he can blend back in with the rest of his kind without them thinkin' he's some sort o' plumb fool."

"The hamster. You're serious." Shirley said dryly, still not at all convinced by the men's story.

"Yes ma'am." the older man said, still deathly serious in his tone of voice. "Zanzabarian Hamsters have an intricate and complicated society that closely mirrors our own. You should really read up on it some time, it's fascinatin' like you wouldn't even believe."

Shirley gave the man another skeptical look, clearly not buying anything that was coming out of his mouth. "There's a lot of things that I don't really believe right now, Mister..."

"K." the man stated.

"Mr. K." Shirley repeated. "Now, I have half a mind to arrest the both of you for impersonation, Mr. K, unless one of you can prove that what you're saying is the truth. And I don't mean 'flash your little badges for a half a second', I mean REAL, actual proof that you're from 'Pest Control' and that that... Thing is some sort of hamster. Because right now, I'm more inclined to believe it than either of you turkeys."

The two men gave each other another silent glance before turning back to to Shirley and the crowd, both of them pulling an identical object out of their coat pockets.

"Alright, just calm your britches now, there ain't gonna be no need to do anything foolish like that." K said, holding the silver, pen-like object in his hand up for Shirley to see, the other man doing the same for the crowd. "Now, just take a reeeeeeeeal close look at this thing, and you'll get all the answers you need."

"From that thing?" Shirley asked incredulously. "What kind of crap have you been-"

Suddenly, a blindingly bright flash of light not unlike the one that had been caused by the Chaos Control emanated from the two men's sticks, though they only lasted a brief second. Sonic, in typical fashion, made it a point to look in the complete opposite direction of the sticks, closing his eyes for good measure. When he looked back, however, the sight he saw was... Unexpected.

"Everyone, you can get back in your cars now, the test is over." the taller man said to the crowd of people, who now all looked ahead silently, vapid, vacant expressions in their eyes, as if none of them were actually 'there'.

"Officer, we wanna thank you again for helpin' us organize this little event, and we wanna commend you again for your EXCELLENT response time." K exclaimed, shaking Officer Shirley's hand vigorously, although it seemed to be a rather one-sided handshake, as Shirley had the same far-off look in her eye as the rest of the crowd. "Rest assured, if a tornado really does touch down here, we have the utmost fate that you'll lead these people to safety. We'll be headin' back now, so y'all enjoy the rest of this fine evenin'. Let's go, Sparky."

K and the other man headed towards their car, the rest of the crowd still standing around, spaced out something fierce. They both looked back at Sonic expectantly, who by this point had had MORE than enough weirdness for one day.

"I don't know what your guys' deal is, but I've wasted enough time here, I've gotta go look for my friends to see if they're okay, and then figure out just where in the heck I am!"

"J, you idiot, didn't you flash 'im?" K asked his colleague irritably at the sound of Sonic's voice.

"What? Nah, man, I thought YOU were gonna flash him!" J responded, returning his partner's irritated look.

K slapped himself on the forehead and shook his head into his hand. "Oh, for the love of..."

K got back out of the car, slamming the door shut angrily, with J following suit, and the two slowly made their way towards Sonic.

"Alright Blue, don't try anything funny, just come with us and we'll get everything sorted out all nice and neat and you can get on with your life." K said, still creeping closer and closer to Sonic, some sort of ray gun looking thing now pointed at him.

"Oh gee, you make it sound so inviting..." Sonic said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and shaking his head mockingly at the two men. "But no thanks, I gotta jet!"

With that, Sonic sped off, leaving the two men in the dust staring at his blue trail.

"DAYUM, he's a speedy little sombitch, ain't he?" J said in awe as he and K rushed back to their car.

"I'll take speedy over most other things any day of the week." K replied, pushing a button inside the car that caused it to start transforming into a much more futuristic looking version of itself. "Like Zanzabarian Hamster acid, for instance. Stuff's impossible to get out of a carpet."

Jay looked at his partner dumbstruck as the car roared to life, going from zero to about five-hundred in less than a second. "You mean those things are real, man?!"

"I'm sure you'll have lots of fun with them if you ever get an assignment in Zanzabarland." K replied, focusing intently on the road ahead of him as he searched for Sonic trail, zooming in and out of all the traffic in front of him in a terrifyingly erratic way. Soon enough, they had caught up to Sonic, who was speeding along down a long, empty stretch of highway.

"Aw, didja miss me that much?" Sonic said in bemusement once he saw the car speeding behind him. "Sorry, but I don't accept rides from strangers!"

"Please pull over to the side of the road, we mean you no harm." K shouted, using a built-in megaphone that jutted out of the car's roof. "We're on your side, and we just want to help you. Nothing more."

"Yo, I know that sounds hella fishy, especially comin' from two dudes that look the way we do, but honestly man, it's the truth!" J added, trying to sound less creepy than his partner in hopes that he'd get through to the hedgehog.

"The last time someone told me they were here to help, I ended up getting pounded, so excuse me if I don't quite believe you!" Sonic said. "Also, you guys were trying to convince people that I was a hamster, so something tells me you aren't the most trustworthy fellas around!"

"Oh, come on now, don't make us have to hurt you." K stated, his voice growing noticeably irritable again. "It's always so much nicer when we don't have to scrape ijits off the windshield."

"Yeesh, you're tellin' me." J said. "'Cause they always end up getting on my side, and then I have to ride home all the way with that crap staring me in the face, sometimes literally!"

"Come on son, you don't wanna do this. Just come with us peacefully, everything will be okay!"

Sonic grinned back at the two nonchalantly. "If you had a chili dog for me, it might be a different story, but since you don't..."

"Oh lord, what is it with these freaky animals and food?" K muttered to himself in disdain. "First it was the pizzas with those turtles up in New York, then it was everything BUT pizzas with those sharks in that Fission City dump..."

"Oh yeah, because eating pizza and chili dogs makes you a real freak, K." J deadpanned, shaking his head at his partner's strange irritation.

"Just get ready to catch this sucker." K said, handing J another strange looking gun from the backseat of the car before speeding up even further, enough to catch up with Sonic so that he was right by the passenger side window.

"Last chance Blue, either you pull yourself over now or I hope you like the sensation of having your body turned into anti-matter and back again. And here's a hint for you, nobody does."

"Hmmmmm... Tough choice..." Sonic flashed another cocky grin, then shook his head. "But I think I'll go with Option C. Like always."

Before either of the men could do anything, Sonic had blasted off at the speed of light, leaving the car behind in an instant.

"Hot damn, I haven't seen one with speed like that since I was a rookie!" K exclaimed, staring after Sonic's slowly disappearing trail in genuine admiration, though he quickly remembered this was not a good thing and slammed his fist into the dashboard appropriately.

"Uh, K?" J said suddenly, a tone of urgency in his voice, as he pointed frantically at the quickly approaching lack of road where the construction work ended. "K, we're runnin' out of road, man!"

Slamming both feet on the brakes, the car stopped on a dime, right at the end of the road, the car's nose and front wheels teetering over the edge precariously.

"...K, man, you know, I don't think that dude's going to hurt anyone." J said after a few moments of silence, trying to calm his partner down.

"Don't care. He's a smart mouthed sumbitch and I don't like him."

"Oh, come on, you said the same thing about me when we first met, and look at us now!"

"That opinion hasn't changed in the slightest."

"Ah, geez, man... You know, what you need is something to eat, to calm those frazzled nerves."

"...What do you have in mind?"

"I was thinking chili dogs."

"Don't make me slug you, son."

"Man, it's been a while since someone's tried chasin' me like that." Sonic said to himself, as he soared through the air, having launched himself over the edge of the highway by accident, not realizing the road was about the end before he let loose with his burst of super sonic speed. He couldn't help but grin at the thrill it gave him. "We'll have to do that again sometime."

Staring ahead of him, Sonic was able to get a perfect view of the city that he was in, a seaside community that seemed to be the perfect kind of place for Sonic. In the distance, he could make out a boardwalk carnival, some sort of skate park, a huge, stretching beach that seemed to go on for miles, and an empty swimming pool. Only, that last one wasn't in the distance at all but rather directly below him, as he was now careening towards the earth at a rapid pace, much to his absolute horror. Despite his efforts, there wasn't much he could do at this point except make the horrible landing, so he curled himself up into a ball and braced for impact as best he could.

He landed with a resounding crash, like a cannonball smashing through the hull of a ship, and he hit the concrete swimming pool so hard, he actually imbedded himself within it, causing a huge crack to spread from either side of the hole he had created and filled. Unfortunately for Sonic, the landing was not a pleasant one at all, and for the second time that day, he had been knocked unconscious.

"Dudes, what was that?!"

Despite it being the middle of the night, a group of four preteen children, three boys and one girl, were still up, wide awake in the backyard of the house next door, taking turns skateboarding on a half pipe that was set up in the yard.

"W-Was that a meteor?!" whimpered one of the boys, a bespectacled blonde haired boy wearing a yellow shirt who was far paler than the rest of the kids.

"A meteor? That sounds gnarly!" one of the other boys, a red haired, tanned lad wearing a helmet and goggles said in excitement. "Come on, let's go check it out!"

"Wait Otto, you know dad doesn't like it when we sneak into the neighbors' yard at night." said the lone girl of the group, who was far taller than any of the boys and had wavy purple hair.

"So? Dad doesn't like it when we do anything, what's the big deal?" Otto replied, rolling his eyes and flapping his lips at his sister. "Don't be such a shoebie, Reggie!"

Reggie shook her head and groaned in disapproval at her brother. "Man, I just know dad's gonna kill us for this..."

"G-Guys, I don't know about this, what if it has some kind of alien virus attached to it?" said the blonde haired kid nervously. "We might be exposing ourselves to something horrible!"

"Whoa, you mean like, it might turn us into ZOMBIES?" said the fourth kid, a freckled, hat wearing Latino boy who was holding an expensive looking camcorder. "SICK, dudes! Let's get over there already!"

"Yeah, that's the spirit, Twister!" Otto said, grinning at his friend as the two were already over the fence into the neighbors' yard. "If Sam and Reg wanna be a couple of lame-o's, then let 'em be! They'll know what they're missing!"

Letting out another annoyed grunt, Reggie looked at Sam, who looked back at her in exasperation, before shrugging and giving in to the other boys' suggestion, not wanting them to consider him a 'lame-o'. Walking over to the fence, Reggie first helped Sam over, than hopped over herself, watching carefully to make sure the neighbors weren't awake and marching outside to see what the noise was, although she was unsure how they COULDN'T be seeing as how loud it had been.

Sam and Reggie quickly joined the other two boys in the middle of the swimming pool, where they both were bent down, staring and poking at something.

"Oh man, the old dude's going to be so mad when he sees this!" Otto said with an unnecessary amount of glee.

"Yeah, but we're also not going to be able to skate here anymore, not with that giant fault line splitting it in half." Sam proclaimed, his shoulders slumping.

"Who cares? We have plenty of other places to skate, what's really important is this blue thing!" Otto said, pointing to the round, blue, hairy object that was wedged in the crack in the pool. "Like, what the heck IS this thing?!"

"Well, there's only one way to find out." Reggie said, prompting her and the other kids to form a train, pulling on the object until it had popped out of the hole, where it promptly unfurled itself from the ball it had been curled up into.

"HOLY COW!" Otto exclaimed at the sight of the strange blue creature that lay before him. "IT'S AN ALIEN!"

"Otto, shut up, you're gonna wake everyone up!" Reggie scolded, though she too seemed mystified by the blue creature.

"Twist, you gettin' this on camera?!" Otto asked excitedly, ignoring his sister's words.

"Totally, bro!" Twister said, as he had already backed up a distance from the object and was fervently filming it from all angles with his camcorder.

"G-G-G-Guys, w-we should call the police, or the FBI, or something, for all we know this thing could be a vicious, ruthless, killing machine!" Sam stuttered, on the verge of wetting himself with fear as opposed to being excited about the discovery like the others.

"No WAY, Squid, this is our discovery, we can't be letting a bunch of shoebies come in and take it away!" Otto said, shaking his head vehemently.

"W-What if it's still alive, though? We can't keep something like THIS in any of our houses, our parents would have a fit!" Sam said, still not wanting anything to do with the creature.

"Stop being such a wimp, Squid!" Otto reprimanded. "Though, you're probably right about the 'not being able to keep this in any of our houses' part... But hey, I know the PERFECT place for it! Come on, help me get it to our bikes before the old dude gets out here and ruins everything!"

Obliging with Otto, although Sam very reluctantly, the group carefully picked the creature up, got it out of the pool, and carried it over to their bikes, where Otto placed it in front of him as he began to ride, leading the group down to the pier, to a small, homey, though currently closed little restaurant called the 'Shore Shack'.

"Yo dad, dad, come here!" Otto called out once he and the others had arrived, lifting the creature from his bike and quickly carrying it behind the counter before anyone else could lay eyes upon it.

"Yeah, yeah, hold your horses, you damn kids..."

Out from the back stepped a rather odd looking man, odd in that while he wore attire typical to the location, including a Hawaiian shirt, fisherman's hat, cargo shorts, and flip-flops, he wore it over a skin tight, dark blue and red full body suit, even his face was covered by a mask. Following close behind him was a large, imposing, mountain of a man, an extremely muscular white haired dude who seemed to be half robot, with one of his arms being completely cybernetic and one of his eyes being a red lens rather than an actual eye. Together, these two looked not at all like people who would be associated with a such an establishment, or children, for that matter.

"Alright, what did you little ingrates do this time?" the suited man said in annoyance. "And one of you twerps better call me by my name so that I don't have to be referred to as 'the suited man' anymore, because that just sounds plain creepy."

"You ARE just plain creepy, though." the white haired man said flatly. "DAMN creepy."

"I wasn't talking to YOU, Cable, I was talking to the little bastards over here." the suited man snapped. "And damn it, good job calling me by my name, ya shmuck!"

"Dad, er, I mean, Dadpool, we were out sk-er, I mean, we were sleeping when we heard this HUUUUUUGE crash come from the neighbo-I mean, OUR yard, and so we went out to check, and we found THIS thing!" Otto explained in a rush, before his father could go off on another tangent.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that, I wasn't going to listen to you anyways!" Dadpool chirped, chuckling to himself. "But hey, that certainly is a completely normal and ordinary looking cat you guys got there! Why the hell'd you bring it all the way out here for?"

"Because, it's not a cat, Dadpool, it's an ALIEN! ...Or something." Otto said. "And Sam and Twister's parents won't let them keep it, and I know you don't want pets or whatever in the house, so I figured we could keep it here, since no one's ever here at night anyways, and during the day we can take it with us to go on bodacious adventures!"

"Ugh, and have it shed its nasty cat hair all over the food?" Dadpool said, scrunching up his nose in disgust. "Don't you even read 'Garfield'? NOBODY likes cathair burgers, it's not a pleasant condiment at all! What, do you want to run me out of business or something? Geez louise, what idiot raised you to be so incredibly stupid? And no, I know it wasn't Frank Stallone, so don't even TRY to fool me with that again!"

The kids all looked at each other in confusion, a common occurrence when speaking to Dadpool.

"But, er, Dadpool, it's NOT a cat, it like, barely has any hair on it at all! ...Practically... Kinda... Sorta... Mostly..." Otto said, trailing off into mumbles with every word. "Aw, come ooooooon, can't we keep it here, at least until it wakes up? Pleeeeeeeeease?"

As the other three kids joined in with Otto's begging, Dadpool folded his arms and scoffed.

"Gosh, I didn't get to become this good of a parent by listening to and granting every single one of your silly little wishes. I didn't get everything I wanted when I was little, you know. I never got my pony! I always wanted a pony! WHEN DO I GET MY PONY?!"

At the sound of the word 'pony', Cable seemed to flinch, cringing worse with every utterance of the word.

"Damn it Dadpool, I told you not to say that word around me." he said in anger, giving Dadpool a look that would send chills up the spine of an ordinary person. Which Dadpool of course was not even close to. Dadpool merely rolled his eyes in response and waved his hand in a 'pshaw' motion.

"Yeah, yeah, you and your crappy future ruled by girly little technicolor horses, who've enslaved all of humanity and mutantity and everythingelseity and forced everyone to be friends with one another, leaving you as a sole survivor ultra badass blah blah blah coming back in time to saaaaaaave the woooooooorld and all the rest of that dumb crap." Dadpool let out an unappreciative yawn. "You know, I just don't see anything wrong with a world where I get to bake and eat delicious cupcakes each and every day. I LOVE cupcakes! You never bake me any cupcakes, Cable! Some friend you are, you big fat jerk!"

"God, just shut the hell up and scold your children, already." Cable said with a scowl, turning away from Dadpool to go brood in a corner.

"Oh right, I knew I was forgetting something." Dadpool said, turning his attention back to the kids and giving them a very stern, fatherly look. Which they couldn't see because of his mask. "Now son... Er, what where we talking about again?"

"You... You were telling us how you were going to let us keep this blue thing here at the Shore Shack." Otto said, coughing and smiling far too innocently at Dadpool, as well did the other three.

"...Oh, yeah, right, whatever." Dadpool said after a moment's contemplation, waving his hand boredly and pointing with his thumb to the freezer. "Go ahead and stick it in there, it shouldn't get freezer burn or anything, at least not as bad as those fish sticks I bought last week... Speaking of which, good news, kids! I got you all some nice cod flavored popsicles, because I love you so much! My own children, I mean. That'd just be wrong if I loved you other dweebs at all. But you two can have some too, because I'm just that damn generous! Just uh, go ahead and grab the whole box on your way out, it's the one with the picture of the salty looking fisherman on it, and no, I didn't spell popsicle wrong, it ALWAYS has a k in it."

"AWRIGHT!" the kids all shouted in extreme exuberance, doing a quad high five in celebration. Opening the freezer door with his manly strength, Cable took the liberty of throwing the creature in there for them, as while he was intrigued by the creature at first, he just didn't care at that point because Dadpool had salted his feelings so much. He did make sure to grab the box of 'popsickles' on the way out though, before slamming the door shut behind him and locking it so no one could get in or out.

"Now it's time to go home and conveniently forget about that dumb blue thing until five or six months from now when it's relevant to the plot!" Dadpool said happily, hopping on the back of Otto's bike while Cable hopped on the back of Reggie's. "Better yet, WRESTLING'S ON TONIGHT! Who do you got in the main event, Cabes?"

"Shut up, Dadpool."

Hope you enjoyed it! Next episode should be up sometime in the next century, I think.