Title: Fragment
Author: Cindy Ryan
Spoilers: 'For Warrick'
Summary: Just when you thought you were coping…something sneaks up and reminds you. Nick centered.
Notes: I haven't ready any post premiere fanfic yet so apologies if this has been done but I couldn't resist it.
He thought he was fine.
He thought he was handling it.
Nick Stokes saw death every day. It was part of his life.
It paid for the roof over his head.
It paid for the food in his fridge.
However when it touched his family he grieved like everyone else.
Coped like everyone else.
So why was it after a run of the mill murder of a twenty year old female college student that Nick found his hands shaking.
Maybe it was because she'd been found dead in her car.
Shot.
Blood spatter everywhere.
Nick had barely been able to hold the camera still long enough to take the photos.
He knew Greg had noticed.
Now long after his shift Nick sat in a sports bar trying to focus on the college foot ball game that was on the plasma on the opposite wall.
He wasn't seeing it.
Couldn't tell you who was playing.
The images on the screen blurred with his tears as he struggled to blink them away.
Nick emptied the shot glass allowing the whiskey to burn its way down his throat before he motioned the bartender over for a refill.
The whiskey didn't dull the pain as much as he had hoped but it helped.
The bartender refilled the glass.
This time he left the bottle.
Nick swallowed another shot and stared blankly once again at the tv.
His family was fragmented without Warrick and Nick didn't know how to fix it.
When Nick didn't answer his cell Catherine knew something was wrong.
She'd suspected when Nick had moved through the rest of his shift barely speaking.
But then he'd been quiet since they'd lost Warrick.
Too quiet.
On her way out of the lab Catherine and passed Greg and he had filled her in on the Lambert murder.
With how busy they were these days Catherine didn't know all the cases the lab was handling.
But with what Greg told her it was enough for her to do a double take.
If Nick had been the one processing…..
As soon as she'd gotten out of the lab Catherine had tried Nick's cell.
He'd always answered when she called.
No matter what.
No matter what time.
When the call went to voice mail she tried again as she got into her SUV. As Catherine pulled out into traffic she knew she had no real reason to worry.
It'd been over a month since Warrick's murder.
Nick had gone through the grieving process as they all had.
But Catherine realized now he'd never really talked about it.
Catherine hit redial as she stopped at a red light. Nick's same friendly voicemail answered her and she hung up placing the phone on the passenger seat.
As soon as the light changed Catherine pulled a U-turn and headed toward some of her friends favorite haunts.
She could only hope her instincts were wrong.
Nick picked up the half empty bottle and poured another glass. The bartender glanced at him and Nick dug out his wallet and placed another twenty on the bar.
The bartender took the money and moved toward new customers at the other end.
Nick sighed as he fingered the glass in front of him. McKeen's smug face danced in front of his mind's eye. Part of Nick wished he would've shot the bastard….saved the tax payers some money.
Would've been justice for his friend.
Nick swallowed the whiskey and shook his head at the last thought.
Justice?
No justice.
His best friend…..his family…..his brother had been murdered by one of their own.
Someone who was supposed to serve and protect.
The color red worked it's way into Nick's drunk consciousness and he realized too late what the memory was.
One that he tried to shove to the deepest part of his mind.
One that was always there lurking just below the surface.
Grissom's shirt covered in Warrick's blood…..drenched in it.
Nick took one rapid shot after another nearly emptying the bottle as he tried to forget.
Finally emptying the bottle Nick rested his chin on his folded forearms on the bar and stared at the glass.
Three blocks from the strip Catherine finally spotted Nick's car. She pulled into the empty spot next to it.
Entering the bar Catherine quickly saw her friends slumped against the bar empty bottle next to him.
Catherine sighed sadly as she walked over to Nick. She turned to the bartender catching the young man's attention.
"How much has he had?"
The man nodded at the bottle. "Just that."
Thankful for small favors Catherine sat on the empty bar stool and gently nudged her friend. "Nicky?"
Bleary brown eyes turned towards her. "Cath?"
Catherine hopped down off the stool and gently took his arm urging him into an upright position. "Yeah, Nicky, it's me."
"Wanna drink?"
"I think you've had enough."Catherine replied as she eased him off the barstool. "Come on, I'll take you home."
"Cath?"Nick called once his feet were on solid ground.
Catherine looked over at him as she eased her arm around his shoulders.
"Miss him, Cath."Nick stated his voice barely audible over the noise of the other patrons.
Catherine blinked away her tears as she focused on getting both of them out the door. "So do I, Nicky. So do I. Every day."
end