It was another epis- day in the Fuedal Era and the only real priestess in the whole sho-; you know whom I am talking 'bout was surprisingly not walking in the forest.
Really.
No, really, she does not spend her whole life in the forest.
Anyway, Kikyo was walking, with her two paper friends beside her. Suddenly a thought came to her head.
"Why can't I be the main character?"
"My lady," paper friend no. 1 said, "You are the reason-"
"Yes, I know, I've been told, a miko bound the hanyou to a tree for fifty years only to woken by her reincarnation. You don't know how many times I've heard that story."
Now her two paper friends were startled.
"What's wrong with my back-story? Kagome doesn't seem to have one!"
That was not a bad point; our favorite miko has a very interesting tragic love story of a background.
"Are you actually going to rant about her?
"You never rant about her."
It was strange how the two paper things talked as if they had a script.
"Some people think I'm a sad, dead person mourning over Inuyasha, trying to kill or steal him, you know what? I really wish people would stop associating me with him!
"He'sthe one who can't keep up a relationship!"
The shikigami nodded. The priestess suddenly gasped and a light flashed over her head.
"What if I find some interesting side characters?"
Therefore, Kikyo's not so lonely journey began.
Because the Kikyo-tachi was tired after so very, very, very, about too many attempts to kill Naraku, they decided to think of some interesting other people they could make a visit to.
"Lady Kikyo, should we find you a love interest?"
Kikyo glared at Paper Dude no. 2, and firmly refused, "Do you remember where that got me?"
After a few seconds, because she can think fast, she changed her mind.
"Let's keep them guessing, we won't tell them who it is."
"Good plan, Kikyo-sama."
"You're annoying me."
The two paper things turned back into there paper origins, because Kikyo was just too awesome. After some quick careful pondering, she decided on her side characters. So she went to find her first one, her once was half-demon's brother.
"Sesshomaru." She said when she found him, because that was what Inuyasha characters said when they met each other.
EX:
Inuyasha: Kikyo.
Kikyo: Inuyasha.
Inuyasha: fidgets awkwardly: Kikyo!
Kikyo: trying very hard not to walk away: Inuyasha.
Inuyasha: KIKYO!
Kikyo: glaring: INUY- Sometimes I wish I killed you.
Inuyasha: I love you!
: Something beeps on Inuyasha, he looks at his wrist:
Inuyasha: I have to go now, my Kikyo exclaiming time is over, and Kagome is going to sit me.
Kikyo: As Inuyasha leaves: I hope she does not sit you.
Inuyasha crashes violently to the ground.
Kikyo: walking away: smirks: I love you too.
(In addition, of course this stupid parody scene took place in a deep, dark forest.)
Sesshomaru ignored her, but when Kikyo called his name dramatically again, he turned sharply.
"And what business would I have with you?"
Smiling faintly, Kikyo said, "I have a proposal for you."
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, but since nothing exiting ever happened to them, except randomly encountering Inuyasha and friends or the baboon freak, the demon-lord stayed to listen.
Rin bounced along with the toad with the old hat yelling at her; while the beast Ah-Un trudging slowly a few feet from the priestess and the taiyoukai. They were speaking, debating which character to find next.
"We need another demon." The dog-demon started.
"We have three. I hope you can count."
"Two of which are utterly useless." He muttered distastefully
"Glad you can count," Sesshomaru glared at her but Kikyo continued, "Jaken can be our comic relief, I'll just contact the author and ask if he can be funnier. And Ah-Un can transport, though I'd much rather fly on you blanket."
"I promised Rin she could ride on it."
Kikyo sighed.
"No demon."
"Yes, demon."
" No demon. And stop glaring; if I can woo your brother, I'm sure I can woo you too."
"I am not debating romantic skills, and I must say you have no wooing skills what-so-ever."
Kikyo thought about a retort, "Have you read our fanfics?"
Sesshomaru paused then stared dreamily off into the distance. Kikyo, seeing this, was now quite disgusted, and proceeded to shock his arm.
"So when you touch me it does feel like shockwaves." Seeing Kikyo stop walking and glaring at him, he added, "Well, that's what someone wrote anyway."
"…"
"…"
"If you don't want a demon, and I don't want a human, why don't we just find a half-d –"
"No." she said firmly, "I have had my full of half-demons."
Moreover, according to certain crazy stories, so have I. (Inu-Sess IS WRONG!) Sesshomaru was determined to keep up this thread of their conversation.
"Oh, really?"
"I'll shoot you to a tree if you don't change the subject."
"Why, is it a taken subject?"
Getting his hidden meaning she replied satisfied, "No, it's a stupid and lost subject."
Suddenly Kikyo had an idea, "Why don't we have a contest. Whomever Rin thinks is prettier will have their choice."
"Rin!"
"Yes, mi'lord."
"Which one of us looks better?"
Both of them glared hastily at her.
"You, mi'lord."
Kikyo sighed loudly.
"Can't you guys run any faster?"
"Spilt up your jewel shard and maybe!"
"You guys are so stupid! Thirds, idiots."
"Hey, is that Kagome?"
"Looks like her, what do you think Koga?"
"No…."
The stupid wolf boys who could not go back to their own cave or wherever stopped to stare at an oncoming priestess. The leader ran back to look at the person.
"Hey, your –"a very stupid crossed Koga's face, "I dunno who you are."
Kikyo sweat dropped, why did no one know about her?
"My name is Kikyo."
"Koga."
A faint scream was heard as a young girl dashed up with the forgotten tai-youkai behind, "I'm RIN!"
"Wonderful…" Koga said sarcastically. .
"Well, don't you want to know why the real one is here?" Sesshomaru said coolly receiving a glare from the woman to his right.
"Incarnation." She said impatiently, "I am her incarnation."
"Wonderful… again." Koga started tapping his foot, "So why the hell are you guys here?"
Sesshomaru turned to Kikyo, "Must we pick this dim-wit?"
Kikyo nodded grimly, "He's the only one I can think of right now."
Even though Koga had no idea what he they were picking he just had to say something.
"What's wrong with me?"
"Youare just like my stupider-than-you brother."
"Wait, the mutt?"
"The very same."
"How dare you compare me that poop!"
Sesshomaru nodded knowingly, "Insulting, isn't it?"
"Aren't we getting a little off topic?" Kikyo intervened, "Sesshomaru, don't we have something to ask of Koga?"
Koga banged a fist on his open palm in realization.
"Oh, so your Inuyasha's first owner!"
"Who in the world," she said uncomfortably, not wanting to be on the subject she despised, but unfortunately for her the author took great, great, pleasure in, " Told you that?"
"Fox-face." Koga and Sesshomaru smirked at the awkwardness in her face.
"Well, we came to ask-"
Koga put a hand in her face, "Hold it, so you are Inuyasha's first owner, right?"
Kikyo looked to Sesshomaru for assistance but the demon lord was looking at her intently. Even the young girl, two wolf boys and toad head were looking at her.
"I suppose," She fidgeted, "I was?'
Sesshomaru frowned. Rin, who didn't know anything, but she'll magically know later, because I think a (unknown number here) year olds reaction to it would be prove to be quite endearing, anyway, Rin went off to go pick some flowers. Jaken took his ugly staff thing and began to burn some plants and other forms of life.
"So," Koga said, digging through his nails, "You got a leash on his brother?"
"Not at all!" Kikyo looked taken aback, " Anyway, we would like to know whether or not you-"
Koga interrupted her again, "Hey, so we all know Inuyasha and hate him so why don't we go kill him?" Kikyo stiffened and gave Koga a glare that far exceeded the normal glares of anime characters. Sesshomaru cracked his hand violently liking the idea. Koga amended hastily.
"Or an Inuyasha hater club?" still the glare did not stop, "Or we can calmly discuss his faults in a non-violent manner?"
Kikyo turned around, "Seeing as I'm not getting to ask my question anytime soon, 10 minutes." She went over to Rin and sat down.
"Hey, don't you want to join?" Koga called out her; Sesshomaru was too busy fuming over the previous decision. Kikyo waved him off and replied kindly looking up to the sky, admiring the blue hues. The clouds did not look lost; on the contrary, they looked just right, snuggled up in the sky.
"I have shinindimachu for that." She called softly.
Another idea struck her and she took out a paper person. Kikyo threw it in the air dramatically and it transformed into the half demon. The other demons looked at it strangely. Kikyo was surprised.
"You have 10 minutes; do what you wish with him. Watch it though, Rin is still here."
"I thought you, umm, had a thing for hi-"
"9 minutes." Kikyo resumed her uncomfortable facial expression as she busied herself looking at Rin. The two men gladly beat him up, but after a few minutes, Kikyo stood up and walked quite a bit away. Koga smirked while Sesshomaru did not miss a hanyou-pounding moment.
"Does the blood bother you?"
"No," she lied, beckoning Rin over, "I'm going to go find some more flowers. 6 minutes."
The demons figured they would pressure her later and continued beating up the fake Inuyasha.
^ %&^^$%%$&^*&&^^%%::"}{"":}{?_+)M"L?{}":?{})_+%%%%
Of course, Koga decided to go with the new Tachi, while his wolf-kin went to join a group of side-side characters.
"So now what?"
"We have to go find maybe one more person for our group."
"Why, Kikyo, we have plenty."
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you so polite?"
"And why must you be so rude?"
"Shut up."
Both of them started to glare at the tai-youkai but he paid no attention.
"Hey, so where are we going?"
"I don't have a destination in mind."
"A destination in mind" the wolf said sarcastically.
"That's what I said." Kikyo now was speaking impatiently, and then she snapped at him, "Would you have me change my dialect to suit your needs, Koga?"
Koga was surprised; the supposedly well-mannered priestess had cracked. He frowned.
"Never snapped at the mutt did you?"
Why, oh why did they always bring him up?
" You are not Inuyasha." She said quietly, and shut up for the rest of their walk to nowhere. Soon it was dark and they settled down for camp.
*&*&*&* (*&*&*&*(*&*&*&*(*&*&*&(*&*&*&(*&*&*&*(*&*&*& (*&*&*& (*&*&*&*(*&*&*&(*&*&*&(*&*&*&
Much to the demons distaste, they soon went off to find a human.
"How about Kagome?" said Koga hopefully?
Kikyo looked at Koga as if he was the most stupid person in the world.
"The point of our group is making a separate group opposite Inuyasha's. Including Kagome would defeat the purpose."
"Right."
Sesshomaru was not very happy. At all.
"I think this group is fine. You are all a bunch of idiots."
"I'd like another human to keep me company. I don't know what to tell you."
Groaning the males looked at her, but she did not, because as stated before, she was just too awesome, lower her gaze.
"You're not even human!" Koga whined.
"Don't remind me, please."
The group continued in a direction that only Kikyo knew off until they came across the solo demon exterminator.
"Hello." Kohaku said politely.
"Good afternoon."
Kikyo moved closer to him and placed a cool finger on his forehead.
"He's safe."
"Wonderful." Snarled Koga.
"…" Kohaku eyed the group strangely before the woman spoke again.
"We are starting a group opposite Inuyasha's, to highlight some of the forgotten side characters. We- or I rather, was wondering if you would like to join."
"Sure."
Kikyo beamed at him, causing most of males to stare at her. The cold-hearted taiyoukai turned with some effort. Koga smirked.
"Hey, isn't it supposed to hurt when you say his name or something?"
Kikyo narrowed her eyes at him, pausing at she felt a dormant pain surface within her. Shortly she fought back memories of a familiar pier and a different half-demon's claws. Kikyo remembered to answer.
"Pain doesn't come from words." She spoke bitterly, speaking to her worn-out memories, than to the wolf. Sesshomaru turned to gaze at her stoic face, now interested he gave his input.
"Where, then, do you propose does it come from?"
Kikyo was silent looking away. The boy answered.
"Memories."
The author seems to have taken a rather serious turn in the story line. To keep things light, a magic source will now implant all the knowledge of the show into…
The author would like to remind you that you have already been told.
The new group was traveling along a random road. Now the group had been completed and sunset was upon them.
" HIIIIIII!"
"Hello, Rin. What brings you to such a hyper mood?" Kikyo went to a knee to converse with the girl, tired after running from the toad.
"JAKEN TOLD ME SOME STORIES!"
"Shut up!" Rin and Kikyo glared at the wolf, but Rin stopped screaming.
"What stories?"
"About you and –"
"Pardon, but who told you?" Kikyo, bless her, could feel a familiar feeling in the storyline.
"Jaken did."
Finding an opportunity to stray away from her stories, she asked another question.
"I thought you were running away from Jaken."
"Never mind him-" a sneeze was heard in the background," He told me the most traaagic story about you and Lord Sesshomaru brother!"
Kikyo fidgeted. How she hated that word.
"Oh, did he?"
Sesshomaru at this point decided to take pity on Kikyo.
"We should get going."
"Yes." Kikyo agreed.
"'K."
They all started walking again, with Rin taking Kikyo's hand. Kikyo cleared her throat.
"Isn't time for you to go to sleep?"
Rin frowned and whined.
"What about my story?"
"I don't need to hear it. I lived it." She talked to the dying sky softly.
"I know," Rin agreed sadly but brightened up, " I wanna hear the fluffy parts!"
"What?"
" I said, I WANNA HEAR THE FLUFFLY PARTS!"
"I heard you…" Kikyo massaged her right ear gently, "I was just surprised."
"I'd like to hear the fluffy parts." Kikyo's face went pale at Koga's remark.
"I'd rather not." Said the demon lord.
"You jealous?"
"Of a half-demon idiot and a human woman? Heh!" he grunted confidently.
"Kid, would you like to hear the fluffy parts?"
"YES!"-shouted Rin, ignoring the fact that Kikyo face had paled and now flushed.
"Not you," he growled, "Demon chopper kid."
Looking at Kikyo's awkward face, he felt a twinge of sympathy. If he had been asked to talk about his times with Sango before the incident he would have declined.
"Would you like to, Lady Kikyo?"
"Not really, no." Kikyo sighed in relief.
"Why the hell would you ask her?"
"It's her choice whether she want to share or not."
A.N – yeah, this is a bad cut off, but a 2650 ish word is good for me. I told someone I would post this weekend so yeahhh. I guess this will be a two-shot. I can never write a one-shot… I was going to rant some, but I am tired, so till next time.
Sep 17 – Yeah so, I have now made this into a three parter hope fully it shall stay that way. Therefore, it is going to be this, then a pre-series should-stand-alone-but-is-in-this-crappy-story one-short, than back again to this style to finish it off. Sounds good to me. I hope that you person's 'll check back to see the extended chapter, but WHO looks at word count? I will put it in the summary. Anonymous reviews might be handy if they do not let you review again. Anyway…. Here is the rest.
"It's her choice whether she wants to share or not."
"Thank you, Kohaku."
The undead priestess and the should-be-dead demon killer shared a small sad smile. Koga scoffed.
"I'm not going to sleep till I hear a story!"
Everyone turned to Rin and sweat-dropped at the weird determined look on her face.
"Okay," Kohaku started kindly, "Once upon a time there was an evil mushroom lor-"
"Not you. Thank you though," Rin pointed to Kikyo, who was expecting not be let off so easily, "I want you to tell a story."
Sesshomaru looked at Kikyo meaningfully. Kikyo looked from one to the other.
"Why can't you just go to sleep?"
Kikyo turned to frown at Koga.
"That's not how you talk to young children, Koga.," she scolded with Rin nodding sleepily behind her. She then turned to Rin and spoke sweetly.
"I'm afraid I'm not that great at story-telling."
"The author said you knew the most amazing fluffy stories."
After that statement, fearing from an arrow to unpleasant places, the author ran away.
"... The author- where is the author?"
"The author said not to tell you. The author said to tell you she thinks you are cool. She said in a rather scared voice though."
Kikyo sighed and sweat-dropped, knowing the author she was probably far off by now.
"Fine, but only you. And Kohaku I suppose."
"Inuyasha's adventures' with his many women is of no concern to me."
"What?"
"You heard me."
"How can you say that?"
"It's true isn't it?"
Kikyo huffed and gave in.
"Fine then, thank you Sesshomaru for that wonderful comment."
Sesshomaru glanced at her and then speed ahead with toad face running behind him. The wolf however stayed.
"And why haven't you left yet?"
"I want to her the story." He said sheepishly, "To –"
"Thank you but my story isn't going to be used to get Kagome. Please leave."
Koga blinked. He could have said Kagome … or to use Inuyasha's bad treatment of women to get Kikyou. The world may never know. Koga speeded up as well. Kikyo took Rin's hand and she turned the ever-active works over her memory to spin out a story.
Fluffy Tale told in 3rd Person because no one wants to read a long quoted paragraph:
It was a cold day,
I am sorry but italic's disturb the author,
It was a warm day…
(Inuyasha: What the hell! Even I noticed that!
Kagome: Are you admitting your stupid?
Sango: I think he is. Your turn, monk.
Miroku: … I'm handsome.
Sango: Miroku: whacks said idiot: you are stupid!
Kagome: My turn!
Kikyo: Ahem!
Kagome: Our turn.
Kikyo: Beloved!
Kagome: Sit, boy!
Inuyasha: groans: Kagome, you evil wench!
Kagome: Kikyo did it too, you moron!
Inuyasha: Kikyo said beloved!
Kikyo: That is my word, though.
Inuyasha: So. I know you meant it.
Kikyo and Kagome and Sango and Miroku and most likely you: Large Groan…)
(By now, it should be obvious that the author is stalling. The author is not good at Rin- appropriate fluff, as in fluff without physical contact. Why don't we pretend Rin is suddenly old for the remainder of Kikyo' story. And that Kikyo is very open? By the way, the author is still stalling.
Still stalling…
Still stalling…
STILL stalling!
Inuyasha: Get on with the fluff! I want some action!
Kikyo: sweat-drops
Kagome: uneasily: I think the author is making Inuyasha too lovey dovey.
Kikyo: I agree.
Author (A.K.A Me) – Fine, let's turn it down a bit.
Inuyasha: Kikyo.
{Groans from the audience.}
Kikyo: That is better.
Author and Inuyasha: Can't we turn it up a bit?
Kagome: Awwww, no.
Author and Inuyasha: Kikyo?
Kikyo: ponders: Inuyasha, do you really love me that much?
Inuyasha: shakes head and wags tail: YES!
Kikyo: triumphant: Then, you should not need to turn it up!
Kagome: Ha ha ha !
Miroku: I-
Sango: Shut up!
Miroku: What I didn't say anything!
Sango: I'm preventing you from Inuyasha's claws and various stares. )
A.N: Whew, that spell check was long! Word annoyed me, so I kept hitting change, sorry if it sounds to … perfect? Anyways, it twas hinted in the the addition that I have to ideas for the next chapter. Good news I have a few, that I am going to twist into one cute, fluffy pre-series one shot. Hopefully it'll be one of those things I can write fast and that you can read multiple times. Comment, PM me, I'm friendly. Review, reading to great, critique is better, I'm still taking English. I reply to ALL reviews starting, uh, now!