'Oh great' I thought to myself, 'First Quidditch match of the year just has to be Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. How fantastic, NOT' I began muttering softly to myself. "Stupid Quidditch, stupid bloody stupid game!"
"Hello Lilyflower m'dear. Will you be coming to watch Prongsie play today?" called a familiar voice from above my head. When I tilted my head up to look at the boy, I saw his grey eyes glimmering with happiness.
"Goodmorning Siri love, and no. I will not be attending the game for your beloved 'Prongsie'. Although I shall be attending for that gorgeous keeper of yours, whose main occupation happens to be 'my best friend'" I said cheekily
"LILLLLLYYY come on! Please, say yes. Just once in your life say yes so that for once in his life, James won't come moping back into our room and be all miserable just because you said no!" He said, just a little too harshly than was intended. He looked hurt and sincere, I knew the bond between the Maurauders was close but nothing could taint the bond between Sirius and James.
"You want me to give Potter a chance? After the all the hell he's put me through! Are we talking about the same Potter? The one who acts all arrogant 'cause he's such a prick. The same Potter that runs his hands through his already horribly messy hair and lastly the same bloody Potter that has asked me out at every possible chance for the last SEVEN YEARS?!" I practically screeched
"The one and only" he replied smugly. A cruel grin arose on his charming face.
"Please tell me for once in your life you're joking, please oh please! Tell me this is a trick!" I yelped, knowing my face was flushing. Sirius just looked at me. No smirk, no smug look. He just stared.
"Lily, this isn't fair. Think about how much Prongs has changed this year. He's changed for you and you know it!" he stopped for dramatic effect, also as I grunted angrily. "I know you want to deny it but honestly Lils can I ask you one thing?"
I knew he would say something that would make me think. Yet, I accepted his request. "Sure, go ahead"
"Has Prongs asked you out this year?" and with that he turned on his heel and left the common room, the portrait swinging shut behind him.
'Damn it Lily, he hasn't! Maybe for the first time ever, you've lost James Potter'
'You've done it now, you idiot! You've finally lost the one boy who actually loves you!" another voice piped up.
DAMN LILY, why did life have to be so hard!? I jumped from my seat and ran towards the Quidditch pitch.
When I got there, the match was already in full swing, Sirius was up in the teachers box in front of the microphone. He'd obviously noticed my late entrance for all of a sudden I heard his deep chuckle booming across the pitch before he stated "Ahh, and Miss Evans has decided to make an appearance! This might make a change in Mr. Potter's game" he chuckled again as all the Gryffindors laughed. James spun around so he could see me, his gaze was harsh. Everything around me stopped, I couldn't hear anything and all I could see were James' piercing hazel eyes locked directly with mine. I was snapped out of my trance when I heard panic in someone's voice far off, "James mate, turn around. JAMES TURN THE BLOODY HELL AROUND! JAAAMES" but it was too late, Sirius' calls had only turned James to face the bludger that continued on its route and hit him straight in the side of the head.
Before I registered what I was doing I started to run towards the pitch, pushing through the large swarm of crowds. I don't know why I did it; I just needed to know that he was okay. I just needed to know he wasn't going to die.
When I got to the pitch level, people tried to hold me back. I swung my small fists at them trying to make them let me go. Suddenly Remus turned up, he grabbed my wrist and with quite remarkable force pulled us through the human barrier that had been formed. I collapsed beside Pot-James' lifeless looking body, the tears welling up in my eyes.
"This is all my fault! If I'd not come he'd be okay!" Imanaged to choke out.
Remus looked at me and held out a hand for me to get off the ground. "Lily, it isn't your fault, please don't think that. Come on, James needs to go to the Hospital Wing." He said soothingly. I ran ahead to warn Madame Pomfrey of James' arrival.
'This is all your fault' a voice in my head was taunting
'Just stay with him until he wakes up, you are so in love with him! You can't deny it much longer' the other said.
Wait. What? Did my head just tell me I was in love with James Potter? What the heck! AHHH this is so confusing! I mean yes he's gorgeous (what? I can look, I am only human) with his Quidditch toned body, his wild raven hair that sticks out in every direction… and the way his glasses slip off his nose. Or the way he runs his hands through is hair when he's nervous, though he doesn't do that as much any more. I always vowed I hated when he did that. Then he just stopped.
In fact; most of the reasons I put up that were why I would not date him, he's stopped. He doesn't hex random people anymore (unless his friends are in danger), his pranks have toned down quite a lot. He's even started to act like a gentleman.
I sat beside his bed, studying him carefully as Madame Pomfrey scanned her wand over him time and time again. His glasses were in my hand, they were all smashed when I'd picked them up off the grass of the pitch. I gripped them tightly, not a feeling the shards of glass piercing my hands.
After a few hours of nothing but silence I couldn't stand it any longer. Sirius was standing on one side of James' bed, just standing. He looked like a sculpture, unmoving and certainly not talking. Peter on the other side of the same side of the bed as Sirius was standing in much the same manner. I sat curled in the squishy hospital chair my gaze frozen on James with the battle of emotions erupting in my head. Remus sat on the arm of my chair occasionally trying to break the silence. I wanted to run, to get as far from them as possible but it felt as though someone had placed a permanent sticking charm on the chair. I wouldn't budge.
Madame Pomfrey came in every so often to check on James. At around six that evening she came in and said "He's going to be okay you know. I suggest you go back to your dormitories and get some sleep. You can come back in the morning."
Remus tried to help me up but I tried with all my strength to stay on the chair. Finally he let go and I stated "I'm not moving Remus. I don't care if you have to pry me off the chair. I will kick, scream and bite until I get back here. I know I won't be able to sleep. Please Remus. Let me stay?" I added with a pleading look. He set me back on the chair and went to talk to Madame Pomfrey.
Remus could see that it wouldn't be long until I started to cry so motioned for the other boys to leave. Sirius didn't leave. Everyone knew Sirius wouldn't leave. Peter, Remus and Madame Pomfrey left and drew the curtains back around the bed.
I had no strength left. The tears began to slide down my cheeks. "I was ready to give him his bloody chance!"
Sirius looked up at me said quietly "I'm sorry Lily, I really am so sorry" He came around to my chair and wrapped his arms around me "Please don't cry" he begged into my hair.
"I just, I need him to wake up. If he doesn't… I just don't know what I'd do. If I'd ever be okay." With every sob my body shook. I took in a huge gulp of air before I was able to start again "I really think I might love him and- I just can't deal with any more of the people I love dying. It's unbearable" I sobbed harder into his shirt. "I can't do it again. Not for James. I wouldn't be able to" Sirius pulled my tighter towards him, telling me it would be okay over and over.
An entire week passed yet I still refused to leave. Sirius eventually gave up and went to sleep in his bed. Remus and Peter bought me food and some blankets. Every day everyone tried to get me to go back to my room even just to go and have a shower and come back. I couldn't leave though, if I did leave and James woke up this whole week would've been a waste.
It was a gloomy Wednesday night after a long day of wishing James to actually wake up, I leant my arms on the side of his bed and lay with my head on my arms eventually falling asleep. I dreamt of faraway places where all was okay. No muggle-born haters roamed the earth, there was no pain. I also dreamt of what I would say to James when I woke up. To try and explain what I've felt this last week. As I dreamt I heard my name being whispered in the distance. The voice sounded confused. I felt a large warm hand on my shoulder shaking me gently. As I began to wake up I realized where I was and who was whispering my name.
"Lily? Where am I? Why were you asleep half on my bed?" James was asking. My heart began pounding harder and harder, thumping against my ribcage.
"Pinch me." I said plainly. James looked as me as if I had grown another head. "Pinch me, I need to know if this is real" I repeated. James leant over and pinched me lightly on the arm. "So you are awake!" I breathed. "Oh finally!" and with that I bounded right out of my seat and before I knew what I was doing, smothered James in a huge relieved hug. When I realized what I had done, I looked up at James and smiled sheepishly.
"Sorry" I muttered. As I began sliding off the side of the bed to go back to my chair, mentally slapping myself for what I just did; James lightly grabbed my arm and pulled me back towards him.
"Come here, you can go back to sleep here. I won't allow you to sleep on that chair anymore" He wrapped his arms around me, making it more comfortable for both of us. The feeling of his arms around me made my whole body tingle. I lay there quietly in his arms, savoring the moment and praising the dark of night for covering the deep blush that had risen to my face. After a couple of minutes of lying there, I heard James whisper quietly. He kissed me lightly on the top of my head.
"I love you Lily Evans" was his whisper; I felt his whole body relax next to me as he fell asleep. Not too long after, I fell into the most peaceful sleep I had been able to in a long time.
I felt warm and calm when I woke the next morning, I didn't want to move and I could hear people talking so I kept my eyes closed and snuggled closer to James' warm chest.
"Look, I'm glad you're awake mate, did Lily tell you how long you've been out for?" asked a voice that was undoubtedly Sirius.
"No why? How long was it?" asked James' voice sounding slightly worried.
"Prongs, you were out for 10 days! She wouldn't budge. I mean honestly people say I'M stubborn jeez!" Sirius explained, both boys chuckled at the latter of the statement.
"You know I really do love her right Pads?" James whispered. I smiled into his chest slightly.
"Of course I do mate. But honestly, she was a right mess the other night. You really need to take care of her. Also, I love you man but hurt Lily and I'll hex you to the next millennium!" Sirius said with a serious (no pun intended) tone.
I decided I had heard enough for now. I rolled slightly trying to get as close to James as was humanly possible. Both boys stopped talking. I tilted my head up to see James, as I blinked my eyes a few times I smiled. For the first time of many to come I had woken to see the face of James Potter with a genuine smile upon his face.
"Good morning Lily" he said softly. I heard Sirius leaving the ward.
"Good morning James" I smiled back.
He leant his head down so our noses were touching. We kissed so softly that our lips just barely brushed the others. James pulled back slowly. He looked at me and whispered "Lily Evans, I love you. More than I should. I love you so much it hurts"
"James, when you got hit. I thought you were going to die. I tried to imagine my life without you. I well, I couldn't because, I love you." I replied softly.
We lay there, in the hospital bed. Lying in a comfortable silence just thinking. Thinking of the past few days, of the future. Our future. What would happen? Would we survive the war that was going on outside the safe walls of Hogwarts? The answers we knew none. Yet for those few moments it didn't matter.