For all of you that said I needed to revise my story, here it is.

I am not Stephenie Meyer, nor do I own any of her characters. I do love playing with her characters, a little.

I'm warning you now, I'm not sure at this point what complications will be incorporated in this affiliation, sometime my writing has a mind of its own, but there is impending sexual situations, and questionable ethical behavior. Also, I don't write where the sunshine all the time, like in some fairy tales. I don't want you to be insulted or offended in any manner, if this story decides to take a turn for the worst or you do not like the way it is going. Please review if you have any concerns or disagree with me. If it is not too late I can change it, if it does not affect the outcome of my story. I do take suggestions and may add them to my story so please review and add suggestion anytime you feel like it.

Okay so this takes place in the forest where Edward just told Bella he was leaving her in New Moon. The saddest part of the movie and the book.

My first fan-fiction so please review and tell me what you think. I do really want your reviews

A good vampire is hard to find.

Sad but true. It seems most vampire heroes, with a few wonderful and amazing exceptions, are either whiners or psychopaths.

Which is really too bad, because I love the idea of a vampire that is idealistic, passionate and romantic. All the sexuality, superhero vigor, strength and animal hunger.

Besides, you know that any guy who has been seducing women for hundreds of years just has to be exceptional good in bed.

On a rear occasion when I do find the perfect vampire, he is paired with a heroine who has the fixed bubbliness of a valley girl and a combined with raw intelligence of box of rocks.

Twilight is one of those exceptions. I think that is what makes it so appealing to everybody.

I will still tell you when it is a flashback and so forth...

So please enjoy.

Chapter 1: PAIN

Bella POV

I was just getting out of the truck when I seen Edward. My Edward, standing at the edge of the woods besides my house. I got out and ran to him. I was always happy to see him. School always went by so at a snail's pace without him or the rest of the Cullen's.

"Did you have a good hunting trip?" I asked throwing my arms around him. "I missed you."

He pushed me back. Never looking at me. Never returning the hug. Edward had been distant since my birthday. Accidents occur, it is a matter of fact, and it was just small paper cut. Things like that were bound to happen. It was nothing. I hoped he would get over it soon. I missed the emotional connect, that was disappearing. He was distant, almost as if he was not there.

"Bella, I am leaving. We are leaving."

"Let me tell Charlie" I said with high hopes. "I need some time to pack. I need to explain thing, Charlie will understand."

"Bella you are not listening to me." He said looking over my shoulders, never meeting my eyes. I was lost, what was happening here?

I thought for a moment that he meant him and me. Then he was telling he me something I was not understanding. I need him to explain things farther.

"What do you mean leaving?"

"Bella, we have been here too long. People are starting to ask question. It is time for us to move on."

"Where are you going? When will you be coming back? What about me?" I was floored. Was he leaving me? For good, never to return, forever?

"Never! We will never be able to come back here. I cannot tell you were we are going. You are going to move on without us."

"Why?"

"Bella, Love, my family and I are leaving. Bella, were threw. I don't want you any longer. You are not good enough for me. You never were. You were just some plaything, a pet. Now that I got what I wanted from you, there is no need for me to continue this." Still looking over my shoulder he continued to tell me I was worthless. "Bella, the desire I had faded a long time ago. I need and have new cravings you can not satisfy them."

"Edward don't leave me. I love you, I love your family. I want to be with you, forever." My words were trailing off. Softly I spoke. "Your family likes me. What happened the other night, with Jasper, was just an accident. It meant nothing." I said with tear filled eyes

"No! Bella! This has nothing to do with that." He screamed at me. He never raised his voice to me before but today, at this very moment he screamed at me. "It is simple, I do not want you."

"But Edward..." I could hear the pain in voice. Was he telling me I was not good enough for him?

"No! Bella, it was all just a game, and I am done playing. I need someone better. I deserve someone better. My family just played along, this game had to end sometime. Do not make this hard than it is. I need to be with someone better. You are not what I want. You mean nothing to me. NOTHING. You are a useless and weak, a human. Nothing more. You are less than that now. You are a used human. I need to be with someone of my own kind. Tanya is who I want. Not you. "

"Tanya….not me?" I said more of a statement than a question.

With that he turned to leave.

"Edward............."

"Please......"

"Edward …..........."

Too late, he was done gone.

I stood there letting the words he had just said run through my mind. A game, I was nothing more than a pastime for him and his family. He was moving on without me. He was moving on with someone else. With Tanya, he loved her, not me.

"Edward, you cannot mean this. Please come back." I screamed. "Please"

I ran after him, deeper and deeper into the wood. I no longer could hear the traffic of the cars or see the light, ran into the dark forest. The forest was dark and cold, but still I continued, slipping and falling. So damp, but I had to continue, I had to find him. To make him understand. To help me understand what was happening? Why was this happening? If I could just see him, again I knew he would tell me it was just a joke, that he loved me. He always loved, and always will. He promised. So I ran, scrapping my hands and knees. The pain in my heart out weighted the pain of each fall.

Edward had vanished; there was no trace of him in the woods.

Now I am lost in the woods, alone and cold, in the dark. Shaking from the fear of forever being alone and unloved. Scared that I would never amount to anything. Why me?

As I started to cry I remember the last time I was alone with Edward.

Flashback:

We were alone in our meadow, a few weeks before my 18th birthday. The place where I first realized, I loved him. We were getting very close we started kissing and before I knew what was happening, I was embraced with in his arms, we made love. This was something be fond of. I had never felt before. My heart felt like I was whole, complete. I could get use to this, this feeling of love and devotion. This was right. How things should be?

There was a little pain, does not the first time hurt. I mean, I heard people talk. That sex was painful, is this not true, how it was to be? I guess it was different for us. I felt complete in his embrace. He LOVED me and I love him. We were finally showing each other how much we meant to each other. That our two worlds were united, joined together, we belonged together, forever. My missing piece, we fit. It was sweet and wonderful, truly amazing. Again, we told each other how much we loved each other. We got dress and he carried my home. That night after Charlie went to bed. I waited for Edward to climb back threw my window. We were quite this time but like the first, just as wonderfull. More intense, he was gentle, and loving. Every caress felt like silk against my skin. His breath made me shiver.

I could still tell that he was holding something back. Something he was not telling me. I figured it was because he was afraid of hurting me. I mean at any moment he could crush me to death. At any moment my life would end if he lost control. That the world we had created would crumble. There would be no more us. But I did not care, I loved him, I needed him I wanted him, and still do. There would be no Bella without Edward. He is my sun, my sky, my life, my everything. I belonged to him completely. That would never change. I was and will always belong to Edward.

Was this what he was holding back? That he did not love me? He did not want me? That I was truly a toy? No, that was not it. It could not be. He told me he loved me constantly. He promised to never leave. I could not be a toy, something that was all used up. I am not a useless and weak human. He loved me. Alice was my friend. I was something. He wanted me, loved me. What was he trying to tell me? He would be back. He had to come back.

A rueful chuckle rumbled warmly in my ear. His hands came up to cup my face, lifting my head so my eyes met his. "Work with me here, darlin'."

"Bella, you are my life." That phrase repeated in my head.

There was such kindness in those eyes, an understanding that seemed to speak directly to something in me I never acknowledged or knew existed.

I know how lonely you've been, I know how you've feared and hit it. I know how you have wanted to reach out, but there is never anyone there. I know how you have suffered. I am here for you Bella, Love. I will always be here.

His words were like velvet in my ears. Now they are like poison on my brain.

Right up until today we made love once or twice a day. This morning before school, we made love in the shower, and then again, when he carried me to my room. It was sweet and breathe taking. He held me and whispered he loved me. He told me I was beautiful. I was everything he need. That he would always want me, no matter what happened.

No matter what happened. Was he telling me he was leaving? Was I to stupid to understand?

FLASHBACK:

His hands were at his belt. His slacks were coming off. His body seemed more powerful than ever before. The lean, muscle of his torso had thickened, and he looked frighteningly strong.

He was staring down at my naked body as his pants came off. "So soft," he said. "Soft as velvet, with a heart of full of warmth. So beautiful, loving and all mines."

I lovingly stroked his firm chest. "Yes, soft as velvet, with a heart of stone underneath. I should have known it from the beginning, that I would always love you." I said.

His sex was erect, almost more from his own arousal than from my touch.

"I want to give you everything, Bella," he said. "Everything I am. Bella, I need you. I want you. I am afraid I will not be gentle this time. Rough, I want it rough."

There was no love in his touch, but only an assault, made it all the more exciting. He pushed me and held be against the bed. With his strong hands and moved me this way and that on the bed, opening me to thrusts that came from all directions, each more intense than the last. Each leaving me breathless, heart pounding. Wanting more, begging for more.

"Mmmm, you like variety, then," he hissed. "Try this."

He pushed into me with a long stroke that made me gasp. I was trying to remain quite. Trying to keep my moans to a soft whisper, I failed miserably. No such luck, my moans grew louder and louder with each thrust.

"Come on," he said. "You cannot hide from me. I want it all. I want every sound you give. Let me hear those beautiful moans."

He was moving faster, each thrust more knowing then the last. Each driving me closer and closer to my release.

There was something madly mechanical about him; I mean I know he is inhuman. But still something inhuman and impersonal that froze my mind while his stiff member stroked my senses, hotter and hotter.

"There," he said. "Mmmm there. Love, do you like that? Tell me? "

He could see the tremors shaking from my body, and he smiled. His hands were on my breasts, thumbs rubbing the nipples roughly. His thighs immobilized me, and he thrust deeper and deeper into me.

"Oh Bella, see?" he said. "It is too late for you. You are mine. Forever and ever."

He moved faster, sensing that I was ready for the last wave of my orgasm to hit.

"Come on baby," he said. "Cum for me, love. This is what you wanted. What you needed. Let me hear you, let it all out"

The spasm shook me like an earthquake, and I gasp so deep in my throat that he took pity on me in that moment and said nothing more. He held himself inside me as the little paroxysm came, an endless series that ebbed with agonizing slowness.

"As black as hell, as dark as night," he said. "From this day forward you are mine."

I was too numbed to speak. He lay on my stomach unable to move. He savored the sight of my nudity. Touching me gently, this time, caressing me with the softest touch. Whispering he loved me. Holding me, something I never could get enough of. "Bella, did I hurt you. I am so sorry. I just could not wait. I need you."

"That was perfect Edward, perfect."I said trying to catch my breath.

"You are mine," he said. "Tell me, Bella, tell me?"

I tried to move and could not.

"Say it!" he repeated, squeezing my tighter. "Tell me who makes you happy?"

"You Edward," I said still in my bliss. "You and only you. I am yours." My words came out against his cheek, a barely audible murmur.

He laugh a slow bitter laugh. Then he pulled out of me and left without a word. I lay amid the torn fabrics of my sheets.

He was not holding back that morning but I knew when he left something was wrong.

END OF FLASHBACK

Now all I had was my pain, my grief, and my memories. Memories of my angel, my love, and my life. My everything, now it was gone. No Edward. No Bella. No life. No nothing. No sun.

As I stood there, my knees began to buckle. I felt my life slip away. I could feel my head getting light and dizzy as I slipped into the dark abyss. The nothingness, the darkness, which now consumed my life. I have no idea how long I was out there. When I was finally realizing my surroundings, I noticed it was dark, really dark and cold. I was still alone. I could hear someone calling my name.

"Bella …............"

"Bella ….............."

"Isabella............."

"Bella are you out here!"

"Please answer us Bella …........"

"Bella, please honey answer me." I recognized the voice of my father Charlie.

I could not talk. Nor did I care to answer them at this time. I could hear diffident voices. None I cared to answer. I was all cried out, and no more tears ran down my face. The sound was not coming out, but I could still sob. I slowly started to lose it again as the black and nothingness consumed me. My life began to flash before my eyes. I have always heard that you life flashed before your eyes, when you are dying. That soothed me.

Visions flashed before my eyes:

My mother and my life Arizona.

Crazy scatter brain Renee.

All the drama she would have me go thru.

Ballet classes

Dance recitals,

All her dates till she found the right guy.

Her marriage to my new step-dad, Phil.

The first day I arrived in Forks, Washington.

The van accident.

The trip to Port Angles.

Meeting my friends, meeting the Cullen's.

Edward

Alice

First Beach, where I learned what Edward was.

The meadow

Our first kiss

My entire life flashed before my eye.

I could feel me slipping deeper and deeper into the abyss, the nothingness.

I was empty.

When he left, He took my life, my heart and my everything. He left me with nothing. I was with him, everything I had and was left with him. My life was gone.

Something inside of me died. I died today! I died alone and cold in the woods, unloved. My soul was gone. I may not be physically dead. My soul and heart died. I was an empty shell of what I once was. I was nothing, lower than nothing. I wanted to die, physically, too! I was an empty vacant tomb.

I laid there praying to die. Please, lord please take me now, I prayed.

I continued to lay there slipping in and out of the nothingness, praying no one would find me. Just stop looking. Let me die. If I could not have him, I did not want to live. I want to die, please!

Okay so there is my rewrite what do you think?

In the next chapter I will switch POV and from each chapter after any suggestion let me know. Also reviews are always welcomed good or bad just let me know either way.

HEY I FOUND THE PERFECT BETA. SHE HELPED ME, AND SO I WANT TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO HER CullenxVamp

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