Not mine. Not making a dime. I know, it's very sad. I'm crying here. Really…
Song is "Three Libras" by A Perfect Circle and it ROCKS!
He Who Goes Unnoticed
Thick black smoke rose from the flames devouring what was once her latest vehicle. Blue and red flashing lights swirled through the hazy air, illuminating the dejected form hunched over on the curb.
Leaving the warmth of my car behind, I made my way towards her. Her face was hidden in her hands, but I could tell by the slightly scorched quality of her sweater and the soot on her jeans that she had gotten a little too close for comfort to the blazing remains of her car. Noticing that she wasn't wearing a coat, I automatically removed mine to give her some sort of protection from the biting cold.
She didn't look up until I wrapped her in the thick fleece. When her tearful blue eyes, so large and shiny in her pale, smudged face, met mine, I felt a familiar tug at my heart.
She was just so damn beautiful.
Threw you the obvious
And you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection
Down among a million same
Difficult not to be a little bit disappointed
And passed over
But I look right on through
See you naked but oblivious
And you don't see me…
She quickly swiped the offending tears away as I sat down on the curb beside her.
"Are you okay, Steph?" I asked, knowing instinctively what her answer would be. Stephanie Plum would never admit to something that would make it necessary to visit the ER.
"I'm fine," she murmured, gracing me with a tight little grin. I knew her too well, though. The smile never reached her eyes and it was clear that she was barely holding on.
Despite her sadness, I needed to hear her voice again. I've heard that voice in my dreams for years and it always left me stunned and a little stupid when I heard it in person. "Can you tell me what happened?"
She sniffled, wiping her fingers over her eyes. Her gaze immediately went to her burning car. "I was picking up Laurence Mallory and he threw a Molotov cocktail at my car. I barely made it out before it went up."
I shuddered just thinking about how close I came to losing her. Don't be a fool, I scolded myself. You've never had her to begin with.
I wrapped an arm around her, hoping she would see the act as a friend consoling another friend and not the desperation of a man who had secretly loved her forever. Glancing over at the ambulance nearby, I caught sight of who I assumed was her skip being attended to by the EMT's. His shirt was off and his shoulder was being bandaged.
I tilted my head towards the man. "That Mallory?"
Stephanie nodded without looking. I grinned.
"You still caught your man." I never expected anything less from her. No matter how it happened, Stephanie Plum always caught her man. "What'd you do to him?"
A tiny, genuine smile tugged at the corners of her lush, pink lips. "Shot him in the shoulder."
I couldn't help but laugh. She was incredible.
But I threw you the obvious
Just to see if there's more behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy.
Here I am expecting just a little bit too much from
The wounded
But I see
See through it all
See through
See you
In what I hoped looked like a completely platonic gesture, I tugged her closer against me and kissed the top of her dark, wild curls. Even mixed in with the acrid scent of smoke and gasoline, I could smell the warm, citrus of her shampoo and soap. Bath and Body Works Mango Mandarin. I loved how she smelled. I loved how after spending time with her, even though it was usually just in passing, I could smell her on my clothes for the rest of the day.
I never noticed things like that about my own wife. I never held my sleeve up to my nose after hugging my wife, just to catch her scent. I never even noticed what kind of shampoo or soap she used. What kind of husband did that make me?
Usually, acknowledging this made me feel like a louse. Going home to my wife and kids while fantasizing about Stephanie made me feel like I had cheated on my family. Don't get me wrong; I love Shirley and the kids. I love being a father and I like being a husband. But sometimes, when I least expect it, I can't help but wonder what my life would be like if I had married Stephanie instead of her cousin. If Steph were more to me than just a friend and a relation by marriage.
It's not like she would have ever seen me like that. She'd been with Joe Morelli. And someone like me could never compete with someone like him. He was Trenton's very own Don Juan. And don't even get me started on Ranger Manoso. Hell, even Morelli could barely compete with that man. How could Steph even notice me when she had New Jersey's two most eligible bachelors publicly lusting after her?
Why would she be content to just have your average run-of-the-mill husband and breadwinner?
She was extraordinary. Stunningly beautiful and wonderfully exciting and despite her obvious lack of Burg-ness, she was absolutely perfect. All the men I worked with thought so. I wonder if anybody has ever told her that. I highly doubted Morelli would. He was too worried about job promotions and Burg expectations in a potential wife to praise her for her unusual lifestyle. I'm sure Manoso has told her. I've heard him tell her how proud of her he usually is. A man who would publicly say that would no doubt have told her such things in private.
The screech of tires brought me out of my reverie. Looking through the smoky haze, I caught sight of a familiar black Porsche. I mentally sighed and squeezed her closer once more in a friendly hug. My time with her was just about up.
'Cause I threw you the obvious
To see what occurs behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy
Oh well…
Oh well…
Apparently nothing
Apparently nothing at all
You don't, you don't, you don't
See me
You don't, you don't, you don't
See me
You don't, you don't, you don't
See me
You don't, you don't, you don't
See me
Stephanie immediately looked up and I felt my heart breaking when a wide, honest smile lit up her face. Through the haze, Ranger appeared like a hero out of an action movie, all big and dark and focused intently on her.
I would give just about anything for her to look at me like that.
Recognizing when I was nothing more than the third wheel, I stood up and took a step back.
"Let me know if you need anything, Steph," I said softly. She glanced up at me and smiled.
"Thanks, Eddie. You're the best."
Ranger stopped beside me, nodding at me politely before reaching down to pull Steph to her feet. I could barely stand it when he wrapped her in his arms and hugged her tightly.
"You okay, Babe?" He murmured, just loud enough for me to hear.
She nodded against him. "I need a shower in the worst way, but I'm okay."
They were still for a long time, just holding each other and I immediately recognized the expression on Ranger's face.
Sheer, knee buckling relief.
I knew the feeling well. I've experienced that overpowering rush every time I've come upon one of Steph's near catastrophes.
I couldn't help but watch as Ranger began to lead her towards his car, away from me.
But then she stopped and turned around.
The tiny smile on her face, directed at me, almost killed me.
Steph walked back, stopping close enough for me to catch the Mango Mandarin scent again. I breathed in deeply, needing to hold on to it for as long as possible.
"Thanks for letting me borrow this," she said, shrugging out of my coat. She held it out and I took it, my hand "accidentally" brushing against hers.
"Anytime." I murmured, watching her run back to Ranger. He wrapped his arm around her as he led her away.
I waited for the Porsche to speed away before bringing the coat up to my face and breathing her in, knowing that her scent was all I could have of her.
You don't
See me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me at all