A Different Kind of Brotherly Love

A little story written by: Ramen

Disclaimer: … Do I really have to tell you that I don't own Ninja Turtles, and that Peter Laird/Mirage/whoever the hell else owns it, and not me? … Oh wait, I just did!

Warning: Major turtlecest- if you're not into that kind of stuff, then get the heck out while you still can. Also there is, crude language sprinkled here and there, and general silly-ness.

Author's Note: I'm back! *Crickets chirp* … Erm, anyway, enjoy the story- and if I don't update this one, I apologize in advance. School (algebra, specifically) tends to make me forget about a lot of things, so…

Chapter One: Mikey the Big Orange Chicken

As far as Mikey could remember, there has always been sexual tension between Leonardo and Raphael.

Of course, that notion might sound completely preposterous to people who actually knew Raph and Leo, and their habit of arguing constantly with each other (which wasn't really hard to miss, considering that they had the subtlety of a train wreck when it came to those very constant arguments).

As it turns out, Mikey is not the only one who has noticed this little, dare he say, incestuous fact.

Donny had caught onto it ages ago, at the tender age of nine and a half years old (thanks to his private stash of shonen-ai manga cleverly hidden in a secret compartment in his desk drawer- don't ask) whereas it took Mikey fifteen and a half years of existence to educate himself in the ways of homosexuality, incest, and teenage hormones (thanks to his very own private stash of shonen-ai manga mixed into his numerous stacks of comic books- Mikey was a very curious teen indeed).

So basically, the only people that were blissfully unaware of this strange phenomena were the subjects of the matter themselves, and an old, decrepit rat (sorry Master Splinter) who probably would not even know what romance was if soap operas did not come into existence.

But, I digress.

When one sees sexual tension, what does one do? Plot carefully, of course. Come up with a subtle, refined idea that will bring those two clueless idiots together.

When one Mikey sees sexual tension, what does one Mikey do? Leap right into a plan without even thinking through it, consequences be damned.

Oh dear.

"Hey, Leo!" Funny how two innocent little words could spark so many ungodly events.

Leo raised an eye ridge, and turned away from his book at the sound of his younger brother's suspiciously chipper voice.

"Uh… hi, Mikey."

Oh poor, poor Leo… He should have ran away while he could.

"I'm AWARE of a VERY subtle FACT, brother mine," Mikey began, proudly noting how discreet he was about the whole thing. "That YOU and a certain SOMEONE… whohappenstoweararedmask..." he paused to take a deep, deep breath for the next part, "… are suffering under extreme sexual tension by a means of some strange sort of argument-based foreplay." [1]

…Okay, so he had chickened out, but… really, how the hell are you supposed to ask your older brother about this sort of shit?

"Mikey," Leo intervened, speaking slowly and deliberately, as if talking to an unruly child (which, in fact, was not very far from the truth). "Could you repeat that? The only words I heard were 'argument-based' and 'foreplay'." The last part of the sentence made Leo's cheeks turn dark green- a turtle equivalent of a blush. What the hell had Mikey been talking about? Did he even want to know?

The color drained from Mikey's face (very noticeable, considering sea-foam green is significantly different from pale white), and sweat formed in tiny, nervous beads on his forehead.

"Um, w-well, I said… Th-the thing is, I-I was gonna tell you that you and Raph are-" he paused mid-sentence, the words dying in his throat before he could even get them out. Now, Leo just looked outright annoyed; his arms were crossed, eyes narrowed into impatient slits. "That Raph and I are what?"

A few seconds of awkward silence later, salvation came to Mikey in the unexpected form of Donatello, whose appearance was overly-convenient despite the circumstances. But hey, who really gave a rat's a-

"Hey, Mikey, could you help me with something for a minute?" the genius requested in a polite, yet hurried, tone, barely breaking his stride as he trudged past them with a heavy-looking cardboard box in his arms.

"We-ll Leo, looks like I'll have to tell you later, because as you can see, our dear Donatello needs my help," Mikey laughed nervously, mentally thanking the gods and any other deity out there while he quickly scurried after Donatello's retreating figure.

'Strange. But then again, when is Mikey ever not strange?' Leo mused, putting a three-fingered hand to his chin in thought.

What was that about him and Raph? Maybe... did Mikey think that…? 'No, no way… He couldn't possibly… could he?' he shook his head before he could even dare finish that thought.

Still, something was off about this whole thing, and as leader, he decided that he was going to find out exactly what that something was, whether Mikey wanted him to or not.

[1] Okay, Mikey's rant was originally supposed to have no spaces between the words like the previous line he uttered, but unfortunately, the editing system was being a butthole, and wouldn't let me put it in unless it had spaces, so... Just pretend it doesn't okay?

Is it me, or does the chapter title remind anyone of that one Chinese dish..?

ANYWAY, sorry for the shortness- I swear that I'll try to make it longer next chapter. If it's not too much trouble, could you pretty please with sugar on top press that little button down there that says "review"? If there's no feedback, I'm afraid I will not be motivated, so there will be less chances of me continuing this, sorry to say.