I DON'T OWN SOUL EATER OR THE JOKE DADDY'S RULES FOR DATING

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a carton of beer, because you're sure not picking anything up.

(Spirit's pov)

I was busy reading this wonderful book on how to bond with your daughter, when I heard a loud annoying honk outside. I tryed to go back to reading, but then that same damn sound came a few more times. What the hell? I placed my book down, got up from my chair, and looked out the widow. What I saw out there was the most horrible, lazy ass, octopus head on the face of the earth!

"Soul eater" I granted.

What the hell is he doing here? Shouldn't he be robbing a bank or something?

"Come on Maka!" he yelled from his death trap or as he calls it, his motorcycle.

THE BASTER IS AFTER MY MAKA! Thank god my little girl is at her mama's house. There is no way I'll let her go with that guy! Then the baster got off of his bike, walked to my door and knocked.I calmly walked to the door and opened it. Eater look surprised and took a step back.

"Eater, you better be delivering a carton of beer. If not, then you better start running." and just like that the chase begain.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Why? Why did my darling Maka had to like Eater? He was an evil little demon! I wouldn't be surprised if he grew horns. And here I am now, sitting at the table, eating dinner with saton's helper.

"So how long have you two been dating?" Kami asked.

"Oh it was abo..."

I tune out the rest. I really didn't want to know how long that baster was going behind my back, dating my daughter. How could my sweat Maka doooo... what was that octopus head doing? H-he's looking at Maka's chest! Not only that, but his hand was slowly moving to her! Not in this house.

I quickly grabed my fork and as hard as a could, stabbed the bun right next to Eater's moving hand. It shook the talbe a little, but my mission was accomplished. Eater's hand was back in his lap. But now every one's eyes were on me.

"Sorry" I grind and glared at Eater." I was hungry."

Maka and kami went back to talking, but Eater still eyed me. I looked him dead straight the eyes.

"Eater" I stated mentally" If you try that again, I will use the fork in my hand to nail your hand to the table." my eye twitched after the thought.

He must have read my mind because all night long he kept his eyes above Maka's neck line.