Title: An Illusion
Author: GEM
Word Count: 330
Date: January 2, 2006
Season: 2.0
Category: Reflection
Focus: Baltar
Summary: Wake up and smell the psychosis.
Spoilers/ Disclaimer: Season 1 and 2 (Home part 2, Pegasus, possible future episodes but I can't be sure about that because I don't work for nor can I read the minds of Ronald D. More or David Eick. They own it I just play with it.
Author's Note: I've been playing with this idea for some time. This is my first Baltar fic so feedback is welcome
The fic was inspired by Rob Thomas' song I am an Illusion. I don't own that either but it's awesome as is the entire CD.
Gaius Baltar couldn't take it anymore. Morning, noon, and night she was there in his head. He was going mad. She was a cylon. She used him and her beauty blinded him. He was insane she was an illusion. She couldn't possibly be real. Could She?
She helped him plan the attack on the cylon refinery or did she? She said, "God doesn't always speak in words." She could be right. God or the Gods could have nothing to do with it. After all he is a genius.
He yells at her all the time this illusion in his head. He has said some unkind things- things he can't take back. She's left him before, left him in the hands of his peers. She's appeared as Shelly Godfrey. She's placed doubt of his loyalty to his race in their minds. She had driven him literally mad. Then she came back to him and his peer were convinced that her accusations were a fraud.
He is safe now, in his head with her. She is real to him He is safe and depends on her. He is not mad. He thought he was and she had convinced him he was. He knows now that he needs her. She is him - his unconscious thought. She torments him and heals him at the same time.
He stands alone now looking at the form in front of him. He understands love for him love was a tangible presence then it was an intangible presence, now here, in front of him, it is tangible again. She is broken and hurting. He hurts for her but she is here and her illusion in his head is right he has to help her.
He has truly lost himself. She has become his world. She is always right. He believes in her. He has separated himself from the rest. He is not real anymore. He has become an illusion. He has become an illusion of his former self.