A/N: Excluding this initial author's note, this piece will be written exclusively from EPOV. If you have any questions for Edward feel free to review the fic and leave one there, or tweet (twitter is located in the profile info). All family members will eventually be sharing their "real" story of how twilight went down. We also all have active twitter accounts where you can follow our daily lives and interactions with each other. All "chapters" will be written like blog entries, detailing different parts of the story. Of course, reviews are always welcome!
Disclaimer: I don't actually own twilight... I just pretend to for some fun
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December 8, 2009.
Bella has decided that its time to share the true story of "twilight." We're sick of the gossip and rumors, and frankly, a lot of the story that's out there is completely fabricated. I'm going to assume that most of you have read the books or have seen the movies, so hold on for some eye openers here.
The telling of some stories is better left to the people who experienced them. This is how it all really happened…
When you live a life of repetition very little can surprise you. After years of the same shit day in and day out, I had fallen into a lame routine. It hadn't always been that way. Earlier on, in my existence as a vampire, I had barely noticed the passage of time, or the fact that I was alone. I found distractions everywhere; art, music, travel and there were relationships too, despite what Stephenie Meyer would have you believe. I would be in Paris one day, whispering sweet nothings to a young Catherine Daneuve, and Hollyood the next, caressing the face of Audrey Hepburn. I ate breakfast with Picasso, dinner with Dali and had lunch after fucking Georgia O'Keefe, (I'll have you know I got quite good at "eating" human food for the sake of keeping up appearances, though I always regretted it later on). Having the ability to read minds helped me find my way into the best restaurants, the most exclusive clubs, and the beds of some of the world's most desirable women and men. Yes, I said men. I was an artist, and I was on a mission to experience as much life as possible. You can blame Henry Miller and Anais Nin for selling me on that idea, but we'll get back to that later. Immortality had granted me the opportunity to do and see things that few would ever dream of. After years of the jet setting lifestyle though, I was left feeling empty. Being immortal meant that I could never stay in one place for too long, which lended nicely to the lifestyle, but never aging also meant that I never was able to get close to anybody. Despite being what I was, what I am, I longed for interaction. I wanted to be close to someone, to anyone, if only to prove that I wasn't a monster, that there was still some part of me that was alive. No one I met piqued my interest in such a way. Most people in the circles I ran through were nothing but vapid at the end of the day. Hearing their thoughts told me that they saw the body, the face, and could care less of what lay beneath my exterior. The pitfalls of being the perfect predator, I guess. Eventually I got to the point where I was just going through the motions of life. Nothing I did really had any meaning, and only filled the void I felt temporarily. I returned home, the failed prodigal son, to my "family," for all intensive purposes. I was welcomed with open arms by my father, Carlisle, my mother Esme. My brothers and sisters were a bit more wary, confused by the torrid lifestyle I had chosen to live so long. In time though, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I blended like normal siblings and I went about impersonating a teenager as they had been doing. I fell in line quickly, since empty was just being replaced by a different form of empty, and got very good at playing the roll. We lived in city after city, going to school like regular children, so Carlisle could fulfill his need to help mankind. He would become the star at whichever hospital he worked at, and we would stay until all of us could no longer pass for our ages.
Life proceeded this way for a couple of decades, and I barely noticed the time pass. I would sit in class all day, staring at the cracks in the ceilings, ignoring the stares of all the girls around me. I would come home to my books, my music and my journals; all remnants from the previous culmination of my life. That life had bored me, and the state I was in had already begun to do the same. I had been waiting, looking, for something to break the monotony. I never thought that the light to break through my darkness would come in the form of a human girl.
The day I met Bella Swan had begun like any other. I showered, (yes, we do that, despite what you might think - I wash like any other guy- and I wash my hair. I mean, why did Stephenie make it seem like we didn't have to wash at all...Okay, so our scalps don't produce oils anymore, and we don't sweat, but we can still get dirty; and as far as the hair goes - if we put some product in there we still have to wash it out), and got dressed mechanically. Rosalie and Emmett always drove to school together, leaving Alice, Jasper and I in my car, sitting in silence. The silence stemmed mostly from the strange sexual tension that had always existed between Jasper and I (also, more on that later), and the actual brotherly feelings I had towards Alice. I could hear thoughts/read minds, she could see the future and Jasper could read emotions and alter them. Although it always made for an interesting experience when the three of us were together, the ride to school was like driving to my own personal hell everyday. I had expected another day of listening to teachers drone on about things I could have taught them more about; and hearing the thoughts of the idiotic teenagers around me. There was no doubt in my mind that Jessica Stanley would be thinking about making out with me if she could, and even her little friends Angela and Lauren would briefly think of the same. I knew that the boys in my grade would be wishing they could kick my ass, except for Tyler, who would usually be thinking about how bad he wanted to blow me. I'm really not a arrogant guy, I'm actually quite self deprecating and lack self confidence, I never really see myself the way most people do, but I have to admit, I liked the fact that I was usually on a lot of people's minds. It helped me make it though each day, even though none of them ever tried to talk to me, the fact that they thought of me…it proved that I still existed in the human world. But that rainy day, as we arrived at school and crossed the parking lot, my name was nowhere to be heard. No one was thinking of my face, or my ass. Everyone had her name on their minds, and I clearly remember whispering it aloud to myself just to make sure there wasn't anything extraordinary about it. There wasn't, at least not then.
I sat through my classes, paying little attention to the blathering of my professors, to busy scanning the minds of those around me to care. All of them were thinking of her. I tried to see the image of the girl, but I could only gather brief flashes of her face. She was being bombarded by the ravenous mass, all of them so eager to interact with the shiny new toy in school. So there I was, frustrated by the image of the spinning girl, whose face I couldn't see full on, and whose name was swirling through everyone's head.
By the time lunch rolled around the admiration of the girl had reached a fever pitch. Everyone was thinking of her name, thinking of how beautiful she was, and yet I still couldn't see her face clearly. I met the rest of my family outside the cafeteria and we agreed on what we were going to "eat" for lunch. Now, Bella won't admit this, but I'm pretty sure that they had me walking into the cafeteria in slow motion in the "twilight," movie because she totally was seeing me that way in her mind. Alas, I just walked in like a normal guy. I immediately noticed a tinge of a new scent in the air, but it was mixed with so many others then. What's crazy, is that somehow, without even knowing what she actually looked like, my eyes fell right on her face. If I had to breath for oxygen, her face would have taken my breath away. I thought she was gorgeous from the moment I saw her, and as she stared back at me I felt something rumble within me, as if she had awakened a sleeping beast. My family and I sat down at our usual table and I continued to stare at the girl, as she continued to steal glances at me. I concentrated, but heard nothing. Everyone around her was loud and clear, but even as I focused, silence emanated from her mind. I had never, in all my years, come across someone who's thoughts I could not here. I was infatuated immediately. Who was this creature, and why was she immune to my gift? I hadn't had the longing to get close to a human in more years than I could count, and suddenly that was all I wanted.
The bell rang before I knew it, and I headed to Biology class in a daze. For a vampire this is a very strange feeling, as our minds our incredibly sharp, and we can usually focus on multiple tasks at once. I was already in my seat, staring out the window, trying to sort out the things I was feeling, when suddenly a scent…a delicious and intense scent burned in my nostrils. I turned to find her, Bella, walking towards me, the seat next to me being the only empty one in the room. The infatuation I had been feeling had fled my body, and had been replaced by something much more ferocious. Now, if you've read Midnight Sun, you've got a pretty good insight into how I was feeling during that fateful day in Biology class. Her scent, it burned a trail of fire down my throat, and into the pit of my stomach. But what I was feeling, it was much more than the deep desire to grab a hold of the girl and run off to devour her life force. There was a sexual desire. Her face, her body…the way her deep brown hair fell over her slight shoulders, and the way her chocolate brown eyes smoldered as she quickly looked, bewildered, at me. I felt my pants tighten, and I was suddenly furious. I wanted her, in every possible way. I had spent years trying to convince myself that I was not a monster, but she was undoing that just by sitting a foot away from me. I wanted to be the monster. I wanted to fuck her, badly; but even worse her scent was driving me to insanity, daring me to drink the girl dry.
Even now, thinking about what I was feeling, I makes me shudder. Don't get me wrong, there is no comparison to what I feel like when I am with Bella now, its out of this world. But damn, I was pretty sure I would murder someone or burst if I didn't get the hell out of there right away. It took every ounce of will power that I had to not do anything, but I had to think of who my actions would be effecting. My family. I couldn't destroy everything we had built with such selfish acts. So I endured the longest 45 minutes of my existence, quite certain by the end of it that spontaneous combustion was a real thing. I fled, stopping briefly at the office, in attempt to use my charms to persuade the helpless office secretary to let me change my schedule. Anything it took to get away from the she devil who had turned my quiet and calm world upside down. But of course, as you know, she ended up in that same small office. Bella, at the time, had no idea how many lives were almost lost because of my want for her. She knows now of course, and teases me about it, saying should would have had sex with me; even though I was a stranger, and despite the fact that I may have killed innocent people to do it.
I ran from that school…too afraid to face what she had made me feel, made me want.
Alright, I guess that's enough for now. I know I can get too wordy, and I tend to get caught up in the moment, so I may go on about things more than necessary. But I'll try to pop in as often as possible to post more blog entries, and I'm going to try coinciding with what Bella's topic is too. That way you can get both views.
- Edward