Summary: He needs her. Terribly. He's fighting death and she will be there for him, whispering 'keep holding on' to him…. Please read. Two-shot. :D PS: Sequel of With You.
Disclaimer: No, I am not J. K. Rowling. She's the author of Harry Potter series. She is, I tell you. You HAVE to believe me! :P
A/N: Pure imagination. I don't even know if something like this had happened. So, yeah, imagination. :D
Oh, and this is a sequel of 'With You'. I also mentioned this story a bit in 'What if…?'
"Is he fine?" Hermione Granger asked Ginny Weasley anxiously.
Ginny looked at Hermione and her brother, Ron, with tear-filled eyes.
"I don't know…" she whimpered.
"Aww, Gin…" Hermione beckoned her like a mother, inviting her for a hug. Ginny flew to her and sobbed softly.
"What happened?" Ron asked, trying hard to not sound frightened.
"I-I dunno, Ron. I just don't know. I came home, and there, laying still on the floor, I found Harry in a pool of blood. Apparently he tried to… oh…." Ginny lowered lips trembled even harder.
Ron looked at his sister, wondering what she must have seen that had terrified her so. It wasn't like Ginny to be so out of control and such a wreck. He felt a surge of sympathy for his kid sister.
He needed to find out what had happened.
Ginny paced the corridor; thinking everything through. She knew that Harry was suffering from depression. She was aware that Harry had been experiencing terrible nightmares. He woke up every night in sweat, gasping and breathing hard. Then Ginny would comfort him and tell him that everything will be fine, and he would cling to her like a child, his face stricken. That helplessness would frustrate her. She didn't know what they could possibly do. Hermione had told her of "therapist" in the Muggle world who helped people but none was available here. And there was no point in taking Harry to a Muggle psychologist. They weren't too likely to understand what was happening and what he was suffering with. So Ron, Hermione, and Ginny tried to distract Harry. Take him out sometimes, talk to him about the War. That was Hermione's idea. She had been reading those Muggle books and she said that they advised the 'patient' to talk as much as possible about what he/she was going through to slowly let out his emotions.. So they tried. But….
It was the little get-together that Harry and Ginny had to celebrate their engagement. After a delicious dinner and dessert, the four friends were enjoying coffee when Hermione decided to put her plan in action.
"You know, last night, I was thinking about the War…." she began.
Harry gave her a curious look.
"I do too sometimes…" Ginny spoke up, catching on.
"So, I was thinking, what -- well, you all must have suffered some kind of mental trauma…." Hermione continued, hesitating a bit.
Ron sighed, "Who didn't, Mione? Who didn't? I couldn't believe Fred was gone. I would just, just start saying something like, 'Oh, Fred must have done this.' And then realize that he wasn't there to do it…."
"And, I would feel a shock every time I saw George without Fred. It looked like a half picture done…" Ginny whispered.
Hermione looked at them all silently and then turned to Harry and said… "Harry, you didn't feel anything?"
"Me? Hermione… I numbed myself. And, really, I had been suffering death of a loved one, a friend since… forever. My entire life has been like that. Why would I feel 'traumatized'? Oh this was just norm. Regular. Happens everyday to me!" he said with such sarcasm, such bitter sarcasm that Hermione looked at him in shock; she had been struck dumb for she wasn't expecting a response like that.
"I… Harry, I didn't mean to…"
"No, I am sorry. I shouldn't have… I've got to go…" Harry mumbled, leaving the three of them looking shocked and worried.
Ginny sighed. She was past the stage of tears and breaking down. Her inner self was reminding her that she really should have been expecting that. The symptoms were all there. They knew he was suffering inside, that he was 'suffocating' like he had once cried to her after one of his nightmares.
But nothing could've prepared her for what she found when she went home this evening. Nothing could have….
It had been a hectic day, it had started with Harry being unusually quiet. He looked a bit ill, so Ginny had decided that he shouldn't go to his Aurors' training school today; thus, she left Harry with a tender kiss to leave for Quidditch practice sessions with her team, the Holyhead Harpies.
--
She arrived at her place in London around 6'o clock, exhausted and weary of the paparazzi, who as usual, tailed her everywhere she went.
The house was eerily quiet. Ginny wondered where Harry was…
"Harry? Honey?"
No response.
"Honey…? Harry !!" she was starting to feel a bit panicked.
No answer, still.
She searched every room frantically, looking for a sign of Harry; not here, not here, no, not over here as well.
'Where is he !?' her mind screamed at her.
'Ok, Ginny, calm down, calm doooown. He must be somewhere…chill.' she tried to console herself and finally looked in the master bathroom.
Her heart stopped.
'No, no, no, no!'
She approached him slowly. He was lying there, on the cold floor, and she hoped that he was only unconscious. As she came closer, she saw that his hands were soaked with blood, his glasses askew, he was deathly pale. Her scared eyes took in the arm… the cut arm.
Harry Potter had cut himself. His nerve, to be exact...
"Oh, Merlin! Harry! NO!" Ginny screamed.
Ginny closed her eyes, that memory was going to one of the most painful parts of her nightmare. The nightmare that she always had on the night of Fred's death anniversary…
"Why, Harry, why?" she whispered.
But why he did it, she didn't know, what she did know was that he needed her. Now, more than ever. She should have paid more attention to him… thinking back, she didn't even know why she never told her mother about it. Maybe Mrs. Weasley would have known something about depression therapy that she didn't. Oh how could she have been so dumb !?
She leaned against the wall and sighed forlornly.
(Meanwhile)
"Yes, Healer Jones, what exactly is wrong with Harry?" Ron anxiously asked Healer Jones.
"Well…" Hr. Jones started, "Harry sliced open his nerves on his right hand, obviously, it is an attempted suicide. Healer Swift and I are trying our best to do whatever we can; but Potter has lost a lot of blood, also, he performed a charm on his arm that is making it very hard for us to preserve the blood…" he licked his lips looking a bit harried.
"Oh…" Ron mumbled, shocked. "Erm, well, thanks, Hr. Jones…"
'Suicide? Harry, oh Merlin. Why, Harry, why !?' Ron wondered, shocked.
(5 hours later)
"Healer Swift, is Harry fine now?" Hermione asked Hr. Swift nervously.
"Well, we have stopped the blood. And also performed the counter hex. We hope that he will soon be conscious again. We can't say right now about his condition though. For all we know, Harry could go into the deep sleep. If he does that, then well, we aren't so sure what we will do then…" Swift said helplessly.
"Oh, dear…"
"Yes."
"Hermione, Ginny, we have to do something." Ron told the two worried girls.
"What?" Hermione asked.
"One: in the morning, we have to inform Dad, Mom and the rest of the family."
"Of course."
"Two: Find a way to keep this news out of the media. The Prophet would have a field day if they found that … that… Harry tried to, uh, attempt suicide." he looked worriedly at Ginny.
"Crap." Hermione cursed.
"Yeah…"
"Harry wouldn't want the kids to know about this. This will only discourage them… I mean, their hero trying to end his own life? That is definitely not what he would want the younger generation to know… After all, Harry Potter has forever been a source of inspiration and motivation for the survivors of the War…" Ginny spoke up.
Hermione nodded her head in agreement and Ron clapped his hands once to show finality.
"Good. So… suggestions on how we can prevent this from happening?"
"First: Inform the doctors, I mean , healers that they are not to say anything. Any progress or news is to be told to you, me or Ginny." Hermione directed, taking charge.
"Yes and that Harry is to be shifted to a private high security room." Ginny continued.
"Got it." Ron said.
"That no reporter/media/stranger/animal/ person is to be allowed in there except for the three of us and the other Weasley family members who are only going to be allowed if, and only if, they are with one of us." Ginny ordered.
Ron nodded grimly. "Anything else?"
"Rita Skeeter is NOT to be allowed within 1,000 ft. of the ward." Hermione whispered fiercely.
"Yes!" Ginny agreed.
"Yep, thanks, you two," Ron bid them goodbye as he left.
"This is so messy…" Hermione sighed.
"I hate the media…" Ginny growled savagely.
Hermione looked at her in pity as Ginny continued, "Seriously, they never left him alone! I mean, oh ugh, they have been after him since he was like… fourteen! He has been looked down upon, faced rejection, brutal treatment, unfriendliness, since the day he has been born! Why, then, tell me, would somebody want to be the 'Chosen One'? It has ruined his life! Though Voldemort is gone, he has still ruined Harry's life…" Ginny cried, tearing up.
Hermione gave her yet another warm hug, trying hard to make her best friend feel better.
(The next morning)
"Ginny!" cried a shrill voice as somebody came running up to the youngest Weasley. (not really the youngest anymore, at least not in this timeframe)"Mum!" cried Ginny
"Ohhhh, Gin, sweety, no, don't cry!" she comforted her as she stroked her daughter's red, silky thick hair.
'Harry loves to run his fingers through them…' Ginny gasped as more tears fell out.
Mrs. Weasley looked worriedly at Mr. Weasley. Ginny was behaving in a very un-Ginny-like way. It wasn't like her to be so emotional…. But then ….this was Harry they talking about here. Everybody knew how they loved each other….
"Ginny, was there something going on that you hadn't told us about?" Moll Weasley looked at Ginny piercingly.
"Mum… I… well…. Yes. Harry was having terrible nightmare. Again. He used to have those in his fifth year. Only this time, they were much, much worse, mother. And, well, he was also suffering from depression." Ginny mumbled, abashed.
"What!? And you didn't get him treated!?"
"I… there isn't any help available here, is there, mother?"
"Of course there is!"
"W-what?"
"Yes. Right here in St. Mungo's. They had healers for emotional issues. George was taking help, Gin…"
"Merlin."
"You didn't know?""No!"
"You didn't even try to find out…?"
Ginny groaned.
"No…."
"Ginny!"
"I know, mum."
"Ooooohhhhh. Ugh!"
"I am sorry…"
"You better be. Now just pray that Harry doesn't go into deep sleep… then we can get him some help. Nice fiancée you are..." she growled.
'This is going all wrong…' Ginny sighed, miserable. One moment, everything was OK, now all is just…falling apart.
"Ron, I can't believe this. How could I have been so stupid…?" Hermione Granger worriedly looked at her fiancé.
"Stupid? You? How?" he asked blankly.
"Well, I heard Mrs. Weasley telling Ginny that they do have therapist here. Right here, in fact, in Mungo's…"
"But you wouldn't have known!"
"How couldn't I? I, who had read thousands of books, who has so much knowledge, didn't know something like that? And I couldn't even bother reading some wizard books instead of those dumb Muggle books that didn't help even a bit!"
"Mione. Don't blame yourself. You can still say that you wouldn't have known since nobody in your family is Wizard or has mental issues, or is a Wizard with mental issues. But… my own brother George! And I didn't know!? Ooohhhh. How….?!"
"Suppose you two stop blaming yourself?" Mr. Weasley suggested in a tired voice as he, Mrs. Weasley, and George walked over to the couple.
Hermione looked down at the floor, and Ron looked at them curiously.
"You two shouldn't blame yourself because both of you were young, immature and inexperienced at handling something like this. So was Ginny. What you three SHOULD blame yourself for is not informing your mother and me that Harry was suffering. Harry will not be blamed because he, as usual, didn't tell anybody about his problems. He never does. That is the major problem with him!" Mr. Weasley continued.
Both of them looked at Arthur Weasley ridiculously.
"Dad, we are adults! How can you call us 'young' and 'immature'? Mind you, we are twenty-four!" Ron protested childishly.
"Adults, yes. Mature, no. Age has nothing to do with maturity, m'dear."
"Moving on!" Mrs. Weasley hinted loudly.
"Yes, moving on, what exactly was Harry going through?" Arthur asked curiously.
"Well, we told you before. Nightmares. Numbness. Bitter words. Pessimistic outlook to life, touchy, and on and on…Basically, very un-Harry-like behaviour."
George sighed. "We have to be there for him now, you hear?"
All of them nodded resolutely.
(The Next Morning)
"Ginny! Ginny!" Ron cried excitedly to his sister.
"What?"
"They're allowing visitors in there."
"He is awake..?" she asked hopefully.
"Well, he wouldn't go in the deep sleep, that's for sure. He's out of danger.. But when he will wake up and talk and stuff, they can't predict. But Hr. Swift said that his family and friends can visit him. Seven at a time. So you, I, Hermione, Dad, Mum, Neville, and George can go in there." Ron grinned at her.
"No, I will not go with you. Take Luna instead."
"Why?"
"I--I … want to go alone…"
"Oh, that's fine."
Ginny watched as the excited crowd of seven entered the room. She was terribly afraid of what she will find when she went in there.
The visiting time was thirty minutes.. Meaning they were going to be in there that long , wanting to spend as much time with him as they could. Meanwhile, she decided to go in the cafeteria and get herself a cup of coffee.
(25 minutes later)
Ginny Weasley stood in front of her love. He looked so serene, so calm and at rest that it was painful. She realized that she should have been there for him when he needed her… And she promised herself that she will be there for him forever.
Ginny took a seat next to him, and held his hand.
"Harry… I am sorry. I… was I that terrible ? Did you not care for me at all ? Why did you try to leave me all alone, Harry? Don't you know that I need you. That you are my anchor. That if you leave me then… I'll….die, Harry. I am so, so, so sorry that I wasn't enough. That I couldn't relieve you of that pain when you needed it to be gone. I am sorry that I couldn't … help you. I am sorry." she squeezed his hands tightly as tears seeped put and fell on his hands.
"I am sorry."
And she fled the building in tears. "Whaaaa, Gin…?" Hermione called after her but she didn't hear. She kept running, going wherever her feet took her. Her feet pounded the hard cold marble floor and she nearly tripped on the stairs as she finally made it out of St. Mungo's.
The cold wind soothed her frenzied mind. She sank on the ground, weeping uncontrollably.
"Harry….!!"
A.N: Depressing ? I know. But I always wondered how Harry could be that strong. And I had a feeling that sometimes in his adult life, he had to crack ! Sorry, I was always anti-angst, depressing stories. In fact, on this site, I almost always read the humor/romance stories first.
Oh, and I had no idea what depressed people do, or their symptoms. I just… made up some. (looks innocent)
I dunno how I am at writing this genre. I hope it's OK. All type of reviews appreciated. Will update really soon. As soon as I get two-three reviews. ;)
Thanks for reading!
Ginny. :D
The seriously AWESOME BETA is : Xx.siriusly.lily.xX
A really, really rocking person, y'all. Believe me ! :)