Full credits go to my awesome friend Travis R. Beam who wrote this random story.
Mario :Mama mia it'sa time for another episode of the My Little Pony Tryouts were all sorts of interesting people try to become the next My Little Pony today's contestants are Leon S. Kennedy, Ada Wong, and of course Jack krauser from the ever so popular gamming serious resident evil! they will have to compete in 4 random surprise test!!! let's get started.
krauser: I'm not wearing a pony outfit
leon: I'm gonna agree with krauser I'm not wearing a pony outfit
mario: u have to wear the costume its part of being a pretty pony!
leon: um...no I'm not wearing it
krauser: yeah I refuse want me to snap your little neck u short obese bastard
mario: imma sowwie there please don't hurt the host u still have to wear the costume
ada: even I'm not wearing the stupid costume
leon:yeah I don't agree with these two on anything else but I must agree here no pony costume for me
mario: *grabs giant mushroom and eats it turns huge*PUT THE FUCKING COSTUMES ON NOW!!!!
leon: *un holsters his pistol and shoots mario* there now who is gonna wear the costume?
mario:*floats off screen as he often does when he dies*
ada: great now we have no host y the hell u go and kill him for?
krauser: yeah man I mean I tried to take over the world and turn all mankind into mutant freaks and I think that was a little low man come on
leon: shut the fuck up I'm running this show by the way we need a new host
*luigi walks in with a mini gun*
luigi: youa killed mya brother die u son of a bitches!!!!!!
luigi: *tries to start shooting not realizing that he forgot to put any bullets in it*what the hella isa wronga with this stupid thing
krauser: it would help if u had bullets in it I mean I'm no expert...wait I am anyhow yeah it would help to have some bullets
leon: yup bullets need them
ada: I agree
lugi:ill be right backa *walks away*
20 minutes later
krauser: so why the fuck are we even here at a my little gay ass pony thing?
leon: that's a great question I have not got a clue in fact I don't even really remember what happened this morning in fact I don't remember anything
ada: um yeah me either
leon: ahh probably nuttin anyhow anyone want a cookie?
krauser: me me me me me me give me a cookie b4 I cut your throught open
leon: you know we coulda still been friends b4 u tried the hole world domination evil twisted thing going on
krauser: u know what I don't get
leon: what?
krauser: u killed me in Resident evil 4 remember?
leon: oh I did didn't I huh how are u here again??
krauser: yeah wow this is weird
ada: I feel left out of this conversation...
krauser and leon: SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH
ada: gosh...alright....douchebags
40 minutes later
ada: why don't we just leave?
leon: um...why didn't we think of that?
*luigi walks in with his mini gun this time loaded*
luigi: this timea I will killa you youa son of a bit......*he hits the floor with a thud
leon: reholsters his gun* what he was gonna kill us I had to make the first move god damn
ada: dude are u on your period or something?
leon: no
krauser: wow man I've never seen u this brutal what's wrong
leon: man I haven't been laid in like 3 years so lay the fuck off
krauser: aww dude that sucks balls I mean I have a deformed arm and like I still got a lady back home and wait a minute aren't we still on this game show thing?
ada: I think so but I'm not sure really idk, I'm enjoying watching u to be a couple of dumbass's
*a bright yellow pony with devil looking horns atop his head walks into the room*
* the room turns black*
*three spotlights turn on leon ada and krauser and one on the evil looking pony*
pony: *clears his throught* *starts to speak in a extremely deep and rough voice* you three have been selected to be the leaders of our Little Pony agency
leon: what the fuck?? little pony agency??
pony: yes Little Isolated Tittie Town Evenly for Porn stars n you
ada: what the fuck?! I thought u were children's toys?
pony: had the hole world fooled my plan was going great until the stupid build a bear came in town and ruined me I now have nothing more than a few ponys and I need you to be my new stars
krauser: whoa whoa whoa u want us to fuck ponys? what wait whoa this is like holy shit wow\
pony: we have beautiful ponys that will do anything for you
leon: *shoots the pony* no fucking way trying to get me in a pony costume and trying to get me to fuck a pony in the same day? what the fuck? no way no no no no no no no what the fuck can I not lead a normal fucking life if it's not a zombie invasion it's a top secret mission or pony sex what the fuck did I do the deserve this shit why am I rambling on about my crappy life!!
krauser: man calm do.....*alarm sounds*....what is that
leon: pfft who know Winnie the pooh probably wants a blow job now
ada: no no no look!
*hundreds of ponys all loaded down with guns start marching in the room*
leon: see what I mean see look at this shit!
krauser: I think we can take them
ada: *grabs lugi's mini gun* yes we can!!
ponys: halt halt halt ready aim fire
ada:*starts mowing down the ponys*
ponys: no no no stop!!! what the fuck!! stop!!
ada: no u sobs are tryin to kill us
ponys: no no no its leons birthday!!! this is a surprise party!!!
leon: what the fuck!!! god dammit what the fuck!!! ada stop shooting already
ada: um...should we trust them?
leon: yeah..I guess
krauser: wow this is truly fucked up even by my own standards
leon: grabs a pony in a choke hold* who set all this up! tell me I can easily kill u right now slowly!
pony: cough....presidents...cough.....daughter....
leon: ashley dammit ashley...I hate that bitch!*accidently snaps pony's neck and drops him* ehh its better for him
*ashley walks in*
Ashley: leon!! leon!! leon!! leon!! leon!! leon!! leon!! leon!!leo....*she falls to the floor*
leon: say my name again bitch I fuckin dare you ill kill u next time
krauser: ooooooook leon u have officially become a sociopath good job buddy good job
ada: *slowly walking towards the nearest exit*bye bye leon bye krauser bye ashley I'm.....I'm....going to leave now.....*runs out door*
krauser: so what now....
leon: I don't know think she'll be ok?
krauser: ehh she should be u didn't hit her that hard shoulda used your hand though the butt of your gun is kinda brutal
*ada runs back in*ZOMBIES!!!!
leon: fucking great on my birthday*un-holsters gun* here we go again......