He had to hold his breath when he first saw her. Amber eyes speckled with gold and hair that's color could only be described as tangerine. She was a strong soldier, determined, loyal, eager to please. He admired her too little and too much at the same time.
Rivaille fell in love.
Her name rolled off of his tongue with ease and when he first kissed her she tasted pleasant, something between sugar and lime. Her fingers fit perfectly between his, fingertips smooth but callouses littering her palms. He kissed them with care and whispered sweet words into her ear, marveling at her shuddering breaths.
He forgot they were human.
Her position was unforgving, back arched with her front pressed harshly against the grainy surface of the tree. Her neck was bent too far and Rivaille thought for a moment that maybe it has snapped. Golden strands fell past her cheeks, sticking just below her chin in gathered pools of dried blood. Her hair was stained scarlet and her once bright eyes had dulled to a bitter lemon.
They were too strong.
His thoughts slowed at the sight of her battered form and a silent rage welled in his gut. His expression remained unchanging, unbroken. His heart however had crumbled into clouded dust, ash rising through his chest as he resisted the urge to vomit. He bit back emotions and moved on further- Jaeger was in need of saving.
Humanity's last hope, but not his.
He was at least safe, slime clinging to the side of his jacket as he loaded him into the carriage. His horse kept up a steady trot in the gears in his mind slowed to a hum. He hung his head low, hair hanging past his cold grey eyes. When they re-entered the city he was practically dragging his feet, a new ringing erupting in his ears. He heard clips of chopped sentences from the man beside him. He looked familiar.
"-Petra's father," "-Admired you so much," "-Too young for marriage,"
All other words blurred together and he skipped hours. He slipped out of his subconscious state when he got to his quarters, dressed in pristine white sleep clothing and water droplets clinging to his lashes from his recent bath. His fingers were clutching the sheets, eyes burning with tears as they came. They fell messily onto his lap but he didn't let them stop. A sob shook through him and his shoulders bunched and trembled, pressing his face into his palms. Her last words to him were imbedded into his brain, so carefully chosen and eyes soft.
"I love you, corporal."