Heeeeeey, guess what new fandom has eaten away my brain. Yep.

Anyways, a lil thing that practically wrote itself. And made me laugh all the way to the end. Hope you like it!


Dipper was starting to have trouble to comprehend how was this his life now.

But first, a little context:

Mabel had bought the movie back in Piedmont, and mostly just for the title and the painfully flashy cover. Dipper had been unwillingly roped into watching it with her that same night. So he already knew how it went, and how terrible it was.

(Mabel had started to laugh during the ten first minutes of the movie, and hadn't stopped until the movie was already over for half an hour. Then she'd made him watch it again.)

That had been when they were fifteen. Which made Dipper wonder if Mabel had saved the movie in a special box for the future, and if she'd (and this was a slightly terrifying thought) predicted they would someday be in a semi-friendly agreement with a certain triangular demon that'd starred their nightmares for years before.

The world was weird, but Mabel always managed to one-up it somehow, so it was a possibility.

Anyway, Mabel had just popped up with the movie in hand and a smile from ear to ear, and Dipper (who'd been comparing notes with what Bill was telling him while trying to discern what was serious and what was Bill being a triangular dick) had taken a second too late to recognize the movie, the content and what his impeding sense of doom meant.

He'd paid it dearly. Namely, being dragged into watching the piece of crap, 'for the memories'. That Mabel had called it 'one of their childhood movies' had been insulting enough. (Also, trying to argue with her that the movie had come out when they were teens and thus couldn't logically be part of their childhood was useless. But then again, Mabel still thought of herself as a child on most days, looming twenty-fifth birthday non-withstanding.)

From there on things had gotten weird. Like, really, really weird, and really, really fast.

Which was how Dipper found himself trying to take in the fact that he had a lap full of sobbing demon at the moment.

And it sounded like a very distressed demon, if the eldritch wails and muffled sobs coming out of the cat-sized triangle clinging to his shirt was something to go with.

"Um," was Dipper's brilliant commentary. An explosion sounded from the still ongoing movie, and another sob wracked through the triangle huddled against his stomach.

Dipper sent Mabel a bewildered and panicked stare.

And hell, even Mabel was looking at Bill wide-eyed and completely unable to understand just what the fuck was going on.

"Uh, Bill?" Mabel asked, able to regain the ability in her vocal chords before Dipper.

Bill made a shushing noise.

"It's the best part, Shooting Star, quiet."

Dipper looked at his sister and wordlessly asked her if she'd just heard the same thing.

Mabel's concerned frown went up, and she shrugged at him in a way that clearly expressed 'I have no flipping idea what's going on' and a touch of 'heck, I don't even know if I should be scared'.

"Bill, you're not even watching," Dipper said, arms flopping awkwardly around him, unable to decide if he should try to comfort (? ? ?) the obviously upset triangle (? ? ? ? ? ? ?), or if that would risk him getting another hole in the stomach, this time in the physical plane.

Just, what the heck.

"I'm always watching," answered Bill, and Dipper narrowed his eyes at what he could swear was a sulky tone. Coming from Bill Cipher.

"Don't you like the movie or?" Mabel asked, looking from the screen (where thousand of spaceships were being blown up in a midst of bad and ridiculously over-the-top special effects and mad cackling) to the triangle huddled in her brother's lap. Who was still making eerie noises in sync with the explosions. "Because we can choose another on-"

"Ņ̦̗̪̞̏̚o̎́," the demon said, and both Dipper and Mabel tensed for a moment, recognizing the dangerous tone. Then Bill continued, and his voice was again that 'trying to sound steady while chocking back tears' that was freaking Dipper out so much. "I like this movie, it's just. It's so full of emotion. It's difficult to believe you meat-sacks made it, it's so good."

Dipper squinted at Bill. Squinted at the movie.

Looked at Mabel with a 'what the fuck' expression.

Mabel was sporting the same face.

Bill made another sound worthy of Tchutchlu himself, and Dipper let his arms flop down at his sides in surrender.

So a trashy sci-fi movie named 'Nacho Attack' about corn chip-shaped aliens that got themselves eaten and then took over the human's mind made Bill Cipher emotional. Okay then.

(Honestly, Dipper didn't want to know. He wanted some brain-bleach, though.)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

(Much later, and near the ending, Dipper would hear Bill whisper 'it's like my life. In a way.' and would suddenly and fervently wish he'd fucking brought booze with him instead of a soda.

What was his life even.)