Disclaimer: I don't own Fma...However, I DO own a naruto headband! tee hee! I'm wearing it right now!

Once upon a time, there was a little green boy. His name was Edward Elric! But most people just called him Ed. Ed was a small green boy with gold eyes and blonde hair. His best friends name was Scar. Scar was a small green boy with red eyes.Scar was also moderatly smexy. Ed and Scar used to play for countless hours in the nice soft green pastures. They also had a sidekick named Alfons Heidnrich. Alfons was usually considered to be ultra friggin shmexy. But that was just the silly authors opinion. Silly author!

Ed sat down in the lush green pastures of his country home. He lived in..um...Kansas! Yeah that's it! Kansas...Scar and Alfons sat down next to him. At that moment, Scar pointed out a fact that they all had been neglecting for a while.

" We have antennaes.Do you think we're aliens Ed?" Asked Scar. Ed shrugged.

" I dunno. We might be. But then again, aren't all humans green with antennae?" pondered Ed. Alfons shook his head.

" I don't think so." he said," I mean, I don't have green skin OR antennaes..."

Ed nodded. That didn't make sense, but what the hell? He might as well go along with it...or maybe he could just ask an all knowing adult he happened to know!

"We should ask farmer Mustang!" Ed suggested. Scar and Alfons agreed so they walke dover to farmer mustang.

" Farmer Mustang? Why are we green when Alfons isn't?" asked Ed.

" Ed, why did you and Scar paint yourselves green? And why are you in my office?" Roy asked lazily. Ed lifted an eyebrow.

" What're you talkin' bout farmer Musatng?" he asked.

" And stop calling me that."

" Calllin' you what?"

" Farmer Musatng that's what!"

" But that's yer name ain't it?"

" Ed...get out of here." said Roy, and he threw them out the window.

" Well now what?" asked Scar.

" Now, we go ask Barry the Merhcant!" suggested Alfons. Ed nodded in approval.

And so, the three of them went to go ask Barry the merchant.

" Exsuce me? Barry the merchant? Why are Scar and Ed green when i'm not?" Asked Alfons. Barry lifted an eyebrow.

" Who are you and why are you talking to me?" he asked calmly.

" I'm Alfons heidrich. I like rockets, coughing up blood, and my friends Scar and Ed."

" Ok ok. Shut up."

" But why are my friends green?"

" I don't know. But I DO know that right now I'm busy chopping up this Tucker guy, so leave me alone!" said Barry, and he pushed them along.

Ed frowned.

" NOW who are we supposed to ask?" he questioned.

" How about That vampire who lives on the outskirts of town?" Suggested Scar. Alfons and Ed smiled.

" Yeah! He'll know something for sure!" they said in unison. And so, they went to the outskirts of town to where they heard a vampire lived.

" Excuse me? Mister vampire man? Do you know why me and Ed are green, but Alfons isn't?" asked Scar. The vampire glanced at him and turned back to his overly large, evil looking computer.

There was a short pause...and then...

" Um..Mister Vampire?" Scar said, tugging on the vampires cape thing. The vampie sighed and turned around in his swivel chair.

" Okay okay okay, first of all don't call me mister vampire. Call me Kain. Second of all, Yes, I do know why you and your friend Ed are green, but Alfons isn't." said Kain. Alfons, Ed, and Scar smiled happily.

" why? Please tell us Kain!" They begged. Kain sighed.

" Very well, it'll best be described...with a short story..." said the vampire, and he began to tell them the story of the The music teacher, The pepsi can, and the little Irken...

That was chapter one of a two chapter fanfic. Just look at what I've done! I've created a monster!...Just reveiw okay?