The "Perfect" High School
An exclusive Journey Throught It
Angel Story Sand High School, was, is, and always will be the perfect high school. Filled with
hunky jocks, and homecoming queens, they were the ideal high school. Sure, beauty wasn't an issue.
Want to know what the other issue is? I'm not going to tell, you, you're going to have to find out. Here is
a look into the 11th grade advanced math class:
"What is 2 X 2, class?" asked the teacher, Mrs.Stonewater.
A enthusiastic, gorgeous girl raised her hand.
"Yes, Sandra?" asked Mrs.Stonewater with exaggerated happiness.
"Uh, 4?" she asked. Sandra was the smartest one in the class.
"Yes! Good job Sandra! You get a sticker!"
"A sticker! Oh joy!" exclaimed Sandra dumbly.
"Ok, here's a harder one. 5 X 5?" That was the teacher, in case you are as dumb as the
students at Angel Story Sand High School.
Only Sandra's hand shot up.
Mrs.Stonewater said nicely," Someone besides Sandra?"
A jock raised his hand.
Mrs.Stonewater suggested," Why don't you put it on the board?"
A laugh erupted when they saw his letterman jacket with the school initials. You get the picture.
Trying to be funny, the teacher said," What a donkey," when he put 5 X 5 = 78 on the board.
They all thought this was hilarious. Finally, Mrs.Stonewater got fed up, told us to leave and so
we carried on into the hallways when the bell rang.
We came upon another beauty queen who was lounging around a very annoyed guy.
"Come on, Vicki, let's go there and do it tonight!" suggested the guy.
"No, Greg, I don't want to. I'm not ready." said the girl, Vicki.
Now one of our crew decided to jump right in and ask," This is a typical high school decision, the leap into becoming adults. What are
your views?"
The guy asked stupidly,"What are you talking about? We just want to go to that new fast food place Vicki here," he said pointing at
her," thinks we should just go to that old fast food place."
"Its McDonalds, idiot." she reminded him.
"So that's what its called." he exclaimed, happily.
Now we decide to scope out more, how do we put it, intelligent couples. When I say this into the camera, everyone coughs. Quite weird.
Ok, now we are listening in on a "girl talk."
"Hey girl, you know its tradition to dance with your old boyfriends at every dance." we heard a beautiful African American say to this
stunning brunette.
" I know, but I'm afraid it will happen again."
"What will happen again?" I probed.
"He thinks its a joke, but he stinks up the whole room." she whispered confidentially.
"Oh, and which one of these guys what it be? And is this your new boyfriend or your old boyfriend?"
"Hmmm................. I think he's my 5th one this week..........I'm not sure." she says
"No girl, he's your 7th." says her friend.
" Really? But my boyfriend's Bill, isn't he?" she asks.
"Uh, no girl, your boyfriend's Steve." she informs the brunette.
"Oh my god! He's the blonde one that I've had a crush on for years! Are we really going out?" she asks excitedly.
"Yeah, girl, wake up and smell the coffee. Bill was 3 years ago!" the feisty African American says.
"Oh Wow, they make coffee at this school?" is all her friend can say.
We decide to leave now, and since some of the camera crew ::glares accusingly:: started coughing words such as player, whore,
slut, etc., we decided to get the hell out of there.
The bell rings. Its not a bell, it is a song, that goes, "A, S, S, who is the best, A, S, S is the best! Go Angel Story Sand High!"
I remind myself to tell the principal to get a sanity certificate.
Next, we find a gym class inside playing basketball. Ahhh, finally something normal.
The teacher was yelling, "Two more minutes on the clock!"
Then I realized something was wrong when I saw the girls fouling really bad. Oh, the horror, the horror. The hair-pulling, the screaming,
and the slapping. I asked the teacher," Should they be doing that?"
"Of course! They don't know how else to play!" laughed the teacher.
They didn't even shoot it into the net, they shot it into a little wooden basket.
The teacher yelled," Into the showers ladies!"
I tried to follow but that wouldn't let me in.
I heard the teacher scream, so I ran, basically.
Next, a science classroom. It looked normal, with normal students, looking normally bored, and the teacher normally boring.
Wait until you hear what he was talking about.
"Ok, so this water is something called H2O." The teacher said.
"Wait, repeat that again?" asked a tall guy in the back row.
"Its H20."
"Ohhhhh......." he said.
"Wow" The class said, mesmerized.
"Now, this is part of a thing called the water cycle."
"oooooooooh." was the class' reaction. The teacher, Mr.Stonewater, it said on his tag, looked pleased and decided to go for it and ask,
"Does anyone know what the water cycle is?"
"Noooooo." was the class' response.
Suddenly a girl raised her hand. The teacher got on his knees and started to praise the Lord.
After 15 minutes of Hail Mary's, he got up and called on her.
She was, at this point, already jumping up and down and it was obvious she wanted to go to the bathroom, not answer Question 101.
Of course, this teacher was just as demented as his students ( with the exception of knowing what the water cycle is), so he asked
,"The answer, Jane?"
She goes,"I just wanna pee." and runs out of the room.
At this point I slap myself.
I stay conscious long enough to hear Mr.Stonewater announce," The chemical equation of water will be the quiz tomorrow. Remember
what water is!"
Hey! Guess what? When I finally wake up, its homecoming the next year! So anyway, the nominees
are that brunette who was a player, her name is Sarah Maries, Danielle Stoned, Angelina Foiled, and
Butty Kicked.
We take a look into their lives, with interviews.
Sarah Maries:
Q:What do you think is the biggest issue when it comes to homecoming?
A:*giggle*
Q: Ok, what's your GPA?
A: 0.7
Q: Is that good or bad?
A: Hey, that's outstanding in this school!
Q: Really.
A: Yes
Q: So which courses are you failing?
A: Biology, Mechanics, Phys.Ed, Math, Bowling, Home Ec, History, English Lit.
Q: Are you NOT failing any courses?
A: Yeah.......
Q: And this lucky class would be....
A: Lunch! hahahahahahaha
Note: This interview had to be stopped because of uncontrollable laughter. Please excuse this inconvience
Poppy Stoned
Q: You must get a lot of teasing from your name, so are you really on drugs?
A: Uh, off the record, uh, yes.
Q: Oh, well, are you pregnant?
A: Uh, yes.
Q: Do you smoke?
A: Uh, yes.
Q: Are you an achoholic?
A: Uh, yes.
Q: Are you stupid?
A:Uh, yes.
Q: Are you failing every course?
A: Uh, yes.
Note: THIS interview stopped for obvious reasons. Please excuse the inconvenience.
Angelina Foiled
Q: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Angelina Jolie?
A: Are you saying my lips are big?
Q: No, I'm just saying you're-um, very gorgeous, heehee.
A: All right, let's get this over with. I've got a wrestling match next period.
Q: Oh, well, then are you hoping you are going to win?
A: Well, yes, I hope to slam those boys and get them in their *censored*! hehehehehehehe And then I plan
to-
Q: I was referring to the homecoming queen race.
A: OH! right ok, yeah I don't really care you know.
Note: I think, once again, the reason is obvious. Please excuse the stupidity of these girls.
Butty Kicked.
Q: hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha love your name, Butty! hahahahahahahahahahahaah
A: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, thank you.
Q: So how do you feel about this homecoming nomination?
A: I just want world peace.
Q: Are you, by any chance, in the Miss Teen Pageant?
A: I just want world peace.
Q: I'll take that as a yes. So, for originality, what do you think you're gonna get?
A: The Miss Congeniality sash! *waves* Thank you so much! *sob*
Q: So how are you today?
A: World-peacy. hehehehehehehe
Note: These interviews are getting on my friggin nerves, that's why! Please excuse the dementia of these
stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, girls!
Hey guess who won homecoming? Well, let's see- Sarah Maries was having some Ahem-
trouble in school. Poppy Stoned got pregnant and was kicked out when the school found out she had
septuplets and the father was Mr.Stonewater. Angelina Foiled was "foiled" in her wrestling match,
and Butty Kicked died of depression (Note: World Peace is not good).
So I guess we can make the conclusion that no one won and that Angel Story Sand High surely
is the perfectest high school in the world!
An exclusive Journey Throught It
Angel Story Sand High School, was, is, and always will be the perfect high school. Filled with
hunky jocks, and homecoming queens, they were the ideal high school. Sure, beauty wasn't an issue.
Want to know what the other issue is? I'm not going to tell, you, you're going to have to find out. Here is
a look into the 11th grade advanced math class:
"What is 2 X 2, class?" asked the teacher, Mrs.Stonewater.
A enthusiastic, gorgeous girl raised her hand.
"Yes, Sandra?" asked Mrs.Stonewater with exaggerated happiness.
"Uh, 4?" she asked. Sandra was the smartest one in the class.
"Yes! Good job Sandra! You get a sticker!"
"A sticker! Oh joy!" exclaimed Sandra dumbly.
"Ok, here's a harder one. 5 X 5?" That was the teacher, in case you are as dumb as the
students at Angel Story Sand High School.
Only Sandra's hand shot up.
Mrs.Stonewater said nicely," Someone besides Sandra?"
A jock raised his hand.
Mrs.Stonewater suggested," Why don't you put it on the board?"
A laugh erupted when they saw his letterman jacket with the school initials. You get the picture.
Trying to be funny, the teacher said," What a donkey," when he put 5 X 5 = 78 on the board.
They all thought this was hilarious. Finally, Mrs.Stonewater got fed up, told us to leave and so
we carried on into the hallways when the bell rang.
We came upon another beauty queen who was lounging around a very annoyed guy.
"Come on, Vicki, let's go there and do it tonight!" suggested the guy.
"No, Greg, I don't want to. I'm not ready." said the girl, Vicki.
Now one of our crew decided to jump right in and ask," This is a typical high school decision, the leap into becoming adults. What are
your views?"
The guy asked stupidly,"What are you talking about? We just want to go to that new fast food place Vicki here," he said pointing at
her," thinks we should just go to that old fast food place."
"Its McDonalds, idiot." she reminded him.
"So that's what its called." he exclaimed, happily.
Now we decide to scope out more, how do we put it, intelligent couples. When I say this into the camera, everyone coughs. Quite weird.
Ok, now we are listening in on a "girl talk."
"Hey girl, you know its tradition to dance with your old boyfriends at every dance." we heard a beautiful African American say to this
stunning brunette.
" I know, but I'm afraid it will happen again."
"What will happen again?" I probed.
"He thinks its a joke, but he stinks up the whole room." she whispered confidentially.
"Oh, and which one of these guys what it be? And is this your new boyfriend or your old boyfriend?"
"Hmmm................. I think he's my 5th one this week..........I'm not sure." she says
"No girl, he's your 7th." says her friend.
" Really? But my boyfriend's Bill, isn't he?" she asks.
"Uh, no girl, your boyfriend's Steve." she informs the brunette.
"Oh my god! He's the blonde one that I've had a crush on for years! Are we really going out?" she asks excitedly.
"Yeah, girl, wake up and smell the coffee. Bill was 3 years ago!" the feisty African American says.
"Oh Wow, they make coffee at this school?" is all her friend can say.
We decide to leave now, and since some of the camera crew ::glares accusingly:: started coughing words such as player, whore,
slut, etc., we decided to get the hell out of there.
The bell rings. Its not a bell, it is a song, that goes, "A, S, S, who is the best, A, S, S is the best! Go Angel Story Sand High!"
I remind myself to tell the principal to get a sanity certificate.
Next, we find a gym class inside playing basketball. Ahhh, finally something normal.
The teacher was yelling, "Two more minutes on the clock!"
Then I realized something was wrong when I saw the girls fouling really bad. Oh, the horror, the horror. The hair-pulling, the screaming,
and the slapping. I asked the teacher," Should they be doing that?"
"Of course! They don't know how else to play!" laughed the teacher.
They didn't even shoot it into the net, they shot it into a little wooden basket.
The teacher yelled," Into the showers ladies!"
I tried to follow but that wouldn't let me in.
I heard the teacher scream, so I ran, basically.
Next, a science classroom. It looked normal, with normal students, looking normally bored, and the teacher normally boring.
Wait until you hear what he was talking about.
"Ok, so this water is something called H2O." The teacher said.
"Wait, repeat that again?" asked a tall guy in the back row.
"Its H20."
"Ohhhhh......." he said.
"Wow" The class said, mesmerized.
"Now, this is part of a thing called the water cycle."
"oooooooooh." was the class' reaction. The teacher, Mr.Stonewater, it said on his tag, looked pleased and decided to go for it and ask,
"Does anyone know what the water cycle is?"
"Noooooo." was the class' response.
Suddenly a girl raised her hand. The teacher got on his knees and started to praise the Lord.
After 15 minutes of Hail Mary's, he got up and called on her.
She was, at this point, already jumping up and down and it was obvious she wanted to go to the bathroom, not answer Question 101.
Of course, this teacher was just as demented as his students ( with the exception of knowing what the water cycle is), so he asked
,"The answer, Jane?"
She goes,"I just wanna pee." and runs out of the room.
At this point I slap myself.
I stay conscious long enough to hear Mr.Stonewater announce," The chemical equation of water will be the quiz tomorrow. Remember
what water is!"
Hey! Guess what? When I finally wake up, its homecoming the next year! So anyway, the nominees
are that brunette who was a player, her name is Sarah Maries, Danielle Stoned, Angelina Foiled, and
Butty Kicked.
We take a look into their lives, with interviews.
Sarah Maries:
Q:What do you think is the biggest issue when it comes to homecoming?
A:*giggle*
Q: Ok, what's your GPA?
A: 0.7
Q: Is that good or bad?
A: Hey, that's outstanding in this school!
Q: Really.
A: Yes
Q: So which courses are you failing?
A: Biology, Mechanics, Phys.Ed, Math, Bowling, Home Ec, History, English Lit.
Q: Are you NOT failing any courses?
A: Yeah.......
Q: And this lucky class would be....
A: Lunch! hahahahahahaha
Note: This interview had to be stopped because of uncontrollable laughter. Please excuse this inconvience
Poppy Stoned
Q: You must get a lot of teasing from your name, so are you really on drugs?
A: Uh, off the record, uh, yes.
Q: Oh, well, are you pregnant?
A: Uh, yes.
Q: Do you smoke?
A: Uh, yes.
Q: Are you an achoholic?
A: Uh, yes.
Q: Are you stupid?
A:Uh, yes.
Q: Are you failing every course?
A: Uh, yes.
Note: THIS interview stopped for obvious reasons. Please excuse the inconvenience.
Angelina Foiled
Q: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Angelina Jolie?
A: Are you saying my lips are big?
Q: No, I'm just saying you're-um, very gorgeous, heehee.
A: All right, let's get this over with. I've got a wrestling match next period.
Q: Oh, well, then are you hoping you are going to win?
A: Well, yes, I hope to slam those boys and get them in their *censored*! hehehehehehehe And then I plan
to-
Q: I was referring to the homecoming queen race.
A: OH! right ok, yeah I don't really care you know.
Note: I think, once again, the reason is obvious. Please excuse the stupidity of these girls.
Butty Kicked.
Q: hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha love your name, Butty! hahahahahahahahahahahaah
A: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, thank you.
Q: So how do you feel about this homecoming nomination?
A: I just want world peace.
Q: Are you, by any chance, in the Miss Teen Pageant?
A: I just want world peace.
Q: I'll take that as a yes. So, for originality, what do you think you're gonna get?
A: The Miss Congeniality sash! *waves* Thank you so much! *sob*
Q: So how are you today?
A: World-peacy. hehehehehehehe
Note: These interviews are getting on my friggin nerves, that's why! Please excuse the dementia of these
stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, girls!
Hey guess who won homecoming? Well, let's see- Sarah Maries was having some Ahem-
trouble in school. Poppy Stoned got pregnant and was kicked out when the school found out she had
septuplets and the father was Mr.Stonewater. Angelina Foiled was "foiled" in her wrestling match,
and Butty Kicked died of depression (Note: World Peace is not good).
So I guess we can make the conclusion that no one won and that Angel Story Sand High surely
is the perfectest high school in the world!