In Which Loki is a She

Also in which the first of the Trinity Sisters makes an appearance, the voice of chaos!

I regret nothing.

XxXxXxXxX

In the Helicarrier sat the Avengers, around their ToA (Table of Awesome). Tony sat in Steve's lap; they were ogling each other. Thor had a pyramid of nearly twenty pop-tart boxes and was devouring them quickly. Natasha kept pushing her breasts up, in an attempt to get them even perkier and bouncy. Bruce sat across from Tony and Steve, arms crossed as he stared jealously at Steve. Clint was, well, eating birdseed. Coulson stood just behind Bruce, arms crossed and glaring jealously at Tony. Finally, in walks Fury, looking bad ass and pissed of as is his usual.

"Now that you're all assembled we have an issue." Fury explained. "Thor if you would."

"Muh brofr hs twurn ind e gwir nd s strkng." Thor told the team through a mouthful of pop-tarts. Aka, his brother has turned female and is streaking, through New York none the less.

"Wait...he can do that?" Tony asked with a face that practically said 'WTF?'.

"It's a blue-man thing." Thor furthered, swallowing the rest of the pop-tart.

"Loki's a smurf now?" Clint popped a few more bites of his birdseed into his mouth.

"That's besides the point, my sister is now running around causing car wreck after car wreck, if we do not act soon next thing you know a plane will come crashing down."

Tony stood quickly from Steve's lap, "Avengers! Disassemble!" And with that he bolted out of the room, with Steve literally right behind him. Clint stood and started flapping his arms and flew out of the room. Natasha skipped out the door. Bruce 'hulked up' and punched his exit from the floor under him. Thor swung his hammer and flew out the top of the Helicarrier.

Fury took one look around the room, face-palming, then fell on his knees screaming up into the heavens, "Avengers!"

XxXxXxXxX

"Ehehehehe! I bet you can't stop looking at meeeeeee!" Loki squealed as she ran through the streets. Her long, black hair flowing behind her, she was wearing a trench coat. Loki zapped every billboard she passed by, turning them into melted cheese.

"Sister! Stop this at once!" Thor yelled as he landed in front of Loki.

"Puny god!" Hulk yelled too, landing next to Thor.

"Excuse me? It's goddess to you, pathetic creature." She scoffed.

"Adventure!" Tony screamed, as he dropped Steve next to Hulk, and landed next to Steve. The mysterious rainbow that appeared behind him disappearing as he landed.

"Don't make me shoot you with one of my cupid arrows." Clint proclaimed as he and Natasha landed next to Thor; Hawkeye was a very slow flier, considering he just flapped his arms and somehow took flight.

"I'll never stop!" Loki yelled out as he ran down another street away from the Avengers. "I do what I want!"

Thor, realizing what she was meaning to do yelled out in an attempt to stop her, "Loki, no!"

There was no going back now, Loki grabbed a hold of the longest street sign she could find and begun spinning around it. "Pole Dance of Doom!"

None of the Avengers attempted to stop her, they were all paralyzed. They could not watch Loki further, yet they found themselves unable to look away. Just when it seemed it could not get any worse, Loki threw off her trench coat, revealing a questionable choice of green lingerie underneath. Thor could not take it any longer, he ran to the nearest trash can and begun emptying his stomach of its poptarty goodness.

Then, when it seemed it really could not get any worse, Loki suddenly turned back into a man. "What the fuck am I wearing?" He proclaimed.

"You mean you don't remember any of that?" Steve asked, gesturing to the streets filled with car pile-ups and piles of oozing cheese.

"Ummmm..." Loki looked around his eyes finally locking onto one person, "this is all your doing!" At a single coffee table sat writer IzzyIzz, shoulder-lengthed gray hair and eyes as red as, well, red, and a face with a crazy look that all but defines crazy. "Stop typing! Your going to make it worse!" Loki yelled as he slammed his hands down on the table, knocking over her cup of coffee. A dark, ominous aura suddenly surrounded her. "How dare you..." IzzyIzz started in a demonic voice.

"Loki...apoligize..." Thor warned. "No! It is this pathetic mortal who should be apoligizing to me! I can go there, I am a prankster...I am the god of mischief! Wait, what are you typing, stop it!"

IzzyIzz had a foot on Loki's chest, keeping him away as she continued typing furiously. Then she started to laugh maniacally, a laugh that chilled Loki himself to his bones. Suddenly, a bright light appeared, blinding the Avengers. When it finally dimmed down neither IzzyIzz nor Loki were anywhere to be found.

"Scary lady and puny god gone?" Hulk asked scratching the back of his head.

"So...shwarma?" Tony asked. A chorus of 'sure's, 'why not's, and 'might as well's rang through the Avengers.

XxXxXxXxX

"Whu, where am I?" Loki asked as he came to. It was dark, too dark. His arms and legs seemed to be bound and he was laying on top of something soft. "It is about time you woke up." IzzyIzz said from within the darkness. Loki could feel the bed shift under her weight as she got on top of it...wait, she wasn't going to, holy shit!

"So, god of mischief, meet the Lady of Despair and Smut." She whispered into his ear, straddling his waist. "For the next few days or until I get bored (which I highly doubt will ever happen) you are going to be my bitch, got that?"

"Y-yes, wait I mean no!"

"Too late!"

And with that Loki was not heard from for months. The world has never been as peaceful.

XxXxXxXxX

"Hey Thor, have you heard from your brother since the whole cheese and gender bender event?" Bruce brought up one day, months later.

"Now that you mention it...I think we should be concerned. I fear what that Izz of the Izzy has done with him." Thor said.

"Nah, he's a big boy, I'm sure he can handle himself." Tony assured them as he brushed Steve's hair.

"Or maybe their just making babies...lotsa lotsa babies." Clint added nonchalantly while parting his birdseed as one would crack. The Avengers all looked up at each other, concerned.

"Shit...mini IzzyIzz's..." Natasha spoke the unspoken truth first.

And with THAT the search for Loki began.

XxXxXxXxX

Part two coming soon!

In Which the Avengers Save Loki from being a Sex Slave

…...I need to stop eating tacos, they do this to me, CURSE YOU TACO BELL AND YOUR NACHO BURRITO GOODNESS!