Patience and Strength
A/N: This story started as part of a collection of one-shots (Stalemate) exploring different ways to end the stalemate that is Castle and Beckett's relationship. Chapter 1 of that story serves as a prologue to this one and can be found here: .net/s/7883108/1/Stalemate
Disclaimer: fan fiction = these characters are not mine...
Chapter 1 - Running
Kate was jolted from her sleep by the ringing of her phone. She groaned when she saw the time. Three A.M. was entirely too early to start the day, but she knew it was part of the job. After she got the details on the new body from dispatch, she ended the call and rolled back over for just a moment, wishing she could stay in bed. She briefly debated calling Castle before she remembered he was writing this week, trying to meet an upcoming deadline. A flash of relief, followed by longer stab of guilt went through her as she realized that he wouldn't be there today. She was forced to admit that she was glad to have an excuse not to call him. Things between them lately were tense to say the least.
She knew the issues between them were all her fault. The situation with Sofia had really shaken her confidence in their relationship. She knew that Sofia had lied about almost everything. She had probably lied about Castle, too. But when Sophia had said it was a mistake when she and Castle slept together and it destroyed their relationship, it had played right into Kate's insecurities and fears about moving her relationship with Rick forward. So she had done what she always did. She ran. Well she couldn't physically run, so she had run from their friendship, gradually pulling away and putting more and more distance between them.
Not wanting to continue this line of thought, she mentally shook herself before throwing the covers off and getting out of bed. She forced herself to focus on the morning's murder as she headed to the shower. A short fifteen minutes later, she was pulling out of the garage on her Harley, headed to the scene. Just as she pulled away, a cab pulled up in front of her building. Castle exited the cab and entered her building. He returned to the taxi a few minutes later and told the driver to take him to the airport. Neither had seen the other, both too preoccupied by their own thoughts.
Through out the day she continued to think about how things were with Castle. She knew she'd been treating him unfairly lately and knew he was hurt and confused. She didn't want to do that to him but she just couldn't help it. She was having a harder time keeping her distance from him and she just wasn't ready to face...whatever they were. He seemed to have been handling it all fairly well. Maybe he understood that she just needed time and space. Maybe she didn't need to explain it to him. So much of their communication was wordless. She hoped he knew what she was doing and why. He always gave her the time she needed. Maybe this was more of the same.
Though, yesterday, he'd been different. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something had been off with him. He'd shown up just before lunch, with take-out for them all. She was surprised to see him. He'd said he'd be spending the next week or so catching up on his writing. Gina was nagging pretty hard these days.
Castle had sauntered off of the elevator almost in his usual jovial manner but she couldn't help but notice that his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. They didn't have an active case so were free to gather in the break room and enjoy a meal together. The team bantered as usual and Castle joined in the playful teasing. She noticed that he skillfully dodged any questions as to when he would return to the precinct. They had finished the meal and were all putting off their return to the paperwork awaiting them. Castle finally stood and announced he was heading out. He looked at each of them with uncharacteristic seriousness before telling them, "It was good to see you guys." A wistful look passed over his face before he schooled his features back to "happy" Castle and headed for the door. He left without a backwards glance.
Eighteen hours after the early morning phone call, Kate pulled her bike back into its parking spot and headed to her apartment. It had been a long day but they'd wrapped up the case. She was exhausted and just wanted to soak in the tub with a glass of wine and a good book, though she knew should couldn't handle one of his novels right now. She was too tired to notice the white envelope on her floor when she entered the apartment. She set her helmet on the table, poured a glass of wine, and grabbed Patterson's latest before heading into the bathroom. An hour later, she crawled into bed, glad for once that tomorrow was her day off. She was asleep almost instantly.
Kate woke naturally at around 7:30 the next morning and laid in bed for a few moments before getting up and preparing to go for a morning run. When she found her running shoes in the living room, she notice the envelope on the floor by the door. Her forehead wrinkled in suspicion before she went to retrieve it.
She wasn't surprised to find that it was from Rick and that he was gone. Honestly, she'd been surprised he'd stuck around as long as he had. She told herself it was for the better, that she no longer had to wait for the other shoe to drop, for him to leave her like everyone did. She didn't really believe it yet but hoped she would. She left for her run, closing and locking the door behind her. If only it was as easy to lock away the sorrow and disappointment she felt as well.