Hi Guys, this is Zachary Shields, and welcome to my first episode of Five Ways to Kill! That's right everyone, I'm bringing back the popular sprite video series made by Generalsupertoad a.k.a. GSTSuperworld87 and Shadsilvson11. Anyway, the victim room is open, the killers are ready, and everyone's got their snacks, so let's fire up the randomizer and let's see who's going to be the first victim.

The randomizer activates. When it stops, the monitor reveals that it landed on:

Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda

The crowd boos at the monitor.-

Yes, everyone. Abandon hope all ye who enter here. For the the first victim on this channel is Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda. With a lackluster plot, horrible acting, and even worse CGI, his direct-to-TV film is undoubtedly the worst entry in the Sharktopus trilogy, and is the posterboy of how not to make a horror movie.

Also, as an added bonus because not only is this again, a miserable excuse for a horror movie, but this is also the month of October, I'm going to make the following deaths as bloody and gory as possible.

So now, it's time to punish Syfy, New Horizons, and Anchor Bay Entertainment for creating this Live-Action abomination, by presenting the five ways to kill Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda.

Number 5: Instant Transmission Telefrag

Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda/em is residing on a cliff when suddenly…

CCRRRRRRAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!

The movie explodes, filling our entire view in red. When the view clears, we are treated to the sight…. Of Goku in his Instant Transmission pose, standing over the bloody chunks of what was Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda. As he assumes an idle stance, he breathes a sigh of relief.

"Movies like that should have never been made in the first place."

Number 4: Omega Strikes Again

*in an abandoned military base*

We see Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda next to a decommissioned F-22 Raptor. Standing next to the poorly executed comedic horror movie is E-123 Omega, the last and most powerful E-Series robot created by Dr Eggman.

"TARGET IDENTIFIED: WEAKEST ENTRY IN SHARKTOPUS TRILOGY MISSION OBJECTIVE: DESTROY TARGET."

With that, Omega retracts his hands into his arms. Suddenly, his Omega Machine Guns replaces his missing hands. He immediately starts firing into the movie, leaving it with a series of large holes and severe bleeding. His hands are then replaced with his Omega Missile Launchers. Finally, Omega fires two missiles from the launchers, blasting the movie into a pile of blood and gore.

"MISSION OBJECTIVE, COMPLETE. SHARKTOPUS VS PTERACUDA HAS BEEN SUCESSFULLY TERMINATED."

Number 3: Enter the Blood Samurai

As the screen transitions, Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda is seen in an open field at night. Standing in front of the movie is Michael Simmons, the Blood Samurai.

"Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda. You disgust me. You are incredibly annoying as well."

"Go to Hell, you pitiful loser."

"That is it. You like to make dumb choices do you? Well, you have chosen a very dumb way to die…"

Michael unsheathes his sword, Muramasa. As he grips his blade, Michael's scleras turn black and his pupils turn blood red. Suddenly, Michael disappears, only to reappear a few seconds later. Suddenly, the movie splits down the middle and the two halves fall to the ground…

"Ah, Muramasa, you have never let me down before."

Michael then sheathes Muramasa.

Alright Guys because I don't have that many creative ideas, there won't be any interlude breaks.

So let's get on with the last two ways to kill Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda.

Number 2: The Return of the Tails Doll

Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda is now in an abandoned church. Suddenly, the infamous Tails Doll appears above the movie.

"Hello, Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda. Can you feel the sunshine?"

"Hell no! I can't feel a thing!"

"No? Well then, time for disintegration."

Suddenly, the Tails Doll's eyes begin to glow red. A red beam of energy is fired from its antenna, striking Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda. The movie screams in pain until…

CCRRRRRRAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!

The movie explodes filling our entire view in red. When the view clears, Shartopus vs. Pteracuda, is nothing but a pile blood and ashes. The Tails Doll then disappears...

Okay before we get to number one, let's do a recap on the four kills we've seen so far

5. Telefraged by Goku

4. Riddled with bullets and blown to pieces by E-123 Omega

3. Cut in half by Michael Simmons

2. Disintegrated by the Tails Doll

And now, here's the moment you've all been waiting for: Here's the number one way to kill Sharktopus vs Pteracuda.

Number 1: A Slice of Elseworlds

As the screen transitions, Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda is seen in an empty section of what appears to be Gotham City. Suddenly a figure walks up to the movie. The figure turned out to be a knight with armor that seemed to fit right at home in medieval times of superstitions and black magic. The armor was black as night, with an eerie red light within the visor of the helmet, with its gaze fixed on the horrendous excuse for a movie. For this was the Modern day descendant of Lancelot Du Lac, Lance Dwayne Langton Jr, also simply known as….The Black Knight.

"Alright then, Sharktopus vs Pteracuda, time to send your god awfulness to hell where you belong."

Lance unsheathes Arondight, his ancestor's weapon and charges at the movie. Suddenly the screen is enveloped in black when suddenly the screen returns to normal and…

Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda falls into several pieces. Lance then sheathes Arondight and removes his helmet.

"That's the end of that."

And that's it for Five Ways to Kill Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda! I would like to thank Goku, Michael Simmons, the Tails Doll, E-123 Omega, and Lance Langton, for participating in this episode. You got your Kill Trophies. Now, is there anything you would like to say before the show ends?

"Yes, I do. Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda, is one of the worst horror movies ever made."

"MICHAEL IS CORRECT. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING BETTER, TRY TO LOCATE THE ORIGINAL FRIDAY THE 13TH."

"I had quite a bit of fun taking out today's victim. Also, look out for me in Zach's upcoming Fanfiction, DC Elseworlds: The Black Knight.

"All that we really have left to say is that we wish you a happy Halloween, Zach."

Well if that's all you have to say, then that concludes this installment of Five Ways to Kill! I'll see you next time, but until then, this is Zachary Shields, signing off.