A/n: still firmly on the Jalton train, I wondered how Adam would handle leave without any closure with Jaz, as Season 1 so rudely left us ;) ...so that's where this one comes in.

Chapter 1

Adam sighed. The deployment debrief had been long, intense, and more difficult than any he had ever experienced. Every mission since Amir joined the team was scrutinized. It was necessary for future growth, but analyzing past mistakes just seemed fruitlessly painful. And this past deployment had seen its fair share of mistakes, especially since Iran.

The way he had handled the whole situation with Jaz unsettled him. Why had he come down so hard on her for improvising when Jarif had spooked at the tea house? Had she made the shot, he'd have been congratulating her. But she missed her first shot in like, a year, and he had exploded at her, the unwavering trust he had always put in her and she in him shaken. Then when the opportunity was presented for Jaz to go in alone, he wanted it because #killJarif but he was aware of the danger. While he had given Jaz the option to back out, hindsight clearly showed him that putting her in that position immediately following the whole improvise debacle wasn't the wisest.

Listening to the recording of that conversation rang in his ears. At the time, his frustration, anger, rage at losing Jarif had overshadowed every other emotion and the fact that he'd overreacted and blown up at Jaz hadn't even registered...not until the last few days of the grueling debrief. How could he have been so cruel as to "not even mention" how she'd almost shot an innocent bystander? The irony was mind boggling.

And now he was frustrated with himself. The reason Jaz had walked into Jarif's hotel was because he had made her feel like she needed to prove herself, something she had never felt obligated to do before. It was his fault. Her capture and torture were all his fault. The ghosts that would stay with her forever, his damn fault.

Adam took another deep breath, closing his eyes to the well manicured courtyard outside the DIA headquarter building quad. One foot pressed up against the concrete he was half leaning against, half sitting on and the other bounced his knee up and down in choppy agitation.

He knew she deserved a heartfelt apology. In his mind, he knew having the humility to admit when you're wrong and seek forgiveness was a positive quality but decades of viewing it as a weakness was hard to fight. He had never heard one apology from any of the men in his family, except in sarcasm. But he was a better man than they were, and the ability to give a sincere apology was only one proof of that.

Adam thrived under pressure when on the job - his mind cleared and would get laser focused while not missing any details. It's what had catapulted him through the ranks to become one of the youngest SpecOps team captains in history. But now, here, off the time clock, the team would be dispersing to their various homes all over the country over the course of the next few days, and Adam didn't have the luxury of lots of time to plan out an apology. Jaz's flight was the first to depart, and that was happening tomorrow morning, bright and early.

The team, sans Preach who had already been transported to a hospital near his home and including Patricia, Noah, and Hannah, was planning one last group dinner and drinks tonight before heading off in their separate directions. And right now, Adam was at a total loss of what to even say to Jaz beyond "I'm so sorry."