Disclaimer: Nothing is owned, except the idea that little Miss Olivia Benson has a secret about her daddy. Three guesses on who she's talking about. I personally wrote this when I was high on orange juice, so excuse the randomness. Also, a big shout out to my bestest friend and closest (only) Beta reader! TAN TAN!! I would so give you a great big glomp- but personal space is important.

I may make this into a multi-chapter story if anyone wants me to, even if it is only one person. But for now, enjoy.

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Sometimes she wondered why she worked this job. Why did she spend nearly every day of her month working to capture rapists and other fiends that harmed the innocent? It certainly wasn't the best career choice for her mental health. Definitely not because of the pay, no one worked Special Victims or any other job at the NYPD just for pay unless they were close to destitute.

She wondered why everyone else did it. Was it some satisfaction they got knowing that there was always one less bad guy out there to harm people? Did they do it because they felt it was their responsibility? Or because somebody had done something bad to them when they were innocent, and nearly naive and wanted revenge?

Her partner and the rest in the Special Victims Unit at the 16th Precinct all thought they knew why she wouldn't quit. According to them, it was because she herself was a child of rape. That wasn't it though, but it was better they believe that. After all, she would probably be sent straight to a mental ward by Dr. Huang himself.

They just couldn't understand that it wasn't the women rape victims in the SVU cases that got to her, but the children victims. Even the children who turned out to be killers messed with her brain, because every time she sees those same silver claws- slicing their way through her memory. Every single time, she sees the fear in those helpless bodies, right before their last breath.

And she understands.

Olivia feels responsible, and she partly is. It's because of her that whenever those little precious once-innocents have a nightmare, he'll be waiting. Every moment of fear their subconscious gives them, he'll be there. Terrorizing every single moment of their sleep. No amount of therapy will cure that.

She knows it won't ever end, because he's still tormenting her. Even after all this time, when she moved away from that small town, he's with her. Watching her, taunting her. In the rare moments of the week where she gets to rest and sleep, she can feel him. He won't ever leave, but Olivia knows he won't kill her. It's much more amusing for him to watch her suffer as the days roll on.

Olivia doesn't think he knows though, that he is the reason she fights. It's because of that burned rotting shell of a human that she strives day after day to solve SVU cases. Those claws and that tattered fedora are the only reason she gets up and goes to work in the morning. Because she must repent. She needs to get closure for everything that he has done.

If there's one thing Olivia never wants to be is like her father. That much her squad knows. She never wants to make a person cry, never wants a single violent tendency. She fears this so much, sometimes she curses the day she had been born. If only her mom hadn't been as foolish as to try and stop him that night. If only she hadn't burned down that factory with all those other parents. If only she hadn't led her daughter to becoming nearly suicidal with guilt!

Her partner tells her she is nothing like her father. Elliot, and Dr. Huang, and Captain Cragen, Fin, even Munch try to remind her that she isn't anything like her father. But how can they say that? Had they ever met the man of everyone's nightmares face to face? For all they know, she could be an exact replica of the man.

So she fights. She puts her life into her job, and works hard to capture those who do others wrong. She fights to make sure that people don't need to experience the horrors and nightmares. She fights to repent, because she knows just beneath the surface, is a part of dearest daddy Freddy Krueger waiting to come out and play.