"Hey Carlos are you coming down to the pool?" James asks. I hesitate before answering.
"No thanks, I think I'll just stay here and rest a little." I answer.
"Aw come on Carlos. You haven't been in the pool once since we've been here. Actually, I've never seen you swim."
"Maybe I don't like swimming." James gives me a glance that says 'yeah right'. He turns back to Logan and Kendall.
"You guys go ahead, I'll be down in a minute."
Logan and Kendall nod before exiting the apartment. James walks over to where I'm sitting, grabs the remote off the coffee table, turns the TV off and looks at me.
"Ok Carlos, whats up?" James asks laying the remote back down.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Why don't you come swimming?" James asks with an eyebrow raised.
"No reason." I say. James sits down next to me on the couch and looks at me. I've always had a little crush on him.
"Carlos, tell me." James demands.
"Ok, truthfully, Im just uncomfortable with my body, I just don't like taking my shirt off okay?" I say.
"I've never seen you shirtless but Im almost positive you have a pretty awesome body." James says as he smiles slightly. I look down at my hands folded in my lap. James lifts my chin up and looks straight into my eyes.
"Carlos, take your shirt off..please." James asks with pleading eyes. I look away from his gaze and bite my bottom lip. I simply shake my head no. I can feel my eyes start to water. James looks around the room for a while before he speaks.
"Please.." His voice. His voice was so desperate, so innocent. I gave in. I slowly reached down and grabbed the hem of my shirt. Slowly but surely I took my shirt off and laid it down on the floor. My biggest insecurity was finally revealed. All my scars on my stomach out in the open. I felt a stray tear slide down my face. James looked at me with confusion and saddness.
"Carlos...What? What happened?" James asked with a tear in his eye.
"Did you..did you do this to yourself?" He asked in a whisper.
"Its a long story" I said half chuckling trying to fake a smile. James moved his hand to my face and wiped my tear away with his thumb. "You know I've got time." He spoke I looked away for a minute before speaking.
"Ok, well, my parents they've..they've always been a little...abusive. I mean not anything too serious. Just a slap here, a punch there. Now my mom, she never physically abused me, but she sat around, watched my father physically abuse me and never said a damn word. And to me, thats just as bad as doing it yourself." James looked at me with sad eyes, waiting for me to continue.
"When I got to middle school, I..I just couldn't take it. I hated my life and I hated myself. So I started cutting. I didn't want anyone to know so I did it on my stomach instead of my wrists, that way it would be easier to hide." A tear fell down James' cheek and he laid a hand on my knee.
"Freshman year rolled around..and I was tired of living a lie. So, one day, I came out to my parents. I told them I was gay. My dad punched me in the face then walked out the back door and down the street somewhere. My mom started crying, she got in her car and drove away. I started crying myself, so I ran up to my room and fell right asleep. Well, around 2 am I was jerked awake by my dad, I could smell the beer on his breath. He told me my mom was dead. He told me she swerved off the road and crashed into a tree. He told me it was all my fault. He told me my being gay made her upset which made her swerve. He started slapping me, punching me and kicking me. The last thing I remember was being thrown off my bed and into my bedroom door. I guess I got knocked out because I woke up in the hospital." James and I both had tears tracks down our face.
"The hospital somehow found out what happend and my dad got arrested. For how long? I dont know. What jail is he in? I dont know and I really dont care. So then I started living with my grandma, where I live now. Then I met you guys the very next year. My grandma, she completly accepts me for me. Never once has she hit me. After I moved in with her my life got so much better. But I'll always be stuck with these horribly ugly scars that remind me of my darkest days." Without any warning James bent down and kissed every single scar on my stomach. A smile crept on my lips and my cheeks flushed pink. James sat up and looked me in the eyes.
"Carlos, you are the bravest person I know. I had no idea you went through all that." James then lifted me up and sat me on his lap.
"Never will your scars be ugly. They are a reminder of how strong you were." James says.
"Strong? I wasn't strong, I was weak, I broke down and hurt myself James." I said wiping a tear from my cheek.
"You did, but you could've went the whole nine yards. You could've killed yourself Carlos but you didn't. That..makes you strong." James explains.
"I love you Carlos. I've loved you since I met you, and this story makes me love you even more. I thought now would be a good time to tell you. Carlos, I wanna be your boyfriend, I wanna make you happy for the rest of your life." Before I knew it James' lips were on mine. It was nothing intense, it was a sweet gentle kiss. I was the first to pull back. I leaned my forehead on James' and stared into his eyes.
"I love you too James." I whispered. We both got up from the couch and walked into our shared bedroom. But this time, I layed down in James' bed with him. I layed my head on his chest and he wrapped his strong protective arms around me. I was almost asleep when I heard Kendall and Logan walk into the apartment, stop at my bedroom door and awe.
"I hope this means their together." I heard Kendall say before he and Logan went into their room. I smiled gently before leaning up and giving my new boyfriend one last goodnight kiss before we both fell asleep.