Election Day
by David Pontier
Day 1
"Good evening, I'm Tombro Ka, and you are watching a special report on CHC.
"As most of you know, Floridan, or Florida for short, has recently decided to join the Republic. Before we get to today's story, we would like to give you a bit of history concerning this planet.
"Florida is located in the outer rim and is populated exclusively by humans. The Floridians gained interstellar space flight within the past 100 years and have finally decided to join the Republic.
"The planet of Florida is unique because it is the only place in the galaxy where Force users can still be found. Over twelve hundred years ago, the last of the Jedi were killed in the Great Sacrifice, saving the galaxy from the coming Darkness. Since then, there have been no Jedi outside of Florida.
"Now that this planet is going to join the Republic, many people in the galaxy are both excited and worried. Though the Jedi had been protectors of the peace for many millennia before their extinction, it was often their dark brothers from which the Jedi needed to protect the galaxy.
"Here on Coruscant, Republic officials have tried to assure the public that the senator, and in fact the planet, of Florida will not get any special treatment in the senate. The public still fears that the senator the people of Florida elect will be able to use his Force power to control the senate. They say that it is not right for Florida to be able to determine the outcome of every future debate.
"While there is some substance to these fears, Republic officials insist that precautions will be taken so the senator from Florida will not be able to misuse his powers. Of course, the real story today is, 'Who is that senator going to be?'
"For an update leading to that answer, we turn to Danra Ther, who is on Florida right now. Danra, how are things going down there?"
"Well, Tombro, as you can see from the line of people behind me, voters are very eager to make their votes count in this election."
"Do you have any prediction on who might win this election?"
"Before that, I think it might be worthwhile to take a look at the candidates. There are two main parties here on Florida with a few much smaller factions that really don't stand much of a chance. The Light side and the Dark side are the two main parties, with the Gray side being the largest of the smaller parties. No one expects the Gray side candidate to get many votes, but those he does get are probably at the expense of the Dark side candidate.
"The Light side candidate's name is Governor Egroeg Hsub, though everyone calls him 'W.'"
"W? As in the letter?"
"That's right, Tombro. I don't understand it fully, but it seems to be some kind of nickname to tell him apart from his father. The Dark side candidate is Senator Trebla Erog, though he insists on being called Darth Algore. Please don't ask me why."
"I see. Well, can you tell us something about these parties? I'm sure most of our viewers are not familiar with Florida politics."
"I can only tell you what I've found out so far. The Dark side is very insistent on lightsaber registration laws. While the Light side is more focused on setting up a voucher system for Jedi education. Not being a native to this planet, I can't tell you what any of that means."
"Do you have any election results yet?"
"Well, Tombro, it is still way too early to make a call, but I feel confident in calling this planet for the Light side."
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, looking at the voter registration, the Light side has over 250 million registered voters while the Dark side has only 27."
"That is quite a difference, Danra. Has the Dark side ever won an election?"
"Oh, yes, many times."
"How?"
"From what I've read it seems that the Dark side specializes in . . . Well, why don't you look behind me, and you can see for yourself. There must be at least a hundred people in line to vote, and they are all Light side voters. Off to the side, running toward the line of voters at top speed, is a Dark side member. Do you see how he is hacking the people at the front of the line to pieces."
"Very impressive. What is that weapon he's using?"
"I think it is a lightsaber; the weapon I spoke of earlier. As you can see this demonstration has frightened off the other voters. The Dark side uses this tactic and many others to scare away voters."
"Is there any type of law enforcement to protect these voters?"
"Not any that is effective, Tombro. W wants to increase law enforcement and is in favor of the death penalty for all criminals, while Darth Algore is not. This is probably because Algore, and almost all Dark side party members have extensive murder records."
"I see. Can we expect this vote to be accurate with these types of events taking place?"
"I am told that this is normal Florida politics, and they are used to it by now."
"Well, thanks for the update, Danra. We'll be coming back to you later this evening for a final update on how the election turned out."
Later that evening . . .
"Welcome back. We are now going to go back to Danra Ther who is on the planet of Florida where the election for their senator is taking place. Danra, have the voting booths closed yet?"
"Yes they have Tombro, but there is still some confusion as to who won. It seems that this is the tightest election in planet history. The difference between W and Darth Algore is only 7 votes. When an election is this close, it is Florida law that a recount take place."
"Do you have any idea how long this could take?"
"No I do not."
"Okay, Danra Ther on Florida, thanks. We will check back regularly."
Day 2
"Any word yet on a winner?"
"No."
Day 3
"How are things on Florida going?"
"Still counting, Tombro."
Day 4
"Have all the votes been counted yet?"
"No, they have not, and I received word that the wait might even be longer because of the absentee ballots."
"Absentee ballots?"
"Yes. All Floridians are allowed to participate in the election, even if they are not currently living on the planet. This means that their ballots have to be flown in from around the galaxy."
"Flown in? Why don't they just use the holo-net?"
"Let me tell you something about Florida elections. While they have very advanced computer technology and are just as up to date as the rest of the galaxy, they still use paper ballots."
"What is paper?"
"Exactly. On Coruscant, we are used to voting instantly. Everyone gets on the holo-net and casts their vote simultaneously. Our entire election process takes less than an hour. But here on Florida, these paper ballots need to be counted by hand, and this could take a while."
"Well, Danra, we will continue to check back in regularly."
"I'm not going anywhere."
Day 73
"Dare I ask?"
"Actually, Timbro, they have come to an official result."
"You better not be joking, or I'm going to kill you."
"You might kill me anyway when you hear what I have to say. The final vote count has the Light side beating the Dark side by only two votes."
"Wow, that is a close race. What was the exact count?"
"It was 53 to 51."
"Does it bother anyone that, according to the amount of registered voters, the Light side only got a 0.0000212 % turn out while the Dark side got a 189% turn out?"
"Actually, voting officials are surprised the numbers are as high and low as they are. In one election, I'm told, the Light side actually got negative votes while the Dark side got more votes than the population of the entire planet. Voting officials, aided by Light side representatives, have guarded against such Dark side cheating, but it still takes place to some extent."
"So W is going to be Florida's senator to the Republic."
"Not exactly. While W beat Darth Algore by two votes, 53 to 51, Tap Nanahcub got 3,400 votes. No one is quite sure how this happened. Tap was running as an independent and claims he didn't even vote for himself. He has no idea why anyone else did. I have a copy of the ballot here, and you can see it is rather confusing.
"It is Florida law that the vote stands as is, but since Tap hates all foreigners, his first action as senator was refusing to go to Coruscant because he - quote - 'can't stand all those creepy aliens.' So Florida voting officials are now calling for a re-vote."
"When will this happen, and how long will it take?"
"Officials say it could take months."
"Well, don't plan any vacation time. Folks, you heard it hear first. CHC will continue to bring you updates from Florida as events unfold. Now we will move to local ne- Wait. I'm getting a signal from our producer. It seems Danra Ther has just obtained new information on the Florida election. Oh, no, he was only joking. Sorry folks."
Day 124
"We have learned here at CHC that the Florida election has finally ended. We go back, live, to Danra Ther on the scene. Is it true that the election is over?"
"Yes, Tombro, it is over. Light side officials were able to police the streets this time, and the final vote count was W 1,345,765.5 and Darth Algore 52."
"How is it possible that W got half a vote?"
"Nasty lightsaber accident. The Light side is very excited they were able to protect their voters during this re-election. The Dark side actually killed the correspondent we sent to get a comment from Darth Algore. Now, if our holo-cameras are in place, I think we are going live to W's acceptance speech."
* * *
"Thank-you, Thank-you. I, W, gladly accept your vote as the first senator to the Replicub. I hope that through our membership in this galtical government, Florida will be strenethenged and we will mov-"
* * *
"Danra, what happened?! We seem to have lost the feed."
"Well, Tombro, I'm getting word now that it seems, Darth Algore as blown up the Light side rally site from an orbiting battle cruiser. Yes, that is what happened. It seems that newly elected Senator W has been killed, along with over a thousand of his supporters. From looking at Florida's election history, this is not uncommon. I actually expected it."
"What will they do now?"
"Another election is planned for next week, but I am commi-"
"Well, folks, it looks we will have to wait a little while longer until we get a Floridian senator in the Republic. We will keep Danra Ther on Florida for as long as it takes."
"No! I am not staying here anoth-"
"It might be months or even years before we get an answer but . . .
"Someone get me a ship off this pla-"
". . . CHC will be there when the story breaks."
"Hey who are you? Get away from me with that lightsaber. Ahhhrrrrggghhhhh!"
"This has been a special report from CHC. We now give you back to your regularly scheduled program."
NOT THE END
Florida still needs to vote