Pairing: Liara T'Soni/FemShepard

Spoilers: Mass Effect 1, 2, 3, ECT

AN: An imagining of Shepard and Liara's reunion after the final battle. Sequel to Ilos Can Wait, Hagalaz Can Wait, and Cronos Station Can Wait.

. . .

Death Can Wait

. . .

Liara had known in the abstract that Shepard was alive. The crackling message from the Alliance fleet came through just as she was about to put her bondmate's name up on the Memorial Wall. But part of her had been too terrified to believe it until flesh was pressed against flesh and they could feel each other's heartbeats.

The actual details of their reunion were fuzzy, although Garrus assured them later that, yes, they had embarrassed themselves in front of the entire crew. The first few seconds were wary, and neither of them moved, terrified that they were staring at ghosts or fragments of a memory.

Then Liara melded, not caring that they weren't alone, and her knees nearly gave out as everything that was Shepard came crashing down around her head. It was frightening and chaotic, and for several moments, she couldn't remember how to breathe. Her chest burned and her eyes stung.

'No matter what happens...'

Warmth folded around her, trying to soothe the deep, unbearable ache in her heart. Liara knew all too well that love could hurt, but this... she had lost Shepard twice now, and she knew that if death tried to separate them prematurely again, she wouldn't survive.

'No matter what happens, you mean everything to me, Liara.'

Her face was buried in the warmth of Shepard's neck, and both of them were crying. In a flash, Liara saw everything that had happened on the Citadel, the choice her bondmate had been forced to make and her grief at the death of so many. She felt Shepard resisting, trying to pull back, not wanting to share that part of her memories, but Liara only held on tighter.

'... you mean everything to me, Liara. You always will.'

And now they were alone, back in Shepard's refurbished cabin on the Normandy, and Liara was suddenly unsure of herself. Even though Shepard was physically there, alive and breathing, part of her had never been so terrified in her life. Her bondmate had been taken from her twice now, and each time the grief felt like it would never end.

"Liara..."

She couldn't bring herself to do it. Couldn't look up at Shepard's face as the human stood in front of her, holding both of her hands tight.

"Liara, look at me."

"I – I can't. I'm crying too hard." Gently, Shepard tucked a finger beneath her chin, slowly lifting her head until their eyes met. When Liara saw that Shepard was crying, too, her tears came twice as fast. "It aches to love you so much when I can never have all of you," she said, her voice breaking.

"You have me. I promise."

Taking in deep, shuddering breaths to keep from sobbing, Liara turned away. "You belong to the galaxy, not to me. You're their hero. The Savior of Earth. The Cycle-breaker."

"But I'm also your lover." Shepard wrapped her arms around Liara's waist from behind, helping her out of her lab coat and kissing the side of her throat. "Your bondmate." Another kiss as she began taking off Liara's shirt. "I won't leave you again."

"That's what you promised last time," Liara whispered. "And the time before that."

Shepard felt Liara shudder in her arms tucked her chin over the asari's shoulder, kissing the line of her jaw. "And I did. I came back."

"After breaking my heart on three separate occasions."

"And I'm so sorry for that. You've felt what it's like inside my..." she couldn't finish the sentence, still angry with herself for giving in and melding with Liara before she had gotten the chance to push all of her twisted memories into some dark, impenetrable place.

Liara had felt it. The guilt, the fear, the anger, the pain. So much hatred. And suddenly, all she wanted to do was fill Shepard with good things to cancel out all the ugliness. Acceptance, safety, calm, and peace. And love. So much love that it would drown out everything that came before.

"I love you. Please..."

"You love me?" Slowly, Liara turned back around, her face wet with tears. "Show me."

The first brush of their lips was soft. For a moment, Liara couldn't quite believe that Shepard was alive. That Shepard was kissing her, with a strong heartbeat hammering against the place where their bodies pressed together. She had only thought that Shepard was dead for a few days, but part of her hadn't accepted it then. Now, she was having an equally difficult time accepting that Shepard was safe and wrapped in her arms.

Shakily, still unsure of herself, Liara began pulling at the layers of Shepard's clothes, needing to feel bare flesh under her hands. The color of Shepard's skin had always fascinated her, so different than her own, and always so incredibly warm to the touch. Shepard allowed herself to be stripped, lifting up her arms so that her bondmate could pull off her uniform shirt, followed by a middle layer and the combat undershirt she always wore to protect her torso and breasts. She sighed with relief when Liara dropped the constricting garment onto the floor, and the soft sound grew louder when slender blue fingers began exploring the slightly red, irritated patches under her arms where the material had rubbed uncomfortably against her.

"How long are we going to keep doing this, Shepard?" Liara asked, stroking the muscles of Shepard's shoulders and arms, feeling the power and strength there. "How many more times do I have to wait for you to come back from the dead?"

"I'll give it up. Retire. Follow you around the galaxy. Anything you want."

Liara knew that Shepard would never be able to 'give it up', of course. Not completely. She was a hero now. The hero. Almost a deity. She had saved the life of every sentient being in the galaxy. But she also said stupid things when she was drunk, snored and stole all of the blankets whenever they shared a bed, had a not-so-secret crush on one of the asari actresses in Vaenia, and worked obsessively on her ship models. This was the person that Liara loved.

Behind Shepard the hero was Shepard the human. Mortal, with her own flaws and strengths. But after what she had done, she could never be 'just Shepard' again.

But maybe... Maybe it would be enough to know that Shepard wanted to. That she would give it up, if she had a choice.

'You mean everything to me, Liara. You always will.'

"All I want..." It took Liara a moment to voice her thoughts, since she could barely straighten out the words in her own head. She took strength from the warmth of Shepard's skin under her hands, the movement of muscle beneath her palms. Shepard was alive, and she was alive, and they were together again. Everything else would work itself out. "All I want is you, Shepard. I just want to be with you. For as long as we have."

Desperate for some kind of contact, a physical affirmation of everything they felt, Shepard reached out and tried to wrap her arms around Liara's waist. The asari brushed her hands away and began undoing her uniform pants, barely noticing that she was still mostly dressed except for her coat and shirt while Shepard was almost naked. She got the pants about half way to the Commander's knees before she realized her combat boots were in the way. "Sit," she said, pushing Shepard gently onto the edge of the bed and kneeling in front of her. One at a time, she took the boots off, then her pants, and finally her underwear, until Shepard was completely naked except for a soft, almost hesitant smile that was nevertheless filled with love.

Liara rested her cheek on top of Shepard's thigh, collecting her thoughts for a moment. She didn't resist when Shepard began rubbing her shoulders and the back of her neck, working out some of the tension that was trapped there. "I never thought I would be able to do this again," she whispered, more to herself than to Shepard. "Just... exist with you."

"I told you I'd come back." There wasn't even a hint of teasing in Shepard's voice.

"I'll try to believe you."

"And I'll try not to leave again."

Liara smiled, and although there was still some pain behind it, her expression was genuine. "So... are you ready to accept your hard-earned reward, love?"

Shepard continued massaging the back of Liara's neckfolds, scraping her nails ever so slightly against soft blue skin. "I don't know. What did you have in mind?"

"Besides marriage, old age, and a lot of little blue children? Well..." Liara took Shepard's hand, threading their fingers together as she rested her chin just above the human's knee. "If anyone deserves a night of sitting back and enjoying a soft, warm tongue, it's the Savior of the Galaxy."

When Shepard's breath caught and her hips shifted forward ever so slightly, Liara felt the warm glow of pride. Even though it had only been a few years ago, the shy, insecure virgin that she had been before Ilos seemed like a distant memory. She hadn't even explored herself sexually back then, let alone another person. Shepard had been perfect – patient, sweet, and attentive. Now, Liara was confident in her sexuality and her ability to give and receive pleasure. She was also comfortable asking for what she wanted and giving directions.

"Here, toss me one of the pillows from the bed." When Shepard didn't move right away, Liara clarified. "I'm going to be here a while."

Something about that simple statement was incredibly arousing, and Shepard turned to grab one of the pillows. As she watched Liara slide it under her knees, she tried to remember if they had ever been in this position before. No immediate memories came to mind. Even though they had known each other for almost four years, Shepard had spent two years of that time dead, another six months incarcerated, and much of the remaining time in combat. She and Liara had been forced to rely on stolen moments. Precious, but all too brief and infrequent.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Shepard made one last valiant attempt to resist, just in case Liara wasn't emotionally ready to reestablish a physical connection with her. In Liara's eyes, making love expressed a serious commitment. Shepard had known that before Ilos, she had known it after Hagalaz, and she had known it before assaulting Cronos station. And even though she had come back to Liara every time, leaving over and over again had broken her lover's heart.

Liara's smile held less pain this time, and Shepard resolved to make her keep smiling until all of her grief and anger and sorrow faded away. "Is this what I want? What I want is to lick you until you come in my mouth a thousand times. I'm not sure it is physically possible get through that many orgasms tonight, so you will just have to stick around for the rest."

Before Shepard could protest further, Liara began kissing a warm trail along her right thigh, rubbing the soft skin there with her cheek and occasionally nipping with her teeth. When two strong, slightly calloused hands gripped the back of her head, not pushing down, but making their presence known, Liara responded by spreading Shepard's thighs further apart and holding on to her hips. The grip around her waist made Shepard tremble, and she glanced down at Liara questioningly.

"Just relax... and enjoy your reward."

Liara leaned forward, kissing the point of Shepard's pubic bone and using both thumbs to peel apart her folds. She started breathing a little more heavily as she revealed her prize, and she felt Shepard shifting above her – either trying to move closer or squirm away, she couldn't be sure. But Liara would not be rushed. She had earned this. It was her reward as much as it was Shepard's, and she was going to savor every second.

"How can I relax when you look so gorgeous doing that?" Shepard protested. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands, and alternated clutching at the sheets and gently gripping Liara's shoulders. The asari didn't answer. She dipped her head instead, humming with pleasure as Shepard seemed to open and swell under her tongue. Even though the battle for Earth had taken place only a few weeks ago, Liara felt like an eternity had passed since she had gotten the chance to do this. She lost herself in the thick heat, the mixture of sweetness and salt, the way Shepard's wetness made every movement of her mouth easy.

"I love you," she lifted her tongue long enough to murmur, darting around the hard bud above Shepard's entrance for a moment before taking it between her lips and pulling. Shepard's reaction was immediate. Her hips jerked and her hands flew to the top of Liara's head, trying to hold her in place despite her better judgment. Liara didn't mind the pressure at the back of her crest. In fact, she relished it, enjoying the physical proof that Shepard's control was rapidly fading.

"Liara..."

When she heard her name, Liara chanced a glance up at Shepard, although she kept her lips in a tight seal around the sensitive point of her lover's clit. Her bondmate's chest was heaving with anxious, excited breaths, and her eyes were wide and dark. The muscles of her abdomen twitched. "Join with me?"

Resisting that soft request was difficult, almost painful, but Liara was determined. "Mm-mmm," she protested, shaking her head once. The tug and vibrations made Shepard hiss and clench the muscles in her thighs.

"Please?"

With great reluctance, Liara lifted her head again, taking the opportunity to lick her lips and wipe her chin. "Just let me do this for you for a little while. Then we'll Join. I promise." Liara didn't want this to be a repeat of several hours ago, when she had Melded at their first touch without a second thought. That hadn't been a mating Meld, of course, but it had been embarrassing nonetheless. She wanted to focus on Shepard's pleasure this time, and the Union would be a distraction.

Before Shepard could protest, she returned to what she had been doing, parting her lover's folds with long, broad strokes of her tongue, making sure to nudge Shepard's clit each time she reached the top. They fell into a rhythm where time was meaningless, simply grateful for the chance to be close to each other again.

Even without the Meld, Liara felt her body respond as she burrowed her tongue deeper, selfishly pressing it inside instead of paying direct attention to the firm point that would bring her the most pleasure. Shepard didn't seem to object, but the subtle rocking of her hips came faster as she adjusted to the new sensation. Liara smiled inwardly, since her mouth was busy. Although her body language was becoming increasingly desperate, Liara knew that Shepard was indulging her instead of asking for what she really wanted. She had never been able to ignore her Commander's wishes for long anyway, even to satisfy her own desires.

Soon, each stroke of her tongue caused Shepard's hips to buck, although Liara could feel her legs clenching in an effort to hold still. Even with her head down, she noticed the way Shepard's hands clawed at the sheets, bunching them in her fists. She smiled with satisfaction as she heard the thud of Shepard's body hitting the mattress. Obviously, sitting up had become too taxing. Reading her bondmate's body language, she backed away for just a moment, pausing to admire the deep, shimmering pink color of her folds and the incredibly soft texture. Her sensitive bud was peeking out from under its hood, and Liara couldn't resist taking it back between her lips, even though she didn't want the moment to end.

"Liara!" Shepard called out, clutching the bedspread even harder since she couldn't reach Liara's crest while lying down. She did spread her legs wider, giving Liara more access and making an offering of herself.

There were so many things Liara wanted to say as she continued to swirl her tongue, but she could tell by Shepard's breathing that she was getting very close, and the thought of stopping now was unbearable. Without pausing, she slipped inside of Shepard with two fingers, curling them forward sharply until she earned the shout of pleasure she had been hoping for. Then, when Shepard's body seemed to be stretched so tight that she might snap, she sped up the wet circles she was painting with her tongue and pulled harder.

Shepard sucked in a sharp breath through clenched teeth and rode through her orgasm, head swimming and vision blurring as the contrast of tension and release overwhelmed her. Liara did her best to hold on as Shepard arched off the bed, but without the meld, it was difficult to judge where Shepard's hips would move next. She held on to the Commander's thighs, trying to calm her as the harsh contractions faded to small, trembling twitches.

Despite a few soft noises of uncertainty from Shepard, Liara eased her through the aftershocks with slow, steady licks, making sure to clean her inner thighs. Once the rise and fall of Shepard's chest had almost returned to normal, despite the occasional clenching of her abdominal muscles, Liara sat back on her heels and smirked, licking her lips one last time. "That... was exactly what I needed," she said in a rush of breath.

It took a few moments, but Shepard managed to struggle into a sitting position. "I think I needed that, too." She closed her legs and patted her lap. "Why don't you come up here for a while?"

Shepard had hoped that Liara would take her up on the offer, but she wasn't prepared for the enthusiasm with which Liara fulfilled her request. Suddenly, she had her arms full of warm, blue, half-naked asari, and she laughed as she tried to keep from falling over backward. "Hey, you'll get your turn, don't worry. You promised me at least a thousand orgasms."

"There's room to renegotiate our terms," Liara said as she ran her fingers through Shepard's tousled hair. "Once the first thousand is up, we can add another thousand."

"Multiples don't count," Shepard added, not even trying to dampen the smugness in her tone. She spread her hands over Liara's back, sliding them beneath the undershirt she was still wearing. "As delicious as you look in that shirt, I think I want you out of it now."

Liara didn't need any more encouragement. In one smooth motion, the shirt was up and over her head, and she shifted from her comfortable position on Shepard's lap to undo her pants. While she busied herself with her underwear, Shepard bent her head and began kissing down the slope of Liara's neck and shoulder. When her lips wandered lower, near the hardened tip of Liara's breast, she earned a soft 'oh' before the warm weight of her bondmate's body returned to her lap.

As their naked legs touched and their hands settled on each other, something between them changed. Their first encounter was meant to fulfill a specific need. Liara had thought she was dead. She wanted proof that Shepard was alive, that Shepard was still hers, and there was no better proof than sex. But a Joining would require Liara to make herself emotionally vulnerable again, and even though the war was over, past experience had shown her how easily such happiness could be ripped away.

"Shepard, I..." Liara didn't know how to voice her uncertainties, wasn't even sure if she should, but Shepard seemed to understand even without direct access to her thoughts.

"I'll never leave you behind again." It was a question as much as a promise, an unspoken plea for Liara to believe in her just one more time.

Liara didn't even need to think about her answer. If she couldn't put her faith in Shepard – her Shepard, who had given up so much in pursuit of what was right, and had been prepared to sacrifice everything – who in the universe could she trust?

"Join with me. And never leave again." The Galaxy would just have to find someone else to fix its problems next time.

Shepard smiled and took Liara's right hand in hers, bringing the asari's wet fingers up to her mouth and kissing them. Usually, Liara was the one who did this, cleaning her lover's hand after it had been buried between her thighs, but Shepard was more than happy to return the favor this time. The sight of Liara's eyes fluttering and the feel of her weight shifting only made it better.

"Enough teasing," Liara murmured, pulling away and using both her hands to guide Shepard's fingers into place between her legs. Then, before she could second-guess herself, her eyes flashed black. "Embrace eterni –"

"No."

For just a moment, Liara's eyes blinked blue again, and she gazed at Shepard with a foggy, confused look. "What?"

"Don't ask. You never need to ask again. You're always welcome in my mind."

For a moment, Liara wondered if Shepard really knew what she was saying, whether she truly grasped the incredible amount of trust such permission required, but she forced herself to ignore her doubts. Shepard had Joined with her often enough to decide. "I had better be the only asari with that exemption," she teased, hoping that Shepard understood. "And you never need to ask before making love to me. My body is yours whenever you wish." It wasn't quite the same, but since Shepard couldn't initiate the Joinings herself, it was the most she could give.

Shepard's lips split in a grin as she began tracing her fingers back and forth through Liara's wetness. "Really? I like that..."

This time, when Liara touched Shepard's mind, she didn't ask. She could feel Shepard reaching out to her, welcoming her, pulling her in at the first brush of their consciousnesses. Their hearts beat in time with each other and the edges of their souls began to spill over, blurring across the lines that kept them apart.

'Oh, I missed this...' And they had missed this, even though it had only been a few weeks since their last Meld. Once the first thought crossed between their minds, a torrent of others followed, broken bits of sentences and feelings.

Both of their chests ached with the crushing weight of loneliness.

'Never leave me behind again...'

'I'm sorry... so sorry...'

Their eyes stung with the bitterness of guilt. Guilt for separating, for leaving each other, for being torn apart at the end.

'I love you. I'm yours.' It didn't matter which of them shared those words. They were so tightly bound that the thought seemed to come from both of them, and the truth behind it began to heal what had been broken.

They fell backwards onto the bed, locked in a passionate kiss as they relearned each other's minds. Their bodies followed without conscious effort, and the two of them lay side by side as hands and lips claimed as much flesh as they could reach.

'Can't wait –'

'- yes, touch me...'

Normally, Liara didn't prefer it when she and Shepard touched each other at the same time. Even though the Meld transferred physical sensations very effectively, just the knowledge that Shepard's hand was between her legs while she did her best to reciprocate made it difficult for her to concentrate. But this time it was... right. Perfect. She eagerly parted her legs and felt a surge of want when Shepard did the same.

It didn't take long to find a rhythm that made both of them unravel, and soon their skin was covered in a layer of cool sweat. Shepard trembled as she felt Liara tighten around her fingers, so very close to the edge, and decided that delaying the inevitable was pointless. She craved the connection, the bliss she experienced when she and her bondmate experienced the height of pleasure –

'- together?'

'Always.'

They came at the same time, and probably would have done so even without the Union. One of them – later, they couldn't recall which – spared a thought for all the noise they were making, and before they realized it, both of them were kissing again, swallowing each other's cries. Liara was disappointed when her lungs ached with Shepard's need to breathe, and was only able to tear her mouth away for a moment before she forgot herself and reclaimed the Commander's lips.

'Easy... I'm not an asari. I can't hold my breath for as long as you.' The boundaries between 'Shepard' and 'Liara' were no longer quite so blurred, but the two of them felt nothing except peace and contentment. They were whole again.

'My limited need for oxygen can be useful in certain circumstances...'

Both of them laughed and rolled into a more comfortable position, not caring that their muscles ached and their hands were sticky while the rest of their bodies were covered in sweat. Despite all that, or maybe because of it, both of them felt wonderful. "It didn't hurt at the end there," Shepard said out loud, trailing the flat of her palm up and down Liara's spine, pausing to massage between her shoulder blades. "The pain was gone. And the despair... It's still gone."

"It will probably come back," Liara warned her. "We all bear our own burdens, Shepard, and you carry far more than most. But I'll be there to carry them with you."

"Promise?"

"Yes..." She paused and the corners of her purple lips curled up to form a very satisfied smirk. "When I'm not giving you the rest of your nine hundred and ninety eight orgasms, of course."

"You're seriously keeping count?" Shepard groaned. "I think you're going to kill me."

"Only several small deaths," Liara said in English.

Shepard started laughing again, and soon it was infectious. She had no idea how Liara – poor, innocent Liara, who was still occasionally baffled by the nuances of her language – had managed to come up with such a terrible pun. It took several minutes for both of them to stop, but in between fits of giggles and aching stomach muscles, Shepard managed another "I love you..."

"Well then, you are very lucky that I feel the same way."

"I know," Shepard drawled.

"Shepard? I love you, too."

And even as the meld faded, the absolute truth of that statement remained with them. It never left.

The End