Author: Chadini
Pairing: Hodges would like some Wedges. Lab Rats and Greg.
Rating: T for language I suppose.
Words: 1,273
Summary: Greg dares Hodges to throw a party and Henry brings crabs.
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine and if CBS wants to come after me, they can hook up with the Columbia Records and Tapes guy.
A/N: Special thanks to princessklutz for putting up with my flagrant butchering of punctuation. Also, I would like to thank velocityofsound for encouraging me to do something a little different with the prompt. There are no crabwalks, but I hope this fits.
The prompt is Cancer.
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"Hodges, you wouldn't know a good party if it jumped up and bit you on the ass," Greg huffed. Over the last half hour, Hodges had subjected Greg and the rest of the Lab to his ramblings of his "extensive" social adventures while at Williams College. Greg had finally hit his breaking point and was calling Hodges' bluff. "You want us to believe that you were somehow the Mac Daddy of campus…"
"Mac Daddy? Really Sanders? Is that the absolute best that you've got?" Hodges interrupted. "That is so 1983."
Mandy and Wendy looked up from their computer screens to pay closer attention to the conversation. This was going to end badly for either Hodges or Greg and they were ready to take a bet on which man would fail. Both were nerds in their own right, and it is hard to believe that either one would have gone to parties, let alone thrown massive keggers. It is always somehow satisfying to catch someone in a lie, but it loses something when the lie is to cover up ones insecurities or absolute geek loneliness.
"There is no way that I'm, that we, believe that you were the king of campus. No. Way." Greg smugly announced to the room.
Trying to salvage his image, Hodges retorted back to Greg, stepping closer to him, "Well, I was, and chicks from Amherst even showed up to my parties."
"Uh huh. Right. Let me guess, they were all friends with your "hot" florist girlfriend right?" Greg taunted.
Hodges stepped closer to Greg, both of them nose to nose in an absurd Lab Rats version of an old West standoff.
"Look, you leave Cindy out of it," he said wagging his finger at Greg's nose.
"Ok boys, I have the perfect solution, " Mandy said as she stepped in between Greg and Hodges, "We're all scientists here, so let's conduct a little experiment. Hodges, you just got your new place, so woo us with your Mac Daddiness and throw a kick ass party. If it's awesome, you will forever be known as the lab cool guy."
Hodges thought for a moment, trying to carefully weigh his options. If he indeed threw a kick ass party, maybe, that would be the added boost he needed to get Wendy to go out with him. On the flip side, if he threw a flop of a party, he would be the butt of all lab jokes at warp speed. "I don't have anything to prove to you guys…" Hodges began.
Greg burst out laughing, "See? I told you guys."
"But, I have wanted to throw a little house warming party now that I have a new place, so you are on. Next Monday afternoon. Everyone can come by before their shift. Be there or be square," Hodges said, sticking out his hand for Greg to shake.
"Fine," Greg said, shaking Hodges' hand, "You're on. Page me when you have my results on the Vazquez case." Greg said as he walked out of the lab.
Walking over to a nauseous looking Hodges, Mandy leaned over and whispered in his ear, "You do realize that unless you can figure out how to throw a killer party you are so very screwed right?"
Looking over at Wendy, who was focused back on her work, Hodges only nodded. If he couldn't pull this off, she would never go out with him.
All week, Hodges had spent every spare moment reading about throwing the perfect party, watched endless episodes of Top Chef and the Food Network, trying to make sure everything was just right for his bash. While at college, Hodges was not exactly what you would call a party animal. He was more the geeky roommate that did the homework of the party animal.
Spending all week planning each aspect of the party, Hodges had selected the perfect "party music" a nice mix of 70s and 80s, something for everyone. He had also purchased a vast array of party games, ranging from Pictionary to Jenga.
Hodges had picked out what would be the perfect menu for a picnic. He was going old school with hot dogs and burgers - real and veggie - for the grill and had all of the other normal accompaniments. Potato salad, macaroni salad, baked beans, brownies, watermelon, chips - enough food that even Nick would be satisfied. Hodges was just waiting on Henry to bring the last piece.
Having spent years in school on the east coast, it was essential for every party to have some sort of seafood or crustacean for the party. Clams are so passé and lobster is too expensive to buy for everyone so Hodges decided to have King Crab legs. Deadliest Catch is a lab favorite show, so he presumed that the crab would make a fantastic conversation starter.
When Henry arrived, Hodges immediately knew something was wrong. Henry's packages seemed to be moving. It was slight, but there appeared to be movement.
Completely oblivious to Hodges' discomfort, Henry placed his bags on the kitchen counter. "So, what do you need me to do?' he asked.
"Henry? What did you buy?" Hodges said, all the while staring at the bags on the counter.
"Just what you said – crabs." Henry said while opening the refrigerator door to look for a drink.
Hodges walked over to the counter and tentatively opened one of the bags. He was horrified to see entire crabs. Live crabs. With big eyes. And rubber band wrapped pinchers. "Henry, I said crab legs." Hodges said, while in a staring contest with a crab that was desperately trying to free its claws to pinch him.
Opening his bottle of root beer and taking a long swig, Henry said, "Well, they do have legs – see – that one is using his legs right now, trying to crawl off the counter."
"Henry! What are we going to do with these? They are alive!" Hodges whined.
"Well, these were a good deal and, "Mr. East Coast Party," everyone knows that the King Crab legs come from Alaska. Not the east coast. If you threw parties at Williams, you would have had Blue Crabs, " Henry rationalized.
Hodges slid down to the floor, looking up at the crab that was now dangling his pinchers at him. "Henry, I have a confession," Hodges started in a whisper, admitting to the floor. "I, umm, well, I…"
"You weren't the king of the campus? Duh." Henry joked. "I figured as much. I did a little research on the Internet and this things are easy to cook.'
Surprised, Hodges stood up and walked over to the counter, ready to prep the crabs with his friend.
"Ok, be careful, but the first thing we need to do is to take the rubber bands off their pinchers," Henry instructed.
Unsure, Hodges tried to release the rubber bands from the angry crabs. "Are you sure about this?" Hodges asked.
"Uh, yeah, that's what the guy on You Tube did."
"Great, because You Tube is best source of information," Hodges sneered.
"Look, I don't need this, you can do this on your own," Henry said, successfully pulling one claw free.
"No, no. I'm sorry," Hodges said as he hopped on the counter. " I'm just nervous about, you know, the whole thing and OOOWWW!" Hodges yelped and jumped off of the counter.
"What happened? What's wrong with you?" Henry asked.
"That, that thing!" Hodges barked as he pointed to the unrestrained crab on the counter. "It pinched my ass!"
Henry was laughing so hard, he could barely breathe. "Well, at least you got your ass pinched tonight."
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