Ok so I felt like writing something for Shinatty because he gets too little love… I do not own hetalia or the characters! Warning slightly sexual themes and a bit of… OOC I guess?

Hi I am Shiyi Song, also known as Shinatty-Chan, the name my… boss (I guess) gave to me. I know how you readers feel about me. "Oh my god I wish I was him!" "He is so lucky" "Why does he get to be with someone as cute as China?" China, that's the name you people know my boss by. His real name is Yao Wang, and, as I later learned, is the physical representation of China. He lives with his siblings Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Hong Kong and Macau. When I asked how old he was, he gave me the STUPIDEST grin and answered: "I am 5000 years old, aru!"

Well my 5000-year-old boss behaves less mature than a ten-year-old! Living with him is… not fun at all. How? Allow me to tell you of a story.

It was a dark and stormy night and I was sitting in an oversized tutu with an oversized hello-kitty-gone mad headpiece watching "dora the explorer" (the best show for a manly man to watch, I AM DEAD SERIOUS! IT IS VERY EDUCATIONAL AND MASCULINE!). Just when the Mexican girl with a bob-cut is about to call out her friend "map" for the second time, scattered knocking emanated from the door. As a tradition in the house since god-knows-when, I am always the one to open the door.

So I went to the door and saw what I expected to see. My 5000-year old boss looking drunk. On second thought, scratch that. He is drunk. When Yao gets drunk, he gets really drunk. And he always lashes his emotions on me, for I am always the first person to open the door. This time, seeing Yao all red-faced and panting with his hazel eyes half-lidded and unfocused, my first reaction is… to run for my life. Now, I know you guys think Yao is "an innocent little uke", but heck, he is vicious when he wants to be.

I was about to run when Yao hugged me from behind, muttering "Shi…na..tty…chan…" and refusing to let go. I tried to peel his arms off of me, but he refused to let go and continued muttering "I…am…lone…ly…"

Oh shit's about to come down.

"Sorry…but go talk to your brothers instead, they'll help you more than I can, heh?" I tried to peel myself away again but this time Yao climbed to my torso and pinned me down to the ground with a victory smirk on his face. NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU FANGIRLS ARE THINKING! "OMG Shinatty is so lucky!" "I want to be raped by China!" WELL YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THIS SULLIES A MAN'S PRIDE! Being pinned down to the ground by someone that looks meeker that a 14 year old girl! It is worse than dressing up in a tutu with a hello kitty outfit on!

"Shinatty, aru." Yao hissed, lowering his body onto mine, "Why…do…you…run…away…from…me? Aru."

Well if you're in my position you would too.

Yao rubbed his head against my neck and started biting it while ripping my tutu off. AIYA I'M GETTING RAPED!...again. I tried freeing myself from Yao again, and I failed. Yao pinned my hands above me and demanded in my ear: "Why you no become one with mother China?"

Yeah, "mother China" he said that.

You people all think China got it from Russia (who is really creepy), but the truth is… the opposite. China invented it and Russia began using it because he thinks it's cool and now…it became out of control.

To proceed with the situation… Well I assume you fangirls don't want to read about a 40 something year old man being raped by a 5000 year old country, so… zai jian!

Yeah I might update this once in a while when I have the time, but not as a serious storyline, just random crack with the Asian family. I will be taking suggestions and thank you for reading my humble fanfiction!