Why me?
That's the question I asked myself for what had to be the thousandth time this week and it was only 7 am. On a Monday. What happened you ask? Well apparently I'm the brother of the infamous Sailor Moon who died about 10 thousand years ago or so I'm told, and to make things worse, I'm also to be married to some chick named Beryl who I'm told to want the complete and total control of the world and was banished to the negaverse. Or so they say.
Why me god? I swear, it's all Ranma's fault. Ever since I met him things have gotten from normal crazy life in Godzilla infested Japan to FUBAR. First there was that whole time loop event he and I was trapped in for like 5 lifetimes (and we swore to never mention what happened considering all the booze we had and the fact that one of us can turn into a girl...)
Then the was that giant mech war event that for some unexplained reason took place entirely in my back yard. Why? God only knows. As if that wasn't bad, all of Atlantis and El Dorado thought it would be a good idea to move next door to me. Now that wouldn't have been so bad if not for the fact that they hate each other's guts and ended up trying to kill one another on my front porch.
Sometimes I think of moving to Canada but ever since the whole Giant space polar bear with the hockey stick and laser eyes appeared I changed my mind. I'll stick with Godzilla. At least he only appears when other giant monsters attack.
Anyway's, I should tell you my name. It's Koji which means orphan for you non Japanese speaking people. And I live in Tokyo. My best friend, as I mentioned before, is Ranma and has the problem of turning into a girl when hit with cold water. Why cold water? Cause god hates him. No seriously. He told us just the other day when we somehow got teleported into his office yesterday. Don't ask me how the hell a pop tart can teleport people to god cause I have no clue how that happened. (Although it was the best tasting pop tart I had ever had in my life.)
I know my life sounds like a fucking Manga or anime but trust me when I say that it wasn't always like this. There was a time when I had a normal existence (if you ignore the normal Godzilla attacks and the weekly magical girls fighting monsters events) Like I said. I blame Ranma.
Now, I have to explain how I'm the twin brother to Sailor dumb (Sailor Moon's new official name and I WILL say it to her face.) find a way to stop my soon to be wife from conquering the world or something, and try to stay as far away from anything that has to do with time traveling (fucking time loops)
.....Maybe Canada wouldn't be so bad now that I think about it.