Still Standing
Introduction
Sometimes people claim to have an epiphany about their life, like they suddenly understand everything that is wrong and how to fix it in a single moment of clarity. Personally I've always thought that was a load of grade-A hooey, until right now.
My name is Stephanie Plum and my life has a lot of problems and not a lot of clarity. I'm 5' 7" with ok curly, shoulder length hair, an ok body, and a nice smile. I grew up in the Chambersburg section of Trenton and have only succeeded in moving about a mile away. I live in an ok, no-frills apartment that's furnished only slightly better than a college dorm room and I have an ok job as an ok bounty hunter. I roll in garbage and get splattered with mud and blow up cars more than is strictly professional, but I almost never have to wear pantyhose and the job annoys my mother, so I stick to it.
Men are a big source of problems in my life. My on-again, off-again boyfriend, a Trenton cop named Joe Morelli, is six feet of lean muscle and Italian temperament. He has brown bedroom eyes, the best butt in Trenton, and a goofy orange dog named Bob, who I love. We are currently off-again, since we had just disagreed over the ok-ness of my job and he yelled and waved his arms and I stormed out of his house. So much for that.
The other man in my life, a bad-ass bounty hunter and mercenary named Carlos Manoso, street name Ranger, is a complicated combination of my friend, mentor, and sometimes-lover. He thinks my job is fine, but wishes I was better at it. Ranger is just over six feet of solid muscle and mocha latte skin with dark eyes, dark hair, and probably a slightly darker history than I'm completely comfortable with. I trust him with my life, but not my heart. He doesn't 'do' relationships.
I was stopping back at my apartment to change quickly before mooching lunch from my parents and opened the door to one hell of a moment-of-clarity-inducing sight. My foyer and kitchen were dripping from top to bottom in sticky, coagulated blood, and what looked like a freshly slaughtered deer carcass was spread around my living room. I screamed, slammed the door, and had my epiphany in the hallway as I slid down against the wall. I knew exactly what was wrong with my life—I needed a new one.