Restlessness
"I now pronounce you man and wife."
Aang leans forward, his face shining. There's a contagious smile on his face, and she tries to mirror him. His hands pull her close to him, their noses brushing. His smile widens as a blush colors her powdered cheeks. She can see herself in the reflection of his light blue eyes.
"You may now kiss your bride."
Aang tilts his head and their lips meet. He tries to deepen the kiss, but she doesn't let him, embarrassed. She places her hands on his chest and playfully pushes him away. When her eyes open, she finds herself staring into a set of dark, golden eyes, different from the blue ones she had just seen.
Suddenly it's Zuko holding her around the waist. He gazes at her with an indecipherable emotion that she's never seen on him, at least not when he's looked at her. There's a small smile on his face, tiny in comparison to that that had been on Aang's, but it displayed the same amount of... of love. He whispers, "I love you, Katara."
And without a trace of hesitation, she answers, "I love you, Zuko."
Katara opened her eyes.
What kind of dream was that? she wondered, now wide awake. She laid on her back, the cot she had been sleeping on strangely uncomfortable. Katara shifted her weight, trying to relax. She was engaged. And on the night before her wedding day, she dreamt of another man.
What does that mean?
Glancing out her window to the moon, she remembered Yue. Before the Northern Water Tribe princess had given her life for the moon spirit, she had been engaged to a boy she didn't love. But Yue did love Sokka, and she let herself accept that in the end.
Katara frowned. Too bad she couldn't become a spirit.
She immediately felt guilty at the thought. She loved Aang, and she was happy to marry him - wasn't she? "I love Aang," she mumbled aloud. She said it louder to convince herself. "I love him. I love Aang."
The words tasted like rusted metal as they rolled off her tongue.
Frustrated, she flung the sheets off and reached for her silk tunic. It was an engagement present from Suki, perfect for the hot summer nights and chilly breezes of the Eastern Air Temple. Quietly, Katara crawled out of bed, tiptoeing out the room, bare feet sliding across the newly-polished ground. A smile crept up onto her face unknowingly.
No more than ten minutes later, Katara was sitting on her knees, bathed in moonlight. She was hunched over, pulling fistfuls of grass in an anxious frenzy. Once uprooted, the plants were dried, dead. The water she bended from the grass floated around her in droplets, spinning faster and faster. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she couldn't understand why.
Her life married to Aang flashed before her eyes. They go to Kyoshi Island for their honeymoon, and Aang convinces her to ride the Unagi. They visit Bumi in Omashu and ride the mail system again. They have maybe two or three children, and one of them is an airbender. Aang invests all of his time into rebuilding the Air Nomad's culture in Republic City, bringing their son or daughter with him to study. He travels the world, and she can't follow him. She has to raise the children, so they stay in the Southern Water Tribe, or maybe the Eastern Air Temple. Most of the time, she's alone.
"No, no, no," Katara gasped out, shaking her head. Her eyes opened wide and she stared into the great, dark expanse of the night sky. It sparkled as the stars came into view; such a beautiful sight. The tears did not stop flowing. The water droplets that had formed a funnel around her suddenly stopped, forming into sharp icicles similar to those she had created when she confronted Yhon Rha with Zuko.
Zuko.
Suddenly she saw a completely different vision. Zuko stands where Aang had been. He smiles at her on rare occasions. She always smiles at him. He kisses her on their wedding day, and every day after whenever they're alone. He takes her around the Fire Nation, walking through towns and traveling across the country. They create a habit: he surprises her by hugging her from behind, and she kisses the inside of his wrist. Maybe they have children - yes, they do: two girls and a boy. Zuko teaches everything he knows to their son and is completely overprotective with their daughters. He takes care of their family when he's at home, and when he's not, it's as if he still is. He loves her. She loves him. They're inseparable. And she never feels lonely.
She loves him.
"I love him," Katara found herself whispering. She blinked, unsure of whom she was referring to. "I love Aang," she tried, and her throat went dry as Zuko's face came to mind. "I love Zuko."
Her shoulders shook, her body quaking as she came to realize the truth in that statement. "I love him. I love Zuko. I love him." She squeezed her eyes shut and surrendered herself to the thought. Never had she wanted to see his face so much, or longed to be wrapped in his embrace. She thought of his warmth and how safe she felt whenever he was around. She thought of his silly smirk and how she loved to see it turn into that little crooked smile. She thought of how closed off he always was and that she wanted to be the reason he could open up. Her mind whirled, focused entirely on Zuko. Zuko, the Fire Nation Prince. Heir to the throne. Zuko, Aang's firebending teacher-
Then Katara remembered that in the morning, she was going to marry Aang. She would be tied to him - forever. She would never be with Zuko.
"I can't do this."
Aang sat still, his head hanging, fingers folded together. He stared at the floor beneath his feet, lips pinched together. He said nothing as Katara leaned over and placed a gentle but trembling kiss on his forehead. She lingered a little too long, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. Aang stiffened but refused to move.
Katara took in a shaky breath. "I am so, so sorry."
She walked out the bedroom door, her packed bag slung over her shoulder.
She tapped on the wall and leaned against the empty doorway. Her arms were crossed self-consciously across her chest. She tried to keep a calm expression on her face, but remembered that Zuko was able to read her like an open book if he looked at her, really looked at her. Katara's eyes could easily give away anything, especially the fact that everything was wrong. So she stuck to the shadows.
Zuko rolled over sleepily. When he saw her, he sat up quickly, tossing the bed sheets aside. Suddenly he was awake and alert. "What's wrong?" he asked in a rush, striding towards her. Katara's cheeks blushed a deep pink. He didn't notice, walking past her. He was already halfway down the hall, heading to Aang's room. "Where is everyone? Is Aang okay?" He turned, expecting Katara to be right behind him. She wasn't.
He ran back up the hallway, expecting the worst. Zuko glanced quickly into his room, at first thinking that it was empty. He blinked, then realized that Katara was still inside, slumped against a wall. She was holding her face in her hands.
Somewhat confused, Zuko crouched down in front of Katara. He tried to pull her hands away. "What's wrong?" he asked again, his voice soft. His thumbs traced little circles where he held her.
Katara flinched at his touch, scrambling to stand again. "I'm leaving." Her tone was flat. Emotionless. Matter-of-fact.
His eyebrows creased together. "What are you talking about? Your wedding is tomorrow-"
She looked up at him, her eyelashes long and curled. Something in her face stopped Zuko's sentence in the middle of it, and he stared at her, waiting for her to explain. But instead, Katara pressed her lips against his, holding his face tenderly. She breathed out in relief as he inhaled in shock. She kissed him again, and again, and again.
And then he was kissing her back. His hands found their way to her hips and he pulled her closer. There was no space between them. Her body fit into his like a puzzle piece. Katara's hands ran up his chest, tugging at the tunic that covered him. Zuko felt like fire against her. He mumbled something into her mouth, his voice deep, resonant-
She pulled away from him as abruptly as she had pulled him close. Zuko stared at her, bewildered. He tried to look into her eyes, tried to say something.
But she was gone.