Hey guys this is my FIRST story ever written. It takes place Post-Cruel intentions. Enjoy!
Life after my exposition has been an adjustment to say the least. Whoever said "life's a bitch" never had heir dirty little secrets exposed to the world., After being exposed as a master liar and manipulator, Saying that I was a pariah is an understatement. My standing with the heads of the school and the kiss-asses of Manchester was ruined. Post Journal-gate, I was on lock-down. No priviledges. No allowance. no nothing. Luckily Tiffany is too busy with her life to follow through with her"punishments", and has only left me with a warning to never embarass her again unless I want to be kicked out of the house.
Hypocrites
Manchester is practically teeming with alcholics, rapists, murderers, junkies and worse, as cruel irony would have it I'm the one that gets caught with powdered nose candy encased in a platinum crucifix. Needless to say I was stripped of my title as class president and was released from all of my duties. Word traveled fast and I quickly became a shadow of my former self. I wasn't the "Marcia Brady of the Upper East side" anymore, I was a bitch, a slut and someone not to be trusted. Someone hated but still feared. Part of me was relieved that my image of being mary sunshine was over, but my life was on the verge of being ruined by some blonde hick bitch and her bible-thumping hillbilly father.
Luckily I wasn't expelled, my mother used her standing as one of the most generous contributers of Manchester to keep me in school and out of a juvenile detention center. I was only allowed to stay on one condition, I had to go to attend rehab and see a therapist because of the "Disturbing content"(according to Billy bob Hargrove) that was written in that goddamn journal. Luckily some of the content couldnt be taken too seriously because there was no proof of my actions, except for the drugs.
I was sent away to rebab for a month. That place was worse than hell. I was surrounded by losers and psychopaths, shut away from the rest of the world. I hated not having coke to keep my emotions in check. All I could think of was Sebastian and my ruined reputation. Life sucked, plain and simple.Post Journal-gate, I was on lock-down. No priviledges. No allowance. no nothing. Luckily Tiffany is too busy with her life to follow through with her"punishments", and has only left me with a warning to never embarass her again unless I want to be kicked out of the house.
The emotional journey hasn't been a walk in the park either. it has been a months since the unfortunate occurance, within that time I went through extreme depression and anger. I felt pathetic amd stripped of my former self.It was assumed that my life was over. Off course I never went as far as being suicidal. I may have been depressed but I still have my pride and dignity. Only pathetic losers kill themselves. Immediately I knew that being depressed wouldn't do shit. I needed to gain back confidence and retain my standing by any means necessary. Rehab gave me time to think...clearly I might add. I decided that I needed to regroup and pool the resources that I had left. I would rather die than allow my life to go to shit. I only had a year until college, months until I could apply for college.I need all the help I could get. My only aid was Blaine, who would keep me posted on what was going on while I wasn't at Manchester. He's the only person left that I would trust, which is ironic considering he was a close associate of Sebastians, but Blaine was never one for sentiment.
It was going to be a challengle but I personally live for challenges.
It would be hard without being the most adored person in school and it would be hard without my former ally, Sebastian. Blaine is alright but he's not Sebastian. During my time in hell, I thought about my relationship with sebastian. I also thought of the events that caused my ruin. Particularly that damned journal.
I expected some sort of revenge from Sebastian, but never in my wildest dreams would I have ever though I would lose him forever over some stupid game that ended in a meaningless "war". In true Valmont fashion some things written in his journal were harsh yet some were written with an air of adoration. Especially on the picture of me entitled "my love" but also laced with accusatory remarks like alcoholic, drug addict, promiscuous and my personal favorite... benedict Bitch. I didnt know whether to be hurt or flattered. What are considered insults to some people are terms of endearment to sebastain and I.
Our relationship has always been...interesting. I haven't read that journal more than once. It hurt to read it, not because of what it said but because it WAS Sebastian. Every word, Every syllable. Reading his journal made me miss the perverted Bastard even more. Though our falling out was catastrophic, i didnt mean for things to escalate how it did. In the end...i can't change what has already happened.
My first reaction to journal-gate was to hate him with a violent passion that i've ever felt towards someone else. I since decided that it was useless to hate someone who i'll never see again, had he been alive he would experience my wrath first hand but oh no theres someone else more deserving of my attention...
Sebastian was now my past, a past that should be abandoned.
Since then ive kept myself busy in my usual fashion, scheming and strategizing on my next plan of attack.My confidence has returned with a renewed vengance. Although I would love to carry out my scheme alone, I have always known the importance of alliances. My only ally is currently Blaine , but all the same I cant trust him fully with my plans for obvious reasons. He and I both share an amoral nature but he is easily swayed with money, although he will be highly useful he is also dangerous.Its nice to have an ally again but I will never trust anyone else like I did Sebastian, and that may be a good thing. What i've learned is that, for your own good the only person you can truly rely on is yourself. Alliances are useful and fun for sompany but it's foolish to give all of yourself to that person. I had to learn that the hard way. Luckily Blaine is gay and our which means our relationship will be in some was less complicated.
Sebastian and I have always had a twisted relationship. He's of the few people that I have ever trusted. I dont believe in love, at least the love potrayed in movies but I do believe in alliances and trust. Romance fades, in the end all you need is someone you can depend on and trust.
Whomever said "love is blind" must have had Sebastian in mind. If you can call the little romance between Hargrove and Sebastian "love". It was pathetic to see such a rational intelligent man be blinded by an infatuation.I admit that I was jealous. Sebastian always had lovers but what I had, unlike those whores, was his respect. What we had was not the roses and chocolates type of relationship or the fluffy bunnies and kitties kind. Ours was real we were two of a kind, alike in our ruthless intelligence and connected through a similar philosphy. We knew of the harsh a bitter world filled with hypocrites. We knew that we often had to stick together and help each other no matter what. We respected each other and
cared for each other despite our flaws. We didn't need shalloe sentimental bullshit.
A part of me did love him, but it would never have worked out, the most we could have had was a productive and close-knit partnership...with benefits. The fact that he's was my stepbrother makes the situation even more impossible.
In the end, I can't hate him.I also dont blame myself for his death. It was a freak accident that was caused by two dumbasses who happened to be fighting on the damn street further exacerbated by a doe eyed retard who thinks she can break it up. That useless bitch deserved to die, not Sebastian. He died because of his conscience, I learned to supress that part of myself a long time ago, apparently Seabstian hadn't. That was clear when he hesitated to sleep with Annette. Sebastian did change but he would have gone back to his former ways. People don't change overnight. You dont just go from depressed borderline sociopath to pussywhipped Pansy in two months.
He didnt love her. He only "went back" to her because I turned him down. Unlike her i didnt need a journal to know the real Sebastian. She doesnt know him, she knew his facade. Does she know all of his dirty little secrets? Does she know that he suffers form depression? Or his family situation? No. She knows only what he wanted her to know. He didn't even mention a few things in his journal that I think are key in knowing the "mystery" that was Sebastian. A journal wasn't enough to sum him up.
I have prided myself on being a realist. Though I was temporarily blinded by jealousy I clearly see that they were wrong for each other. Shes a naive priss from Kansas...hes...Sebastian.
They've only known each other for two months,i've known Valmont for 6 years.Yet I know every cell of his being and every move. He would have gotten bored with her and dumped her. Whatever intriguing characteristic he may have seen in her would have worn out its welcome in his mind and it would have been over. She wouldn't fit in his world... or with our kind.
Sebastian wasn't capable of being faithful, It just wasnt in him, he loved pussy too much. Although I would have loved to, I couldnt give myself to him fully because I couldnt trust him romantically.The boy was insatiable, one of the traits that I admired in him. I had my reasons for not giving him his "reward". He turned me down the first time, which pissed me the hell off. What pissed me off more was the fact that he slept with the fat virgin but turned ME down. I couldn't let him have what we wanted when he wanted it, i wouldnt let him have power over me. He couldnt throw me away then demand that I spread my legs for him. So i decided to play a few mind games with him. I cant believe he took it so seriously i've called him worse. Most of my little spiel was shit that I said out of spite. He fucking hit ME off course I wouldn't play nice with him, what the hell did he expect? He's seen me when I get like that, but it suprised him to be on the recieving end. I knew the minute he left, our relationship would be altered forever.When he left I felt like he was walking out of my life.It ended up foreshadowing what was to come.
I'm not naive enough to think that had he lived we would have gotten together. We would have continued our strange relationship into college and nothing would have come of it. Although we couldnt be together romantically I miss his friendship. I dont think I could find a replacement, he was one of a kind. I never found the need for friends. The loneliest people I know are constantly surrounded by people. I dont feel the need to be superficially dependent on another. I only can rely on myself. All I can have are close allies.
My therapist said that me and Sebastian's relationship was unhealthy, we were "like two parasites feeding off of each other,bleeding each other dry"...although I love the dark imagery, that prick doesn't know shit. He knows only what I want him to know and what I know will expedite my "recovery" Its truly pathetic to see the hack marvel over how he's "gotten through to me".I know enough about psychology to know how to see through his psychbabble bullshit. Im suprised I havent recieved my Oscar for the movie Poor Lost little rich girl: The Kathryn Merteuil Story.Therapists are useless hacks, a few well placed breakthroughs and they think they think they have you figured out.
I however have bigger fish to fry.
Annette...
God I hate that fucking bitch.
What amuses me about her most is the fact that she thinks she has won. She must not have read Sebastains journal properly.Based on observation,I see that she has become complacent, satisfied with her useless revenge, soaking up the riches of her new life. But it is my experience that one has to always be on edge, especially when it comes to someone like me. It is pretty much a given that I ALWAYS win. I am Kathryn Merteuil the woman that has read The Prince by Machiavelli so many times that I can summarize the chapters by heart.
This whole ordeal is nothing but a bump in the road. A mere challenge. Challenges are my reason for living.
I must say I partly respect her for what she did, had i been in my former position I would have taken her as one of my personal footstools. Who knew the bitch had it in her? I certainly didnt. I love the little one on one conversation in the bathroom before she knew what was to be my fate.Reminds me of something I would have done. Unfortunately for her the bitch only got lucky. No planning was needed for what she did, any idiot would have done it, all that it required is a trip to any copy machine. Im only suprised that she would stoop to my level.
Im sure Jesus is not too happy with his blonde missionary. Its too bad the cunt made one tragic mistake, she didnt kill me or have me put in jail.She should have made the damage more permanent. But no matter..I'll teach that whore a lesson she'll never forget. She took the one thing that I could ever count on, the only person that i've ever truly cared about.
I should actually thank her to be honest. She freed me from the image that I hated. I was no longer Mary Sunshine, and part of that is liberating. Unfortunately I need to play the reformed Bad girl routine to get me in good graces with the heads of Manchester. Everyone loves a comeback and im sure the masses of Manhattans elite would love to see the fallen queen resurrect from the dead and reclaim her throne.
It is sickening to hear about Little Miss Kansas City replace me as the new saint of Manchester, but she'll get hers soon enough, im practiaclly creaming over what i have in store for Annette Hargrove.
I know the people around me better than I know my own parents. Mindless robots who do nothing but follow the herd. It's just a question of getting the respect and allegiance of the right people and the herd will follow.She will soon realize that all of her new friends are useless ass-kissing social climbers who would back stab her at their first chance. Someone like her couldn't handle it. Unfortunately I should't underestimate the Bitch. I should assume shes at my level, in order to assure that my plan goes through as planned and with full effect. My new strategy is more ruthless and careful than i've even been.
My problem is the fact that I worried too much about being loved. As Nicky Machiavelli would say, it is better to be feared than loved. Although I was definetely feared before, I can tell that the sheep of Manchester fear me more than they hate me.Especially know that they KNOW what I'm capable of. They fear me because I know all of their dirty little secrets, even ones not published by Valmont's journal. They know that I can easily ruin each and every one of them.
I was the eyes and ears of Manchester. I know everything about everybody. Bribery will be my new best friend. I know enough information that could get some key students and faculty arrested.
Im literally wet with anticipation
let the games begin...
A/N : Im thinking of turning this into a revenge story starring Kathryn, Blaine and Annette as main characters. I havent decided yet. Based on reviews I'll make my decision. Thank you for reading!