I don't own twilight(sniff, sniff)
Ways to annoy Edward Cullen
Replace all of his CDs with 'like a virgin' CDs
Dare bella to date mike newton
Tell bella to ignore him for a decade
Make alice beat him in every chess game they have
Lock him in a massive room filled with people singing 'like a virgin' in their heads
Put him in a room filled with female paedophiles
Invite him to an all you can eat buffet and give no excuse to not eat food.
Get mike newton to walk around impersonating him
Invite aro for a sleep over
Lock him in a room filled with his crazy fans
Make bella divorce with him as a joke
Get a load of pregnant women and tell him that he's the father of their babies
Tell jasper ate bella
Tell him the someone kidnapped bella
Hide bella and tell him she went cliff diving again
Duck tape him to the ceiling
Hit him with a tree all day
Tell him bella eloped with mike newton
Tell him bella ran away with rose and jasper
Get bella to tell him really bad vampire jokes
Dye his hair pink
Get alice to give him a make over
Lock him in a room with bella and Jacob
Tell him Jacob raped renesmee
Trap him in la push
Make him go to prom with Jessica Stanley
Deface his Volvo
Steal all of his cars
Destroy his piano
Lock bella's bedroom window so he can't go inside
Enjoy!
PS. I don't hate Edward, in fact I love him. I just wrote this for fun.