Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Warnings: None at all really.

This is just a one-shot, something I came up with when I was thinking about things to include in my main story 'A Joker's Fun'. I had this really amusing idea, how someone with no magical background in his or her family would react to some things in the magical world.

The whole add our standard of hygiene and logic to the magical world thing. Problem is, I just can't really fit it in with the whole mood of my story without ruining it, so I just invented a new character for this.

Katherine Kingston is a child of the 90's and grew up with all those handy little gadgets. She meets Luna Lovegood (for there is seldom a better character for such scenes and I don't care for the right time frame here) on the Hogwarts train and both begin to talk about the upcoming school year and sorting.

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"You come from a Wizarding family, right? So how do we get sorted, I mean, there isn't any information available here and I'm really curious."

"I think it is some kind of tradition to surprise all new students and not tell them how we get sorted. But you are lucky, because my Dad thinks that every truth should be made available for the public. He told me it is a wise hat, the sorting hat, which is going to sort us. It is said that it was Godric Gryffindor's hat and has been around since the founders."

"So we have to try on an old hat and it will tell us where to go?"

"Yupp"

"And you aren't pulling my leg here? Seriously?"

"Why should I pull your leg, you are sitting right next to me…"

"Ah, never mind, but please, I beg you, tell me that they wouldn't even consider letting us get sorted with an old, filthy, absolute disgusting hat, which we all should try on?"

"Now that you mention it…"

"Do they even disinfect it after every person who tried it on?"

"What do you mean with 'disinfect' it?

"It is another term for cleaning something, making it really clean and sterile."

"Ah, well probably not every time, maybe every century or so. Why would there be a problem?"

"Have you seen some of those children that come here. This one boy uses more hair gel than most people use in a year! And did you never get those info flyers in kindergarten on how to protect your children against lice? Never try the hat from another child on, ring a bell?"

"Not really, I never went to such a garden, do they grow children there? Muggle really are strange, I didn't think that the difference between us and them would be so huge. I have to ask Daddy later what he thinks about this."

"Luna, they don't grow children in kindergarten, it is just a name for a place where parents can send their children to let them play with other children and to have some peace. It is like school just without the learning and much more finger-paint and games."

"Fascinating, you will have to tell me more about that later, okay?"

"Yes I will, but do you think they would mind if I use my disinfectant before I try this hat on, you can use it, too, if you want?"

"I would very much appreciate that, but do you have this disinfectant on you?"

"Of course! We're going to a new school, do you know what that means?"

"We are going to learn magic."

"Well, yes, but we have to use school bathrooms! What if they don't differ from normal school bathrooms and we have to use them?!"

"And people keep telling me that I'm the weird one…"

"Quit whining! This is serious! Just because they have better cures for all that stuff you can catch without proper hygiene doesn't mean you have to make an extra effort to catch it, I don't to live in the Dark Ages and if this Diagon Alley is anything to go by we are lucky if they have something like a flush lavatory or even a central heating. Oh why did I even come here in the first place? I can't use my MP3 Player or the laptop or call someone; owls are the slowest form of SMS or E-Mails I've ever heard of, never a substitute…"

"And I should quit whining?"

"Please shut-up; I'm having a mental breakdown."

"Ok."

A few minutes only silence dominated the compartment. Katherine kept hitting her head against the window of the Hogwarts Express.

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Just a little bit for fun that I came up with. Maybe I will add more later if I have another idea that doesn't fit into my main story.

What do you think?

Bye

A.I.W.