Here I Am
By Talking Hawk
Author's Note: This can be read as my second sequel of "May It Be So," or it can simply be read as a one-shot about Faramir pondering about his deceased brother. Please keep in mind that I know very little about Faramir, so he may be a bit out-of-character. Also, the song isn't mine, but is Air Supply's "The One That You Love." That's all. =)
I sit here, alone. It is a feeling I have become well acquainted with. Loneliness.
I sit on a rock beneath a thin tree, on a lush mountainside. Before me is the triumphant walls of my home, Gondor, but the sight was not as grand as I had once thought. I didn't love it like I once did.
It didn't feel so much like home anymore.
I know, there was Eowyn there, my love. Still…she was not my brother.
It had all come so much as a shock. My brother, Boromir, the firstborn of my father, dead? Gone? My heart still ached, though it had been so long since he left the mortal life. It was only so short a time ago that I heard…
How could I have gone on after he died? Was it out of not knowing, not suspecting? Oh, I still cursed myself. I should have sensed it – I should have felt it.
I should have known.
[Now the Night has gone
Now the Night has gone
Away
Doesn't seem that long.]
The Great Evil was now gone. Middle Earth was free of its bondage. Still…
* * *
[We hardly had two words to say.]
I stood at the gate, my boots set upon the pebbled road that lead into the city of Gondor. For my brother, it would lead him away – far away to Rivendell. A servant tending to his horse, he smiled and approached me.
He wore his traveling clothes, a cloak about his shoulders for warmth in the Misty Mountains. Boromir put a hand on my shoulder, patting it reassuringly.
I lowered my eyes – not only in sadness, but in envy. The night before, our father had grumbled, "And I had wished it was Faramir who went… Gondor needs Boromir. Gondor needs him to lead his people to victory."
And not me, I suppose.
The gleam not leaving his eyes, my elder brother spoke, "The day has cometh – the sun has already begun to rise." A pause. "Till we meet again, brother…"
I nodded vaguely, and all in an instant, the hand on my shoulder lifted. Taken aback by this, I looked up just in time to see his steed disappear.
Disappear forever…
* * *
I frowned in morose. That day, when you left for the land of the Elves to attend Lord Elrond's Council… Oh, I knew you were going. I was there, even further more. I saw you mount your steed, and leave…
Why had I not said anything? Why had I not told you my heart?
Why didn't I tell you that I loved you?
[Hold me in your arms
But just another day
I promise this one will go slow
Oh
We have the right, you know
We have the right, you know.]
After doing so much… Saving Gondor from Sauron's grasp, you volunteering to protect the Ring…
You giving your life up for it…
We have the right, Boromir. The ring to have one more day…
One more day to say goodbye. One more day to tell you how much I loved you…
And still do.
[Don't say the morning's come
Don't say the morning's come
So soon
Must we end this way?
When so much here is so hard to lose.]
[Love is everywhere. I know it is.] And yet, a woman's love could never be that of brothers. Oh, I could still remember those days that we were but children, and in the midst of troubled tears, you were always there. [Such moments as those were too few.]
[Oh
It's all up to you,]
Gods, to grant me this wish
[It's all up to you.
[Here I am,]
Brother
[The one that you love
Asking for another day
Understand
The one that you love
Loves you in so many ways.]
Tears began streaming down my cheeks. Guiltless tears. I placed a hand on my face, attempting to stop the stream's flow, but then the sobs finally erupted from my chest, my heart.
I could never stop these tears. They poured out my heart's grief, my longing to see my brother again.
White light suddenly surrounded me, and I did not know to hither I was sent. I looked up, the tears drying out of surprise. Everything was white about me, like than of a satin blanket in the palace.
Where was I?
A voice filled my ears – a woman's voice. Her voice echoing eerily, she said, "You have the right, Faramir… You hath earned the right."
What right does this woman speak of? And where should she be?
I rose from where I sat, observing my surroundings – if you could even call it that. It was simply an eternity of light…white light…
All of a sudden, a man walked out of the light, clothed in the same white as the rest of this place. He smiled…
"…Boromir?"
He nodded, his eyes filling with tears similar to mine, but yet, so different. He was happy.
…I was happy.
My eyes widened, and I ran up to him, taking him in an embrace, which he fully returned. I began weeping once more as I clung to him.
"My brother…" I choked in disbelief. "My brother…!"
"Yes," he whispered, rocking me somewhat in his arms, like he had done when I was a child. "Oh, Faramir… It does my heart good to see you again."
As it did mine. But, I didn't tell him…
* * *
"It is time to go," the woman's voice spoke, and I turned to Boromir, a look of fright in my eyes.
"Boromir," I said, "[Tell me I can stay. Tell me I can stay.]" He turned his eyes away guility. This could not be! It was too short a time!. "[Oh please,]" I begged. "[There are words to say - the only ones I can believe.]"
[Hold me in your arms
But another day
I promise this one will go slow
Oh
We have the right, you know
We have the right, you know.]
He looked at me quizzically. "What words do you speak of?"
[Here I am
The one that you love
Asking for another day
Understand
The one that you love
Loves you in so many ways
[Here I am
The one that you love
Asking for another day
Understand
The one that you love
Loves you in so many ways
[The Night has gone
A part of it is the day
I don't know what to say
I don't know what to say.]
But, yet, I did know what to say…
I heaved in a large breath, gathering up the courage I had summoned upon in the most dismal of battles. I had to tell him…
"I…I…oh, Boromir, I do not know how to say it!"
"'Tis all right," he said, placing a hand on my shoulder…as he had done when he left that day. "My heart knows what you speak of. Say no more, my brother."
"It is the time," the voice said once more, and its owner finally came out. It was a woman, with long, flowing auburn hair. She smiled at me sweetly, and gently took my arm, guiding me away. My eyes widened in horror, and pulled my arm from her grasp, turning back to Boromir desperately.
"But I must!" I exclaimed, and the woman stopped in trying to pull me away. I frowned, looking upon my brother. "I…I love you, brother!"
He closed his eyes, and when they reopened, they were glassy with emotion. "As I do you…" he whispered hoarsely.
He then disappeared.
[Here I am
The one that you love
Asking you for another day
Understand
The one that you love
Loves you in so many ways.]
* * *
I opened my eyes, and sat up, looking about frantically. I was back on the mountainside again. I peered about, dumbfounded. Had it all been a dream?
I felt something in my palm, and gazed down at it curiously. There, in the center of my hand, was a green leaf – made of glass. Examining it closer, I noticed it had a rim of gold. 'Twas Elvish craft.
Perhaps it hadn't all been a dream… Perhaps I really had seen my brother again…
Either way, I had told him. I had told him – he now knew.
He knew that I loved him.
By Talking Hawk
Author's Note: This can be read as my second sequel of "May It Be So," or it can simply be read as a one-shot about Faramir pondering about his deceased brother. Please keep in mind that I know very little about Faramir, so he may be a bit out-of-character. Also, the song isn't mine, but is Air Supply's "The One That You Love." That's all. =)
I sit here, alone. It is a feeling I have become well acquainted with. Loneliness.
I sit on a rock beneath a thin tree, on a lush mountainside. Before me is the triumphant walls of my home, Gondor, but the sight was not as grand as I had once thought. I didn't love it like I once did.
It didn't feel so much like home anymore.
I know, there was Eowyn there, my love. Still…she was not my brother.
It had all come so much as a shock. My brother, Boromir, the firstborn of my father, dead? Gone? My heart still ached, though it had been so long since he left the mortal life. It was only so short a time ago that I heard…
How could I have gone on after he died? Was it out of not knowing, not suspecting? Oh, I still cursed myself. I should have sensed it – I should have felt it.
I should have known.
[Now the Night has gone
Now the Night has gone
Away
Doesn't seem that long.]
The Great Evil was now gone. Middle Earth was free of its bondage. Still…
* * *
[We hardly had two words to say.]
I stood at the gate, my boots set upon the pebbled road that lead into the city of Gondor. For my brother, it would lead him away – far away to Rivendell. A servant tending to his horse, he smiled and approached me.
He wore his traveling clothes, a cloak about his shoulders for warmth in the Misty Mountains. Boromir put a hand on my shoulder, patting it reassuringly.
I lowered my eyes – not only in sadness, but in envy. The night before, our father had grumbled, "And I had wished it was Faramir who went… Gondor needs Boromir. Gondor needs him to lead his people to victory."
And not me, I suppose.
The gleam not leaving his eyes, my elder brother spoke, "The day has cometh – the sun has already begun to rise." A pause. "Till we meet again, brother…"
I nodded vaguely, and all in an instant, the hand on my shoulder lifted. Taken aback by this, I looked up just in time to see his steed disappear.
Disappear forever…
* * *
I frowned in morose. That day, when you left for the land of the Elves to attend Lord Elrond's Council… Oh, I knew you were going. I was there, even further more. I saw you mount your steed, and leave…
Why had I not said anything? Why had I not told you my heart?
Why didn't I tell you that I loved you?
[Hold me in your arms
But just another day
I promise this one will go slow
Oh
We have the right, you know
We have the right, you know.]
After doing so much… Saving Gondor from Sauron's grasp, you volunteering to protect the Ring…
You giving your life up for it…
We have the right, Boromir. The ring to have one more day…
One more day to say goodbye. One more day to tell you how much I loved you…
And still do.
[Don't say the morning's come
Don't say the morning's come
So soon
Must we end this way?
When so much here is so hard to lose.]
[Love is everywhere. I know it is.] And yet, a woman's love could never be that of brothers. Oh, I could still remember those days that we were but children, and in the midst of troubled tears, you were always there. [Such moments as those were too few.]
[Oh
It's all up to you,]
Gods, to grant me this wish
[It's all up to you.
[Here I am,]
Brother
[The one that you love
Asking for another day
Understand
The one that you love
Loves you in so many ways.]
Tears began streaming down my cheeks. Guiltless tears. I placed a hand on my face, attempting to stop the stream's flow, but then the sobs finally erupted from my chest, my heart.
I could never stop these tears. They poured out my heart's grief, my longing to see my brother again.
White light suddenly surrounded me, and I did not know to hither I was sent. I looked up, the tears drying out of surprise. Everything was white about me, like than of a satin blanket in the palace.
Where was I?
A voice filled my ears – a woman's voice. Her voice echoing eerily, she said, "You have the right, Faramir… You hath earned the right."
What right does this woman speak of? And where should she be?
I rose from where I sat, observing my surroundings – if you could even call it that. It was simply an eternity of light…white light…
All of a sudden, a man walked out of the light, clothed in the same white as the rest of this place. He smiled…
"…Boromir?"
He nodded, his eyes filling with tears similar to mine, but yet, so different. He was happy.
…I was happy.
My eyes widened, and I ran up to him, taking him in an embrace, which he fully returned. I began weeping once more as I clung to him.
"My brother…" I choked in disbelief. "My brother…!"
"Yes," he whispered, rocking me somewhat in his arms, like he had done when I was a child. "Oh, Faramir… It does my heart good to see you again."
As it did mine. But, I didn't tell him…
* * *
"It is time to go," the woman's voice spoke, and I turned to Boromir, a look of fright in my eyes.
"Boromir," I said, "[Tell me I can stay. Tell me I can stay.]" He turned his eyes away guility. This could not be! It was too short a time!. "[Oh please,]" I begged. "[There are words to say - the only ones I can believe.]"
[Hold me in your arms
But another day
I promise this one will go slow
Oh
We have the right, you know
We have the right, you know.]
He looked at me quizzically. "What words do you speak of?"
[Here I am
The one that you love
Asking for another day
Understand
The one that you love
Loves you in so many ways
[Here I am
The one that you love
Asking for another day
Understand
The one that you love
Loves you in so many ways
[The Night has gone
A part of it is the day
I don't know what to say
I don't know what to say.]
But, yet, I did know what to say…
I heaved in a large breath, gathering up the courage I had summoned upon in the most dismal of battles. I had to tell him…
"I…I…oh, Boromir, I do not know how to say it!"
"'Tis all right," he said, placing a hand on my shoulder…as he had done when he left that day. "My heart knows what you speak of. Say no more, my brother."
"It is the time," the voice said once more, and its owner finally came out. It was a woman, with long, flowing auburn hair. She smiled at me sweetly, and gently took my arm, guiding me away. My eyes widened in horror, and pulled my arm from her grasp, turning back to Boromir desperately.
"But I must!" I exclaimed, and the woman stopped in trying to pull me away. I frowned, looking upon my brother. "I…I love you, brother!"
He closed his eyes, and when they reopened, they were glassy with emotion. "As I do you…" he whispered hoarsely.
He then disappeared.
[Here I am
The one that you love
Asking you for another day
Understand
The one that you love
Loves you in so many ways.]
* * *
I opened my eyes, and sat up, looking about frantically. I was back on the mountainside again. I peered about, dumbfounded. Had it all been a dream?
I felt something in my palm, and gazed down at it curiously. There, in the center of my hand, was a green leaf – made of glass. Examining it closer, I noticed it had a rim of gold. 'Twas Elvish craft.
Perhaps it hadn't all been a dream… Perhaps I really had seen my brother again…
Either way, I had told him. I had told him – he now knew.
He knew that I loved him.