Professor McGonagall and the Lampshade Hat
Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling, I don't claim to own anything. Oh, and I took a quote from topaz at the end too.
Scene: One seemingly normal day during breakfast on the Great Hall.
Harry: Fred is there something wrong? You and George haven't gotten into to any trouble for a week.
Ron: Yeah, and Filch has almost stopped glaring at you!
Fred: Alright there is something wrong. I'm in love, and she never seems to notice me.
Harry: Who? Is it Angelina?
Fred: Look, here she comes!
Harry: (Looking around, only sees owls delivering mail) Where?
Fred: There! That's her!
Harry: Do you mean Hedwig?
Fred: I admit it. (To Hedwig) Hedwig you have my undying love. My mum might not approve, but I love you.
George: But, but I do too!
Fred: Yeah well, I loved her first!
George: No I did!
Fred: She's mine, I love her more. Do her white feathers turn you on?
Harry: Ewww! You guys, please, I don't want to know!
George: There's only one way to solve it.
Fred: You mean-
George: Yes, I challenge you to a Wizard Duel!
Harry: No-
Ron: Don't-
Hermione: You aren't serious, are you?
George: (Standing up) Ten paces away, we fire on the count of three
Fred: She's the light of my life
George: And the meaning of mine. One… Two… Three
Scene: Small explosion occurs. George and Fred faint laughing.
Dumbledore: Is anyone hurt?
McGonagall: I think I'm blind.
Dumbledore: (turns with twinkling eyes) No, you have a lampshade hat on. Didn't George learn how to do that in your class?
McGonagall: Shut up!
Snape: (Laughing hysterically) Help! Ha ha! I'm choking! Ha!
Hagrid: Heh! This ought to do the trick! (Hands over a large flask)
Snape: (Choking on whiskey) Hic! Thanks, I was laughing too hard. Hic!
Hagrid: Er, maybe I shouldn't have given yer that. It's, er, rather strong.
Harry: Ron, is it just me, or is Snape drunk?
Dumbledore: Snape, I think you should
Snape: Dance in a pink sparkling tutu?
Dumbledore: Um-
Snape: Goody! ((Magic-ing into a ballerina costume, starts twirling on the staff table)
Dumbledore: Someone, run and fetch a house elf and Madame Pomfrey to stop this nuisance!
Scene: Madame Pomfrey bustles in moments after a frazzled looking Dobby appears.
Dumbledore: Alright, we need to fix McGonagall and Snape.
M. Pomfrey: This wasn't in my contract.
Dobby: (Zapping lampshade off) Ms. Professor McGonagall, can I help you?
McGonagall: (Running out) No!
Harry: You know, Snape is a pretty good dancer.
Neville: Ewww! A-and I thought h-he was sc-scary in c-class!
M. Pomfrey: If I can get the tutu off the spell will be reversed. (Zaps tutu off)
Scene: Snape has nothing under tutu. Whole Hall is silent. Slowly people start laughing. Crying, and puking.
Dobby: Ahhhhh! My eyes, my eyes!
M. Pomfrey: This soooo wasn't in my contract!
Scene: Prefects bathroom
Harry: Um, Ron, either Dobby is drowning, or he got stuck in the bathtub washing his eyes out.
Ron: Pull, pull. I want to see how red his eyes will be after all that soap.
Dobby: Help, I think I'm stuck to the soap.
Moaning Myrtle: (Grins evilly)
Harry: (Straining) He's almost loose.
Ron: Wow his eyes are red!
Harry: Shut up and help!
They eventually get Dobby free.
Scene: Gryffindor Common Room. White feathers scattered everywhere. Harry and Ron walk in.
Harry: Aaaa! Take my owl; just don't tell me!
Ron: Eww! I don't want to know!
Fred: (Grinning) You're right!
George: (Grinning) You don't!
THE END!!!