Skin Deep (Oyake Ni Hadaka)
by Ysabet
(Based on my 2006 Birthday Pic by Icka M. Chif, from a story of hers called "Guard Dog". Go Icka! The link to the pic and Icka's website is at the end of this fic.)

Standing in front of his mansion, Kaiba Seto crossed his arms and glared.

Facing him defiantly from where he leaned against a column by the door, Jounouchi Katsuya crossed HIS arms and glared.

And from his place hiding in the bushes, Kaiba Mokuba rolled HIS eyes and glared as well. "Will you get on with it already?" he hissed at the two, keeping his voice low. Beside him his 'brother' Noa nodded vehemently as Mokuba wiped a bead of sweat away from his forehead.

The whole thing had all started with the simple, innocent flip of a coin…

Maybe it had been the heat. Summer had been busily baking away every last shred of cool air for a month or so now, and things like this just happened when people got overheated. A week earlier it had been such a silly thing; it hadn't improved, thought Mokuba, but it sure had grown—sort of like a huge dog that you bought as a puppy and kept feeding, and then one day it was larger than your lap and eating you out of house and home…

They had all three been waiting for a board meeting to start (emphasis on 'bored'), and Jounouchi had idly begun flipping a coin through the air, catching it in one palm over and over. Irritating, if you were anybody but Kaiba Seto; he saw challenges in the weirdest things sometimes. So he had called it—'heads'—and been right; and Jounouchi had gotten this Look on his face…

(In memory, Mokuba winced. Some people had a competitive streak; other people had competitive stripes, spots and paisley patterns.)

Forty-nine tosses-and-calls later, they had been running eighteen correct calls for Nii-sama to the blond's sixteen; they'd had to delay the board meeting a bit to finish off with an even fifty. And THAT had led to the next little contest— Mokuba had actually really liked it at the time, watching them. Nii-sama hadn't played this much, outright played, since they had both been little.

Most of the games had been totally spur-of-the-moment and harmless, amusing if you had the kind of insanely aggressive personality that characterized a Kaiba: betting on how many foreign cars they would see on the way to the office, whether or not an odd or even number of birds were roosting on a telephone line (you had to count them quick), or the number of characters in an incoming office email. Stupid things, really, good ways to pass the time while waiting in the sun or an air-conditioned car.

And then….

(Mokuba winced again. In a way, it had been his fault, sort of. In a way.)

…and THEN two days ago Nii-sama had been gloating over winning their most recent little competition ('Next time pick something harder than Jo-Ken-Po.' 'Bite me, Kaiba.'), and Mokuba had snickered. "You two ought to play for some sort of stakes," he had said offhandedly as Jounouchi sulked. "I mean, you never do. And you never Duel—"

"Dueling's for dueling arenas," Nii-sama had answered, smirking. But one eyebrow had gone up in thought… and then Jounouchi had blinked… and… All it had taken then had been a little discussion about the rules.

And 'Sudden Death Duel Monsters' had been born.

It had to have been the heat. Right?

Dinner that night had been quieter than usual while the two worked out their lists of 'stakes'. Mutual agreement had produced the following: A) There would be ten duels; each would pick five penalties. B) Nothing damaging to either Kaiba Corp or the player's friends/family/so forth would be among the penalties; C) Audiences and/or outside help could only be involved if the winner chose to allow it; and D) There Would Be Absolutely No Picture-Taking Allowed By Anyone Whatsoever, Especially Mokuba.

Other than that…

Kaiba's eyes had narrowed in speculation. "One more rule, just to spice things up a bit," he had purred. And thus had formed rule E): All penalties would be mutual. That is, they would be written down and put into Mokuba's possession; he would determine who did what, using coin-flips, dice or whatever means he chose, so long as it was arbitrary and totally random. That meant that the loser might easily draw and have to perform one of his own suggestions…

'Rule E' had caused a few hasty revisions on Jounouchi's list. Kaiba, on the other hand, had merely smiled and underlined a word or two.

At that point, Mokuba had put his own five yen in. "You could still play Duel Monsters, though," he had said as he scribbled card-designs in the sauce on his dinner-plate with one chopstick. "You could do a high-card-wins kind of thing, like you showed me in Poker, Nii-sama. It's not like it's a new idea, and it'd be really fast."

Jounouchi had blinked. "You taught him to play poker?"

"Of course."

"…neat. High card wins, huh? Yeah, we could do that," mused the blond. "It'd have to be monsters only, though, no magic or trap cards… no defense points either, just attacks. And no repeats until we've used up all the monsters in a deck. Huh; I like that. Could work. Mokuba, you're a genius!" He had looked up from his list, grinning suddenly, and drawn a card from the deck that lived permanently in his right-hand jacket pocket. "Hey, Kaiba? Draw."

The head of the world's largest gaming company had gotten a gleam in his eye, also producing his own ever-present deck and pulling a card. "Hmph. Ryu-Kishin Powered," he had said smugly. "Not the strongest of my deck by any means, but not bad for a blind draw. 1600 on the attack—"

"—but it doesn't beat my Garoozis card—read 'em and weep, Kaiba!" crowed the other, brandishing the dragon-headed axe-bearing picture. "1800 attack points! And the Jou-Meister wins!" As Mokuba had smothered a snicker the blond bodyguard grinned at him. "Your call, Mokuba; what's he got to do?"

"Ummm…" The boy had frowned, then pulled a pair of dice from a pocket. "We were playing Craps yesterday at recess," he had explained to two pairs of raised eyebrows. "I won. Let's see… If the roll's odd, I'll use Nii-sama's list; if it's even, I'll use Jounouchi's. Then I'll roll for which penalty—" The dice had rattled across the table towards his brother, who had been openly sulking. "Five… and a three. Nii-sama? What's the third thing on your list?"

Nii-sama had winced.

And that had been the birth of 'Sudden Death Duel Monsters' and, incidentally, the reason why the CEO of Kaiba Corporation had been forced to sing the Pokémon theme song out loud that evening at his own dinner table.

(In the bushes, Mokuba sighed. Yeah—it had to have been the heat. Nii-sama would normally have preferred to commit seppuku with a spork before doing something like that, especially in front of Jounouchi. So why hadn't he? Not that Mokuba wanted him to commit seppuku or anything, but-- The boy shook his head and got a tighter grip on his camera.)

So far, the results of the nine duels since had caused each duelist to do quite a few rather improbable and/or embarrassing things. Some of them had been fairly mundane ("More peanut-butter on the next sandwich, Kaiba. Yeah, you heard me! Hop to it, chop-chop!"); a few had been downright boring ("You want me to read the whole Wall Street Journal out loud to you? You are such a freak—" "Shut up and read.") and one or two had made the staff stop in their tracks ("Where do we keep the laundry soap?" "Errr—in the basement w-with the washers-- Kaiba-sama, would you like me to help you with those… garments?" "No. Go away.") And then there had been the most recent duel, number ten out of ten—

…which they were about to start, standing there glaring at each other in front of the house. Sweating, Mokuba hunched a little deeper into the bushes, one hand firmly clutching his camera. There was only one 'penalty' left on the lists by now, and no matter who won or lost, he wasn't going to miss capturing it for posterity this time…

"Draw!"

They drew.

Kaiba chuckled; and Jounouchi… winced; his tail and ears drooped beneath the hot summer sun. "Steel Ogre Grotto #2," Nii-sama purred. "1900 attack-points. Well?"

The bodyguard muttered something beneath his breath. "I don't believe I heard you," murmured the CEO. "Would you care to repeat that?"

Sigh; Jounouchi's tail drooped even further. "…Swordsman of Landstar," he growled.

"Only 500 attack points? Your luck's out today, it seems," smirked his opponent. "Mokuba? Would you do us the kindness of coming out of the bushes and naming the penalty? And you can leave your camera behind."

The two boys traded betrayed looks. Busted… "Yes, Nii-sama," Mokuba sighed, climbing reluctantly to his feet. Behind him, his virtual sibling faded into an obscure blur of projected pixels among the leaves, hoping to remain unnoticed. He pulled out the two smudged and creased lists from his pocket; no need for the dice this time, since there was only one penalty left and it wasn't from Nii-sama's list. "Um, Jounouchi? You've got to—"

The blond shoved his hands into his pockets. "I know, I know, I know… I wrote the thing, didn't I?" He groaned.

Kaiba's lips twitched. "You did. And I believe we need an audience for this one—it is the last in a series, isn't it?" His opponent's jaw dropped in outrage. "Rule C, remember? The winner can call on an audience or outside help. And I believe that Mutou will be arriving shortly for dinner, so…"

Belatedly Mokuba remembered that the coming evening was Movie Night. Uh-oh. "Do you want me to read it out loud?" he asked his brother dubiously, staring at the paper. It was only a few words long.

Nii-sama chuckled again. "No. Just this once, surprise me."

"…………."

There was a moment of silence; Jounouchi's ears suddenly perked up, and he raised his head to give his opponent a long, peculiar look that ended with a slowly widening, very evil grin. Mokuba's own eyes strayed back to the list. Oh, that had been the wrong thing to say…..

The bodyguard crossed his arms, his grin growing broader all the time. "Ooookay; suits me. See ya at dinner, Kaiba, Mokuba." And without another word, the blond stuffed his deck back into his pocket and sauntered back into the mansion, whistling beneath his breath. Behind him, Nii-sama blinked once, looked slightly taken aback and followed, muttering comments regarding the other's sanity or lack thereof as he went.

Mokuba glanced over at the bushes. "Niisan?" he whispered. "Wait'll you see this—"

Noa drifted back into stability, joining him soundlessly to peer down at the list. "Erk!"

"Uh huh. You really think he'll do it?"

"Jounouchi? Mmhmm."

"………we have GOT to get pictures this time. I don't care if Nii-sama grounds me for a month."

Noa laughed. "About that… actually, there's something I wanted to tell you—"

Dinner had been… interesting. Oddly enough, the person in the room who had twitched the most had been Nii-sama, not Jounouchi. And Yuugi-kun had just looked perplexed until the rules of their little competition had been spelled out. At that point he had just frowned contemplatively and remarked that it was a good thing that he and his Other Half hadn't thought of that when they had been together, all things considered.

Mokuba thought of the Pokémon theme-song and the Pharaoh and shuddered in agreement. Those two things just didn't belong in the same world, Millennium Items or no Millennium Items. Noa, perching in holographic imagery on a chair beside him, went a little pale at the very idea. "So, no movie tonight, huh?" Totally oblivious of the trauma he had just caused several innocent minds, the King of Games looked bemusedly at his hosts.

"No," said Nii-sama with an amused (if slightly wary) quirk of his lips. "Jounouchi will be providing a floor show for us, however… Mokuba? Perhaps you should read out his penalty aloud after all—"

His younger brother shrugged, pulling the list from his pocket and opening his mouth… before a large hand plucked the piece of paper from between his fingers. "Hey, no way;" Jounouchi was grinning an awful lot for someone who had lost. "Instead of that, why don't I just take my punishment like a man? Don't wanna spoil the surprise, do you?" The blond glanced up at the nearest wall-clock. "And there's no time like the present, right? You lot head out front; I'll be out in a minute…" Moving fast, the bodyguard left the room at a trot, tail waving like a banner.

At least the lack of photos was no longer an issue, considering what Noa had told him that he had done to the security cameras… The boy grinned conspiratorially at his virtual sibling, pushing his chair up to the table as he stood. Nii-sama was almost looking worried now, in so far as he was capable of the emotion; he stood up too, heading for the exit while Yuugi and his brother trailed along behind, Noa drifting like a ghost at the back of the party.

"…Mokuba? Just what was the penalty?"

"Umm…" The boy hesitated. "Nii-sama? You might not want him to do this one—"

Nii-sama's chin went up, and his two brothers winced; they both knew what that look meant… "Never mind," he growled as they passed the front door and paused on the porch. Behind them, Jounouchi's footsteps thumped down the stairs. "Whatever it is, I'm sure I can—"

"All right!" The blond skipped past them, a large grin on his face, ears up and tail waving at the world.

"—can—"

And that wasn't all that was waving… Mokuba's jaw dropped; beside him, Nii-sama froze in his tracks. And Yuugi-kun blinked, impossibly wide violet eyes growing impossibly wider. "J-Jounouchi?"

"………...can……….…"

Nii-sama was still talking in a peculiar, strangled sort of voice as one of his hands came up mechanically to cover his little brother's eyes. "NEE-samaaa!" yelped the teenager, shoving fingers out of the way. Immaterial fists clutched at his hair, and behind him he could hear Noa absolutely going into convulsions of laughter—

"SKINNY-DIPPING TIIIIIIME!"

--as a very naked, very doggish Jounouchi bounded past them all, heading straight for the ornamental koi-pond.

"……..nnnn?...NNGH……….."

Mokuba winced. They really should've considered adding "no public nudity" as Rule F. He stared down at the crumpled scrap of paper in his hand; Jounouchi's final remaining penalty had read 'Skinny-dipping, and I mean NO clothes, okay?'

Golden Retrievers just loved water.

"LAST ONE IN HAS TO DUEL INSECTOR HAGA!"

There was an enormous splash, and Mokuba had a moment's pity for the estate's prize koi. He looked up at his older brother, who was still making sort of garbled "Nnngh" noises and had turned a really amazing color. "Next time, let Jounouchi win, okay?" he said sympathetically, grabbing a wrist and towing him firmly along towards the pond. Yuugi-kun had already tossed his shirt off and was making his way at a beeline for the water (apparently his earlier shyness had gone to the Afterlife with his other half) and Mokuba figured that—well, it was a lot better to jump in on your own than to be dragged in and stripped.

Dogs loved to play 'fetch' too.

"C'mon, Nii-sama—"

"Nnngh?"

And besides, it was still awfully hot outside.

--Owari--

Ysabet's Notes: 'Oyake ni hadaka' means 'public nudity.' I couldn't find the term for 'skinny-dipping'. Thank you hugely for doing the pic, Icka! Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark! Woof! And you can find the pic at Icka's website, right here: slash slash pics dot livejournal dot com slash ickaimp slash pic slash 0005a2dc slash. Go take a look! And it comes from her story "Guard Dog", found here: doubleyew doubleyew doubleyew dot mischief dot net slash writings slash current slash ygoguarddog dot htm.