12/25/13
A/N: I started watching Being Human U.K. Christmas Eve & I love it! I mean I've only watched 2 episodes, but whatever. I don't even have to watch it in order to write a fanfic for it. (Record time for becoming obsessed with something & writing a fanfic for it, btw, I think. Or that went to Breaking Dawn Part 2...) The whole vampire love story thing had actually had been bugging me for a while so I decided to write it into a vampire love story. Holla.
Anyways, some characters may be OOC since I'm only two episodes in.
Disclaimer: I don't own Being Human U.K. (or U.S.).
Please enjoy! Please review!
There's a lot of things campy teen vampire romance novels won't tell you, and that's how hard it actually is to live with a vampire. Or a werewolf. Or a ghost. It's because they don't want to shatter the illusion of eternal love and a deep burning passion inside a supernatural creature that only a mortal can satisfy. Let's face it: real life doesn't sell.
Right now you're probably thinking, "But what about biographies? And self-help books?" What? Do you really think that "make you better" books are real life? That a book can tell you how to be a better person, or a better lover or a better human being? And don't you think there's at least a few embellishments in every biography?
Fantasy sells. Science Fiction sells. Romance sells. The undead sells. Every little girl's dream used to be about her pink princess dress and knight in shining armor coming to take her away to his castle to live a happy life full of puppy dogs and ponies and rainbows. Now it's about being bitten by a vampire and given the "gift" of eternal life and living a long undead life full of coffins and black velvet and constant brooding.
I don't think people have really grasped the concept of eternal life. It's forever. It's sempiternal. It is literally for all of time. Some girls may be thinking, "Hey! That's great! I've finally met a guy and we never have to grow old or die or anything!" But think about it. Just you and him, forever. Most couples can't even go 5 years without divorcing. How are you going to handle til the end of time? Not to mention your family, your friends and your pets will all pass away. People older than you, people younger than you, everyone. You'll watch people grow old and die while you just sit around at 17 years of age with your vamp boyfriend who's most likely 500 years your senior.
And, seriously, what's with girls wanting to be turned into vampires immediately after having met the guy? Half the time they're in high school (which I understand – the readers need to be able to relate to the protagonist) but to be eternally 17? At least be 21, that way you can buy alcohol and cigarettes and whatnot. You don't want to be stuck forever at an age where you can't do anything. (Take note of Claudia from Interview with the Vampire. Eternally, what? 8 years old? Great.)
Anyways, the age thing is not really a problem. Well, it is but not that big of a problem. The rest of the lies spread by the media is how "romantic" it is to be in love with a vampire (or a werewolf) and let me tell you, it's not. What is romantic about being in love with a dead guy? Not only that, but a guy that's been dead for hundreds of years and is still hanging around? You don't see any zombie love stories, so why vampires? (Okay, there was that one movie.)
Maybe it's because you can make vampires hot and zombies are just kind of … rotting. And werewolves? Talk about the bad boy character. "Oh he might hurt me when he transforms, but love can power over all!" Not every bad boy is a diamond in the rough. Sometimes they're just lumps of coal, and that's all they'll ever be.
But I think the thing that bothers me the most about all of these fantasized, romanticized, fetishized ideas of vampires is that the guy is always like, "I can't control myself around you because I'm addicted to blood because I'm a vampire and that's what vampires do". Okay, I understand that. You can't be around blood for too long or else you get all buzzed and start craving it. So what do you do? You leave. You don't surround yourself with human, mortal girls. Hello, "that time of the month" thing doesn't just apply to werewolves.
I mean, they say that they can smell the blood just under our skin – they can "hear the blood rushing through our veins" and it's "way too strong" for them to resist. So if that's true then why aren't they freaking out for a whole week during the month when our own "werewolf cycle" comes around?
I'll tell you why. It's because the media lies. They want to make you think that everything is good and fine when it's not. The only drama that should be happening is you not knowing whether the girl ends up with the vampire or the werewolf. You think you're safe during that time? You think that your vampy boyfriend can resist your blood during the other three weeks of the month so he'll be fine during that one week? No. They can smell blood at all times. I repeat: they can smell blood at ALL times.
So whether you've nicked yourself cutting up some vegetables for a soup, or you've skinned your knee falling down the stairs, or you've gotten a paper cut opening a letter, or it's that time, you're never safe. They can smell it on you.
I would know.
I live with a vampire.
And a werewolf.
And a ghost.