Disclaimer: I do not own twilight, no matter how much i want to0.

Messing With Jasper

Emmett's POV

That was it. I've had it. He's crossed the Rubicon and burned the contract at the same time. He was a dead mean, well a dead-er man. This was the last time he had messed with my emotions, and this time he was going to pay.

"JASPER!!!!!" I screamed, as I tackled him to the ground and raised my fist, "You son of a-,"

"What is going on here?" said Carlisle, calming watching the scene from the safety of the staircase. At that moment a tomato-red Bella and murderous Edward stalked into the room, and pounced on Jasper. By now he was quite beat up, but laughing manically at the same time. Psycho. A wave of calm spread around the room, and I dropped Jasper, but continued glaring at him.

"What now?" asked Carlisle.

"Jasper was bored so he send out list waves to Bella and Edward, but it hit me instead so I accidentally kissed Bella!" I said, pointing at my so-called-brother. Behind me Bella blushed deeper, if possible, and Edward was as stiff as a board.

"Jasper, why? What has anyone here done to you?" said Carlisle wearily. If he weren't a vampire I bet he would be all gray by age thirty.

"Well, I was bored and no one would talk with me so… I thought it would be funny!" burst out Jasper between fits of laughter.

"Jasper Hale, you're grounded from your powers for the next two weeks, and if you use them without mine, or Esme's permission, it will be another two weeks." Said Carlisle, already walking back to his study. Jasper looked scandalized.

Hmmmm, my devious brain was already in action, thinking of all the ways I could get back at Jasper without him being able to use his powers of persuasion, so to speak. Most people don't believe it, but I am actually very bright if I want to be. It has to be something he loves, something he cherishes, like my right arm that got ripped off by Edward five minutes ago…I left the dream couple on the couch downstairs and walked up to my room mulling over some possible ideas: Total his car? Nope not good enough. Post pictures of him and Alice on the Internet? No, still not good enough…. Then it hit me. The most wonderfully ingenious, and most destructive plan ever on the face of the universe came to me: right here in my ninja turtle PJs. And who said I wasn't intelligent?

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Ok, for this masterminded scheme to work, I will need two buckets of pink paint, some plastic diamonds, sparkles, angel wings, a ballerina tutu, and a sharpie. One trip to Walmart took care of those, but now I needed to somehow get INTO jasper's room.

Edward, I know you're in my head so meet me in the clearing by the river, mk?

I was there in five seconds, using vampire speed, and Edward was there in six.

"What is it Emmett? Got your head stuck in another toilet?" he said smirking.

"That was one time!" I muttered sheepishly, "anyway I need your help to get back at Jasper for making me kiss Bella." Quickly I explained my plan to him and he was grinning when I was done.

"Gotta hand it to you Emmett, you are a genius." He said.

One hour later I was in position with the supplies, while Edward mentioned loudly that Bella needed new shoes while Alice was in earshot. So, of course, both of them, including Jasper, got dragged to the mall. Esme was out grocery shopping and Carlisle was at work, so I had the house to myself. Muhahahaha. I ran up to jasper's room and carefully lifted down the black case inside his closet. Behold jasper's civil war uniform, and it's about to get a makeover.

Laughing, I painted it all pink, nothing was spared. The jacket and pants were painted so I sprinkled the glitter on it and planted a giant plastic diamond on the belt. Next I glued on the angel wings and stuffed the tutu onto the waist, and stepped back to admire my work. It looked like the pink fairies had gone to war.

I heard a loud screech outside. Shoot, I forgot Alice and her visions. I had to make my escape. Quickly I burst out the window and took off into the woods, but I still heard the scream, music to my ears:

"EMMETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So Whatcha think? Likeit?Loveit?Hate it? R&R plz!