Backstory for those who don't know: This is a mix of Fruits Basket and Lord of the Rings. In Fruits Basket, when a member of the Sohma family is hugged by someone one of the opposite gender they turn into one of the Chinese Zodiac animals. They turn back after awhile but when they do…well, you'll find out. That is if you don't already know.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or LOTR. Or anything else of value. But I wish I did. --;

These are the character match ups for this story. There might be slight changes in the future, so bare with me for now:

Tohru Honda- Frodo Baggins

Kyo and Yuki Sohma- Samwise Gamgee (they had to both be put in that character's position for Fruits Basket related reasons)

Uo- Merry

Hana- Pipen

Haru Sohma- Gandalf the Grey

Tohru's Grandpa- Bilbo Baggins

Hatori Sohma- Aragorn

Kana- Arwen (Somebody had to be Aragorn and Arwen so I figured it might as well be people who were in love. -)

Ayame Sohma- Legolas

Shigure Sohma- Gimli

Momiji Sohma- Gollum (Don't worry! He won't die!)

Kagura Sohma- Gladriel

Ritsu Sohma- Elrond

Hiro Sohma- King Theoden

Kisa Sohma- Eowyn

Kureno Sohma- Boramir

Rin Sohma- Faramir (I know she's a girl, but there were no more boy characters for me to use.)

Akito Sohma- Sauramon

P.S. I'm a writing travesty. Please don't laugh at me. I can't write descriptive sentences.

Chapter 1: Haru's Return

A young girl sat up against a tree in a vast expanse of forest. Hearing the sound of a person coming down the nearby dirt trail, she stood up to greet the traveler. The traveler just happened to be a tall young man with handsome features anyone would envy and hair whiter than snow. Upon seeing the traveler, clad in a gray robe, the young girl's face lit up. "You're late." The girl said to the traveler.

The teen looked up at the girl and frowned. "A Sohma is never late. Nor are we early. We arrive precisely when we mean to."

A moment of silence occurred between them until the two burst out in laughter for reasons unknown, because the joke wasn't really that funny. The girl suddenly jumped at the man and engulfed him in a bear hug. A loud pop sounded through the forest and suddenly the girl was hugging a rather large cow with a tuft of white hair on its head.

"Oops. I forgot." She giggled.

"It's all right Tohru. Since you're here, why don't we go into town together? You can ride on my back if you like." The cow responded.

The girl nodded then hastily climbed onto the previously man gone livestock and tightly hugged his neck. "It's wonderful to see you Haru!"

"Umm, that's a…nice Tohru, but uh…you're…squashing my…larynx…" Tohru quickly released her death grasp and the sputtering Haru gathered himself. He chuckled for a moment, which was really weird considering cows can't laugh, then proceeded down the road toward the town.

As they approached the little village, people came out and smiled in delight at the sight of Haru. They quickly ran back into their houses and gathered baskets of food and clothing for the cow and piled it onto Tohru's lap, then hastily scampered away like English school girls.

"Why can't all towns I travel to love me like yours does?" Haru questioned.

Walking further down the road, they come up to a block of houses. Haru tried to be nice, but the people in these houses were less friendly and some even scowled at seeing the cow.

"You've lost your touch with these people, Haru."

"Have I? I'd rather think of it as a temporary malfunction. Give me an hour and a basket of muffins and they will love me yet."

They continued down the road until they reached a small house embedded into the side of a hill. Tohru hopped off of Haru and walked him to the door where she rapped on the hard wood. Bustling could be heard from inside as a voice shouted, "Kyoko? Is that you?"

Tohru giggled and said, "No Gramps! It's me! Tohru!"

"Tohru? What do you want lassie?"

"I come with a friend." Tohru said.

"Really? Well let's see…" the voice said as the door creaked open and a short, old man came into view. Suddenly, another pop similar to the one before was heard and a cloud of smoke appeared, revealing a completely naked Haru. Tohru quickly shielded her eyes and Haru dove behind a bush. The old man chuckled and said, "Haru, my boy. What a…wonderful delight to see…all of you. Certainly not the birthday present I expected, but it's the thought that counts. Well, you best get clothed. Young Tohru's not even married yet."

After finally succeeding from several rather pathetic attempts to sneak the nude Haru into the house without being seen, the three happily chatted away about the night's upcoming festivities. "Damn, I'm getting too old for parties." The old man said.

"Speaking of that, how old are you exactly?" Tohru asked.

"You know better than to ask someone that Tohru Honda." said her grandpa.

"Let's just say his candles cost more than his cake." Haru grinned.

The old man rolled his eyes and stood up. "We best go down there before everyone throws a hissy. Oh, and Haru, don't you have some relatives that live here?"

"Ah, yes. Yuki and Kyo. I'm sure Yuki won't mind seeing me, but Kyo…"

Tohru suddenly interjected. "Kyo has become more kind since the last time you were here. I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing you at all."

"Probably because of you."

Tohru's face suddenly became so red, a tomato would have been paler. She turned away and muttered, "I d-don't know about that."

Tohru's grandpa chuckled to himself and motioned the other two to come out the door and go to the party waiting for them down the hill. When the three of them reached the party, Tohru's grandpa was bombarded by yammering guests and friends. As the small pack of people led the old man away, Tohru took Haru's hand and led him over to a table where two boys around Tohru's age stood glaring at each other. One boy had angelic features and long purple-gray hair. He was dressed in calf length gray pants and a button down white shirt. The other boy, equally handsome, had a slightly rougher look about him and bright orange hair. He also had a button down shirt and calf length pants but his shirt was black and the pants were a khaki color. The two appeared to be arguing about something. As Tohru and Haru approached, the orange haired boy leapt at the other. But instead of hitting his target, he hit the ground when the other boy sidestepped him. The orange haired boy growled and said, "Damn rat!"

As he prepared for yet another attack, Tohru jumped in between them. "Please, stop. We have a visitor." She said urgently gesturing towards Haru.

Haru grinned sheepishly and nodded toward the calmer boy, "Yuki, a pleasure to see you."

He then looked down at the orange haired boy being calmed by Tohru and nodded towards him, "Kyo. Not really a pleasure, but whatever."

"What the hell are you doing here, Haru?" Kyo growled as he stood back up. He then received a rather nasty thwhack on the head by the boy named Yuki.

"Don't be rude Kyo," Yuki said. "Haru was just saying hello."

"Honestly Kyo. Is that any way to greet your cousin?" Haru chided.

Kyo scoffed and sat down at a table as Yuki looked at him in disgust. Tohru, sensing that that things weren't going well, grabbed Yuki and Kyo's hands and led them out to a clearing set up for dancing. Music suddenly sounded through the area as other people ran to the floor to get their groove on. Tohru left the two boys baffled on the dance floor then proceeded to drag Haru out there as well. Tohru started dancing and began to urge the others to do the same. One by one, the three men slowly, and very awkwardly, started to dance. After they had been out there awhile, Kyo miraculously convinced Yuki to have a dance-off. "This should be good." Haru chuckled.

Everyone on the dance floor, having acknowledged the two teens' challenge, they cleared a 20 foot radius on the floor. And with that, the dance-off commenced.

Kyo broke out in a rather violent Running Man as Yuki went into a graceful Moonwalk. Kyo scowled and began to do the robot. Yuki, looking unfazed, began to do the Electric Slide as everyone watched in awe at his poise and beauty.

Determined to beat Yuki out, Kyo attempted a head spin but only succeeded in hurting himself when he lost his balanced and landed in a conveniently placed thorn bush. Yuki, on the other hand, began stepping to the dance from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video.

Applause from the crowd during Yuki's dance symbolized his victory and Kyo's defeat. Kyo let out a flurry of colorful language as he stomped back towards the table. Tohru followed him and called his name. Kyo stopped and turned around only to have a face full of Tohru as she slipped on a wet spot on the ground and fell into his arms. A pop resonated throughout the area and Tohru found herself staring into the eyes of a bright orange cat.

"Damnit! If you were gonna do that, you should have left me the hell alone!" the cat hissed at Tohru. Tohru's eyes welled with tears as she turned around and walked back up the hill.

"Idiot!" Yuki said to Kyo as he walked up the hill after Tohru.

"Miss Honda," Yuki called.

Tohru stopped and looked back, wiping tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't cry about such a foolish thing." Tohru said.

"That idiot cat shouldn't have said that," Yuki comforted. "Come on. Let's go back and dance."

Tohru smiled and nodded. "Okay."

Once they reached the dance floor again, they noticed that Kyo had turned back into his regular self and had begun to sulk as he watched everyone else enjoy the party. After a few fast paced songs, a slower, mellower song began to play. Tohru blushed and Yuki held out his hand to her and smiled. "Would you care to dance?"

Tohru blushed even deeper and nodded a yes. Carefully positioning themselves as to not be hugging, they danced to the slow playing music. Nearby, a rather annoyed cat watched as the couple happily danced away to the music. He couldn't figure out why he was so mad at the fact she was dancing with him. He sat there for a few more minutes until he was annoyed to the point of beginning to unconsciously claw away at the wooden table. After several more minutes of sulking, he stood up and walked up to the couple blushing furiously. "Um, can I, uh, cut in?"

Haru, having been dancing off on his own and just happening to be passing back by, answered with, "I wouldn't really think Yuki would want to dance with you Kyo."

"That's not what I meant damnit! Don't twist my words around Haru! I meant with…"

"With who then if not Yuki?" Haru asked, fighting the urge to burst out laughing.

"Shut up! I meant with T-t-toh…ru…" He muttered, turning away in embarrassment.

"Yuki! Let's go get punch!" Haru said, grabbing Yuki's shirt and dragging him off in the opposite direction, leaving the red faced cat and Tohru alone on the dance floor. Kyo suddenly grabbed Tohru's hand and dragged her deeper into the crowd of people.

"Kyo…?"

"Uh, just…come on." Kyo said putting one hand on her waist and the other in her hand. Tohru, not really sure what to think at this point, put her other hand on Kyo's shoulder. After several minutes of rigid dancing, the two finally loosened up enough to enjoy themselves. Tohru blushed and looked away every time Kyo looked her in the eye while Kyo, on the other hand, was grinning like a lovesick kitty. Literally. He was having the time of his life. That is, until the music ended.

"Uh, thank…you…?" Tohru laughed nervously.

"Um, you're welcome?" Kyo said blushing again.

Yuki suddenly burst in between both of them looking frantic, and to Kyo's disappointment, destroying the mood. "Yuki, what's wrong?" Tohru asked.

"Miss Honda! Thank God…" he breathed as he threw his arms around her. A loud pop echoed over the dance floor as a rat emerged from Yuki's clothes, which were now on the ground, and hastily scampered away. Haru suddenly appeared behind them yelling, "But Yuki! It would mean the world to Tohru's grandfather!"

"What would mean the world to him?"

"I simply asked him to dress up in a dress that a friend of your grandfather's used to wear to entertain him on his birthday. Tohru, would you mind convincing him for me? Kyo, you should go with her. You might need to hit…er…help if he throws a tantrum." Haru said.

"Let's go Kyo!" Tohru said, grabbing Yuki's clothes. Kyo looked a little disappointed that he wasn't going to get to dance with Tohru again, but he nodded and followed her after Yuki.

"Yuki! It won't be that bad, will it? I promise not to laugh!"

"I don't." Kyo smirked.

"Miss Honda, do you really want me to do it that badly?"

Tohru nodded. "If it will make my grandpa happy, then please. Would you?"

A cloud of smoke suddenly appeared, revealing Yuki in a nearby tree. Tohru yelped and tossed the clothes up to him then turned away. After he was fully clothed, he jumped down from the tree and looked at Tohru. His eyes suddenly became soft and he smiled. "If it would bring a smile to your face Miss Honda, then yes, I will do it."

"Ha! This is going to be rich. I wish I had a camera," Kyo grinned evilly. "Excellent…"

"On one condition," Yuki continued. "Kyo has to wear it also."

"Over my dead body." Kyo scoffed.

"That can be arranged."

"As if. Even if I did agree, there's only one dress, right? How would we both wear it?"

"Oh, I'm sure Haru can unearth another one." Yuki said.

"It doesn't matter. I'm not gonna wear some stupid dress for some stupid old man!" Kyo growled at Yuki. He then regretted his words when he looked back at a sad looking Tohru.

"I mean…of course I'll do it!" he corrected.

"Hypocrite." Yuki muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes.

"Really Kyo?" Tohru asked.

"Yeah, whatever." He said looking away.

"Thank you! My grandpa will never forget this birthday!"

Haru suddenly emerged from a nearby random bush and said, "And neither will I."

He then snapped his fingers as two dresses appeared on the two flabbergasted teenagers.

Surprisingly, the dresses were quite beautiful; they were long, flowing, and made of a porcelain-like silk. Yes, they were quite breathtaking…on anyone but Kyo. The white silk barely fit over his shoulders and the lace waistline was bursting at the seams from having a man in it.

Yuki looked pretty according to Hana and Uo, two friends of Tohru's. The dress accented his features and his slim figure fit well into the tight silk. Some guys even came up to him and asked him to dance. He kindly turned them down through gritted teeth.

"God Haru! Why the hell do we have to where these? Why couldn't Tohru wear it? She is a girl after all…" Kyo asked, wincing from the constricting garment.

"Actually, Tohru's grandfather requested that Tohru wear it originally, but I thought it would be cute if Yuki wore it and the fact that he somehow persuaded you to wear it too was an added bonus." Haru laughed to himself.

At hearing this, Kyo finally succeeded in tearing the dress apart and Yuki's lovely face became a portrait of pure hate. As the two proceeded to beat on Haru, Uo laughed and Hana did something that closely resembled laughing. After the smack down ceased, Yuki and Kyo looked a little happier and Haru looked like a pile of raw meat. Tohru, who had somehow found their clothes, handed them to Yuki and Kyo, apologizing for the event that had occurred. "It was not your fault Miss Honda. Our moronic cousin was the one who caused that to happen." Yuki said.

"Yeah. You shouldn't have to apologize for that psycho cow." Kyo said. After that, the two boys quickly ran to the woods to change their clothes. Tohru's grandfather, who had been watching this scene from afar, helped Haru back up.

"You brought that upon yourself, you know."

"Yeah, I know. But at least it was fun for me. Y'know, before the whole 'Let's kill Haru' thing." He said.

A few minutes later, Yuki and Kyo emerged from the woods in their own clothes. Yuki tossed the dress he was wearing at Haru's feet and Kyo did the same.

"What a shame," Haru frowned. "Well, might as well give the dress to the real person who was supposed to wear it."

He then snapped his fingers again and the dress appeared on Tohru. Tohru blushed as Kyo's mouth dropped a little and Yuki also turned a deep shade of crimson. The dress was perfect for her. The white silk made her eyes stand out and the hair that fell onto her now bare shoulders gave her an almost heavenly aura. "Look at how beautiful our little Tohru is!" Uo said out of nowhere.

"Yes, our little Tohru is growing up." Hana sighed.

"Well, time for my speech!" Tohru's grandpa interrupted.

He stood up on a sturdy picnic table and cleared his throat to gain the attention of the crowd. "Ladies, gentlemen…and Haru!" he said. This gained a laugh from the crowd and a look of disapproval from Haru.

"Today is my birthday! I trust my actual age is unnecessary information at this point, but nonetheless! I've been around many years and I've seen many things and I feel as if I needed a proper goodbye before I leave this world. You have all been very kind to me throughout my long life and I would just like to thank you."

He suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled something out but it went unseen, for he hid it behind his back as soon as he removed it from his pocket. Haru's eyes suddenly narrowed as he began to part his way through the crowd. "Well, goodbye." Tohru's grandpa said. Then, right before their eyes, he vanished into thin air.