Once upon a time in a land that should be far away from here, there was a shopkeeper named Bella who had been stolen from a month ago by the prisoner named Valjean (he is going to be called 24601 which is his jail number (Les Miserables)). Valjean's family was starving so he stole a loaf of bread so his family had food to eat.

Now 24601 has broken out of jail and stolen a police car and was now going to get revenge on Bella for not sparing him some food. As 24601 passed SPR Mart he noticed out in the street… and soon recognized it was Bella.

The only thing was that she couldn't walk in a straight line and was most likely drunk. As she crossed the intersection wobbling from side to side uncontrollably 24601 came in with the police car and tried to hit her. Right before he got to hit her he noticed the policeman-vampire-thing named Edward that brought him to jail had jumped in front of the police car. Because of his attempt to invincibility he just got his arm broken, but with vampire powers would soon heal in 1-3 days but was still able to protect Bella who was completely untouched. 24601 breaks for it during the time that Edward makes sure that his ego is still in tact and sprints down route 6 to find some where to stay. Meanwhile Bella and Edward were introducing themselves to each other.

"Hello," said Edward, "I am a cop/vampire and 'I Vant to Suck Your Blood' and your pretty.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Awkward Silence =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Well then," said Bella, "My name is Bella and I live and work in SPR Market, I sleep on the potatoes because I cant afford a home and the store so I think potatoes are comfy and they are my favorite plant. The only thing that I can't understand is that no one buys the potatoes and they all laugh at me. Thank you for saving me but HAHAHAHAHAHA you broke your arm."

"I will buy potatoes," said Edward with a very sketchy look on his face and something wrong with his eyebrows making them go up and down involuntarily in a very perverted way, probably a disease.

* * *

On the other side of town 24601 was walking down the suburbs knocking on every door asking for somewhere to stay and luckily came across a homeless shelter and walked in. The floors were all tiles of blue green in white the kind you get inside a school. The main desk was empty but covered with flowers and lamps and a couple pamphlets and the walls were sparse except for a large mural copy of Starry Night. Then came up to people to greet him who had nametags saying Narcissa and Suzay (Suzay is a boy). Throughout the next couple of weeks Narcissa, Suzay, and 24601 became good friends and they all despised Bella because she fired them because she couldn't afford to pay them because all she sold were potatoes and people never bought them. They soon were like a family to each other and they spent all their time with each other and they all decided to take revenge on Bella.

In the meantime Bella and Edward had been going out with each other. Then one day Bella and Edward had been out on a date when they heard a car pulled up and they looked over to see Suzay, Narcissa, and 24601 getting out of the car looking like there about to fight.

It took about ten punches till Edward and Bella notice3d that they were being fought against because they were to focused looking at each other and dream kissing. Then Edward pulls Bella behind him and starts fighting back against the three. It took an hour for Edward to get someone actually hurt because of his excellent bad aim. Then Bella, who hit him with a beer bottle she pulled out of her pocket, had taken down 24601 in the fight by hitting him across the head. At the sight of this Suzay and Narcissa took 24601 in their arms and ran back to the Honda Civic. Then once Bella and Edward knew that it was over they got back to do something I REALLY do not want to talk about.

The very next day Edward went to Bella and said, "I am going to become a vegetarian now so I am dumping you… YOU HAVE NOW BEEN DUMPED. Hey that's a pretty dandelion."

"Not another boy chose a plant over me… that's not fair… UGHHHH," said Bella, "All they do is just sit there and do nothing but make sugar out of sunlight… how does that even happen… Ugh

So now Edward is going out with a dandelion that has very sweet blood which he can not understand why it is yellow. And Bella is left alone without a protector; I wonder what would happen.

If you want me to write a next version for book two please leave a review for your ideas this was all my idea but I do not have another idea yet.