Authors Note
Hello! This is a new story I began about a week ago, I have chapter two already written so if you want me to post it sooner rather than later just let me know in a review. :) Slightly AU, as you will understand when you read, but this is my own twist on the story. This is strictly an ArMor story, but a few of the beginning chapters are the previous generation. (Vivienne, Gorlois, Uther, Ygraine, ect) This story will include lots of ArMor growing up together right until they are adults and there will be plenty of twists and turns along the way! Enjoy! And please R&R! :D
Chapter 1
Painful Realities and Lustrous Fantasies
"Is something the matter Vivienne?" Ygraine asked her dear sister and she pecked over the chicken on her golden plate. It did smell delicious, but she had lost her appetite, and had lost it for verging on two weeks now.
"Come sister." Ygraine began again, grabbing her sister's hand from across the table, but Vivienne's eyes looking down upon her lap. "You must eat something."
Vivienne slowly raised her gaze to meet her sister's icy blue stare, a vast change from her daunting emerald glare.
"How can I eat at a time like this?" Vivienne shot her sister a look of disgust, as though she should know better, that the statement she had just came out with seemed extremely idiotic and foolish.
"Gorlois would not see his wife waste away over him; he was never that selfish." Ygraine soothed, but feeling that her words had come out differently that she had meant them to seem.
Vivienne pulled wickedly away from her sister's stronghold and glared at her, how dare she! "No. You are right." Vivienne went on, her eyes stretched into evil slits, and Ygraine braced herself for the painful words of abuse her sister would throw upon her now, she always knew when Vivienne was angry, she had a fiery temper that no man could ever tame, whereas Ygraine believed herself to be more kind and forgiving than her sister would ever know.
"This is the selfish work of your husband, not mine." Vivienne spat at her sister, her lips snarled up over her white gritted teeth. Ygraine watched as she stood up and kicked her chair away viciously, although her gaze never freeing from her own- Vivienne had always frightened her when she had got like this.
"Please Vivienne." Ygraine begged, looking up to her with eyes of longing and hardship. She didn't wish to feud with her sister, not tonight. "Sit and eat and we'll say no more on the matter." Ygraine told her, staring down at her own plate, but feeling selfish that she could happily chew at her food whilst Vivienne could barely keep down water.
"I do not wish to dine with you tonight, sister." Vivienne informed her sister, turning her head, making her gracious hazel hair flourish and sail in ripples down her back, as the Lady stormed from the hall.
Ygraine sighed heavily to herself. Uther excused himself from dinner this evening like he seemed to do every evening; claiming her had many important council matters to address, that left her alone with Vivienne.
Vivienne became more irritable every day, the days dragged and as they did she preferred to lock herself away in the room Uther had provided for her, when she had come to stay in Camelot at least two months ago.
Gorlois had an important matter to address for Uther, the King had sent his most favourable Knight to the western cities to guard the high walls of bandits and capture all of the magical folk that divulged and crept through the forests like smoke through a dark night.
In the forests Uther believed them to breed, make a life for themselves in small tents and raging fires, and when their kin were old enough they would be pushed further and further until they reached Camelot, and then they would destroy it.
Gorlois's job was to construct Camelot's best army, to rapture, murder and destroy any sign of these magical folk. But 4 moons had come and gone and there hadn't been a word from Gorlois, or any of the other Knights, as each day withered past, Vivienne's hope of ever seeing her husband again grew smaller and smaller, and soon she would be on the brink of madness. Ygraine only hoped that they would all return safely; for her sister's sake if anything, but both she and Uther realised some time ago that the chances were dim, so they had braced themselves for the worst.
Weeks past, lingering on for months upon months, summer was at its end, having Gorlois leave at early spring. The hallow halls of Camelot Castle haunted Vivienne, how she hated this place now.
The castle was large and cold, were things of battle and hardship were constant, never a trace of love. She just wanted to go home, but she would leave here without her husband and she would wait for him, however long it took; because he would come back, despite the many talks with Ygraine that she had stormed angrily away from, talks where her beloved sister would try and explain that Gorlois might never return, and that it would be wise for her to understand that too. Ygraine had always been more loving that she, with her constant kind words and her sweet way of making everything better, but not now.
Her sister radiated loveliness, loveliness she had envied a young girl, but she was as close to her as a petal to a flower stem. Hating her was something she could never do. Vivienne's raging words had reduced Ygraine to tears as child, when she had aggressively shouted at her little sister for going into her room and messing up her things, and over the past few weeks they had fell into that place again where Vivienne would never talk to her sister like she once would, she would rather snap and snarl at Ygraine, and the realisation of pushing her sister away burdened her heart like the waiting of her husband had.
Vivienne lay nestled up in her bed, her maid left over an hour ago, but she had not slept. Like every night she lay awake, tossing and turning and often watched the sun break through the window, as daylight crept upon her like a raging wind.
But tonight was different, tonight she wanted to sleep, even if the adrenaline of worry alone was keeping her going, her sister was right; like she always was. She needed to start eating proper meals and sleeping full nights; otherwise she'd drive herself into an early grave.
But tonight, the loud shouts and curses of Uther and Ygraine were keeping her awake; they were arguing; again. It had been no different than any other night in the past week and it was starting to grow on Vivienne's nerves.
Ygraine had insisted that Vivienne sleep in a room close to her own, in case she needed anything. Her sister had always fussed over Vivienne terribly, taking the mothering role when their own had died of the sleeping sickness over five years ago now, she had just died shortly after Morgause's birth, the child Vivienne would never speak of.
Although the shouts from the other room where muffled, the raised voices could still be heard, with the often distinctive 'I will not shut up!' Coming from Ygraine, a fragile woman with a kind heart, Vivienne could not help but chuckle at her sister's lame attempt at argument, whereas Vivienne would have snapped right back at Uther and made sure he knew who was boss, like she had often done with Gorlois when they argued; she had always won.
Vivienne had refused to believe that a man had any higher right than a man, she could do as well as any and would not be pinned down to bore children and cook meals as well as greeting her husband when he came home from battle. It had always annoyed her that Ygraine was so welcoming to the fact that she could serve her husband, she had never missed at sewing class as a girl, Vivienne had often cut the hair off her many dolls as a child, she was so spiteful. But most of all Ygraine cherished the thought of mothering a child one day and the etched smile on her lips vanished when she realised that her sister might never bear a child, she had been married longer than Vivienne and Vivienne had already bore one child which was five years ago, not even to the man she was married to.
But soon the sound of her bedroom door opening shook her from her thoughts, it was probably Ygraine, coming in to cry to her about how unfair Uther had been and Vivienne would have to nurse her and then threaten to slap Uther, things which had often made Ygraine laugh and smile, before she realised the cruel things she was saying and made her stop. Of course, Vivienne rolled her eyes, as she pulled herself up from her bed, Ygraine was so very sensitive, whereas if she were her she wouldn't think twice about really slapping Uther.
"Uther!" Vivienne gasped, grabbing her blankets and pulling them around her to keep her dignity, even though she was wearing an ivory nightgown. The shock of the tall bold man entering her room made her eyes bulge- he hadn't even knocked!
"Forgive me…" Uther sighed, as he raised his arm and placed it on the wall beside the door, leaning on it. "But I need someone to talk to." He claimed, as he finally met her gaze.
Vivienne's grasp on her bed sheets eased as her brows furrowed. Was he serious? She rose from her bed, holding her head up arrogantly as she walked to the door. "I'm sorry Uther." She began as she made her way across the room, his eyes followed her, looking in disbelief at how patronizing and angry she had suddenly become.
"But I will not sit here and listen while you badmouth my sister." Vivienne snapped calmly as she opened the door for him to kindly get out. They had just had an argument, it only seemed right that Uther would come and claim how unfair and hard Ygraine had been, Vivienne would listen to her sister snap and snarl about her husband, but she would never sit and do the same with Uther about her beloved sister.
"Please." Uther begged as he gazed at her, his eyes were weak, and he was saddened of something of a different nature, no- these weren't the eyes of an angry man, but a frustrated one.
Vivienne eyed him up suspiciously before she threw the door closed again, folding her arms with a calm aggression. "Let's hear it then." She commanded, readying herself for the sure rubbish he would come out with.
"I will not speak with you if you do not wish to listen." Uther informed her, but not spitefully- sorrowfully. "Well, please shut the door on your way out." Vivienne smiled sarcastically, knowing no matter what she said, he would never leave.
"Please." He begged again, gripping her forearm as she went to make her way past him.
Vivienne turned to look at him, her expressions turning serious; she stood emotionless for no less than second before her brows furrowed. "What is it?" She asked, or more so demanded, snagging away from his grip.
She approached the table in front of the dying fire and sat herself down on the wooden seat, pouring both herself and Uther water from the brass jug on the table.
"Over the past few months… Or years even." Uther began, it was obvious that whatever it was, he took no pleasure in speaking about it, but now he was forced to. His eyes looked to the floor as he slowly made his way towards Vivienne.
"…I have realised, that your dear sister, my loving wife… is unable to bore a son." Uther told her, speaking the words with deep regret, almost wishing he hadn't spoken them. His blue eyes met with Vivienne's who was now holding a full water goblet in her hand.
Vivienne sat emotionless, knowing that what he had said was possibly true. It was a horrible fact of life that some women could not have their own children. Such women craved children only because they couldn't have them, her sister was one of them.
"Come now Uther…" She smiled, as she snagged away from his gaze, standing up and walking past him, her water goblet still in hand.
"I'm sure she will have a child, in her own time." Vivienne told him, though the wavering sense of lies in her tone was beckoning. She knew how much her sister craved a child, how she fussed over every child she came across, she would be the most magnificent mother, it was cruel how nature worked.
"Oh come now!" Uther snapped, annoyed that she was lying to him, he sensed it. He had gone through many physicians, had his wife checked over numerous times. Each told him the same thing; she will have a child when she's ready.
"We have been married eight long years and nothing, nothing." Uther emphasized, the rage creeping to his eyes as he swung his hands in anger, turning to look at Vivienne, who had her back to him, though she gazed at him over her shoulder, seeping in his words like a sponge.
"The year of your marriage is nothing Uther. You could be married another eight and she still might not have borne an heir." Vivienne tried to keep calm, trying to ease his sorrowed mind, even if it was all a lie; surely it was better than expose him to the horrible truth.
"What are you saying? Are you saying it is true, that she is in fact… infertile?" Uther asked rage dropping from his tone as his eyes widened in fear- that she was confirming his worries.
"I'm not saying anything." Vivienne soothed, but in truth what did she know? She was no physician; she would never know if her sister was truly infertile, she doubted anyone would.
"These things take time." She said turning to face Uther, with a smile plastered on her lips.
"Ha!" Uther cackled in rage, his anger returning, making his face hard and stern, all vulnerability lost. "But yet for you it took no time at all!" Uther laughed viciously, angered. Merely taking out his sorrow and anger on the woman he had come to for help, but she had not helped him at all.
Vivienne's brows furrowed as her grip tightened around her goblet. "I would urge you to shut up!" She spat, trying to keep her calmness, but it was stole away by his patronizing glare.
"Why is it that my wife wants a child, craves it- whilst you- you sleep with a blacksmiths son and get your bastard child- never wanting it!" He snapped cruelly, his words cutting through her like a silver blade, now she was exposed.
"It wasn't like that!" She snarled, but feeling that she could do much better, she could hurt him if she truly wanted to, but she feared that she was weakening at the horrible memories he was bringing back, horrible memories that she had tucked away for many years.
His name was Edward, and he was the son of a blacksmith and he was learning to take the trade. He was tall, with a light tanned skin and hair as golden as the morning sun with bulging deep brown eyes. But he was a peasant. Whilst Vivienne was a Lady of high standard, she could never divulge in any sort of romantic activity with his sorts, but she had. And her foolish decisions had cost her everything.
She was betrothed to a Duke, and his name was William. She had never met him, but she had heard rumours of his selfish ways and squirmed at the thought of becoming his wife, it possibly fuelling her affair with a blacksmiths son.
On the night before her departure to meet her betrothed however, she had confessed to her father that she carrying a bastard child. Her father beat the blacksmith boy until he was bloody and sore, before he sent him away from the land. William had heard of the great disgrace and refused to marry a 'common whore' as he had put it, and her father was greatly disappointed in his daughter's foolish ways, and things had never quite been the same between them since.
Now the young girl was losing the chance of marriage, her dignity however was already stolen. That was when Gorlois came on the scene, a tall, gruff man, bold with a muscular figure. He was a typical example of a warrior, and his thrill for battle had often scared her.
Gorlois was foolishly in love with Vivienne, and she often regretfully realised that he had loved her more than she had him, she didn't deserve him. He was forgiving and kind, and gave her everything she wanted, of course her father's first choice of husband was lost, Gorlois made a good second.
To Gorlois the truth that his wife was carrying a child that was not his own, never bothered him. He had rather believe that the little babe growing in her stomach was his own, and Vivienne knew he would have loved Morgause like his own if given the chance, but life was cruel, and though she was given a child and her sister was not, her child was still taken from her, snatched away viciously from her breast and it was something that she could never forgive.
"I loved my daughter." Vivienne spoke aloud, losing her long train of thought as her eyes glared in a daze-like manner out of the window. "I loved her more than you will ever know." She said coldly, turning to look at Uther through wide eyes of sorrow.
"So don't you dare stand there and tell me I never wanted her!" Vivienne snarled viciously at the cruel man before her, her teeth gritted as she tried her hardest to lock back the tears that were threatening to spill.
Uther stood back, frozen, his anger fading. He had never seen the wife of his sister in such a vulnerable state, apart from the time when her daughter had died all those years ago, in his own castle; perhaps that was why she hated it here so much.
"Forgive me…" Uther told her, bowing his head, annoyed that his temper had changed him in such a way.
"How many infants you killed then, because they were magic…" Vivienne snapped back, making him look back up and meet her gaze.
"Vivienne… Morgause's death was not my doing…" Uther tried to soothe her now, how the tables had turned, he knew now he was wrong to come to her on the matter of children, he was only opening up old wounds.
Vivienne turned her gaze out to the window, she stared out. She had forgotten herself for all of a moment, Uther did not know of her baby's magic, but she had. She caught her eyes glow orange and then she knew. During such times Uther was condemning all magical folk- including children, to be killed. Being a mother she did what she thought right, and gave her young daughter to the Court Physician, and he had sworn an oath that he would give her to the High Priestesses.
The following morning Gaius informed the King that Morgause had died in her crib within the night, nothing more was said on the matter.
"I will leave you." Uther nodded when she didn't reply, and now he was making his way to the door when she raised her head and finally spoke.
"And tell me." Vivienne finally spoke. "These arguments you have with my sister- do you dare take things she cannot help, out on her?" Vivienne asked her brows furrowing as she gazed out of the window.
Uther had come because he had been arguing with his wife, over her not being able to bore children. Was he cruelly taking this out on her sweet sister, when she could hardly help the matter?
"The arguments I have with my wife are none of your concern!" Uther snapped angrily, his rage returning to his formidable gaze.
"But tell me, do you dare belittle my sister?" Vivienne questioned as she turned to him, her sorrow disappearing and her bitterness taking its place.
"They are private matters." He snarled.
"Hardly private when I hear your muffled shouts through the wall." Vivienne shrugged her shoulders at his idiocy.
"You dare listen to the arguments I have with my wife?" Uther's eyes bulged as he glared at her aggressively.
"Oh not just me…" Vivienne began, wearing a patronizing smirk. "The Knights, the Guards, The maids, the cooks and even the hound dogs raise an ear." She told him, counting on her hand, raging him; she was enjoying every moment.
Uther darted across the room to her, raising a hand to slap her across the cheek, but she stole the moment by speaking up into his face like the fearless woman she was.
"And are you so keen to slap my sister too?" She asked him, her voice low as she whispered her sweet breath onto his face.
Uther was enraged, unforgivably. Vivienne had no right to speak to a King like that, to admit that she heard his many conversations with his wife, to taunt him and then to go as far and accuse him of hitting his own wife. These were all reasons to throw the young woman to the cells below the castle, chain her away without a meal for days upon days, which was why he couldn't- for the life of him- understand why his lips where crashing against hers.
Vivienne couldn't deny that it wasn't what she wanted, but she didn't understand why she wanted it. Why was she now heatedly kissing a man who was moments ago so cruel and hard, spitting words of pain and sorrow in her face, cutting open her wounds like a sadistic murderer? He was the reason her dear Morgause was gone, the reason so many children had died, she hated the man.
But now, here she was lying next to him in the fumbled covers of her bed sheets, muttering words she didn't mean whilst he repeated them. It was an act of passion, lust, seduction, but it wasn't an act of love and they both knew that.
Ygraine lay in the next room, sorrowful and full of pain as she nursed herself to sleep without her husband, whilst her sister was lying next to her sweetheart, making unforgivable love to him.
Vivienne would possibly never forgive herself, but now her mind was enraged with lustrous thoughts as she whispered passionate words. She would hate herself come morning, but now- nothing else mattered, not the fact that her own husband was off fighting a battle, possibly dead in a forest somewhere, or the fact that her sister was sleeping in the room next to her whilst she waited on her husband's return- all that mattered was Uther.
Vivienne couldn't help but realise that she was living up to being a common whore, but now she merely chuckled at the thought, finding it exuberating and libidinous. It would be a night of passion and nothing more, after this they would walk away and never speak of it, she hated him after all.
"Is everything alright?" chirped Ygraine who sipped at her soup, eying her husband and Vivienne suspiciously.
"Fine…" Vivienne muttered, as she gazed up from her bowl and threw her sister a kind smile, before she stole a glance at the King who was looking at her at the same moment, the glanced down awkwardly.
"You're very quiet Uther, have you nothing to say? You normally do." Ygraine shot her husband a humorous smile, her husband. Uther shot Ygraine back an entertained smile, though the smile was guilty and full of regret, but god love his sweet wife, she was too infatuated to pick up on anything.
"I do not feel hungry, my sweet." He told her with the same smile still painted on his cold face.
"Perhaps there is an illness floating around?" Ygraine piped up, and Vivienne jumped in.
"For that I fear, yes, sweet sister." Vivienne told her sister as she wiped her mouth with her cloth and stood up. "I will retire if that is alright." She smiled, before Ygraine nodded and she began walking down the hall, glad she could get away from them both.
Vivienne could not look at her sister, burdening this great guilt, and Uther- now she could barely look at him without feeling a deep sense of regret and awkward tensions.
But then, the large wooden doors where threw open, and a tall, bold man stood at the other end. He was covered in dirt, and his beard was thick with dried mud. But his bold stature remained his gleaming grey eyes full of happiness and love. Gorlois.
Vivienne froze, fearing that she might never see her dear husband again, didn't waste a second in running to his arms and letting him captivate her. "Gorlois!" She beamed in glee as he spun her around harmoniously.
Uther stood up and grinned, but feeling the guilt wash over him again; there was no denying that Gorlois would kill him if he ever found out what he had done with his wife. Although Uther would put up a good fight, Gorlois would surely finish him with his muscular stature.
Gorlois smothered his wife in warm kisses, as Ygraine gasped and stood up beside her husband in great relief that her sister would no longer be in mourning for a man that was not dead. Uther clapped his hands melodically; all in all happy that things could return to how they once were, but little did he know that things would never be the same.
Vivienne shot Uther a look of wary, that told him that their night of lust was nothing more but foolishness, that he dare never speak of it. The look said everything yet nothing at the same time, yet he knew that he could be nothing more with her, and he wouldn't want to be, but she was just warning him. Ygraine was his love and it would stay that way.