Coasting Through
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis. L1701E owns Kid Razor and Sonic Blue.
One Shot
Simon Williams, the Avenger known as Wonder Man, was sitting at the breakfast table, talking with the teen West Coast Avengers. He asked,
"So, how did it go on the East Coast?"
Natasha Romanoff, the red-head teen heroine Black Widow, sighed happily,
"I've met the man of my dreams."
Little red hearts started floating around her.
Carol Danvers, the blonde powerhouse Avenger Miss Marvel, shook her head,
"Nat, you're almost as bad as Farrah."
Farrah Willows, the feline Avenger Persiana, hissed,
"Screw you, Barbie. Nat's found a guy she likes. I mean, her taste in men isn't the greatest…"
Nat shot her teammate a scowl, of which the lioness shrugged it off,
"Let's face it. Between you and Crystal, you just don't have the good eye for men. I mean, Hawkeye is a flirt and a show-off, and Quicksilver is a prissy prima donna."
Crystal, the Inhuman Elementalle, folded her arms,
"You're just jealous you don't have a man like Quicksilver. He's SO sexy!"
Farrah laughed,
"Jealuos? I'm grateful I have one man in my life."
Leon Maxwell, the red-eyed powerhouse Avenger called Crisis, walked in,
"Hey, gang."
He was promptly tackled by Persiana. The swordsman groaned,
"Farrah!"
Carol rolled her eyes,
"Completely shameless. I suppose she's not the only one. Natasha did trap Hawkeye in a closet for an hour."
T'challa, the feline hero Black Panther smirked,
"Did I not recall you tried to do something like that with Leon?"
Farrah snarled,
"Hands off my man, Barbie. He's mine."
Leon got up, but found Farrah had curled herself on to him, not letting go. He sighed and sat down,
"Sonic Blue's cool. Him and Thor are fun to hang around, I guess."
Hercules, the teen god of Strength, scoffed,
"He thinks he can beat me! Hah! I am Hercules, god of strength and courage!"
Sam Wilson, the avian hero Falcon, laughed,
"Yeah, it was fun when you and Thor went at it."
Leon shuddered,
"Jen wasn't too happy with the both of you. Something about her SUV not being used as a shield."
Simon groaned,
"Again? Herc, you can't just brawl with Thor without a reason."
Black Panther said,
"This is Hercules we are talking about, right? He lives for the brawl."
Herc looked confused,
"But, how will I know if someone is worthy to receive my gift?"
Crisis said,
"By that, do you mean you fight with everyone that you meet?"
The mace-wielder smiled,
"Of course."
Carol shook her head,
"Well, it wasn't as bad as Kid Razor. That pervert would not stop staring at my backside!"
Farrah shrugged,
"Oh, please. Razor knows he can never have me."
She purred and leaned her head on Leon's shoulder,
"I got a mate, and a good looking one at that. Tigra and I both agree; Leon's cute."
Nat added,
"Besides, I don't think Jubilee would appreciate it if her man was moved in on."
Farrah laughed,
"Good thing Tigra and I printed all those posters of Barbie being a man stealing bitch. We have to warn the public about this."
Miss Marvel growled,
"You fur-covered tramp! I'm gonna skin you for that!"
She reached across the table, but Simon ordered,
"Ladies, not this again."
Sam nodded,
"Yeah. Remember when you two had that cat-fight. Kid Razor couldn't stop drooling."
Leon added,
"Neither could Thor."
Crystal shook her head, sighing,
"I just wish Quicksilver was on the Avengers. That way, I could see him more often."
Leon looked at the blonde Inhuman,
"You saw him every other day last week. Monica's still ticked off at me for letting you steal and damage the Quinjet."
Crystal's lips trembled,
"But…I love him!"
Farrah rolled her eyes,
"Don't bother, Leon. Everyone knows blonde women never take a hint. Just look at Carol; she still hasn't gotten it through her thick skull that you and I are mates. She's constantly trying to steal you from me so she can impregnate herself with your children."
Carol slammed her fists on the table, causing it to break,
"Oh, you are so dead! I don't know why Leon hasn't left you yet! You are a clingy, obnoxious, slutty tramp that throws herself at everyone she meets! It's undignified!"
Farrah shot back,
"Kiss my ass, Barbie! He's my man, and I'm not losing him to a blonde witch like you!"
The blonde powerhouse picked up her plate and threw it at Farrah, hitting the were-cat in the face. Persiana fell out of Leon's lap and looked up, roaring,
"DIE!"
She tackled Carol and a fight broke out. Leon rubbed his head,
"This isn't my precognition talking. This is me just getting another headache. Although, I shouldn't be surprised, that this would happen."
He wiped the bits of food off and shook his head,
"How does Cap and the other adults put up with these antics?"
A voice in the other room, sounding like a drunken Pulsar, sang out loud,
"VIVA LAS VEGAS!"
She then hit her head into a wall and passed out. Leon sighed,
"I knew I shouldn't have asked that."
He then went to break up the cat-fight that had broken out. T'challa said,
"So, how long do you think it would be before Leon gets knocked out again?"
Natasha said,
"Five minutes."
Indeed, five minutes later, Farrah screamed,
"Look at what you did to my man, Barbie!"
Miss Marvel shot back,
"My fault? You came at me!"
Thus, the brawl resumed.
End of One Shot.