Buffy, Willow, and Xander walked onto the stage and stopped. Spike was
already standing there, muttering something about needing a cigarette. He
looked up at the Scoobies that had just entered the room. They walked over
next to him, all looking at each other nervously.
"Why are we here again?" Spike asked.
"Giles called," Buffy said. "Said he found something important in one of his dusty old books."
"But why here?" Willow whined. She looked around. "We're on a stage and there are people sitting in the audience. Oh goddess. It's another nightmare!"
Xander chuckled. "Wills, calm down. We're all awake and this isn't really a nightmare."
"Quiet on the set!" a voice boomed.
All four figures on the stage looked around, trying to figure out where the voice came from.
"Bloody hell. That's the same pillock who told me that smoking is prohibited and then proceeded to show me the nearest fire exits."
Angel and Cordelia suddenly rushed to the stage.
"Did we make it on time?" Cordelia asked breathlessly.
"I think so," Angel replied.
"What's going on?" Xander wondered.
"Cordy had a.vision," Angel commented dramatically.
Buffy raised an eyebrow. "About what?"
"A vision," Angel replied matter-of-factly.
"Huh?" Willow wrinkled her forehead in confusion.
"I had a vision about a vision and it's supposed to be here," Cordelia stated, annoyed.
"This is only making less sense the more you talk, mate," Spike quipped.
"Dammit, Spike!" Angel growled. "That's not part of the script." He pulled out his script. "Your line is 'What could that be about?'"
Spike snorted. "What a poofy line!" He paused. "Wait." He furrowed his brow. "We have scripts? What the hell is going on?"
Giles finally runs to the stage. He stopped to catch his breath. Everyone turned to look at him. "My word. I thought I wasn't going to make it on time!"
"On - on time for what, Giles?" Willow asked.
"The prophecy! The prophecy! The prophecy!" Giles screamed.
"Calm down, Ripper. What bleedin' prophecy are you referring to there?" Spike tapped his foot.
Giles was shocked. "Uh - uh, you KNOW. The prophecy! The." he sighed, "Did you not read the script?"
"Did everyone get a bloody script except for me?" Spike yelled.
Buffy, Willow, and Xander all shook their heads. "I didn't get one. Neither did Willow and Xander."
"Ok, this is getting really weird. Hopefully, it won't get any weirder."
Willow and Buffy glared at Xander, knowing they were just jinxed. Suddenly, the theme from "Scooby Doo" began to play. Xander smacked his forehead. "Dammit! Spoke too soon!"
"CUT!" The person behind the voice ran onstage. "Ok people! Focus!" He turned to the scriptless wonders. "What is wrong with you?" He pointed at Spike. "NO SMOKING! Get over your attitude."
Buffy gasped. Xander flinched. Willow fainted. Spike growled and grabbed the man by the neck. "Just who do you think you are?"
"Spike, put him down!" Giles screamed. "Put him down right now! That's not in the script! Plus, he'll fire you!"
Spike mumbled in frustration and set the man down. "Fire me from what? What is going on here? Is this a sick joke? Why are we here?"
"Because of the prophecy," the man replied.
"What of it?" Spike asked annoyed.
"If you don't do what you are supposed to do, you will all surely perish!" the man stammered.
"Another apocalypse?" Xander asked.
"N - not quite," Giles responded.
"Will someone tell me what the hell is going on here? I'm getting really pissy," Buffy muttered loudly.
Cordelia dramatically screamed. "Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" She fell to the floor.
Angel gasped. "Cordy!" He looks up at everyone. "We must do something! Time is of the - the.essence." He frowned. "Line! No.wait! Never mind." He suddenly becomes angsty Angel. "Buffy! We must begin the prophecy now! Cordy is suffering! These visions are a real bother! Oh spite!"
Buffy looked at Willow, confused, and mouthed "Oh spite?" She looked back at Angel, who had begun brooding. "Uh - uh, Giles!" She searched for the words that might be on the "script" she had yet to see. "Quick! Um, bring the book.over now! We need to.fix.this.problem.now? Yeah, now!"
"Yeah! Yeah! That sounds like a good plan, luv!"
Giles opened the book. "Buffy, everyone must recite these words at the same time."
Buffy looked at the book. After reading the words, she looked at Giles incredulously. "That's it?"
"Wh - why yes. But everyone must say them. It is the only way."
"Well, ok. Guys, come look at this!" She waved Willow and Xander over.
Xander and Willow looked over the page, then looked again. Xander snickered. "You have got to be kidding!"
Angel dramatically interrupted. "Xander! You must! It's just the way things are!"
"Ok, find. Whatever. I'll do it. You in, Willow?" Willow nodded.
Giles looked over at Spike. "Spike?"
Spike went over to look at the book. He snorted. "Hell no! No one is staking claim on me!"
Buffy elbowed Spike. "It's the only way, Spike!"
"But, but." He received a threatening glance from Buffy. "Oh fine. I'm turning into such a Poofter. Do Peaches and the May Queen have to recite this as well?"
Giles nodded. "We all do. Some of us actually took the time to memorize our scripts though. You'll just have to look at the book."
The four unprepared Scoobies rolled their eyes.
The man clapped his hands once. "Ok, is everyone ready?"
They all nod and look at each other. On the count of three, they began to recite.
We, the inhabitants of Sunnydale and L.A. / Have all met onstage today;
We all agree as the cast of "Angel" and "Buffy" / That we as characters belong to Joss Wheedon and Mutant Enemy;
The authors of this story beg of you / Please do not sue;
For they are poor college students with a vision / And writing a neat Buffy story is their mission;
They want to give credit where credit is due/ and their idea from their brains is new.
After all was said and done, the man applauded. "Great job, guys!"
"And they think I'm a bloody awful poet?!?!" Spike cried.
Angel smiled. "Thanks, Joss! Can we go now?"
Joss nodded. "Yes. That's all I needed."
Spike mumbled. "I can't believe I'm property!"
Xander, Willow, and Buffy leave, followed by Spike.
"Is that good enough Joss?" We, the authors, ask hopefully.
"Yes, just as long as everyone knows these characters don't belong to you," Joss replied.
We bowed to the Almighty Joss. "Yes, yes Almighty Joss! Thank you!"
Everyone left. Now the story can finally begin.
"Why are we here again?" Spike asked.
"Giles called," Buffy said. "Said he found something important in one of his dusty old books."
"But why here?" Willow whined. She looked around. "We're on a stage and there are people sitting in the audience. Oh goddess. It's another nightmare!"
Xander chuckled. "Wills, calm down. We're all awake and this isn't really a nightmare."
"Quiet on the set!" a voice boomed.
All four figures on the stage looked around, trying to figure out where the voice came from.
"Bloody hell. That's the same pillock who told me that smoking is prohibited and then proceeded to show me the nearest fire exits."
Angel and Cordelia suddenly rushed to the stage.
"Did we make it on time?" Cordelia asked breathlessly.
"I think so," Angel replied.
"What's going on?" Xander wondered.
"Cordy had a.vision," Angel commented dramatically.
Buffy raised an eyebrow. "About what?"
"A vision," Angel replied matter-of-factly.
"Huh?" Willow wrinkled her forehead in confusion.
"I had a vision about a vision and it's supposed to be here," Cordelia stated, annoyed.
"This is only making less sense the more you talk, mate," Spike quipped.
"Dammit, Spike!" Angel growled. "That's not part of the script." He pulled out his script. "Your line is 'What could that be about?'"
Spike snorted. "What a poofy line!" He paused. "Wait." He furrowed his brow. "We have scripts? What the hell is going on?"
Giles finally runs to the stage. He stopped to catch his breath. Everyone turned to look at him. "My word. I thought I wasn't going to make it on time!"
"On - on time for what, Giles?" Willow asked.
"The prophecy! The prophecy! The prophecy!" Giles screamed.
"Calm down, Ripper. What bleedin' prophecy are you referring to there?" Spike tapped his foot.
Giles was shocked. "Uh - uh, you KNOW. The prophecy! The." he sighed, "Did you not read the script?"
"Did everyone get a bloody script except for me?" Spike yelled.
Buffy, Willow, and Xander all shook their heads. "I didn't get one. Neither did Willow and Xander."
"Ok, this is getting really weird. Hopefully, it won't get any weirder."
Willow and Buffy glared at Xander, knowing they were just jinxed. Suddenly, the theme from "Scooby Doo" began to play. Xander smacked his forehead. "Dammit! Spoke too soon!"
"CUT!" The person behind the voice ran onstage. "Ok people! Focus!" He turned to the scriptless wonders. "What is wrong with you?" He pointed at Spike. "NO SMOKING! Get over your attitude."
Buffy gasped. Xander flinched. Willow fainted. Spike growled and grabbed the man by the neck. "Just who do you think you are?"
"Spike, put him down!" Giles screamed. "Put him down right now! That's not in the script! Plus, he'll fire you!"
Spike mumbled in frustration and set the man down. "Fire me from what? What is going on here? Is this a sick joke? Why are we here?"
"Because of the prophecy," the man replied.
"What of it?" Spike asked annoyed.
"If you don't do what you are supposed to do, you will all surely perish!" the man stammered.
"Another apocalypse?" Xander asked.
"N - not quite," Giles responded.
"Will someone tell me what the hell is going on here? I'm getting really pissy," Buffy muttered loudly.
Cordelia dramatically screamed. "Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" She fell to the floor.
Angel gasped. "Cordy!" He looks up at everyone. "We must do something! Time is of the - the.essence." He frowned. "Line! No.wait! Never mind." He suddenly becomes angsty Angel. "Buffy! We must begin the prophecy now! Cordy is suffering! These visions are a real bother! Oh spite!"
Buffy looked at Willow, confused, and mouthed "Oh spite?" She looked back at Angel, who had begun brooding. "Uh - uh, Giles!" She searched for the words that might be on the "script" she had yet to see. "Quick! Um, bring the book.over now! We need to.fix.this.problem.now? Yeah, now!"
"Yeah! Yeah! That sounds like a good plan, luv!"
Giles opened the book. "Buffy, everyone must recite these words at the same time."
Buffy looked at the book. After reading the words, she looked at Giles incredulously. "That's it?"
"Wh - why yes. But everyone must say them. It is the only way."
"Well, ok. Guys, come look at this!" She waved Willow and Xander over.
Xander and Willow looked over the page, then looked again. Xander snickered. "You have got to be kidding!"
Angel dramatically interrupted. "Xander! You must! It's just the way things are!"
"Ok, find. Whatever. I'll do it. You in, Willow?" Willow nodded.
Giles looked over at Spike. "Spike?"
Spike went over to look at the book. He snorted. "Hell no! No one is staking claim on me!"
Buffy elbowed Spike. "It's the only way, Spike!"
"But, but." He received a threatening glance from Buffy. "Oh fine. I'm turning into such a Poofter. Do Peaches and the May Queen have to recite this as well?"
Giles nodded. "We all do. Some of us actually took the time to memorize our scripts though. You'll just have to look at the book."
The four unprepared Scoobies rolled their eyes.
The man clapped his hands once. "Ok, is everyone ready?"
They all nod and look at each other. On the count of three, they began to recite.
We, the inhabitants of Sunnydale and L.A. / Have all met onstage today;
We all agree as the cast of "Angel" and "Buffy" / That we as characters belong to Joss Wheedon and Mutant Enemy;
The authors of this story beg of you / Please do not sue;
For they are poor college students with a vision / And writing a neat Buffy story is their mission;
They want to give credit where credit is due/ and their idea from their brains is new.
After all was said and done, the man applauded. "Great job, guys!"
"And they think I'm a bloody awful poet?!?!" Spike cried.
Angel smiled. "Thanks, Joss! Can we go now?"
Joss nodded. "Yes. That's all I needed."
Spike mumbled. "I can't believe I'm property!"
Xander, Willow, and Buffy leave, followed by Spike.
"Is that good enough Joss?" We, the authors, ask hopefully.
"Yes, just as long as everyone knows these characters don't belong to you," Joss replied.
We bowed to the Almighty Joss. "Yes, yes Almighty Joss! Thank you!"
Everyone left. Now the story can finally begin.