Ren sighed, the only negative emotion that he'd trained himself to express. He'd spent the last five hours agonizing over the script for the final scene in the TV movie "Forbidden Fruit". It was a love scene, and it was between his character and a girl played by none other than Kyoko.
His character was supposed to give into his feelings and confess his hidden feelings to the other lead, feelings that he'd been holding in for many months. Then they were to remove all taboos by sharing a passionate kiss and starting to undress each other while the lights dimmed.
Unfortunately, none of that would require acting.
-0-
Kyoko knew that performing love scenes had been difficult for Ren in the past, not that she was an expert in the subject herself. She had her own issues due to her past pain, and didn't have a clue how to be attractive to a man, since everything she'd done before with Sho had failed to make her endearing.
As much as she didn't like imposing on others because of her own limitations, she had to rely on Ren to lead the scene. And to her dismay, he'd seem so withdrawn during their rehearsals. Another failure for her as an actor, and a woman.
She prayed to her blue Corn stone that Ren would be able to overcome his dislike of her and portray feelings towards her, so at least he could continue his career.
-0-
She walked into the set, and was relieved to see Ren give a friendly smile to her. She smiled back, delighted. Ren was called away by the director, and she stretched. There was something about Ren that was different; he seemed completely relaxed and focused.
-0-
Her character was in his character's apartment, and was to say her goodbyes and thank you's, then leave for another country, never to be seen again.
"ACTION!"
She smiled politely, standing near the front door. He was busying himself at a table with his back to her.
"I… must leave today," she said, masking her character's pain with a smile. "Thank you for everything."
Ren became still. Kyoko became worried as the time ticked on.
Suddenly he whirled around. She couldn't help but let her jaw drop as his eyes said it all; I love you, I want you, I miss you, I'll honour you.
She paled and shivered as he strode over; she was no longer in character. Her own reactions were taking over, her own insecurities surfacing.
"Trust me," he said breathlessly, with a smouldering look. That wasn't in the script.
He looked so desperate, so needy. She knew she could trust him, Tsuruga Ren. With tears in her eyes, she launched at him and kissed him deeply. He swung her around, dipping her while maintaining the kiss. It was hot and heavy.
She wanted him; his heat, his warmth, his love.
Both of them were breathing heavily. She ran her hands up his pecs and wrapped her arms around his neck. He grunted in appreciation and ripped his tie off. Giving her a look of pure desire, he nudged her closer to the couch, pushing her down, running his hands under the back of her shirt and loosening her bra. Her face flushed, she looked at him with eyes full of need and drew him in for another kiss.
The lights faded.
She jumped as the director shouted "CUT!" amidst a roaring applause from the crew as the lights turned on again.
She was still, a look on her face similar to a deer caught in the headlights as she realised she had let out some taboo feelings – ones that were the cause of her suffering and also unprofessional to the point of jeopardising her career as an actor.
Ren was looking at her, apprehensive and concerned.
She bolted from the room.
-0-
Ren looked around desperately. Other staff members had spread out, searching the building and the nearby streets.
He was garnering some attention as his shirt was half-tucked in and he didn't have a tie, but for once he didn't care. At all.
"Excuse me," he said breathlessly as he pushed past some people and ran to the stairwell.
The only solitary place he could think of was the roof.
-0-
Ren bristled as he opened the upper door to be met by howling wind, and gasped as he saw Kyoko huddled in a corner, almost comatose. She was clutching that blue rock so tightly that Ren could see blood on her palm.
"Kyoko."
She turned her head slowly, looking afraid and ashamed.
He used his gentlest voice, and smiled. "Please, come back to us. We're all waiting to honour your success." He came near her and extended his hand.
She could barely respond. She was shivering and her teeth were chattering, but she stood up and automatically reached out her hand for his. Her hand loosened, and the rock fell, bounced off the railing and over the side of the building.
She screamed and leapt after it, an agonised expression on her face as strong arms grabbed her, stopping her from falling to her death.
Ren pulled her in close to his body, wrapping his arms around her from behind. She felt more vulnerable this way, but needed his warmth.
"Kyoko," he said gently. "I know what that rock means to you, but would you really risk your life to save it?"
"Gomen nasai. I wasn't thinking," she said meekly, but the expression on her face showed pure terror at the loss.
Ren sighed and tightened his caress. "That stone absorbs your pain. But perhaps it also contains the pain of the person who owned it and it's better it's gone."
"It doesn't matter. It contains my most precious memory, and that's worth all the pain," she said, starting to cry, deflated and weak.
He let out a breath of air. "I… have a secret that I've been keeping from you. I was the one who gave you that stone. My real name is Kuon, which you pronounced Corn. I didn't tell you who I was because I wanted you to find your own inner strength. That stone is just a stone. Whenever you use it and feel better, you alone are doing the work. Besides, I have some more in my apartment. I can give you another if you wish."
He held her tightly, knowing that she needed more body heat, yet was watching her reaction as he didn't want to make her feel trapped.
She turned her head up slowly to look at him. "You're my fairy godmother?" she asked weakly.
His eyes widened. "Yes," he replied, smiling gently.
A peaceful look came on her face, and she lost consciousness.
-0-
Ren was getting some tea from the vending machine.
His manager, Yashiro, came close.
"She's been out cold for an hour," Ren said, subdued.
"Ohhh?" replied Yashiro-san, trying to help encourage him by being energetic. "It's good that you were able to sense where she was."
"Mmh."
"Mou, I know that you will sort things out in time, but do you think that she is OK to see you so soon, when she wakes up?"
"Aa. I… said some things to her on the roof for which I'm sure she'd want an explanation," Ren said distantly.
"Ohh, you confessed your love?" Yashiro-san asked, delighted.
"Don't think I'd burden her with my pain," he growled, giving a look of pure fury and storming away, leaving Yashiro stunned.
-0-
Ren sat on a chair near her bed. It was the sick bay of the studio.
Kyoko finally stirred, and winced. Exhausted, she slowly opened her eyes. Seeing Ren, she looked dismayed.
"Kyoko," Ren said gently. "Please be honest with me. Please tell me what made you upset in the first place. You can trust me."
She hesitated, trembling.
He sighed and looked away. "You may not know much about me. I am used to pain, but I cannot stand the thought that I've caused you to be unhappy." A slight frown appeared on his forehead.
Kyoko looked away. "When we were doing the scene, it was bringing out real feelings in me. I know that your acting is powerful, and I've heard that you make your leading ladies fall in love for you for real. I am not a good enough actor to stop being in love with you. So please excuse my lapse, and I will collect myself and we shall be back to normal. Please don't laugh at me, or make fun of me."
Ren was in shock. "I would… not laugh at you. I am sure that whoever you choose is a very lucky man."
Kyoko still avoided eye contact. "It made me realise that I can never be with someone. I have too much pain and I don't want to burden anyone with it. Again, please excuse my fault. Thank you for everything you have done for me."
With that, she bowed and quickly walked out of the room, leaving Ren stunned at her confession and her use of words similar to his.
-0-
It was a quiet evening for Ren. He was usually by himself but this was the first time he actually felt lonely. His mind was constantly on Kyoko. He wanted her to be happy, and it made him miserable to think she couldn't have what he felt she deserved.
There was a knock on his door. He opened it to see Kyoko standing there, a strong look on her face.
She bowed. "Good evening, Tsuruga-san. I was wondering if I could take you up on your offer and get another rock from you."
"H-hai," he said quickly, stunned at seeing her so soon and her uncharacteristic business-like manner, and went and fetched the rock. He offered it, and she reached out her hand to accept it. He placed the rock in her hand but gripped her wrist, not allowing her to withdraw.
"You have told me your feelings about the scene, but I have not told you mine. That is unfair, because you think I am a far better actor than I am," Ren said, his eyes never leaving the rock in her hand. "The only reason I behaved so passionately is because I have feelings for you and I expressed them. In rehearsal, I was trying to hide them."
He looked up to see Kyoko staring at him in shock.
"As you can see, my secret is bigger than yours," he said, smiling.
"Ohh…" she said faintly. "While we are telling all our secrets, I'm your chicken confidante, Bo."
"EHHHHHH?!" Ren exclaimed, turning to stone.
"So… I was the girl that you said you had feelings for?" she mused, wide-eyed.
"Hai," Ren said, blushing.
She gazed at him appreciatively. "You make a good stone, Ren," she said, giggling and blushing at the use of his first name. "Maybe I can squeeze you when I'm sad instead?"
Ren's mouth fell open as he realised that she was reciprocating his feelings. "Yes, and I'm sure I will change colour, too."
She laughed, then looked at him seriously. "So you really love me?"
"Hai. I'd not experienced this level of emotion before. I'm very grateful for you teaching me what love is."
She beamed.
Ren continued. "Which means I don't have to wear hot pink as a member of the Love Me section."
"EHHHHH?!" she screamed. Ren laughed. "The president, Takarada-san, might not have said anything, but I wouldn't put it past him if I'd continued like that."
He ran his fingers through her hair. "I do have a painful past, but I will let you decide what is enough."
She gave a peaceful smile. The stone fell out of her hand as she leapt forward to kiss him. He lifted her higher with one arm while closing the door with the other, and they continued from the end of their scene.