Author's notes: The Way She Moves is the follow-up to Only Human. That fanfic can be read by searching through the list of stories under my pen name (TachyonOne) or by visiting my website (also found by navigating to my author's page). As for when future chapters will be published...the idea for this story and this first chapter took two and a half years of planning. As always, feedback is most appreciated. Thanks! - Roehl
The Way She Moves
An Ah! My Goddess Fanfic
By Roehl Sybing (TachyonOne)
Chapter One – A New Life
Belldandy was so tired.
The floor rattled beneath her, jarring her from the brief rest she was looking for. Above her head were the sounds telling her to get moving in a moment. Yet, her eyelids were too heavy and her legs were too reluctant. Belldandy lacked the motivation to face the day ahead of her.
Though half-asleep, she sensed the world around her. And whether it was someone's perfume, the moving subway car or the gust of air coming through the crack in the doors, Belldandy could pick up the scent of the beach, hear the sound of the ocean and feel the cool summer breeze. None of them were real, of course; they were all imagined and easily recalled from that one day at the beach with Keiichi.
"One, two, three!" said the stranger that took their picture. With the photograph lost somewhere among her belongings, she could still vividly recall the image in her mind. More than any other, it was the one image of Keiichi that she kept in her memory.
That was a long time ago. It did, however, bring Belldandy back to life. All she needed to do was recall the one reason she was doing what she was doing. Everything came back to Keiichi, and she felt that obligation in that very moment. She had found the strength to keep going.
"14th Street. Stand clear."
She bolted from her seat and headed for the doors as they were about to close. One moment later and she would have missed her stop. Belldandy smiled to herself, relieved. Today was not the day to be late as there were many things to do.
"Thank you, Keiichi," she said to no one, and off to work she went.
Belldandy took a moment to look at the crowd still filing into the room. Nothing out of the ordinary; many waited in anticipation for her to begin, while others talked amongst themselves, and others still found the brief instant of sleep that she couldn't find on the train. Yet, each and every one of them shifted their focus onto her upon hearing her voice.
"Alright, class," she said, "Let's begin."
The room of sixty-odd students hushed. The eagerness showed on many of their faces. For some, the reason was obvious. Belldandy almost never cited the required readings from homework, which made participation easy.
"Why do people communicate with each other?"
A collection of hands went up in the air.
"It's to show you know something, that you're smart," one student said.
"To express feelings?" asked another.
"I was going to say it's a natural human function," said a third.
Belldandy smiled, and clicked her tongue in a playful fashion. She shook her head, saying, "Looks like a few people didn't do the readings last night."
The students laughed. She never criticized, and her way of compelling them to do the classwork only endeared her to them.
"'Please give me the pen.' 'I would like a glass of water.' 'I wish I had more time.' Why do people communicate? What does that sound like?"
"They want something," said a student in the back.
"Right! People only speak when they want something, and can get it from someone else. Everyone has wishes, desires in their heart. They know someone might be able to fulfill those desires. But in order to have others grant that wish, they must speak out first. It is one of the first pieces of procedural knowledge that every being acquires from birth, knowing how to get what you want or need. From this key element of knowledge, beliefs, thoughts and memories are acquired. From those, feelings, emotions. Ultimately, from communication comes happiness, or at least the belief in happiness."
Students about the room nodded to acknowledge their understanding. Belldandy felt relieved. She was not completely grounded in the textbooks she was required to teach, nor was she always confident that her ideas for "Basic Epistemology I" would hold up to the most intense scrutiny from peers. The best Belldandy could do, however, was try to relate what she understood about the course material and relate them to her own experiences, applying broad strokes so that it wasn't clear whether or not she was talking in personal terms. It was those demands that kept her up late at night before classes, and sent her to the university half-asleep at times.
"Oh, before I forget, all students in the department have to be advised before registration for classes next semester," Belldandy said, "If you're going to take 'Social Foundations' with Professor Brant, he will hold hours on Thursday."
A few interested hands went up to signal for the sign-up sheet Belldandy gave to one of the students up front.
"Also, I will be available for advisement this afternoon, so here's my sign-up sheet for--"
Belldandy paused in mid-sentence, as nearly every other student raised their hand. She was both flattered by the attention, and troubled by all the responsibility of advising almost all the students of this class, and many more who would be interested in her classes in the spring.
"School of Integrated Studies, please hold. School of Integrated Studies, please hold."
Even as the department's office neared its peak activity for the day, everyone stopped to greet Belldandy.
"Good morning, Belldandy!"
"Hello, professor."
"Belldandy, how are you?"
For the most part, it was, of course, because they needed something from her.
"Could I have you sign this?"
"I wanted to take care of advising today."
"Are you coming to the faculty meeting tomorrow?"
Already, she was exasperated by the requests she faced while walking from the elevator to reception. At least there was a friendly face at the front desk to relay her requests.
"School of Integrated Studies, please hold. School of Integrated Studies, please hold. Good morning, Bell!"
"Good morning, Amanda! When you're free--"
"I'm free right now, what's up?"
Belldandy looked curiously at Amanda as she rested the phone on her shoulder, as green lights blinked all over the switchboard.
"Uh, well, I need someone to take one of my advising hours this afternoon. I was hoping to leave campus early today."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I would never ask, but today I promised to make dinner at home, so--"
"It's no problem, I can ask Professor DeFrank to extend his hours today," Amanda assured her, who was already feeling and sounding guilty just for asking.
"Oh, thank you! That would be great!"
"Don't worry about it!" Amanda said, "Oh, and you need to submit recommendations for the fast track program before you leave today."
Belldandy, who was already heading down the hallway, stopped in her tracks. "You mean tomorrow," she said.
Amanda shook her head, "Today. Professor Nicols sent out a reminder this morning."
A jaw dropped. In all likelihood, Amanda was right. "I can't do it today! I was going to finish them tomorrow! I haven't even decided who I'm going to recommend!"
"You should talk to him, then. He'll understand."
Belldandy's heart sank. There's absolutely no way he would understand, she thought. The man who gave her an opportunity, when no one else would, expected more than a hundred percent from her. Small, clerical tasks like these paled in comparison to her greater responsibilities, but Professor Nicols appeared to value every obligation equally, with his reputation seeming to be that every shortcoming was looked down upon with weighty disappointment.
"Thank you, Amanda," she said, horrified.
She walked to her office with a cloud over her, and a smile on her face to hide her anxiousness, even as students and faculty approached for help or assistance. All of a sudden, she felt unable to help them. So she hid in her office.
Belldandy was happy to have earned her own office last semester, for once the door shut behind her, it was only her and her thoughts. And the growing pile of paperwork already on her desk, waiting to complement that which was in her arms. At least, though, she could decide for herself how to handle it. Sitting down, she made note of all the things she had to do. From advisement to lectures, everything had some sort of paper attached to it, and it was really getting worse by the day.
"What am I doing here?" she said to herself. How she ended up here was the result of a wild turn of events. In a way, it made a bit of sense. Much of her life on Earth had been spent on the college campus. Not that she had much insight into its inner workings from the outset, but there was a bit of comfort in being inside an environment that she could relate to. The work, on the other hand, overrode that sense of ease without much effort. Though exciting and challenging, it became a bit much at times, and just dwelling on it, even casually, for a moment, made her more frantic.
Then she saw it. With her arms flung over her desk, searching for the short stack of recommendation papers for Professor Nicols, eventually it found its way to the center of the entire mess in front of her. Lost in the shuffle was the picture frame that would have otherwise been standing upright.
The picture in the frame was from all those years ago, on the beach. He always smiled, at least for her, but she loved his expression in this one picture the most. In that moment, looking back at that point in time, Belldandy seemed less troubled.
It was because of memories like those that Belldandy never regretted giving up her goddess license. The new perspective humanity gave her presented many exciting challenges and rewards over the years. So much had happened to her in so short a time that it was overwhelming to recall all of it. By now, halfway around the world from where she started, she was a college professor, so different and yet so similar to her old life of answering phone calls and granting wishes. Every day, she was surrounded by students whose dreams were waiting to be fulfilled. As their advisor, she could hear about what they needed and wanted. Of course, she couldn't provide everything, but at the very least, even her advice seemed to be enough to leave students well on their way. Even the faculty depended on her in all the moments in between advising and teaching. In return, in the largest university in the city, Belldandy managed to find a few friends, more than enough for her to get through the day and make something of herself.
And then there was Keiichi. She ran her thumb across his image as she held the frame. She looked at him, then looked at all of the work spread across her desk. With a weak smile, she said to him, "I don't know when I'll be home, Keiichi."
Advising was Belldandy's time to listen. Listen to what students wanted, and then recommend what they should do about it, while telling them what she could do for them. This part of her job was easy, and quite familiar.
"Shouldn't I be taking courses in the chemistry department?" Anthony asked Belldandy.
"Not until your second year," she replied, "You have to complete some core courses first."
To Belldandy's surprise, her advisee sighed in relief. "That's good."
"Good?"
"I mean, well...I can afford to wait, I guess."
She put his paperwork on the desk, and rolled her chair closer to him. "Anthony, do you want to major in chemistry?"
"Absolutely!" he said in an emphatic voice. One look from her, however, and Anthony changed his tune. "Well, no. Not really."
Belldandy nodded her head. "You can still change majors if you'd like."
Anthony recoiled, saying, "Oh, no, I couldn't! My mother would kill me!"
"Your mother?"
"She's a department head at University Hospital, that's why I came here in the first place. She wants me to do something like research. It was hard enough saying that I didn't want to go to medical school, I couldn't tell her that I don't want to major in chemistry anymore!"
Belldandy smiled in understanding. She went back to his paperwork, namely his admissions documents, examining them carefully.
"You have a lot of fine arts credentials from high school. Drama, film, photography, all four years."
"Professor..."
"No, it's alright. I was just thinking that it reminds me of someone I know. For as long as I've known him, he's worked on motorcycles. Actually, he's made a living out of it."
Anthony asked, "Well, what did his parents want him to do?"
"Oh, it's not that. There was this woman that he knew."
She cupped her mouth and covered her cheeks for a moment, only to make sure she wasn't red in the face.
"Nothing ever seemed to discourage him. His friends, other men, even her sisters, they all tried to get in between the two of them. But he was determined to see his wish fulfilled, because, deep down in his heart, he knew what he wanted. Others would get in his way, but he always saw past them. In a way, he made his own desire come true."
Anthony nodded. Still, he felt as though he lacked options, despite Belldandy's advice.
The phone rang, breaking the instant of silence during advisement.
"Hello?" Belldandy said into the phone. No answer in return.
"Hello? Hello?"
The caller ID on her desk phone was no help, with "Unidentified" displayed across its tiny screen. She hung up the phone, finishing her thought.
"So, here's what will happen. You don't have to do anything until the end of next year. But anytime before that, if you come in and talk about this again...I'll grant your wish."
Belldandy shook his hand upon seeing him light up. It was no immediate remedy, but for now he was happy to at least think about it.
Anthony left the room to make way for the next appointment. In the one brief moment in between, Belldandy thought about those fast track recommendations. If they didn't take at least two pages of writing about each student, accompanied by forms in triplicate, she could've done them knowing exactly who to recommend. If only she could stop thinking about what Professor Nicols would say later on.
Twenty students went through Belldandy's office in just a few hours. She gave assistance to all, but was happy when it was finished. She stretched her arms and yawned, wondering about choices for lunch.
"Can I come in?" said the knock at the open door.
"Yes, please," Belldandy replied.
The first thing she saw in the doorway was a half-eaten muffin in one hand. The rest of him entered next, along with the crumbs that fell to the floor.
"Good afternoon, professor," she said as she tried to contain a laugh.
"How are you today?" William asked her.
"I'm fine...uh...thanks."
Belldandy looked at the remaining papers on her desk, as they became sprinkled with the muffin crumbs that William brushed off of his sweater.
"Oh. Sorry about that."
"It's alright," she said as they worked together to clean up the mess.
"It's just that I eat when I'm nervous, and my table manners are not that great when I'm nervous," William said.
"What's wrong?"
"I need to ask you for a favor. I scheduled an advisement for one of my students, but I scheduled it right before another one of my classes."
"Can't you cancel the appointment?"
"Well, she's leaving town tomorrow to attend a wedding, and I'm already booked all of next week. It has to be today."
She nodded in consent. "I can meet with her for a bit. What time--?"
"Actually, it can only be me. I'm recommending her for fast track next semester and need to talk with her so I have some idea what to write."
"I see."
"I need you to cover my class," William said.
"What?" Belldandy said.
"It's only for fifteen minutes! I ask her a few questions for the paperwork, it's over and done. I just need you to make sure the homework gets collected and the readings are handed out."
She let out a sigh. She was really looking forward to leaving campus as early as possible today.
"Please," William insisted, "It's just for today."
With no desire to disappoint him, Belldandy had to say yes.
"Thank you so much!"
"You're welcome, professor. Just...do you what you need to do."
"Of course," William said, leaving his chair to head out. "How are your recommendations going?"
Belldandy shook her head, saying, "I have them, but I can't finish them today. I have to talk to Professor Nicols later. What should I do?"
He looked down, then back up at Belldandy. "Do you want to borrow my bicycle helmet?"
"William!"
"Sorry!" he said, laughing, "Just...tell him sooner rather than later. Get it out of the way now, if you can."
"I see."
"Don't worry about it," William said.
"I do worry about it!" Belldandy cried, "Do you know what he's done for me? Where would I be without him? Now this disappointment?"
"Belldandy, it's no big deal. But it will be a big deal if you don't tell him soon."
William was right. His advice echoed in Belldandy's ears as she agreed with him. Her next stop, right now, would have to be the office down the hall.
Everyone noticed the changes as they walked off the vinyl flooring of the hallways and onto the patterned carpet that lined Professor Nicols' office. That, and all the antique wooden furniture around the room, presented to all visitors an air of distinction. Those students and newer faculty members who didn't know any better always thought, upon entering, that it made the professor seem out of touch and out of date. Belldandy never thought that at all. Quite the opposite from out of touch.
"Professor Nicols?"
"Shh," he replied. He swung the compass around the surface of his notebook page, carefully drawing the circle while laying across his sofa. No one ever got a close enough look at the designs in his notebook, only that they knew they were for his amusement. Otherwise they would see the light of day for everyone else's benefit.
Belldandy continued to inch closer to him. "Professor, I have something to--"
"Shh," he said again. Belldandy clasped her hands and waited, as the professor finished whatever it was that he was drawing.
"Everyone gets what they deserve," Professor Nicols said, "What knowledge?"
Belldandy insisted, "Professor, I only have a few minutes--"
"What knowledge, Belldandy?" he asked again, keeping his eyes on his work.
"A priori," she replied, playing along.
"So the experience is somewhat different?"
"I didn't say that, sir. But people are required to believe it first."
"Why?"
She stopped for a moment, searching for what she thought was an obvious conclusion until she actually had to articulate it.
"Because people can't be good without believing it."
Professor Nicols smiled, and finally looked at her as he stood up and went for his desk. "Do you really believe that, Belldandy?"
"No, sir. But it's what I've observed."
A chuckle from the professor as he tucked away his notebook into the top drawer. "Someday," he said, "I'll figure out the pain that you mask underneath all those measured answers and careful smiles. I guess for now your feigned happiness will do."
"I don't feign happiness, professor."
"You don't have to convince me, Belldandy."
She shook her head and smiled. "Do you talk to students like this?"
"No, just to the adjuncts on which I take pity and hire afterwards," he said with a rather blunt tone. "What can I do for you today?"
She just had to be reminded of the debt she owed to him as they sat down at his desk. Especially now, at the moment of her confession.
"About those recommendations for the fast track program."
"I'll take them now if you have them," Professor Nicols said, with hand extended.
Belldandy bit her lip, knowing whatever was coming was imminent, and sooner rather than later was the wisest.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I will need another day to complete them."
The professor sat back in his chair, his extended hand now resting firmly in his pocket. "Is that so?" he asked, eyebrows pursed.
"Sir, I was under the impression that they needed to be submitted tomorrow. I was going to sit down then to make my final decision."
No response. Professor Nicols nodded his head, his eyes directed toward his desk.
"I don't know what I was thinking. I'm truly sorry, sir. I promise it will never happen again."
The professor sat in silence, as if judgment was pending. Belldandy was frozen; she had to remain still, or else she would be shaking, as every other faculty member in the department would.
"Don't make that promise, Belldandy," he finally said, "Nothing happened, as far as I'm concerned."
Her eyes widened. "Professor?"
"That reminder this morning...adjuncts have always submitted those recommendations late every semester. In fact, you're probably the only one who has ever turned them in on time! No one ever looks at the calendar, so I announced the deadline as today to try to get everyone in line. You were right, however. The real cut-off is tomorrow."
Belldandy exhaled in great relief. "I understand."
"I do want them on my desk by the end of tomorrow, of course."
"Of course, professor," she said, getting up and expressing her thanks.
"Any thoughts on who to recommend?"
In fact, she did. Belldandy wouldn't have had an answer had she come in earlier in the day. "Anthony Pressman. First year."
Professor Nicols searched his memory. "The chemistry student?"
"Yes, sir, have you met him?"
"Only from seeing him in the lobby from time to time. Oh, he's a smart one. Doesn't know what he wants, though. His father is probably a researcher, wants him to carry on the line, I suppose."
Belldandy smiled. "Yes, sir. His mother, though, and she's a doctor. You got that just from talking with him in the lobby?"
"Oh, I haven't talked to him, just seen him as I come to the office. But he's such an open book, he doesn't need to say anything. He'll make a fine candidate for fast tracking, maybe then he'll figure out what he wants out of university life."
"Of course, sir. Thank you, sir."
Again, she headed for the door, only to be stopped by Professor Nicols.
"You may think you're not an open book, Belldandy, but I think you used to be, and no one breaks that kind of habit."
Belldandy turned around again.
"Who is this man that occupies your every thought?" he asked.
She didn't know how to answer at first. The professor never involved himself with office gossip, and she never talked about Keiichi that much at work anyways.
"When you beat that grandmaster in the park," she said, "You said you saw checkmate in sixteen moves."
"Twelve. But still impressive."
"Do you think you see everyone that deeply?"
Professor Nicols shrugged. "It's either a gift or a curse."
Belldandy, let alone anyone else close to him, didn't know what to make of his arrogance. She did know, from their conversations, that at least some of it was justified. How much of her was he able to deduce, after all? Until she knew, however, all of it remained playful discourse as she left his office.
At the end of her late lunch break, Belldandy was seen coming back to the department with two bags of groceries.
"Special occasion?" a grinning Amanda asked.
Belldandy looked back at her, saying, "It's just dinner."
On the way back to her office, she peeked around the corner. Sure enough, there was William with another student. His class was coming up in ten minutes. She reminded herself that all she needed to do was collect their homework and get them started on their reading. All that stood between her and starting dinner early.
She got to her office just in time to catch a ringing phone. Dropping the groceries underneath her desk, she picked up the phone to answer.
"Hello? Hello?"
Again, no answer. Not even a click or a dial tone. Belldandy hung up the phone, wondering if she should tell Amanda about a possible crank caller, which would only lead to Amanda throwing words like "stalker" or "pervert" in frantic tones. She didn't have time for that, however; she had a class to observe, if only for a little while.
William saw his advisee out of his office and into the lobby. He checked his watch and found himself a few minutes behind schedule as expected. All he needed to do was grab his books and folders and head out--
"Now we're entering the office of the School of Integrated Studies. It is one of the fastest growing schools in Metropolitan University, appealing to students with a diverse educational background or a curiosity in a wide variety of disciplines."
The tour guide shuffled the group of high school students into the office, showing them where many of the students went to ask for guidance, socialize with their classmates or simply rest on one of the couches. William walked past them, towards the elevator.
"--And this is Professor William Kenyon," said the tour guide, "He is an assistant instructor at the School, teaching mathematics and physics."
William stopped, if only briefly, "Hello. Good luck with your applica--"
Suddenly, one of the students gasped. "Professor Kenyon?" she said, "Assistant to Professor Forsberg?"
"Uh...yes, that's right. That was awhile ago, though."
"You helped him win the Wolf Prize in Mathematics!"
High school students typically shouldn't have to know that sort of obscure detail, which astonished William. "W-well, I-I-I wasn't really..."
"He's so cool," the girl said to her friends, "I'm definitely coming here next year!"
The tour guide and William looked at each other, not sure how to react.
"Could I ask you a couple of questions?" the student said.
The tour guide intervened, "Unfortunately, Professor Kenyon is probably on his way to something, so--"
"No, not at all," William said. Rarely did any of his own students show this much interest in math or physics, and the opportunity to show off the depth of his expertise overrode everything else.
"So, are you interested in mathematics?" he asked.
Twenty minutes passed. Belldandy looked at the clock, nervously waiting for William to come in and take over. His students were either engaged in the reading or staring into space, while a few looked directly at her for guidance.
"Where's Professor Kenyon?"
"He should be here any minute now," Belldandy replied, even though she wasn't confident of that anymore.
Awkward silence filled the room as the class carried on without direction.
"If there's any questions I can answer, I can try to answer them."
She let out a nervous laugh, as a number of students raised their hands, while their faces contained puzzled looks after a glance at the reading.
"Thank you very much. Thank you very much!"
As the throng of high school students followed their tour guide deeper into the department, William was left feeling quite flattered at being recognized. If only more students were interested in both math and physics...
Physics! He was late for his physics class!
He didn't even think that much time had passed. As he raced to his class, he wondered to himself how a few questions, a couple of anecdotes about college life, a model demonstration of inertia and momentum taken from a previous class, and a trip to the vending machines with the entire group took well over forty-five minutes.
His next thought, of course, was how chaotic the class must be without him. He could only imagine what Belldandy would think.
The classroom door swung open, and William rested his hands on his knees as he caught his breath.
"I'm so sorry!" he said.
He looked around the room, expecting disorder among a sea of bewildered faces. Yet, to his surprise, many of the students had been intently focusing their attention on Belldandy, whose chalkboard was littered with all sorts of mathematical equations and diagrams.
"Um, so..." Belldandy continued, "Using this formula, you should be able to calculate the velocity of the second object as observed from the first object having a velocity as observed by us. Simple. Any questions?"
Looks and sighs of realization filled the room, as confusion kept itself to a minimum. William was intrigued.
"Wait," he said, "That's not in the readings I've given out yet."
"No, it's not. I had to piece it together from memory. I hope you don't mind," Belldandy said.
He raised his eyebrows in astonishment. The assistant physics professor looked at his students, seeing that they didn't need any clarification of what the department's philosophy instructor had just taught them.
"No, I don't mind at all!" William said, "Um, thank you. I can take over now."
"Actually," a student said, "Class is over, professor."
Both Belldandy and William looked at the clock. At the appointed time, students slowly collected their belongings and headed for the door. A scattering of thank you's and goodbye's greeted Belldandy as they left. Only once or twice, and only at the end of a semester, did William receive such a warm response.
The door shut behind the last student, changing Belldandy's rather light demeanor in a heartbeat.
"Fifteen minutes, you said! What happened?"
William's tone was apologetic. "I could try to explain. I feel really bad about it," he said.
Belldandy forced a smile. With no real harm done, she couldn't really be upset. "Don't worry about it," she said, "The lecture turned out fine."
"Yes, I'm surprised, actually," he said, looking at the board, "You seem to know your way around physics."
"I don't know. Much of it is second nature, if you apply some common sense."
The professor scoffed, saying, "Special relativity's not second nature! There aren't a dozen people on the faculty that remember all of that from college. Even I have to look back at my notes sometimes!"
Belldandy laughed. She couldn't find a way to tell him that she didn't study the nature of the universe in class. "I guess the students helped with the lecture a bit. They're really bright," she said.
"Well, whatever you did," William said, stopping at his office door, "Thank you for covering for me."
She shook her head. "You would've done the same for me."
"Oh, I don't know. There's so many people here with their own agendas and routines, it's hard to find someone you can rely on."
"Don't mention it, professor. Really," Belldandy said, starting to walk away.
William, however, was not finished. "Um, Belldandy? I feel I should repay the favor."
She looked back at William, shaking her head, "You needed help. I was just happy to give it."
"No, actually," he said, staggering his speech in hesitation, "I've been meaning to ask for awhile, and this would be the perfect time...I was thinking dinner tonight would be good."
Belldandy held her breath for a moment. "Dinner?"
William inched closer to her. "There's a nice place around the block, I've been meaning to go. How about together?"
She blushed. Even now, an invitation still felt surprisingly pleasant. But she would, of course, have to refuse. After all, a pair of grocery bags were waiting underneath her desk.
"I...actually have someone waiting for me."
Belldandy had been the first person to return home every night for the last two weeks, which meant it was her responsibility to start dinner. That was fine with her since she loved to cook.
It was also the tenth straight dish that was entirely new, never copied from nights past. Variety was very important to her, and the knock of the door, and the sound of footsteps in the doorway reminded her that both of them would appreciate a change.
"I'm home!"
Belldandy was relieved to hear that sound. She was silent all the way from the office to the apartment, and it was nice to finally have someone to talk to about her day.
"Janie!" she replied, "I didn't see you leave this morning!"
A head peeked into the kitchen, accompanied with the sound of shoes being kicked aside. Janie inhaled the scent of dinner on the stove. "That must be good," she said.
"It better be, I haven't pulled myself away from this stove since I started! Where did you go this morning?"
"I had a callback this morning at some theater uptown, didn't I tell you on Saturday?"
Belldandy's eyes lit up. "That's right! The opera?"
"That was last week. This one is a revival...reinterpretation or something. It's all about--"
"Skip to the important part already," she interrupted, still focused on her cooking, "How did it go?"
Janie said nothing. She had a great, big smile on her face, but she said nothing, merely waiting for Belldandy to pick her head up.
"Really?"
She nodded, saying, "I think so!"
Belldandy tore herself away from her work. She reached out to give Janie a hug. "Oh, that's wonderful!"
"I know! It opens in three weeks!"
"Why didn't you just say so?"
"I wanted to extend the moment as long as possible before--"
"--before I ask you about your share of the rent!"
"Ow, that hurts!" Janie said, clutching her shoulder, which Belldandy had struck when reminding her she was behind by two months.
Belldandy smiled, "I'm so happy for you."
Janie replied, "Thanks. Let's celebrate. I bet this is a nice dinner you made."
"And paid for, too!"
As always, dinner was near perfection. Not only because Belldandy had made it, but because it gave her and Janie the only time in the day to talk freely. Their careers at the university and on the Broadway stage offered them plenty of work and responsibility that there was very little time before evening to reflect. Their only regret, of course, was that they ate so quickly.
"Couldn't you have made more?" Janie said in jest, "You always used to make enough for three or four servings!"
"And you used to eat more than your share," Belldandy retorted as she began to clean up.
"I'm sorry, I already promised I'll pay this month's rent and handle the groceries!"
Belldandy laughed and carried the dishes into the kitchen, but continued, "No, it's not that. I guess I'm getting superstitious."
"What do you mean?" Janie asked, helping her out.
"I've been keeping track. The last couple of times I made more than usual, you always bring a surprise date home. Like the last time. What's his name? Bobby. I thought that went well."
"Nah, he reminded me too much of an old boyfriend from high school. Could've been disaster, I could tell!" Janie said, half-nostalgic, "But what does that have to do with dinner?"
"Isn't it obvious? Every time I make extra, you and your date always end up eating everything after I leave you alone for the night! You have my cooking, I get a pizza and soda down the street!"
"You're welcome to stay! It's your apartment too!"
"That's alright, I know what it's like to need privacy when you have a boyfriend."
"God, it sounds so serious. I wouldn't say 'boyfriend,' but--Belldandy?"
Belldandy dropped the plates in the sink, and stopped. She looked straight ahead at the wall and quickly developed a blank stare as Janie watched.
"Belldandy?"
She awoke from her brief trance at the sound of Janie's commanding voice. "Huh? What?"
Janie broke out into laughter. "What was that?" she said.
"It's nothing, really."
"C'mon, what do you know about dating?" said a curious, almost-taunting Janie, "Not once have I seen you bring home a guy. I've never even seen you with another man, period!"
By now, Belldandy was bordering on listless. Her bout with past memories was either very pleasant or very depressing. Janie just couldn't say, only that as her roommate walked past her, she merely said, "Trust me, I know."
Now she was worried that she might have offended her, after going on about her love life when it was a strong possibility that her friend lacked much of one. She rarely got angry at her - when she did, a strong tempest of emotion from Belldandy was much deserved - and the rest of the time, she was pretty easy to read anyways. This time, however, Janie didn't have any idea what she was thinking, and that made her wonder if she had overstepped her bounds.
"Belldandy?" Janie said, entering her bedroom. She was sitting on her bed, with her back turned towards the doorway, her head lowered towards something unseen.
"Belldandy?" she said again, walking around the bed, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset you."
She picked her head up. "Hmm? No, I'm not upset. I just...I don't know."
"Is that what I think it is?"
Belldandy nodded, and handed to Janie the object that was in her possession. "It was given to me a long time ago," she said.
It was slightly dull, lacking polish due to age, but it still reflected in the light. Janie examined it from all angles.
"A wedding ring?" Janie said.
"No, it's not," Belldandy replied, offering a weak smile.
"An engagement ring, then?"
She was quiet. She kept an open mouth as if she were ready to speak, but Belldandy was quite reluctant with an answer. "I don't know."
"I don't understand," said a puzzled Janie.
"I just don't know, that's all. I was going to leave him. Not by choice, of course, I wanted to stay. Then he gave me that ring. To this day, I'm not sure what for. But I stayed with him long afterwards. Until...well, obviously, not for years now," said Belldandy.
"I'm sorry."
She smiled at Janie, saying, "Don't be. I'm not sad for bringing it up. I'm...not really anything."
Belldandy took the ring back and examined it herself.
"To be honest, I don't know what to feel about it. Then a few years ago...suddenly..."
Janie watched her drift into silence again. After a while, she finally asked, "What happened?"
Belldandy remained silent. Even for the moment after the power went out.
Janie let out a brief shriek as the lights turned off. Outside the window and across the street, the adjacent apartment building, also without power, obscured the night sky, and left the bedroom, and every place else in the apartment, in darkness.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Janie said, "Where's the flashlight?"
Belldandy gasped. "Oops."
"What?"
"I forgot to change the batteries in it," she confessed.
A groan. "Great."
The telephone beside the bed rang, and both of them jumped. It rang a few times as they came down from their anxiety.
"It's just the phone, Janie!"
"I heard you jump, too!"
"I have it," Belldandy said, fumbling for the phone and placing it to her ear, "Hello? Hello?"
But no answer was on the other line, as the power came back on and illuminated the room again.
"Oh, that's better," a relieved Janie said, "Who was that?"
Belldandy returned the phone to the receiver, saying, "No one."
She kept the ring in her hand as she sat on the fire escape outside her bedroom window. Belldandy looked up and tried to find the stars up in the sky. The lights below made it difficult to notice the tiny specks up above. But she hoped they were there, just as she hoped someone would be listening when she spoke.
"I had a really busy day, you know? It's about that time, though. Everyone's getting ready for final exams. I have to advise a hundred students about their final projects. I don't know what I got myself into!"
Belldandy said that as she laughed. At least, perhaps, he knew what she was going through.
"Then there's William. You would like him. I mean, if you weren't..."
She stopped. How could she think of both of them in the same conversation? The least she could do was change the subject.
"I miss you, Keiichi," she said, "I've missed you for a very long time. Some days, I just want someone to come down and grant my wish...then we could be together again."
No answer. Of course, Belldandy expected as much. Still, she shook her head in disappointment.
"I don't know when I'll be home."
TO BE CONTINUED.