Context: Lily and James had a snogging session some time before this, where Lily told James that she only snogs true Gryffindors and they ended up snogging anyway. And this takes place after one of the flashbacks in the book where Sev confronts Lily, but I can't for the life of me remember where it bloody took place. Sorry. More details near the end if you're interested, but that's all you should need to know, I think. Hope you enjoy x -Ryelvira

"For the last time, Sev, it's either me or the Death Eaters, and you've already made your choice," Lily said earnestly as she stared at what she could make out of the outline of Severus's face. She was thankful for the darkness because it had hid her quivering lip, though her voice still cracked every now and then with the strain of grief from losing a friend. "I said this last year, after the OWLs, and I stand by it." She sniffled, then took a step backwards. "I don't even know why I still bother, after all this time. Merlin," she cursed, then turned to stomp her way out of the corridor she had met him in.

"Lily! Wait!"

But she was having none of it. She stomped away quickly and made a sharp turn towards the corridor heading in the direction of Gryffindor Tower without the intention of actually going there. In the shelter of the darkness, she moved silently to the side and hid behind another wall, watching as Severus chased after her blindly. "Lily! Please!" he kept calling, the fact that Lily was not in front of him at all unknown to him.

She didn't know why she kept agreeing to these, anyway. Severus had made it clear last year when he had called her something unforgivable. Mudblood. She knew from that moment on that he had changed, and that there was nothing more she could do.

She felt something catch in her throat at the thought, then hurried away in the opposite direction towards Astronomy Tower, where she knew she'd be alone. Merlin knows she needed this time to herself, so that she could sodding think. So that she could work out her feelings in silence, where nobody could bother her. So that nobody would see her if she so happened to start sobbing.

Exhausted, she forced herself to navigate up a few flights of stairs before she was reasonably sure that Filch wouldn't find her on one of his random runs (as dedicated to patrolling as Filch was, even he avoided taking the stairs to wherever he chose to police), then rested herself against the stone wall and faced towards a window that stood high enough for her to view the stars. Hundreds and hundreds of them twinkled from their position so far away, and she envied them for it; she envied them because she wanted nothing more than to be miles and miles away from all of this.

"Evans," said a voice, and without even glancing in that direction she knew who it was. She had felt the lurch in her stomach, the beating of her heart, and the signature cadence of James Potter's voice (though his voice came softly, this time).

"Potter," she managed without even looking, keeping her eyes fixated on the night sky as she raised a finger to twirl with her hair nervously. Nervously? Why was she bloody nervous. What reason would there be to be bloody nervous around this toerag?

And then it came. The memory of their kiss not a week ago, how she so fondly wrapped her arms around his neck and succumbed to the desires she didn't know she had. How she fell for Potter in that one moment, and allowed herself just a kiss. One kiss. And then it'd be over.

But then she kissed him again. And again. And just one kiss became a snog and, as much as she hated to admit it, she longed for his arms to wrap around her again.

She remembered all of this with dread and a certain exhilarating feeling pulsing through her bones. She wanted him. She knew that much about herself, and she hated him for it. It crossed her mind that she could have it again, if only she asked for it; but Lily Evans was not about to allow herself to fancy the toerag who cost her her best friend.

That was it, she reminded herself desperately, he cost you your best friend. "I'm not about to go on any dates with you, and I'm not about to snog you. So you can skedaddle, Potter," she said after a few moments of silence, still staring out into the sky, aware that Potter had moved and sat on the ledge to her left, just a step above her.

"Though I'd love that, that's not what I came for," Potter said, nudging her with his shoulder. "You all right, Evans?"

"Fine. Dandy. I just don't know why I bother anymore," she began, cursing herself for bothering to tell him anything and cursing the fact she felt the need to even more.

James stayed quiet for few minutes before he spoke. "I saw what happened, you know."

Lily wasn't sure how to feel about that. She stayed silent for a few moments then nodded, and Potter stared at her for a few moments awaiting a reply before he spoke.

"I hexed him on the way here." Lily scowled at him for a few moments before Potter broke out with a slight chuckle. "I'm only kidding. I would've, but the git got away when Filch came around the corner."

She felt both the warmth that came from anger and the warmth that came from fancying someone and resolved to reminding herself why she hated him in the first place. He cost you your best friend. He won't leave you alone. He won't stop bothering you. He won't stop making every bloody-thing around you into something that would ask you out. He kissed you. He won't stop pranking you. He won't stop pranking your friends. He kissed you. He makes your life as a prefect miserable. He . . .

He kissed you. He kissed you. He kissed you. And you kissed him first.

"Sod it," she whispered to herself and spared Potter the first glance that evening in an attempt to quell the flurry of thoughts in her head, an action that only made it worse.

He kissed you, and you kissed him first.

And before she knew it, she was already leaning forwards to get the second snog that week from the boy she hated to fancy. Her arms had lifted and she was about to grab him when a sudden crash stopped her cold. Had it not been for the crash of something further down the stairs, she would've done it, but instead, she jumped in surprise. James had had his attention on the stars when she had attempted the kiss and now leapt, himself.

"Filch," was all he said as he took out a cloak. "Shh. Don't say anything about it, just shh," James said as he pressed her against the wall and covered the both of them top to bottom in the cloak. She didn't know he had a cloak. He was now pressed up against the witch, and that didn't do Lily any favors at all.

Mrs. Norris came up first, sniffing around curiously for anything out of the ordinary when Filch followed after, rubbing his foot from where he had forgotten the loose step on the stairway was. He was cursing a storm under his breath when the cat came around to where they were hiding. She seemed to be staring right at them. Lily wrapped her arms around him in terror for comfort, not realizing what she was doing.

Shit.

"Smell anything, Mrs. Norris?" Filch said, looking around for a pair of students to bust. The cat merely hung around where James had Lily pressed up against the wall, then, upon final inspection, decided something further up was more interesting than a pair of students she could not see. And with that, the cat led Filch further upstairs. Thank Merlin for that.

"That was close," James said defiantly, not daring to move, just staring at Lily's emerald eyes as his arms wrapped more tightly around her. She didn't even realize. And then she realized where her hands were.

Damn it.

Even for Lily, who felt absolutely determined not to snog James Potter, began to melt at his touch and stared up at him, back into his eyes which looked at her in that certain way. That certain way that made her feel as if he were staring right into her soul.

Lily blushed, then tilted her head and let out a whimper as James bit his lip and began to lead downwards. Then, something within Lily snapped. With their lips close enough that they could practically taste each other's breath (though they hadn't officially snogged, yet), Lily suddenly pulled back and untangled herself from him again, remembering what happened last time.

So what are we now?

Those words echoed in her head, haunted her, scared her. Because she knew that if they did it again, she would fall head over heels for the Potter who had her pushed up against a wall. She would fancy him in a way she never fancied anyone else before. She would fancy him the way she had fancied him for the past six years, even though she hadn't known it.

And she couldn't let that happen.

"I, uh, have to go," she suddenly said, shoving James back slightly. "Potions test in the morning. I'm so sorry," she said, out of breath, then tiptoed to kiss him on the cheek impulsively.

Shit, she cursed for the third time that night, then stomped away in disbelief.

A Gryffindor, but she couldn't even acknowledge her feelings for James Potter for what they were, lest what they might lead to. She heard herself from just a few days ago and shook her head. I only snog true Gryffindors, and that notion would end up staying with her throughout her dreams for that night.

And she would hate the fact that the true Gryffindor in her dreams would end up being none other than James Potter in the morning.

Author's note:

Okay, I'll be honest with you. I don't remember much about the context surrounding this piece, but I do know that this one-shot was penned after my bestest friend in the world and I roleplayed Jily in a chatroom (the fic itself was prompted by her, interestingly enough). I remember the roleplay vividly and that James and Lily snogged in a corridor, producing the context for this piece, and that Lily was the one who gave in to the UST (Ha, bae :3) but I don't actually remember much about writing this. I just found it whilst doing homework and looking through some old files that I happened to stumble upon while searching for a suitable location to store my schoolwork.

I hope you enjoyed. I know that I haven't been too active lately (dead for a year, pretty much .-.) but I promise to be more active in the coming days, especially cuz I have more time these days. If you like Jily, Harry Potter fanfics in general or Fallout (feel free to jump into those when posted :3 you don't really need to know much about the world since I introduce each fic as if it were standalone, not a fanfic), then be sure to follow. And please please please favourite. I'll love you lots for it.

Thanks for reading. Hugs and kisses. -Rye