Hope you guys likey this one! This was written BEFORE I read LIES, and though I haven't updated it to be more correct, I'm kinda happy with how I ended it... So, no getting mad, kay? Promise? ...PROOOOMISSSSE? ...Alright, so no promises. I just hope you read and enjoy! ^^
I Loved Her
She was a saint. She watched over her children, protective and almost fearless. Her arms were warm and safe, and when she raised them, all who surrounded her would stop and a silence would settle, waiting for her words to ring out. Her voice could be as sweet as any bird's melodic song or filled with so much emotion that it could make even the bitter Hades weep. Her eyes were soft when a baby was nestled in her lap or when she fed a small child. Her eyes were bright when a toddler grasped her sweatpants and asked to give her a hug. Her laughter was like a breath of fresh air, which was now so very rare in the empty bowl we're forced to live in. She was beautiful, but alas, she didn't know it.
I was a sinner; greed consuming my thoughts, slowly, but surely. My arms were not warm and inviting. I was not courageous or unafraid. People only listened to my ramblings in hope for food, not to talk about my plans for the future. My voice would crack and was raspy, like I have always needed a glass of water. My eyes would flash, and were dangerously sharp. I didn't laugh much anymore, for there was nothing that I thought of to make me laugh. The future that I created was an illusion, a fantasy compared to the grim nightmare that was inevitable. I wasn't appealing to the eye; too business-strict, too uptight, especially compared to the casualness of tee-shirts and shorts that other were adorning.
And yet I loved her.
I never thought that she would ever talk to me. In school, she was just a regular girl; the pretty, smart one. Not genius like Astrid from Perdido Beach, not stunning like Diana from Coates Academy. But she made herself there. You couldn't miss her. And I didn't. I stared from afar, wondering about her, curious. At first I didn't get it, why I couldn't pull my eyes away from her when she stood in front of the class or was just walking by me in the halls. I didn't get it when she used to have her hair down, I'd always think, 'God, she's pretty.' I didn't understand when my face would heat up when she looked over at me, and just flashed a smile.
And yet when I did find out why I got so flustered, she never found out. But I found out something, something that was eating away at the angel. It was like a demon, chewing and gnawing its way through her. She was getting weaker and weaker with each passing day. At first, I thought it was like everyone else, hunger striking its terrible ways and planting its roots in her belly. But I was so wrong. I would gather up my courage (whatever amount I had, it wasn't much) and offer her something, every so often. But she would refuse. Politely declining or making up an excuse, it didn't matter how she ignored the food, she just did. And it scared me.
Soon the demon was more furious, ravaging. I would notice how she would have to pull her loose-fitting pants up after she was holding a child, or when she had to fix her sweatshirt that was drooping down one of her bony shoulders. I didn't say a word to her brother nor anyone else about it, it wasn't my business. But my heart ached when I saw her cheeks sink in, slowly, day by day. Her eyes still shone, but would flash dangerously when food entered the daycare. Her voice was still melodic, but she would have to clear her throat now from time to time when it began to be raspy.
And yet I loved her.
I would sit and watch her from afar as she slowly deteriorated. I watched her figure slim down to a twig, though I did and said nothing. I watched her brother try to care for her. But he had no idea of the monster growling inside her, eating away at her. But I did. And even though I would stare and gaze at her, I wouldn't make a move. I knew my place; to watch from far-off, out of harm's way. I knew no matter how much I wanted to save her, hold her and tell her how beautiful she was, it wasn't my role in the play that was her life. But it never hurt to watch.
And that's what I did. I watched her get skinnier and frailer. I watched the dispute between her and John, after he had found out about the demon. I had just watched as her life crumpled, the need to go save her, comfort her was stronger than ever. But I didn't. It wasn't my place. The days that followed were hard, as she struggled to save that demon. She was a saint, trying to save everyone, even the demons. But John didn't like the demon, nor did I or the prees.
And yet I loved her.
Days, weeks, months flew by without any warning. The prees grew, as did I and all of the rest of the children. But she grew smaller. Her arms so weak they could barely lift an infant. Her legs so thin they looked close to snapping under her –very little- weight. My eyes would blur with the memories of her old self. Her beauty, her radiance, her essence of motherhood and protection. And when reality sank back in, I stared at the ghost of her former person. Gangly, hollow, frail. Her arms were no longer protective. Her voice cracked and was strained. Her eyes no longer shone. My heart was shattering into a million pieces, dust in my chest.
It was days after the second Christmas in the FAYZ had occurred that we buried her. She had deteriorated far too much and the battle between saint and demon had ended. She weighed next to nothing as I gently laid her into the soft dirt. Prees were wailing above my head, John trying to remain strong, but not able to hold back the raw rage and sorrow. Edilio had his head hung low, in respect, but I could see his shoulders shaking. Astrid had her head buried in Sam's shoulder, silently crying, Sam, however, stared at the ground as though his own tears had dried up.
Tears dripped down my cheeks as I took my hands back. She was dressed in an old dress of her and John's mother's. It was off-white, lacey and flowy. The sleeves drooped off of her shoulders. I choked back a sob as a smile suddenly broke out on my face.
I realized that although her cheeks were sunken in, her body tight and scarily thin, and her eyes shut for an eternal sleep, she was finally at peace. She had succumbed to the demon, that much was true, but her face was of utter peace and calmness. Sorrow would plague my heart for the young girl that stole it and would keep it in the dark, dank grave; but one thing I would always know, as long as I lived on in the little world of our own, I would always love her. The sinner would forever love the saint.
And I did.
Miss Rouge Apple~ Hey all! I know... I killed Mary... BUT it was for the sake of the one-shot! I swear I will have her alive in the next one for her! Yes, I'm planning another one-shot! Anywhoo, AGAIN, this was written before I read LIES, and as I reread this one-shot, I did not want to change how I wrote it. Cause I was happy ^^ Not with Mary dead, just... err... You know what I mean! LOL!
Thanks for reading! Please review, dah-lings!