Drifting Towards You

by Ulysses1

An extension fic based on ep 3.17, which also includes my version of what the scene was that Ray and Neela were talking about that involved too much whiskey. This was going to be a one shot but now I am expanding it to two chapters. I hope you enjoy!

TITLE: Drifting Towards You

AUTHOR: Ulysses1 (Jean)

RATING: FRT (this chapter)

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing on ER, but wish I owned Ray
SPOILERS: An extension fic based on ep 3.17, which also includes my version of what the scene was that Ray and Neela were talking about that involved too much whiskey. This was going to be a one shot but now I am expanding it to two chapters. I hope you enjoy!

Neela looked over at Ray as he focused on the road before him, a slight smile upon his lips. As each day passed and her mourning for Gallant had lessened, she realized how much she had missed seeing that smile on a regular basis over the last few months. Ray had always been able to make her forget the stresses of the day with that smile or with a random corny joke. He brought laughter and fun to her life. Her decision to meet him at Ike's the other night had been a good one.

"Thanks for the ride Ray. Tony was supposed to bring me home but I am not sure what happened. He just disappeared."

Ray squelched the desire to make a snide comment or a disgusted facial expression. It still bowled him over that Neela had taken up with a guy like Gates. The dude was as unethical as they come and yet, for some reason Neela still gravitated to him. He cleared his throat, dispersing the negative thoughts from his mind. She was here now, with him and that is what mattered. Gate's was the dillweed now.

"Come on Neela, you know I could never let my roomie take the L after all this snow!" He glanced over at her affectionately, a sparkle in his eye.

"No, no, Ray, I definitely should know that," she agreed. He was always looking out for her. Through it all, Ray Barnett took care of her. "I think I am ready for winter to be over though, aren't you Ray? It has been so horribly cold and I am sick of all this bloody snow."

Ray smirked and chuckled softly. "You? Sick of snow? Oh, I don't know Neela. Remember that snowstorm that we were hanging out drinking and decided to go sleigh riding at one am in the morning?

Neela let out a peel of laughter. "Oh my God! I thought you were raving mad when you suggested it."

"Yeah well, for a British girl that grew up in soggy England, you sure know how to throw a mean snowball."

Flashback

Ray and Neela sat on the living room couch, which had been temporarily moved to another location, their legs propped up casually on the windowsill before them, watching the flurry of snowflakes fall furiously to the ground. Neela took a long sip of her beer, a feeling of contentment and peacefulness flowing through her body. The lights were dimmed low and no music played in the background like it usually did when Ray was home so that they could enjoy the quiet of the winter wonderland.

"This was a brilliant idea Ray. There is something about the first snowfall of the winter. It reminds me of when I was a girl and they would announce the school closings on the telly."

"Oh yeah, when was that? When you went to the University of Chicago?"

"NO, you bloody idiot," she chided back. "It does snow in London. It just doesn't accumulate much and is pretty much gone within a few hours. Really makes creating the proper snowman or sledding quite trying."

Ray took a swig of his beer. Teasingly he leaned over and poked her in the side, causing Neela to squeal and press her body towards the arm of the couch to avoid his tickling. "Oh, so that is how it is huh? First I am brilliant and now I am an idiot."

Neela flashed a bright smile at her roommate. "You said it, not me."

"Ouch." Ray said in mock hurt. He glanced down at his watch, squinting in the darkness and then looked at her thoughtfully. "There is quite a lot of snow now. We could always go make up for your snowman and sledding trauma." He raised his eyebrows challengingly.

Neela snorted. "Shut up! You are mad Ray. It is one am in the morning!"

"And?" he questioned, his tone indicating that she had no point.

"Aannnd," she tilted her head to the side in thought, feeling looser as she finished her third beer. "And, why the hell not!" she finished resolutely and stood up abruptly before she thought about it too much and changed her mind.

Ray clapped his hands. "Alright, that is my girl!"

Neela felt a blush creep to her cheeks at his words. She chided herself for drinking too much beer.

Ray emerged from his room covered from head to toe in winter gear carrying a long, narrow yellow board with black treads and a long nylon yellow rope at the end of it in his hand and a purple flying saucer in the other.

Neela let out a bark of laughter. "WHAT is that?"

"Neela, Neela, Neela, didn't you study up on American culture before you came here? This is what is called a Snurf board, the great grandfather of what is now known as a snowboard. My mom got it for me at a garage sale when I was a kid.

Neela rolled her eyes. "I should have known you were a snowboarder."

"Hey now," Ray cajoled. "No generalizations Neela, I told you I was never a stoner." He shook his finger at her in reprimand and handed her the sleds, while he made his way to the kitchen and retrieved two flasks from the cabinet.

Neela watched in amusement as he grabbed the bottle of whiskey from their liquor cabinet and filled both flasks to the rim without spilling a drop.

"Stoner no, bloody alcoholic definitely." She said dryly.

Unfazed, Ray responded. "Hey, you gotta have a vice or you are just plain boring."

Neela's breath hitched as he unzipped her parka and stored her flask in the inside pocket and proceeded to zip her back up again and pat her on the shoulder. She wondered if her roommate knew that he occasionally caused her heart to race when he invaded her personal space. He was one of the only people that ignored her warning signs about getting too close. It unsettled her.

"You'll thank me for these once we are outside."

As Neela followed him out the door, she thought wryly to herself, no one would accuse Ray Barnett of being boring.

They turned to each other and grinned like conspiratorial school kids as they stepped out on the steps of their apartment. The streets were empty and the streetlights cast a luminous sheen on the newly fallen snow. It was exhilarating to see the snow like this, instead of the dirty, sandy snow and salt stained cars that normally greeted them when they left their apartment. Ray whipped out his flask as a gust of wind came around the corner and took their breath away, attempting to encourage them to return to the warm haven of the apartment. He took a long swig and grunted as it hit bottom and handed it to Neela. He bit his lip as he looked at her, as she batted her lashes to keep the snowflakes out of her eyes as she tilted the flask up and drank. His laugh echoed across the quiet streets as her eyes flew open wide as the liquor met its destination. Fascinated, he stared at the small drop of whiskey that dribbled from her lip as she pulled the flask away quickly with a gasp. An autopilot, he lifted his gloved hand and wiped it away gently, causing Neela's eyes to remain wide. Apparently, unaffected, he retrieved the flask from her hand and capped it, returning it to his pocket with a shaky hand.

Ray jerked his head towards the snow covered road. "Onward? Buegelow Park?"

Neela nodded and grinned, her smile getting wider as her boot made the first imprint in the moisture laden snow. "I love that…"

"Love what Neela?"

"I love making the first set of tracks in the snow, like I am breaking into new territory or something. But then almost immediately after, I am sad that I have tainted it and taken away its beauty." She looked hesitantly at Ray, to see if he thought she was daft for such trivial thoughts. She saw nothing but acceptance.

Ray threw down the flying saucer and nodded his head towards it. "Have a seat Neela, I'll save you from your guilt."

Neela laughed sheepishly. "Nooo, I, Ray…"

Ray once again handed her the flask, refusing to take no as an answer. "Sit down Neela, I'll take you on a wild ride."

"No doubt," she responded and sat down with a thump, grimacing slightly as the saucer sunk slightly into the snow. She tipped the flask to her lips and felt the liquid warm her once again, without the shock of the first time. "On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen…" she yelled. She screamed as her head jerked back as Ray grabbed the rope and took of running down the street.

By the time they got to the park, their sides ached from laughing. Neela had fallen off the saucer several times as Ray jerked it from side to side and was covered in snow. "You!" she said breathlessly, are a worthless wanker!"

Ray chuckled and grabbed the flask from her hand. "Easy there roomie. We don't want any bed spins like you had that night we did the tequila shots."

Neela spun around in circles, her arms open wide. "Who cares! It's a winter wonderland out here Ray! No GSWs, no rape victims, no children with horrible life threatening diseases. Just you and me and…" she looked at the hill before them, "and a really lame hill." She fell backwards as her spinning combined with her last several sips of whiskey and landed flat on her back in a fit of giggles. Her giggles increased as Ray fell right beside her flapping his arms and legs.

"Ray Barnett, are you making snow angels?" she asked incredulously.

"I am," he said indignantly. "I'll have you know Dr. Rasgotra, I was the champion snow angel maker on my block because I could get up," he grunted as curled his body up with a force that brought him upright almost immediately without using his hands, "and have the least damage to the quality of my snow angel." He hopped out of his imprint several feet and turned around to face her, his breath catching as he took in the vision of her lying in the snow, propped up on her elbows, staring at him intently.

"You sound like you had great times as a kid in the snow Ray. I mean you kept your sleds all this time."

"Well," he said thoughtfully, "when you don't have a whole lot of fun memories as a kid, you have to hold on to the ones you have as long as you can."

"Ray," Neela said softly, wanting to enquire more about the past he rarely mentioned. She was immediately detoured as he grabbed her hands and hauled her off the ground. "Time to teach you how to snurf!"

Neela sat in an exhausted heep at the top of the hill as she watched Ray expertly maneuver the Snurf board down the slope. She had lost count of how many times she had fallen in an ungraceful position only to be rescued laughingly by Ray. In his attempt to assist her, he must have made contact with every body part she owned. Thank God for the numbness that the whiskey, the cold and the multi layered clothing had brought. She sipped at the whiskey flask in her pocket and reflected on her relationship with her roommate. She doubted that she had ever got to know someone so fast, yet still did not know so much of his past. What she did know was, that no matter what kind of life he had when he was younger, he had made the most of it because he was one of the best people she knew now. Loyal, trustworthy, intelligent, free-spirited…but most prominently, a caretaker. She stopped herself from any further thoughts, not wanting to ponder on any deeper feelings and what might be revealed. Fumbling with the top of the flask, Neela capped it, placed it back in her pocket and stood up, packing a round snow ball in her hands. She laid it in the snow and rolled it, happiness overcoming her as more snow stuck to it and it became bigger.

Ray came up behind Neela and pelted her in the backside with a snowball, eliciting a screetch and the infamous Ragostra glare over her shoulder. He surveyed her handiwork, walking around the snowman, his hand on his chin as if he were appraising a work of art.

"What?' she said in mock defensiveness.

"Well, you might want to stick to doctoring." He grunted as a snow ball hit him in the side of the head. Quickly, he crouched over and grabbed a handful of snow, causing Neela to dart away in another direction. She laughed as she sprinted away, only to realize that he had not followed her. He was busy working on the snowman. Neela walked up cautiously and peered over his shoulder.

"You bleedin perv you!"

Ray stood with his back to her, busily rounding the orbs he had placed on the front of the "snow woman". "Hey, you abandoned him…her. I always wanted to make one of these as a kid but my Mom would have cracked me one. Now, I am all grown up and don't have to worry." His hands swirled around the snow breasts seductively as he turned to Neela, an evil smirk playing across his face. His eyes flew open.

"Is that so?" Neela had crept behind Ray stealthily with a large handful of snow, which she proceeded to smash in his face just as he turned towards her.

Ray spit the snow out of his mouth. "Oh, ho, ho, you are SO dead. He took a step towards her and Neela once again sprinted but not fast enough. Ray caught her around the waist at the top of the hill and they both went down, a tangle of limbs, peals of laughter ringing across the park. Ray grasped Neela's sides and rolled them down the hill over and over, snow finding its way into all openings in their clothing. They landed at the bottom of the hill in hysterics, Ray's body covering Neela's. As their laughter subsided, they realized the proximity of their bodies.

"Uh, ssssorry," Ray began to stammer, only to be overcome by the strong smell of whiskey permeating the air. "Aww, Neela, how much did you drink?" He waived his hand in front of his nose feigning distaste.

"Oh hell," she exclaimed. A look of shock crossing her face as she felt the liquid seeping through her layers of clothing soaking her bra.

Ray had tears of laughter falling down his face as the order became stronger and stronger and Neela pushed him off her ferociously to get to the open flask in her pocket. As she fumbled with her coat, a bright light shone in their faces causing them both to be temporarily blinded.

"What the?" Neela exclaimed.

"Do you folks need assistance in finding your home? We've had several calls about some kids disturbing the peace.

Ray choked watching the horror cross Neela's face as the officer sniffed the air suspiciously. "Do you have open containers of alcohol? This is a private park and alcohol is not allowed…"

Ray grabbed Neela's arm in rescue as she sat looking at the officer dumbfounded and raised her to her feet. "I'm sorry officer, we were just leaving. We work at County in the ER. We're both residents there and we were just letting off a little steam. We had some serious traumas today and needed to unwind. I am sure you know how that goes being in the law enforcement business."

Neela watched as Ray once again brought forth the power of the Barnett charm. She felt him pull her by the hand as he backed up the hill waiving to the officer, who had visibly relaxed as Ray continued to talk to him. "We won't be any more bother and um, we're sorry for the disturbance. Ray grabbed the Snurf board and the saucer and quickened the pace, causing Neela to have to jog beside him, giggling all the way home.

End Flashback

"Hey, you deserved that snowball. Afterall, you perved out my snowman."

Ray laughed. "Remember how the apartment reeked of whiskey even though you washed all your clothes as soon as we got home?"

"Ugh, "Well, that's because it probably leaked into my boots for God's sake. Or how you putting on my fuzzy pink bunny slippers I got at the white elephant exchange and the matching robe because you were so cold? A fit of giggles consumed Neela again, similar to the evening they were fondly remembering.

"I can't believe you remember that? Ray felt a sense of euphoria that she remembered so many details. He thought he was the only one since he remembered everything about her since he had been introduced on his first day.

"How would I forget it?

He laughed. It had been a great night. No cares, no worries. "Okay, yeah, that was a fun night."

Neela thought of all that had happened since then and how her life had changed so drastically. "Oh, God, it seems like a million year ago."

"Well, we should do that again sometime," Ray added, not missing an opportunity to pursue getting them together alone again. He felt a bit more confident since she had joined him at Ike's the other night. Bit being the key factor. It could go either way.

Neela warmed at his mention of doing it again. Life was fun with Ray, when they weren't arguing, but even that was exhilarating most of the time. "Minus the whiskey. I can't bounce back like I used to."

"Oh, yeah, tell me about it." He put the car in park and looked over at the woman that had consumed his thoughts and dreams for the past two years. Being with her again, laughing, reminiscing about all the things he loved about their friendship was more than he had ever anticipated just a few short weeks ago.

Neela found herself regretting that the car ride was over. It had gone so fast."Well, thanks for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow."

Shaking his head ruefully, Ray felt a euphoria that she anticipated seeing him the next day. When he couldn't see her, he stared at their picture obsessively. "I'm off."

Neela felt a jolt of sadness. Somehow along the way, she had looked forward to seeing him each day like she did before Michal had died. He brought her a sense of calm, yet an excitement, unlike Tony, who continued to make her feel just downright uneasy. She momentarily mulled over the fact that the thought of not seeing Ray the next day bothered her more than Gates leaving her at the hospital. Not to mention, she had not given Gates a thought the entire car ride. "Okay, then. I'll see when I see you." Her hand reached for the door until she felt Ray's hand slap down gently upon her own, his eyes asking her something. Something that scared her beyond measure, but that she had been secretly longing for for so long. She felt as if she almost stopped breathing as he gazed at her.

Ray searched Neela's face for a preview of her reaction to what he had wanted to do from almost the very moment he met her. She was staring back, rather than looking away quickly like she had done so often over the past few months. Like she was afraid of what she saw. But now, now she looked at him directly, in anticipation? It was now or never. This was the moment of truth. If this didn't pan out like he hoped, he would hang it up for good. The car closed in on him as he leaned forward until he felt her lean in as well. As if in a dream, Ray touched his lips to hers ever so softly. A whisper of a kiss that made his heart pound erratically. He took a breath and leaned in again, once again kissing her cherishingly, memorizing the feel of her lips against his. Time evaporated as he felt her lips tremble slightly as he caressed his lips over her bottom lip to come in for a more forceful kiss. He sensed her body melting just a little bit as her head leaned in to his more so she could feel more of a contact from his kiss. He obliged, his tongue sneaking out momentarily to touch warily upon her own.

Neela felt a heat infuse her body at the first touch of his lips. Her face felt as if it was flaming, while his lips caressed lovingly over hers. This was a kiss of something she had not experienced before. A kiss of such longing and completely from the heart versus lust. She felt her lower lip tremble as Ray expertly ran his lips over hers. There was no one else but them in her world at this moment and she prayed for it to never end. Her heart hammered in her chest so violently, as he touched his tongue tentatively to hers, that she was afraid he could hear it. Instead she heard her own moan of contentment and surrender escape her lips causing Ray to lean in further, his hand caressing through her hair to bring their faces even closer together. His lips plundered hers now and she returned his advances with her own fervor that surprised her, yet felt more like freedom. This was THAT kiss. That kiss that rocked your world and you compared every other kiss you had in your life to it.

Ray pulled Neela closer to him, awkwardly maneuvering her around the gear shift so that her chest was flush against his own. He breathed laboriously as her arms wrapped around him and her hands found their way to his hair. His emotions overwhelmed him and he felt almost frantic. This was better than he had ever imagined and it almost scared him. He pulled away slightly and rested his forehead against hers.

"Neela," he said achingly. He brought his lips to her full lips again, not able to keep from kissing her. He pulled away again and looked into her eyes that had slowly opened when he stopped momentarily. Her face was pink, her eyes dark and her lips were plumper making her look sexy as hell. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Ray," she whispered, her lips now touching to his, coaxing him to resume his explorations. Her need for him, now in full gear.

His hands caressed both sides of her face as he brought his lips in full contact with hers, slanting his head to deepen the kiss, all his feelings laid out on the table for Neela to do with what she pleased.

Neela now stopped the kisses, pulling away slightly to look at him. Her eyes widened at what she saw there. She had seen it before but now, now she felt tears threatening to consume her at the power of it. Ray Barnett loved her. "Ray, do you want to come up?" she asked shakily.

Ray felt the increased tightening in his pants at the thought of being able to worship her body as he had often envisioned. He kissed her bottom lip and then the top, finishing with a long lingering kiss on both lips. "I'd love to come up Neela, but I am not going to." He questioned his own sanity as the words came out of his mouth.

Neela's eyes widened in disappointment. "Oh." She made a move to disengage but he restrained her.

"Don't" he whispered. He ran his thumb over her bottom lip, mesmerized by it. "You know I want to come up Neela. How many times I've…" He kissed her again, leaving Neela little doubt about what he wanted and overwhelmed by the feelings his kisses elicited. "I just want you to know that it is what YOU want Neela. REALLY what you want. Because, I can't…" His voice caught in his throat. "Because I can't experience that with you and not know it is going to continue."

Neela ran a hand caressingly down his face. "Ray."

He caught her hand and brought it to his lips, the heat of his mouth searing her palm. "When you make a decision between Tony and me…"

"Ray, I don't have to…" The rest of her sentence was muffled as he placed his hand over her mouth.

Ray felt bright. In the end it may finally play in his favor. "You do Neela. An overnight decision, not one made because you are all hot for my body." His tone was teasing, yet firm on the overnight stipulation as he tried to lighten the mood.

Neela ripped Ray's hand from her mouth, a grin evident on her face. "YOU BLOODY pompous…mmmph" He silenced her again, his lips covering hers, sliding sensuously across her mouth, across her jaw bone and to the crook of her neck under the collar of her jacket. She felt his hand squeezing and caressing her thigh and moving towards her bottom. She was liquid. She stopped him and pulled away. "Um, ok," her hands flew up to her hair, subconsciously fixing it, as she tried to collect herself. "I think it is time for me to go before I embarrass myself out in front of Abby's flat." She reached for the handle of the door and fumbled with the lock in her fluster and turned back to look at Ray. He was gone. A gust of cold air greeted her, as did Ray's smirk that had now spread across his entire face reminding her of the blasted Cheshire cat.

Ray held out his hand and helped her out of the truck, watching the flush in her face slowly return at his gesture. He held fast to her hand and walked her up the front stairs.

Neela gulped as he dropped her hand and grasped her hips, slowly pushing her up against the door of the building. She felt the pulse in her neck increase rapidly as his lips descended once again to her neck. So this was what knee buckling felt like. A soft kiss flickered across her lips. "Good night Neela."

"Good night," she whispered. She watched as Ray extracted the key from her hand and opened the apartment door. He held the door open and placed the key back in her hand.

Ray kissed her cheek as she made her way past him. "Sweet dreams."

He winked and walked back to his car, whistling, as Neela watched him drive out of sight, her heated forehead pressed against the cold glass. She was startled out of her reverie by the shrill ring of the telephone. She prayed it wasn't Tony. She did not want to ruin the feelings she had right now.

"Hello."

"Neela." Her body tingled at the timber in his voice. How could a person saying your name do that?

"Yes," she replied.

"Make the right decision." Before she could respond, the phone clicked off. She stared back at the phone and dialed on autopilot.

"Tony, look, we need to talk."