I've had this sitting on my computer for over a year. I think I'll publish it now.
If You Give James a Cookie
If you give James a cookie, he'll wolf it down too fast.
It'll give him stomach aches, and he'll go to the toilet.
Knowing he'll be in there a while, he'll grab his Nintendo DS and play it while he's in there.
He'll play Scribblenauts until it has a glitch and throw it on the floor.
It will break.
He will cry.
He will be consoled by his sister, Karynne. (After he's come out of the bathroom, of course.)
He will remember how much she wreaks of teenager and pull away.
He will run away.
His sister will chase after him.
He will smack her over the head with a baseball bat, and she will die.
He can't let anyone see, so he'll drag her out into the yard to bury her.
He'll need a shovel.
He'll run to the shed, but there is no shovel.
The lawn-mower is there.
He'll get an idea.
He'll ride the mower out to where his sister is and run over her.
She'll splatter all over the lawn.
He'll get the hose to wash her away.
Her remains will go down to the creek, where his cousin, Kris will see.
He will need to kill Kris.
He'll drown him.
Dan will be close behind.
James will drown him, too.
There will be two corpses and many scraps of Karynne.
He will need to clean that up.
He will use a stick to force it downstream.
Some of it will get on his clothes.
He will go to get changed and see the cat in his room.
He'll chase her out.
She will turn and attack him.
He will kick her across the room.
She will puke.
He'll get hungry.
He'll want a cookie.