Minato stared at the still figure of his young, silver-haired student. For just a moment, he couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't breathe.
The strong smell of metal and wood and burnt flesh, the sight of scattered limbs and mangled bodies, the blood everywhere – it was overwhelming him, clouding his senses.
The Yellow Flash sunk to his knees; his mind vaguely registered that his pants would be all soaked in blood now, and he tried to regain his breath.
Within a few seconds, due to the fact that this exercise had been drilled into him since he was five years old, the control of his body was all his own once again, and he reached out to touch Kakashi's shoulder. (He ignored the fact that his hands were shaking.)
Slowly, tenderly, Minato pulled the boy out of the pool of blood he was laying in face-down. When the teacher turned the limp body of his student around, he saw that there was no reason to close Kakashi's eyes. They were already shut.
Minato wanted to cry, but didn't – his face was remarkably calm. Passive even, as if he'd stopped caring at all.
In one last gesture of kindness to the boy, the lone teacher tried to wipe away some of the blood that was staining Kakashi's pale face, but there was too much of the red liquid on Minato's very own hands, and he only made the sight of red caking on white skin worse. He retained his hand and sighed softly, reprimanding himself.
The guilt was setting in.
It was that moment the silver-haired child – teen, man? – stirred. The Yellow Flash actually did yelp out loud in surprise as Kakashi opened one eye.
Red stared at blue. In shock, Minato watched how tears started flowing as the eye closed again – in pain.
"…This is Hell…" A sad whisper.
Minato held his first and last student close.
Minato woke up, his eyes shot open and he exhaled deeply. He looked to his left. Kushina was staring at him, "Another nightmare."
"… Yeah."
"Care to share it, Minato?"
The sound of her voice (too loud during the early mornings, but just loud enough for when the nightmares came) calmed him down, and even a slight smile played on his lips as his fingers started toying with her hair, "…It's nothing to worry about. Go back to sleep…"
Wrong move.
The fiery redhead sat up immediately, her once worried eyes and soft tone replaced by something that resembled fury but not quite, "Namikaze! How dare you to tell me not to worry – you have been having nightmares for TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT! AND YOU NEVER EVEN TOLD ME ANYTHING – I ONLY FOUND OUT ABOUT IT BECAUSE I LIKE WATCHING YOU SLEEP!"
Minato cringed.
"…I can't help you if I don't know what's going on in that genius-mind of yours, idiot." Kushina finished in the caring tone she used before, "Let me help you. You don't have to carry all of those burdens on your own. We are in this together, remember…?"
Suddenly, Minato pulled his soon-to-be wife close, "Yes. Yes, we are."
The blond shinobi relinquished the moment of peace and quiet, whishing it would never end. It ended too soon when the red-haired woman nudged his ribs, "Okay, now spill it."
Kakashi knew that today wouldn't be great the moment he woke up.
The first reason: his curtains were drawn wide open, and the sun was blazing in, destroying every chance he had at having a lay-in.
Second: it seemed like someone was trying to cook dog food in his small kitchen, and the smell of it was making him nauseous.
Third: someone had actually broken the lock of his windows and gotten all of his carefully constructed wires into one gigantic knot, which meant he would have to replace it if he wanted to sleep without constantly waking up from paranoia.
And the fourth, but most important reason: how in the world had he not noticed anyone sneaking in?
And why would someone cook dog food? Seriously?
The pale teen got out of bed, hid a kunai in one of the hidden pockets of his pants, and casually walked to the kitchen, not even knowing what he could
expect finding there.
Well, he most certainly had not expected to see the girlfriend – or was it fiancée now? – of his teacher standing there.
(If he had actually bothered with looking around in his apartments before heading to the kitchen, he probably would've noticed red strands of hair, which were left behind on purpose to make sure the young Hatake wouldn't go into assassination-mode once he woke up and found out there was a break-in).
(Kakashi hadn't noticed the hairs, and it could be considered lucky that he was practically still half-asleep and dulled by the safety of his own house – otherwise a certain redhead would've felt a kunai against her throat by now…)
"Kakashi-kun, you're awake!" Kushina grinned, and the smaller shinobi barely avoided the hand that tried to ruffle his hair, "I can't believe you didn't wake up once I started messing with your lock – what kind of genius are you?"
"A tired one." Kakashi deadpanned. "I hope you do realise you're cooking dog food?"
Kushina's grin, if possible, grew even wider, "I sure do."
Kakashi simply shrugged, not caring in the slightest – Kushina-san wasn't called one of the most unpredictable ninja's of Konoha without a reason.
That did not mean he understood this action though.
"Kushina-san, what are your reasons for coming here at…" the silver-haired teen looked at the old alarm clock at his nightstand, a few metres away and still visible, "…six in the morning?"
The red-haired woman's shoulders shook as she tried to hold in her laughter.
Her eyes were closed in pure giddiness, and Kakashi wondered how people could just smile that easily. His teacher's fiancée was so open, she practically wore her emotions on her sleeve… - Perhaps that was one of the reasons she was so unpredictable. Yes, mood swings, that would explain quite a lot, wouldn't it?
"Ya know, brat," Kushina started, "I thought I'd make you a decent breakfast – but you only got dog food in the cupboard, and the fridge is empty."
Kakashi blinked owlishly, and rubbed his closed left eye with the palm of his hand, "That is very kind of you, I guess."
For one of the first times in his life, the younger shinobi wished for something to say, simply to lift the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them after his rather emotionless statement.
"Though I am not going to eat that what you are cooking now." Just great. Now he was just being rude.
The beaming smile the red-haired woman was sending him was making him rather nervous – was smiling like that a normal reaction to bluntness? Kakashi honestly didn't understand. He didn't get her in the slightest.
Kushina closed the space between them in two large steps, and this time she managed to plant her not-so-very-large hand on the top of his head in a very Minato-sensei-esque way, "I know – and that's why I am inviting you for dinner this evening! You are expected at seven, at Minato's place. Be on time… oh, wait, I don't have to tell you that, right? Anyway, see ya!" Kushina ruffled his hair, and patted him on his shoulder before making her way back to the window from whence she came.
As she placed her feet on the windowsill, she turned around and winked at the student, "Oh, and don't forget to train today, and get yourself some lunch as well! Actually, I made sure Gai would be waiting for you at Training Field Thirteen this morning at… half past nine! You don't have to thank me – I know I am awesome! See ya at seven!" With that, she was gone.
Kakashi stared at the boiling dog food in one of his two pans, and really wondered what it had to do with coming over for dinner.
(This was the kind of logic, if it could even be described as such, he was sure would never, ever be able to understand. He wondered if reasoning like that was an usual occurrence for Uzumaki Kushina. If it was, he felt a sense of pity for his teacher).
He walked to his still opened cupboard and placed a half-filled can of dog food on top of the lowest shelve. Only then he noticed the large wrapped package that was hidden behind two unopened cans. Kakashi's lone eye widened in realisation.
Two lunchboxes.
Even from this distance (when he ignored the stench of Kushina's attempt at 'breakfast') the bentos smelled amazing. He made a mental note to thank her – it was really kind.
Minato resisted the urge to scream. His wife, no fiancée, had done some something incredibly stupid.
She had invited Kakashi over for dinner.
At his house.
Without consulting him.
"Kushina! How could you? You didn't even tell me!" The blond man shoved his hands in his pockets to stop himself from flailing, "Why?"
The female Uzumaki turned on her heels, her red hair whirling around her, "Stop whining, idiot! I have to think!"
"Why don't you do that before you act!"
"Shut up!"
"Kushina," Minato grabbed her wrist rather forcefully, "if you embarrass or hurt him in any way, in my, our, house, or at Ichiraku's, I will tell Sandaime-sama who switched his priceless tobacco for kelp…"
The redhead grabbed the collar of his shirt in turn, "Don't you see I'm doing this for the both of you? You, and Kakashi, need to interact more – he's as detached as can be, and you distancing yourself from him isn't exactly working, ya know?"
Minato's eyes hardened, "I am not distancing myself from him."
Kushina's eyes started glinting, "Yes, you are. You have been distancing yourself from your team since Obito-kun died. And more recently, the gap between you has become even wider. Without Rin-chan here… Since she was struck down…" She paused before continuing with a sharp voice, "You are his teacher, and he is your first student – man up and face him!"
After those last words, something seemed to break within Minato's eyes, and he released her wrist.
"Oh… Kushina…"
The woman held his collar for a few seconds, then let go, and smoothed the fabric of his shirt, "It's okay, Minato. This isn't your fault alone.. He's avoiding you too… You know you'll have to be the grown-up in this situation… It'll be okay I'm sure…"
Minato sighed deeply, and started toying with Kushina's long red hair once again, "I'll… I'll apologise to him. Please, let him forgive me…" he said more to himself than to his wife. (They were already married in everything but in name).
Kushina swallowed deeply, and tried to stop herself from crying, "I'll start preparing dinner then…"
That evening, ten minutes past seven, Kakashi arrived at Minato's windowsill. Kushina angrily dragged him inside, threatening to bash in his head in if he made them worry like that again. Everyone knew that when Hatake Kakashi wasn't on time, something most definitely had happened to him that made him unable to come (which meant trouble most certainly).
The silver-haired apprentice simply smiled at her, and told her that he had to get rid of Gai-in-stalk-mode first: by beating him in a challenge, which concerned saving cats out of trees. Gai was probably still looking for cats in distress as Kakashi was making his way to Minato's house because he noticed he was going to be late and…
Kushina didn't want to hear any of it and pushed him into the dining room, where Minato was busy staring at his fingers as he was strumming them on the table.
The teacher and student exchanged greetings before the redheaded woman ordered Kakashi to sit down and eat, which he did immediately when he saw the corner of Minato's mouth twitch into a smile as Kushina snapped her two chopsticks in half.
"Ah, oops, I'll go get myself new ones. I'll be right back."
The woman left the room, and Minato's tension dissipated immediately, "I don't know what's gotten into her… She's been behaving like this for months now."
"She was cooking dog food in my kitchen this morning." Kakashi stated. Minato sighed deeply and chuckled sheepishly.
"And she left a lunchbox for me and Gai to eat. Do you think that thanking her might get her to behave less… brisk?" The young Hatake continued, obviously - to Minato, at least - trying to hide his doubts about this kind of social interaction behind a mask of disinterest.
The older man shrugged, "I have no idea. But that's why I love her, I guess?"
Kakashi didn't know what would be appropriate to say in response – if Minato didn't know why he loved his fiancée, then Kakashi most certainly did not know - so he settled for a nod and scratching his nose. The blonde smiled. He really felt like bending over the table and ruffling the grey hair of his student. He didn't, knowing Kakashi wouldn't be pleased by the action, especially when Kushina would come back into the room.
An easy silence fell over them. There was nothing to be said, and to be honest, Kakashi liked it better this way. Just sitting here, with the smell of food and home surrounding him, with Minato smiling and Kushina doing whatever she was doing at that moment (it sounded like she was turning the entire cupboard upside down in her quest for a pair of chopsticks) – all of it made him feel so incredibly comfortable.
Kakashi clenched his jaw. He didn't deserve any of this.
If Minato had noticed this small gesture of nervousness, he didn't show it. Instead, the blond man grinned at him, and asked how his day went.
Kakashi's eye smiled back, and he started to talk.
The dinner went uneventful. Kushina did not break more eating utensils or go into unexplainable fits of rage, Minato was smiling happily all of the time, and even Kakashi showed a small part of his humorous, 'lets-comment-Minato-on-everything' side.
The air was peaceful and calm; maybe even describable as innocent – though Kushina wouldn't want to put it that way. Minato's eyes averted when Kakashi tried to look at him, and the Hatake's comments were a little harsh at times (though, that might be a result of his bluntness and previous stick-in-the-mud-persona as well).
When all the bowls and plates were cleared, and after Minato'd commented Kakashi on eating way too fast, the only female started biting her lip.
She'd created a chance for Minato to talk properly to his student, to sort out any misunderstandings, to clear up the mess that was their bond, but if the blonde did not take it, there was nothing to be done.
If Kakashi would leave before they could talk… If Minato let him go…
Suddenly, the mood in the room shifted.
Minato was leaning forward, his hands neatly folded in front of him.
Kushina stared at him, realising that her plan was slowly unfolding at this very moment, right in front of her eyes.
His usually bright blue eyes were piercing, as if observing an enemy.
His student in front of him was the victim to this intense stare, and the boy was obviously uncomfortable. Kakashi pulled at his hitai-ate unconsciously.
"Kakashi-kun…" Minato started, his hard gaze softening.
"Yes, Minato-sensei." Kakashi answered, almost automatic.
The teacher stood up. The air was very tense. Kushina wished she could say something, just to break the silence, but then she would ruin the mood, which would not be a bright idea in the slightest. This was all supposed to be part of her plan after all.
What she had not expected was for Minato to sit down on his knees, and then bowing his head so low it was almost touching the floor.
"Kakashi-kun, please forgive me!"
"I am so sorry, Kakashi-kun!" The blonde man's forehead was now touching the floor. It was such a pleading, shameful gesture – something that Minato shouldn't have to do, it made Kushina sick to the core.
The gray-haired child on the opposite side of the table watched the event unfold with shock visibly written on his face. His eye was wide, and his fists were clenched.
Kakashi swallowed thickly, and opened his mouth to speak. He closed it again. He truly was at loss for words.
Minato apologised again, his voice even more pleading than before.
The young Hatake closed his eye as if the weight of the world crashed down on him, "M-Minato-sensei, please stand up. Just, just stand up. Don't apologise, just don't. Don't. Please. …Sensei, don't apologise to me…"
The teacher looked up, his blue eyes flashing with unspoken emotion and hurt, "Kakashi, really, I should apologise to you. I do not even deserve the title of
teacher, when all I've done to you was leaving you to handle situations so crucial. I should've stayed with you, listened to you, advised you. I should've been more of a teacher to you – to you and Obito and Rin." Kakashi gasped when Minato said the names of their late teammates out loud, "Kakashi, I…" Now Minato stopped to take a breath, "I apologise for not being there when… Rin died. The Gods know I'm so sorry, I do not deserve to be forgiven!"
"There is nothing to forgive in the first place!" Kakashi suddenly shouted.
"It should be me apologising here! Get up! Get up – Stand!" Immediately after this short outburst, Kakashi's obvious fears and frustration were toned down, "Minato-sensei… I do not deserve this treatment. I do not… deserve this sincere apology. …It was… me, who… Rin…"
Kakashi couldn't voice his thoughts anymore, he just couldn't handle this. He couldn't handle seeing Minato, the one person he looked up to, down on his knees apologising for things out of his reach. Apologising for Kakashi's very own mistakes and failures. Begging for forgiveness.
"Minato-sensei…"
Just like Father.
"It was me who killed Rin. Not you." There it was, the numbness Kakashi hated and cherished so much – finally it was setting in, suppressing the awful memories that threatened to flood his mind. At last, now he could speak without his emotions getting the best of him. Finally he was being the shinobi he should be once again.
"Everything that happened concerning Team Yellow Flash was my fault. It was me who made the mistakes, not you. When Obito died for my sake, you were needed elsewhere, saving the lives of many brave men, who could return home to their precious people. It was my responsibility to protect Obito, but I failed."
"When Rin-"
"I killed her. The only fault you've ever made was admitting me into the team you wanted to lead so much. I destroyed them, you see. And now it seems, I'm crushing you as well." His tone was emotionless, his face blank.
Slowly Minato stood up, "You know that's not true, Kakashi."
The boy only raised his eyebrow, "It's obvious you haven't been sleeping, sensei."
This statement hit home, Minato's eyes flickered to the ground for less than a second, and Kakashi knew he was right, just as he expected.
Then, the third unexpected thing of that day happened. Minato caught his student in a tight hug (something Minato'd never done before, not even at Obito's funeral or back then when Kakashi was six and had just killed his first man). The silver-haired boy stiffened in shock. All words had left him.
"The only fault I've made was letting you bear these burdens alone. When was the last time you slept well, Kakashi?" The teacher felt Kakashi take in a sharp breath, and he knew the icy barrier his silver-haired student had built up was crumbling. The blonde man closed his eyes.
"You two really are a horrible pair, ya know?" Kushina muttered to herself, "Why don't you talk more often – neither of you should've had to carry this pain alone… In war, horrible things happen to good people… They just happen, ya know." She was losing her trail of thoughts again, and her verbal tic slipped in.
Minato felt Kakashi chuckle slightly, and he said, "We really are morons, ne?"
The boy slowly moved his arms and grabbed the fabric of Minato's shirt, returning the hug somewhat.
After a few minutes neither of the two moved or said anything, and Kushina silently stood up without them noticing, and slipped out of the room. Even though she was obnoxious, loud and rude, she knew when to read the atmosphere and leave.
She'd given the teacher and student a little nudge, and now it was up to them to sort out the troubles.
She smiled softly, and started searching for a spare futon. She was sure they would be needing it.
(And if they didn't, well, then it was just up to her to make sure Kakashi would stay).
A/N: I hope you were able to enjoy this rather short piece (or found it at least a little readable).
Have a nice day~
